Never Cut Twice
by shadowmaster62
Summary: [Complete!]After failing to save Sasuke, Naruto escapes the village. Now alone, on the run, and wielding the sword of the Demon of the Mist, Naruto tries to rebuild his life as a ninja. NarutoTemari pairing [Last Chapter: Promises Kept]
1. Prologue: Failure

Prologue: Failure

The night was cold, and the wind blew steadily over the treetops. On the wall stood a solitary figure, gazing off into the darkness of the forest, his mind haunted by memories. He had failed. Failed to save his friend and failed to keep his promise to Sakura. What was his "Way of the Ninja" worth if he couldn't even save those few who he cared about?

How many days had it been? He wasn't sure. He spent his days in fitful slumber haunted by nightmares, and his nights were spent exactly as he was now, gazing out into the forest, seeking answers.

He let himself drift, reflecting on all that had happened since he passed the Gennin exam, trying to find some fault in his actions, somewhere he had gone wrong. There must have been a way to save Sasuke, he refused to allow himself to think otherwise.

He thought about Kakashi and Iruka, those who had tried to teach him everything there was to know about being a ninja. He thought about Sakura, who he now realized would never have eyes for anyone other than the bastard; and of the various other people whom he has had the (sometimes) pleasure of knowing. Konohamaru, Lee, Neji Sandaime, Tsunade, Jiraiya, Shikamaru, Chouji, Hinata, and Kiba. He immersed himself in memories.

Naruto blinked and looked up at the sky, feeling a drop of water on his face. Within minutes, a light rain was covering Konoha. He laughed bitterly to himself as more painful memories surfaced. Memories of time spent in idle banter with Haku in the forest, of the inevitable fight they fought simply because they were on different sides, and some of the last words the boys had uttered:

"Please hurry and kill me, I'm sorry that you had to stain your hands…….Please fulfill your dreams."

"My dreams…..my dream to become Hokage, to gain everyone's respect, and to never take back my words….my dreams are a joke." Naruto broke, he fell to his knees and let his tears mingle with the rain. "I've been wasting my time, what would Zabuza and Haku think of me now. I once thought they were evil, but they both died in contentment, fighting for those they loved most."

Of all things he believed that to be true; and sometimes, it was all that kept him going. When he seemed doomed, he tried to remember the look Zabuza had had on his face, tears running down it, as he had fought to avenge Haku with nothing but a kunai in his mouth. There had been fury, despair, and love. Zabuza, killer of 100, demon of the hidden mist, had loved Haku like a son, and in return had gotten love, and loyalty above any other.

Naruto looked up into the sky and wondered if he would ever be able to understand those feelings, and suddenly felt a need to escape. He jumped off the wall onto the slightly damp forest floor, and dashed off into the darkness.

In years to come he would look upon this as one of the most irrational decisions he had ever made, but it was always followed up with a laugh and the comment that it was also one of the best.

Authors Note: Sorry for short prologue, I really have no idea how this will be received, so feel free to comment (this is just a subtle way of begging for reviews)


	2. A Short Vacation

Originally, Naruto had no idea where he was going; he just felt the need to run. He pushed himself to the limit, trying to escape the past by exhausting his body. He ran for what felt like hours, the rain splattering on his face as he was assaulted by memories. He continued to run long into the night, and he collapsed under a tree just as dawn was breaking and immediately fell into a blissfully dreamless sleep.

Naruto woke groggily to the sound of birds chirping. He sat up against the tree and, shading his face with one hand, glanced at the sun. It seemed to be late afternoon, as the sun was high and the puddles of water from the previous nights rain were already starting to dry up.

He stood up and stretched, letting out a long yawn, and took note of his surroundings. All the peace his previous nights exertions had given him vanished as soon as he realized where he was. This was where he had had his first experience fighting enemy shinobi.

He and his team had fought the demon brothers here, and he had, under this very same tree, sworn an oath on pain as he jabbed a kunai into his hand to bleed out poison.

He couldn't help but laugh at the irony; he had run right into the hands of the same experiences he had been trying to escape. He wondered idly if anyone in Konoha was worried about him, but brushed it off immediately, no one in Konoha would notice even if he disappeared from right under they're noses.

He froze at this thought and glanced at the path that led to wave country. He turned around in a circle, looking at all the scenery around him, and for the first time in weeks, he had a true smile on his face.

"Why not", he called out to the empty forest; "I could use a vacation, and it's been far to long since I did anything for myself, and it will be nice to see how that brat Inari has grown."

Having thoroughly convinced himself, and with nothing but the cloths on his back and 13 shuriken, Naruto eagerly dashed down the long road to wave country.

Despite his initial enthusiasm, hours of walking had dampened Naruto's spirits. There are very few things, he decided, more boring than traveling long distances by yourself. He was soon playing games with himself, seeing how far he could jump from one tree to another or pretending to be stalking an imaginary enemy; but these were only temporary distractions, so pretty soon he decided to just run again.

It took only 4 days to reach the borders of wave country and it was with great relief that a chakra depleted Naruto flopped up against the side of the Bridge that had altered his life forever, and just watched the people go by, waiting to regain some of his stamina.

Naruto wandered around the relatively small city that was the capital of Wave Country in awe. It was completely different from how it had been but a short time ago. Shopkeepers called out into the packed markets, and fresh fruit and vegetables from all corners of the globe filled produce carts. The city appeared to now be a central hub of trade.

Naruto's explorations eventually led him to the center of town, where he was more than shocked to see a large stone monument in the middle of a small park. It had a simple pyramid shape and was about 6 feet high, and each side was inscribed with the symbol of the hidden leaf.

After a short prayer at the monument, Naruto realized he had to stop stalling. He was tired, had no food or clothing, and was broke. He knew logically there was no reason to be afraid of Tazuna and his family, they were his friends, but he hadn't exactly given them any warning so he was understandably nervous.

He eventually did manage to work up his nerve and make his way to Tazuna's house; only to find that it was no longer there. With a sigh, Naruto went to a neighbor and knocked on the door.

"Yeah, waddaya want?" came the rather annoyed sounding voice from inside the house.

"Um…I was wondering if you knew where Tazuna the bridge builder is living?"

"Tazuna!" The door opened slightly and a middle aged man peeked out "He moved out a month ago, got into the trade business and got himself and his daughter a better house near the market, who wants to know?"

Naruto improvised, using mostly the truth.

"I'm an old friend of Inari, the grandson, and figured I'd visit as I passed through the country"

The man shrugged his shoulders and gave Naruto the address. Naruto got somewhat upset when he arrived at said address to find he had passed the very house earlier that day, but he was sufficiently impressed; it looked as though the old man had done well for himself after the bridge was finished. The house was no mansion, but it was 3 stories and looked brand new.

Now very tired of traveling, he trudged up to the door and gave three sharp knocks. Not a moment later, a voice, which Naruto recognized as belonging to Tsunami, called out from inside the house.

"Be there in a minute…..INARI! STOP THROWING THOSE KNIVES!"

Naruto sweatdropped as the sounds of a struggle were heard from within the house, a moment later, a somewhat stressed looking Tsunami opened the door.

"I'm very sorry sir, my son likes to play ninja with kitchen knives and…..Naruto!"

Naruto sweatdropped again as Tsunami spun around and yelled back into the house.

"DAD! INARI! ITS NARUTO AT THE FRONT DOOR"

The sound of pounding feet could be heard and Tsunami stepped out of the way as Naruto found himself flying backwards, the victim of a tackle hug, and landed rather firmly on his behind only to see a somewhat larger than he remembered Inari grinning at him from his seat on Naruto's stomach.

20 Minutes and 2 "Tackling Houseguest" Lectures Later, they were all sitting down to a late night snack of instant Ramen in the dining room.

"So, Naruto, what brings you all the way out here?" Tazuna inquired "Not that I'm not happy to see you, but I would expect that you'd be with your team."

Naruto didn't have the heart to tell them that Sasuke had betrayed the leaf, so he again used his improvisation skills.

"I just had some personal vacation time, and decided I'd come see how you were all doing" He accented this with his trademark fox grin. Inari grinned back, and Tsunami looked like she believed him but Tazuna raised his eyebrow slightly.

"Well," Tazuna said, "Your welcome to stay here as long as you like. As you can see," he gestured around, "my trade business is booming, so don't hesitate to ask if you need anything."

"Thanks for the offer, Tazuna-san," Naruto replied, "but right now, I want nothing more than a soft bed"

"Tsunami, if you would be so kind as to show our guest to his 'soft bed'," Tazuna laughed, "we'll let him get some sleep."

Tsunami led Naruto up to what appeared to be a guest room on the third floor, and he was more than happy to discover that the bed was much softer than the second hand junk he had at home. His last thought before he drifted off was: _"Maybe I should consider staying here for a while"_

Authors Note: Well, this is the first actual chapter, and the plot hasn't even gotten warmed up. I'll try to have another chapter up in the next couple days.


	3. Kubikiri Houcho, Rio, and the Barber

Naruto woke up before sunrise the next morning and sat up against the wall. It had been almost 6 days since anyone had seen him in Konoha. Another 10 days before that he had returned from his failed mission. 16 days. He could still feel the sting where Sakura had slapped him.

Could he really blame her? He had made a promise he couldn't keep, and it wasn't like she owed him anything. Its not like had helped her before. After all, wasn't it Sasuke who had defeated Haku to protect his friend, Sasuke who had protected them in the forest of death, Sasuke who saved her ungrateful ass from Gaara…

Naruto blinked at where his previous train of thought had taken him. It was rare for him to be this bitter; he had years of practice with being abused.

The more he thought about it, the more he realized that no one would cry for him if he never went back. Sure, Tsunade would be sad, but her duties would quickly consume her life and he would be forgotten. Jiraiya had left Konoha again, so it might take him years to even find out that Naruto had left. Damn, now he was just being depressing.

Naruto jumped out of bed, looked around the room to see his cloths laying, clean and folded, on a table near the door. He silently blessed Tsunami as he rushed to get dressed.

Tazuna was peaceful. He was the only one ever up this early, so he spent his time drinking green tea in meditative relection. He was calm, one with himself and his surroundings. Then came Naruto.

Like an orange bullet, Naruto bounced into the kitchen.

"GOOD MORNING! Tazuna-SAN" he called, causing Tazuna to spit out his mouthful of green tea and glare balefully at the boy who had the nerve to be this energized this early in the morning.

"Good morning Naruto, would you care for some tea?" Tazuna asked, but Naruto waved him off.

"So old man, where do you keep your instant ramen?" Tazuna blinked

"Ramen?…..there isn't any here, I don't like the instant stuff and my daughter won't let Inari touch the stuff, she says it causes insanity"

Naruto laughed, "insanity? I eat ramen 2-3 meals a day, and look at me!"

"Actually," Tazuna replied, "I think you're where she got the idea in the first place"

Tazuna smirked to himself as he watched Naruto grumble. "But," he continued, "I hear there's a great 24hour ramen stand on the corner of 18th and Swordfish"

Naruto blushed, "well see, I didn't actually bring any money with me, so…"

Tazuna looked at him for a second, and tossed him some money. "1000 yen, knock yourself out kid"

Naruto grinned and dashed out the door, calling back over his shoulder,

"ThanksoldmanIhavesomethingstodothismorningnotsurewhenI'llbeback."

The door slammed. Tazuna went back to his tea.

Naruto sprinted through town and found the ramen stand exactly where the old man said it would be. He hopped onto a stool and ordered 3 bowls of beef ramen (he didn't have time for a full meal) and while waiting pondered the mystery of why all ramen stands were owned by kind old men with cute daughters to take orders. His musings were short lived as said cute daughter quickly brought out his ramen. He wasted no time, and a small crowd of people on their way to work had gathered to watch him eat by the time he was finished.

Ignoring his fans, he leaped over the crowd and again started to run, he figured he only had about 12 minutes before the sun rose.

He arrived at his destination just as the first rays of sun were peaking over the horizon. Everything here was almost exactly as he remembered it, as if this place had been untouched by time. It was really nothing more than a small clearing in the woods, but it was one of Naruto's most important places.

It seemed like yesterday, he had carried Haku's body here all the way from the bridge, and he was soaked with blood and tears. Sakura had been fawning over Sasuke's injuries, so he and Kakashi had dug 2 graves, carefully placed the bodies in the holes, filled them in, and placed 2 crosses made of bound wood to mark the spot. Naruto had then, with all his strength, taken Zabuza's great sword and slammed it into the dirt.

It had also been here, 2 weeks later that he had sworn to never ignore his heart in favor of what his village told him to do. Those had been some of the most naïve words of his life.

Kakashi had smiled at him as he said that, everyone Kakashi loved had died for putting the mission first, but Kakashi had had reason to believe in his village, it was a place of belonging for him and it was all he had left. As long as a shinobi had a village, the village had to come first.

Considering how Konoha treated him, Naruto wasn't sure he could live with that.

As he approached the graves he had his breath taken away. His musings had slowed him down, and dawn was well underway. There was Zabuza's sword, right where he had put it, but the suns light had ignited the sky and clouds, making the sword look as if surrounded by a halo of fire.

Some imperceptible force drew him to it, and as the light reflected red off the exposed part of the blade, he unconsciously reached and grabbed the handle. This, for him, was the embodiment of Zabuza's spirit, everything the demon of the mist had done or felt, had done with this very blade at his side.

Part of Naruto screamed at him to let go, turn around and run back to Konoha, but his decision had been made long ago, he just had never realized it until that moment.

"Nukenin: Uzumaki Naruto" he said, as if introducing himself to the sword, and with one sharp pull, he drew it from the ground. He held it up with his right hand, and though significantly taller than Naruto himself was, the sword was surprisingly light.

He rested the back of the blade on his other hand and examined it. He had never really taken a close look at the sword before, as he had usually been trying to dodge it. The blade was mostly straight with a short curve at the end, the handle was about half as long as the blade, and was wrapped in some rough material as well as having ridges every 6 inches or so. Both, Naruto imagined, were there to help grip it. In total, he estimated the swords length at about 7½ feet.

As he looked closer, he saw an inscription. Engraved in the blade, right above the handle was written: 'Kubikiri Houcho'. Naruto snickered; it would be like Zabuza to name his sword. But then again, he supposed, it was also like himself.

His examination had only taken a couple of minutes, but the sun was now above the horizon, and Naruto quickly decided that he would need some way to hide the sword before the majority of the populace started to go about their business. He glanced around the clearing again, and with a short prayer and a promise to return, he was rushing back to the edge of town with Kubikiri over his shoulder.

He arrived at the edge of town to see, just as he had feared, people getting up and starting to fill the streets. The first thing he saw was a clothing store, so he rushed inside, being careful not to cut the top of the doorframe, and glanced around the store.

A young woman who had been working at a sewing machine was now staring rather pointedly at his sword.

"Hey lady, I have" (Naruto reached into his pocket and grabbed his change from breakfast) "508 yen, and I need a 7 foot by 4 foot piece of fabric, what can you give me?"

The young woman quickly composed her self and thought for a moment "Do you care about quality? I could give you a piece from the end of a roll, but ends are always frayed on one edge."

"I don't care about quality or color, but I would like it soon" Naruto said nervously. He was hoping that no one had recognized the sword and each second increased the risk.

The woman disappeared into a back room and appeared moments later with the requested cloth. It was thick, white, and almost exactly the size he needed.

Naruto grabbed the cloth, shoved the money into her hand, spread the cloth over the table, set Kubikiri on it… and stared. It hadn't really occurred to him that he had no idea how to wrap it.

The woman (who Naruto now took the time to notice, had a name tag that read 'Rio') laughed slightly at the flabbergasted look on his face.

"Would you like some help with that," she asked, still giggling.

Naruto had the grace to blush, "uh… yeah, I've never wrapped anything before and it really wouldn't be good if the cloth fell off in the middle of the city" he said a bit uneasily.

Rio laughed again and went to the other side of the table. Within a few minutes she had taught him how to wrap the sword, tucking in the cloth at the ends so it wouldn't come loose.

During all this time, Naruto was just marveling that he had just walked into a random store with a 7-foot blade and was being treated with nothing but kindness. He smiled at her and grabbed his newly wrapped sword.

"Thanks, Rio-san!" he called back as he left the shop.

Back in the shop, Rio sighed. She had just sold 2500 yen worth of high quality cloth for 508 yen because the boy had been cute, the owner was going to be pissed.

Naruto was happily walking down the street with his new cloth wrapped bundle. He was getting some weird looks but he had decided that looking weird was much better than looking dangerous.

With his minor panic attack over, it was just starting to sink in that he was now a self- declared missing-nin. Though the decision to leave the village left him much more relaxed, he realized that he had a lot to do. He started to make a mental checklist.

First of all, he had to change his appearance. Naruto was not so arrogant as to think he could take on the Konoha Hunter-nin, so that meant that he had to hide from them, no one could ever recognize him. He also realized with some sadness that he'd have to change his last name.

Secondly, he had to learn to use his new sword. This mostly would consist of simple Taijustsu training but Naruto also wanted to learn some of the Ninjutsu that Zabuza had used so effectively, most specifically, Kirigakure no Jutsu.

Thirdly, he had decided that Zabuza and Haku needed true gravestones, not just the wood crosses he had make with nails. This would require him to earn some money, which he obviously needed to do anyway, but it also meant staying in wave country, maybe for as long as 2 months, and that would be cutting it tight.

Fourthly and finally, he had to send some kind of message back to Konoha, he wanted to give the impression he was dead, so a suicide note would be appropriate. No one who cared about him would have problems understanding why he would kill himself, and everyone else would celebrate, so that would work out well. The only problem would be that the note would have to come from somewhere far from wave country, he would have to think about that.

Naruto continued down the street and noticed a couple of sailors staring at his forehead, cursing himself, he realized he had his forehead protector on. He rushed into a side street and shoved it into his pocket before hurrying back to Tazuna's house, annoyed at his own stupidity, but happy that he had at least some vague plans.

He opened the door and walked in to the now eerily silent house. He knew that Inari had school and Tazuna had to run his business, but it didn't make their absence any more disconcerting.

His unease was alleviated slightly when he heard the sound of water running and humming in the kitchen. He peeked his head in to see Tsunami washing the breakfast dishes. He ran upstairs to his room and climbed out the window onto the roof, he found a secluded spot facing away from the road and hid Kubikiri.

He then snuck back inside and crept into the kitchen behind Tsunami. He cleared his throat and she jumped, spinning around, only to smile upon seeing who it was.

"You've got to learn to make sound when you move, Naruto," she said shakily. "You scared me half to death."

As she was collecting herself, Naruto took a moment to think. He didn't want to lie to Tazuna's family, but he also didn't want to leave a trail. He decided not to tell too much of the truth, he was afraid of Hunter-nin more than he was afraid of Tazuna's discovering his lie.

"Ne, Tsunami-san," he tried to look embarrassed, "I kinda lost my pack on the way here, I really don't mean to impose but…"

"Stop," Tsunami cut him off and smiled at him, "Father makes enough money that he could buy a new house every week, your shopping expenses wouldn't even make a mark on the books."

"Thanks Tsunami-san, and by the way, I noticed the monument in that park near the market, do you know who made it?" Naruto was hoping she did, he had noticed the stonework was superb, probably someone he could hire to carve the two gravestones he needed.

Tsunami thought for a moment, "I think it was Soba Akira, he runs a stone and metal work shop near the north end of the city, why?"

Naruto needed an excuse, and suddenly got a great idea, "I was thinking I might stay in the city for a while, and figured I'd need to get a job. I thought that any guy who made such an amazing monument to Konoha would be the kinda guy I'd want to work for."

Once again, Naruto had to internally laugh at the irony of his words, but he had gotten what he wanted.

"So," Naruto started again, "would you be willing to come cloths shopping with me or am I on my own in this?"

Tsunami glanced around at the house, looking a bit harried. "Would it be okay if you shopped on your own, Naruto-kun, I really have a lot of work to do today" she continued apologetically as she reached into her purse, "Will 40000 yen be enough?"

Naruto was ecstatic, but tried not to show it, that much money would normally sustain him for 2 weeks, he was determined to save a large portion of it.

He realized she had been holding the money out for half a minute and took it, trying to respond. "40000 yen? That will be more than enough, but I'm not sure how long it will take and really don't know where to go, my cloths have always been pre-ordered and paid for by the Hokage"

Tsunami looked as though she were shocked at the thought of someone having never gone cloths shopping, she grabbed a pad of paper and wrote down an address, "Here, Naruto-kun, start at this shop, the lady who runs it is a friend of mine, if you don't find anything you like there, she'll help direct you"

Naruto thanked her profusely for both the money and the advice and soon found himself back out in the bustling streets.

He followed the directions on the paper, but started to get suspicious as the streets started to look familiar, he arrived at the address Tsunami had given him only to start banging his head against the nearest lamppost.

Rio sat in her chair staring at the ceiling, apart from the cute boy with the sword this morning; the day had been really dull. She had finished three minor alterations and helped an old lady pick out some socks and was now attempting to count the bumps on the stucco ceiling.

All of this essentially meant that she was more than happy for the distraction when she saw cute sword boy smashing his head against a lamppost outside the shop. She walked to the door and called out, "Hey, can I help you with anything?"

Naruto glanced around, and realizing he had once again drawn attention to himself, rushed inside the shop. "Yeah… see… I'm looking for some cloths"

Rio blinked, "This is a clothing store, care to be more specific?"

Once again Naruto found himself embarrassed, "Um, I really can't be more specific, I've never really shopped for cloths before."

Now she was interested, "Never shopped before?" Rio didn't actually find that hard to believe as she looked at his orange jumpsuit. "Did you at least have something in mind?"

Naruto having never had any choice as to what he wore found that if he thought about it and looked around the store, he did have some ideas. He wandered over to the pants and started to pull things off the rack.

"Ne, Rio-san," he said as he browsed, "do you know of any good barbers nearby, particularly any who specialize dyeing hair?"

If Rio was confused by the question, she didn't show it.

"There's an old man who uses some weird technique to make his own dyes, he can supposedly make dyes that alter the roots themselves, but I don't really believe that."

40 minutes later, Naruto had picked out what he thought were enough cloths. He had two pair of black pants, a couple white T-shirts, a dark navy vest with all the needed pockets, and new sets of sock and underwear. He was well aware that this ensemble clashed horribly with his hair, but he intended for that to be the next thing he changed.

He left the store, after giving Rio a 500-yen tip, happily holding the address of his next destination, and wearing his new cloths. He didn't wear a shirt and left the vest unzipped, letting it hang so his seal would show if he molded any chakra.

Naruto had a bit more trouble finding the barbershop because the owner had never bothered to put up address numbers and the sign was pretty small. When he did find it, he walked in with every intention of giving the owner a piece of his mind.

He took one step in and his mind ground to a halt, the old man was out of within another room but Naruto sensed what was undeniably chakra manipulation. Cursing whatever luck had caused him to run into shinobi, he started the seals for kage bunshin while backing out of the store. He only managed 2 steps before he felt a kunai at his throat, on the other end of which was a rather pissed of looking old man who had just moved faster than Naruto could follow.

After his initial moment of panic, and realizing that he wasn't dead, he looked at the man. He wasn't wearing a forehead protector, that was good, he did appear to be a barber, and that combined with the fact that he was old made Naruto sure this was the man he was looking for, the only problem was the knife still at his throat.

"So, I hear you specialize in hair dye?" Naruto asked, causing the old man to raise an eyebrow.

"Yes, you heard correctly, though if you're a customer it's generally preferred if you don't perform jutsus in the shop, I like to keep it clean." The man replied perfectly calmly, as if he weren't threatening Naruto's life.

"So then," Naruto asked, "how much do you charge for that special dye of yours? I'm looking for the permanent root altering stuff."

The man leaned over and studied Naruto's head. "7000 yen, 4000 if you have any good stories"

Naruto was confused. "Stories? What kind of stories?"

The old man's eyebrow rose higher, "you ARE a missing-nin, aren't you. I don't see a forehead protector, no village I've heard of has a uniform like that, your too slow to be an under-cover ANBU or Hunter-nin, and to top it off, you come here wanting permanent hair dye, so I think its pretty obvious."

When he put it like that, Naruto had to agree that it was pretty obvious. That didn't, however, help with the current situation, so he decided to gamble and tell the truth; he had aversions against lying to people who could a)probably detect his lie and b)kick his ass.

"Yeah, I'm a missing-nin, though I really just decided that this morning."

After a moment of thought, the old man removed the kunai and dropped it into one of the many pockets in his smock, did a 180 turn, and walked back into the back room.

"What color?" the old man called.

It took a second for Naruto to realize that the man was asking about hair dye.

"A dark maroon" he called back to the man. Naruto had thought carefully about his choice of color, he wanted something drastically different from his current blond, but not something he wouldn't like.

The man emerged holding a bottle and a bucket and gestured towards one of the barber chairs. Naruto sat as the man rubbed an odd chemical into his hair before telling him to rinse his hair in the bucket. Once that was done, the man took out a pair of scissors, started to trim and told Naruto to start a story.

The next hour was one of the most bizarre and interesting of Naruto's life as he and the man exchanged stories of their lives as shinobi. Naruto talked about the mist tecniques he wanted to learn and how he hoped to learn them, and the old man told Naruto of missions he had done in years long past. No introductions were made and no names were mentioned, neither even knew what village the other was from, but both felt as if they knew the other by the end of the cut and dye.

Naruto gave the man his money, a little salute, and walked out the door with his hair now a dark red. It would be hours later that he would find the small scroll in his pants pocket labeled 'Beginning and Intermediate Stealth Jutsus' and with the mark of the hidden mist.

Translations

Kubikiri Houcho - Head Chopping Cleaver

Nukenin – Missing-nin

Kirigakure no Jutsu – Hidden Mist no Jutsu

Kage bunshin – shadow replication (but you should know this one…)

Authors Note: It should be noted that I don't intend to have OCs be major characters in this story or have any Naruto/OC pairings. I'm also not really sure about the speed of the plot, whether its moving to fast or to slow, so feel free to add your input.


	4. Inari: Kitchen Knife Ninja!

The third morning, Naruto was awakened by the sound of mayhem on the lower floor. He had been up most of the night practicing Kirigakure no Jutsu.

He had arrived at Tazuna's just in time for dinner and had left right after, mainly because dinner had mostly consisted of the various family members ogling his new hair and cloths.

He started practicing at the waterfront, and quickly got the Jutsu to work, it was an easy technique when compared to the kage bunshin or rasengan, but controlling the mist effectively required a lot of chakra control. What this essentially meant was that he couldn't control the mist too well but he got a lot of it.

By the end of the night he had managed to perform the jutsu using only a bucket of water, but he had a feeling it would be a while before he could pull it off using just the water in the air.

More important now however, was getting breakfast. Naruto slid on his pants and went downstairs, greeted by the sounds of Tsunami fighting her usual battle to get Inari ready for school on time. Watching her, Naruto figured she would have made a pretty good kunoichi.

"INARI!" she hollered, "how many times have I told you to STOP THROWING THOSE KNIVES!"

Naruto walked into the kitchen to find himself facing a number of steak knives embedded in the wall. He idly noted that considering Inari's position relative to that of the knives, the kid had pretty good aim. Naruto had the momentary image of a future battle: _'Tenten, weapons master vs. Inari, Kitchen knife ninja!'_

He laughed to himself, causing the rooms other two occupants to finally notice him.

"Oh, good morning Naruto-kun" Tsunami greeted while simultaneously trying to get Inari to stay still and eat his breakfast. This, of course, was quickly becoming impossible once Inari noticed his idol had entered the room, so Naruto decided he better calm things down.

"Ne, Inari, you really should eat your breakfast, if you don't, you'll be late for school, and if your late for school, you'll be in even more trouble," Naruto reasoned.

Inari seemed to process this for a moment, but Naruto made sense and his desire to please both his mother and idol overcame his defiance, so he grumblingly sat down and started to eat.

Tsunami looked gratefully to Naruto before walking over and starting to yank knives out of the wall.

"Naruto-kun," she said as she pulled out another knife, "there's some breakfast for you there too, I made pancakes."

Naruto was in awe; he had never had pancakes made for him. He pretty much just eaten ramen in kono…crap…he had managed to avoid thinking about Konoha until now. He refused to feel guilty about leaving; feeling guilty led to thoughts about the people who would feel betrayed, and he refused to call what he had done betrayal. Betrayal implied that he owed something to Konoha and the people who lived there.

He continued down this thought path and Tsunami could only watch as Naruto looked more and more depressed, she then grabbed him firmly by the hand, jolting him out of his reverie, and dragged him over to the table.

"Sit," she commanded, so he sat next to Inari and waited only moments before a plate of pancakes were put in front of him. He grabbed his fork and decided to thoroughly enjoy this kind of food while he had it to eat, good food wouldn't be common in a life of traveling and hiding.

Breakfast was soon finished and Inari left for school right after. Naruto then quickly helped Tsunami clean up the breakfast dishes and the retreated to his room.

Now again left to his own devices, he snuck out on to the roof, and grabbed Kubikiri from where he hidden it the day before. Hefting the sword over his shoulder, he jumped down to the street and headed for the forest.

Upon reaching a spot that he felt was sufficiently secluded, he unwrapped the sword with a flick of his wrist, and started some basic swings, trying to get a feel for the balance of the blade.

After just an hour, Naruto realized he had some serious muscle building do to. He could lift the sword with one hand, but couldn't control it very well; his movements were choppy and predictable, particularly when he had to reverse direction.

Another hour passed and Naruto discovered another problem, his small stature made it almost impossible to do any kind of upward cut. He would need to be at least a foot taller. He pondered over this conundrum for a few minutes, and after some experimentation, found that he could jump while swinging to give him the extra height he needed.

Naruto was, as always, obsessively persistent with his training, and he was happy with his improvement by the time noon rolled around. He had decided that on the way back to Tazuna's for lunch he would stop at Soba Akira's shop. It was on the way and Naruto wanted to meet the man as soon as possible.

The shop was easy enough to find, and appeared to be just a mid-sized building with a sign out front announcing the place as 'Soba's Stone and Metal Workshop'. Naruto jumped on to the roof and hid Kubikiri, he didn't want to scare the man. He jumped back down and noticed that the front door was held open with a brick, so he just walked in.

Directly in front of him was a rather messy desk, covered in papers and a bell with a label that said 'Ring for Service.' Behind the desk the room opened up into a cement-floored workshop covered in tools Naruto couldn't name as well as pieces of stone and metal in various stages of carving. Naruto shrugged and rung the bell. A sharp 'DING!' reverberated through the building and Naruto heard some shuffling.

A man in his late 20s or early 30s emerged from the back of the shop wearing a leather apron. He seemed a little rough around the edges, but his brown hair was neatly cut and he had an air of tidiness.

"Can I help you?" he asked Naruto with a salesman's smile.

"Maybe," Naruto cautiously replied. "I need a two gravestones for dome friends of mine but don't have too much money, I was wondering if maybe I could help you out in the shop as payment?"

Soba looked skeptical, "work here as payment? Do you have any experience with stone or metal working?"

"Something like that," Naruto replied with a grin, "take me to an block that you need a lot of stone removed from and I'll show you."

Akira led him to a block of stone 5 feet high, with lines already drawn to show where stone had to be cut away. Naruto held out his hand and started to mold his chakra in the familiar swirling pattern.

He opened the floodgates, pouring chakra into the now reasonably sized vortex in his hand.

"RASENGAN!" he called as he slammed the orb into the stone block. It took a little less than 30 seconds to grind away most of the unneeded stone. He turned to Akira who was mumbling to himself with a dumb smile on his face, something about increasing production by 50.

Akira soon snapped out of it and grabbed hold of Naruto's arm, "I'll pay you 2000 yen an hour, when can you start?" he asked excitedly.

"Right now," Naruto replied with his trademark fox grin. (He would later realize that with his new look, said grin made him look frightening rather than cute, but Akira appeared mostly unfazed)

Naruto was expecting requests to use the rasengan again, what he got instead was a 2½ hour lesson about every tool a carver could ever need and the various ways to use them. Though Naruto was impatient, his respect for the man went up a few notches. He was containing his excitement and making sure Naruto knew what he was doing before he unleashed him on the shop. Akira himself mentioned an experience he had had proving just how dangerous sandpaper could be.

By the time Naruto's comprehensive tour of the shop was finished, then sun had set and Naruto realized that he had missed lunch AGAIN. It was starting to become a habit with him. It was like fate, every time lunch came around something important would come up that would end up taking forever, and here he was, starving by the end of the day.

He looked at Akira only to realize that the man had been talking to him while he was pondering his hunger. Having no idea what had been said, Naruto just nodded vigorously, which seemed to be the correct response.

"So, you'll start work when tomorrow?" Akira asked.

Naruto thought for a minute, "I'll be here at noon, I'm busy in the morning so I'll work from 1:00 to 6:00. Sound good?"

Akira nodded, "Yes, that should work nicely. We'll also need to discuss the details of your order."

Naruto nodded as he turned to leave, "Ok then Akira-san, 1:00 it is."

Akira grinned as the boy ran off into the distance, that kids weird energy ball thing would cut his production time in half…he was already drooling. Naruto waited until Akira had turned and gone into the shop before doubling back to pick up Kubikiri, it wouldn't be good to forget it.

Naruto ran all the way home (as he was now temporarily calling Tazuna's house). The day had gone as well as he could have hoped and better. He now had a job that was both training AND paid better than being a ninja ever had. He could even move his plans foreword, maybe as much as 3 weeks. Between the 18000 yen he had left over from shopping and a months salary at 10000 yen a day, he would be set for quite some time.

Naruto jumped up to the roof, hid Kubikiri, slipped down to his window and climbed inside. He figured he had 40 minutes before supper and there was something he needed to do.

He sat on his bed and took his forehead protector out of his pocket. For the second time that day, he gathered a chakra swirl in his right hand and then carefully used his rasengan to grind off the symbol of the hidden leaf. He grabbed a kunai out of his holster and, even more carefully, carved in two kanji.

He tied it back around his head and went into the bathroom to admire his work. His forehead protector now read 'Akuma Shinkirou' (Demonic Mirage).

Naruto had thought a lot about what he was going to do about his forehead protector. Leaving it in its original state would attract attention he didn't want from the leaf, but it was what told the world he was a shinobi, and he had no intention of settling somewhere and finding some menial job.

He had finally decided that he would try to build a reputation on his own merits as a shinobi without loyalty to a village, but doing that would require a distinctive look, and he would have to eliminate everything inside him that could be recognized as Uzumaki Naruto.

It was in that moment, as he examined and pondered his almost unrecognizable appearance in the mirror, that Uzumaki Naruto died, and Fushichou Naruto was born.

It wasn't simply a decision to change a name, because Fushichou had to be everything Uzumaki wasn't. Normal people would consider this as pretending to be someone your not, but for Naruto, it was quite the opposite. He would have to learn to NOT to force himself to act a certain way, and he knew it would take a while.

He started to practice his facial expressions in the mirror. The first thing he tried was smiling, which he soon found he had to be careful of. A full-blown smile showed off his longer and sharper than normal canines, and although they were great for intimidation, not so good for casual conversation.

He tried a scowl or two, and everything seemed okay there, though it was uncomfortable to scowl for more than a few seconds. Naruto continued on like this until suppertime, practicing various expressions.

This wouldn't have been a problem if Inari hadn't opened the door to call him to dinner during his attempting of the 'Nice Guy' pose. He had tried to pretend he had just been examining his thumb, but Inari had kept giving him those odd looks all through the meal.

Naruto announced during dinner that he had gotten work at Soba's shop to the surprise of all, he didn't go into details, just said that Akira had found a use for some of his 'unique' skills. Apart from his announcement, supper was uneventful, as Naruto had thankfully remembered to remove his forehead protector before coming down.

Naruto again quickly escaped to his room, as he wanted to get to bed early and had one more thing to do. He knew what being a missing-nin could do to someone, and so he needed rules for himself, a new ninja way.

He sat down with a piece of paper and started to write:

Never leave a mission uncompleted _(He figured this one was a given, but it felt good to write)_

Never do a mission because you are told or begged to _(This was important, as so many missions were a waste of time and he couldn't afford to work on pity)_

Never go into a situation without knowing the way out _(This was a rule he felt too many shinobi had died for forgetting)_

Never cut twice _(Naruto thought of this as an analogy for life, always be sure to succeed on the first try because you may not get a second)_

Naruto looked at his list with satisfaction before folding it and sliding it into the slit in his forehead-protector cloth where he had only a short time ago hidden ramen tickets. He then changed and jumped into bed.

As he lay there, staring at the ceiling, he reflected on how much his life had changed in a mere 7 days. It had been 2 weeks since he had stumbled into Konoha covered in blood, wasting his tears because the bastard had an unhealthy familial obsession. He had wasted a week moping about his stupid teammates, and in that same amount of time, he had forever changed his life for the better.

That night, for the first time in his life, Naruto fell asleep with no fear as to what the next day would bring.

Authors Notes: Okay…that took a bit longer than I thought, but I think it came out well.

Translation Notes:

Fushichou – Phoenix, a mystical fire bird that burns itself to death and is then reborn from the ashes

Akuma Shinkirou – Demonic Mirage

Kirigakure no Jutsu – Hidden Mist Technique

Next chapter: Time speeds up and the sand siblings make an appearance


	5. Sibling Bonding

Special Disclaimer: UPS and cool-aid are owned by whoever owns them. Not me.

It was not a good morning to be a tree. Naruto had now been in wave country a total of 15 days. After met Akira, his days were busy. He would get up, train in the forest with Kubikiri and his new jutsus, break for lunch, go to work, arrive home just in time for supper, and it now being at least 7:00, he had a couple hours of free time (which he usually spent training anyway) before he had to get to bed.

This had gone well until 2 days before when Naruto realized he needed to send his message to Konoha soon or they would come and look for him. The problem was that he needed to send it in a way that it couldn't be traced back to wave country, he knew that if enough effort was spent, someone would remember him and his story would be blown.

He needed the Konoha records to show that he had killed himself due to emotional trauma somewhere far away from wave, so he had come up with what he thought was a very clever plan. He had mailed his letter the day before and had been going insane with worry for the last 24 hours, he knew there were a million things that could go wrong.

Unfortunately for the forest, the only way Naruto had found to vent his anxiety was to train with even more intensity, and the trees were covered in large slash marks. On the positive side, he had improved greatly and could now handle Kubikiri one-handed without looking like an idiot.

Naruto practiced for another 15 more minutes before collapsing into the grass and staring at the sky, breathing heavily and letting his mind wander.

It was amazing how so little time could change ones perspective so much. Naruto had always lived by hating those who killed without reason, and devoting his life to fighting against them, without ever realizing he was being manipulated.

What had he thought the ANBU had been doing his whole life?

Orochimaru had tried to destroy the leaf and assassinated Sandaime Hokage, but how many innocents had been killed in wars and skirmishes Konoha had started? How many assassinations were performed by Leaf shinobi in a month? A week? A day?

Uchiha Itachi had killed his whole clan just to measure and improve himself. But the Hyuuga had been regularly enslaving and killing each other for as long as village history recorded, and they were among the most respected of the Leaf clans.

If he added himself, he had the group of people that Konoha despised above all others, and there was only one thing that they had in common. It wasn't their viciousness, their cruelty, or even whom they killed. It was because they had left the village.

Nukenins were hunted because once someone escaped the grasp of loyalty their village had, they realized that all shinobi were the same. That their beloved village did the same things they were told made their enemies evil.

Naruto glanced at the sun and realized with a start that he would be late for work. He leaped to his feat, his profound thoughts momentarily forgotten as he ran back towards the city.

_(Later that day in the Village of the Hidden Sand)_

Kankuro very slowly and very carefully examined the house he shared with his siblings. Temari had a date; he knew this meant she wouldn't be home until at least midnight, more likely one or two. Gaara was of doing whatever it was that Gaara did, no one had ever bothered to figure out what that was, but he was never around.

Kankuro giggled with delight, it was rare for him to have the house all to himself. He was just building up to full fledged maniacal laughter when the doorbell rang. Kankuro froze, he hadn't even known they'd had a doorbell, if Temari forgot her key and couldn't get in she just broke the door down, and Gaara teleported with his sand.

Kankuro opened the door to be confronted by a rather nervous looking man in brown wearing a UPS hat. He opened the door a bit further; a worker of the United Postal Service meant a letter had been addressed to someone in his house. It was an unprecedented event.

Kankuro opened the door all the way and looked at the man expectantly.

"I..I..I ha..hav..have a ," the man grew more confident as he continued, "p..package for a 'Mr. Gaara of the Desert', is he here?" the man asked, obviously hoping he wasn't.

Kankuro, for one of the few times in his life, was speechless. It took him a moment to realize the man wanted a reply. Gaara was upstairs, but this man didn't need to know that, Kankuro didn't want urine on the front stairs.

"No, but I'll make sure he gets it," Kankuro said with a fake smile. The man ran away from the house and Kankuro closed the door…what had he been doing again? A grin lit up his face, now he remembered.

He tossed Gaara's letter on the table and ran to his room, again checking that the coast was clear, he withdrew a DVD case from under his mattress and grinned stupidly over the title:

'Icha Icha Paradise: The Motion Picture'

It was one of his favourite movies; he knew it was dumb, but loved it at the same time. But he rarely dared watch it with Temari always waiting for an excuse to beat him senseless.

He skipped down the stairs and tossed some popcorn into the microwave, waited impatiently while it cooked and dashed to the living room and dove onto the couch.

The movie had only been on a couple of minutes when Kankuro felt a presence behind him. He felt every muscle in his body tighten as Gaara calmly walked into his field of vision, over to the Recliner next to the couch and, setting his gourd on the floor, sat down.

Not entirely understanding what was going on but not willing to waste his Temari-free time, he started the movie again. Kankuro was normally fond of commenting on the stupidity of various characters, but felt insecure with Gaara there. This feeling was quickly alleviated however.

"Don't drink the purple liquid just because it's sitting there, have your brains leaked out of your head, or are you just a stupid pathetic waste of life!" Gaara yelled.

Kankuro looked at his little brother as if he had grown another head (which honestly, would have surprised Kankuro less). Gaara was yelling at the TV, at a porn movie, at HIS porn movie. The next time an appropriate scene cut in, Gaara was about to speak but Kankuro cut him off.

"Why would anyone with a FRACTION of a SHRED of a half dead MONKEY's brain hit the big red button that says DO NOT PUSH!"

The two looked at each other, both with a little respect in their eyes. This went on for about the next thirty minutes, when disaster struck.

The two heard the sound of the doorknob turning and barely had time to look before a slightly dirty and very pissed looking Temari stomped into the room. She was yelling something about stupid boys and strawberry cool-aid. She stormed over to the couch and sat down, shoving Kankuro over.

It wasn't until a few moments later, during a break in her cursing, that she noticed what was playing on the TV. A man and a woman were in the front seat of a car, entangled in a rather odd position while the man navigated the car through a sandstorm with his feet.

The room went dead silent, except for the squeaking and moaning coming from the TV.

Temari's eyes widened, "That position cannot be physically possible".

It was then that the sand siblings found the first thing they had in common, commenting on dumb movies. It was the best time they had ever spent together. There was a brief interlude where Kankuro paused the movie to, with the help of some life sized sand models courtesy of Gaara, prove that the earlier mentioned position was in fact possible, if extremely painful.

As the movie ended, the three realized that they had just enjoyed a whole 2 hours of ach others company, and were actually sad that the movie was over. That was until Gaara reached into his gourd and tossed another DVD to Kankuro. This one was 'Icha Icha Paradise 2: Revenge of the Squid'. Kankuro looked at his brother in wonder.

"This isn't supposed to come out for another month…why do you have this!" Kankuro demanded to know.

Gaara shrugged and gestured to the still rolling credits of the first movie:

Special Effects Team

Visual Effects: Kurosaki Ichigo

Creature Effects: Abarai Renji

Sandstorm and Weather Effects: Gaara of the Desert

The two elder siblings stared at their younger brother until he raised a nonexistent eyebrow at them and gestured towards the machine.

It was well past 1:00 when the second movie finished and they were all heading off to bed, on the way up, Gaara noticed a large envelope on the table, and was surprised to see it addressed to him. He took it upstairs and ripped it open to find a second envelope and a note:

_Dear Gaara_

_This may seem a bit weird to you, but its really important that you follow the instructions in this letter, if I ever see you again, I'll tell you why. _

_Whatever day tomorrow is, I need you to use henge to transform into me. Then take the letter in the envelope I sent to the courier and have it sent straight to the office of the Hokage, then go into the desert, release the henge, and go back to whatever it is you do._

_In a few weeks, people will come by asking about me. Tell them you only met me once, and that we talked about hate and the pain of life and other Angsty stuff. Tell them I then disappeared into the desert without a trace._

_ I owe you big time_

_ Naruto_

At the bottom of the letter was a scribbled drawing of a stick figure with fox whiskers.

Gaara woke up the next day and did what Naruto asked, he really didn't have anything better to do, and figured Naruto wouldn't ask if it wasn't important. It also gave him something to do for a few weeks; he needed to practice his angst.

_(Now, back to Wave Country)_

2 more days had past and Naruto was mostly done worrying about the letter, but in its stead got something else to worry about.

He had overlooked one thing in his disguise: his eyes. Contrasted to the rest of his dark outfit, his eyes were a piercing shade of blue, and very recognizable. The thing was, he thought knew of a way to change his eye color, but it would require a great deal of research, be very dangerous, and guarantee that he would never be allowed in Konoha again.

He did a double take and realized that he really didn't have a problem with any of those. He was really starting to like being a nukenin.

Now having spent 2½ weeks in Wave country, Naruto started to think about departure plans. Akira had offered to make the two gravestones free of charge and Naruto had set them in place the day before. He had been making money by the bucket load, and figured he wouldn't need to start taking missions for a while, which was good.

Naruto had been spending more and more time in the forest, he had gained enough control to make Kirigakure no Jutsu a powerful if not perfect skill and was improving his sword technique every day.

It was therein that the problem lay. The more Naruto trained, the more he realized that he had many things to work on:

His sword was in need of repair, his working with Akira had taught him a thing or two about metal, and the sword had been old when Zabuza had owned it. He would have to find a master sword smith if he wanted a good job done on a sword this unique, most smiths, even good ones, just dealt with the basic swords; katanas, ninja-tos, wakizashis, etc.

His second problem was that training his body wasn't enough. He feared the first time he fought it would become painfully obvious that 3 weeks of experimentation was no match for a 200 year old sword style. He needed to learn how to fight with his sword, not just swing it.

He figured the first one was more important, because he still had his old jutsus and could fight barehanded, but sword experience was useless if your sword was broken.

Now hoping to leave wave country in less than ten days, Naruto threw himself into his training even more, and added into his daily schedule an hour at the local library. It wasn't as extensive as Konoha's, but Naruto found enough books on seals to give him a pretty good idea of what he would have to do to change his eye color. It wouldn't be particularly complex, just insanely dangerous. Naruto made a note to test this particular jutsu somewhere far away from…well…anything.

With his having roughly planned his departure date, time sped by even faster. Before he knew it, his fourth week in wave country was coming to and end. Today was Friday and Naruto planned to leave this Sunday. That meant today would be his last day working for Akira, and Naruto was surprised to find that he would miss the man.

As today was his last day, he felt there was a question to ask, but he wasn't quite sure how to do it. Naruto had been careful to never give any indication as to why he was here, and for all Akira knew, rasengan could be a beginning level jutsu.

Naruto approached what passed for his boss's office and fidgeted for a moment.

Akira glanced up, "is there something I can help you with, Naruto?" he asked.

"Yeah… I've already told you that I'm leaving Sunday, but before I go, I need you to promise never to repeat any of this and answer a question without asking why."

Akira gave him an odd look, but nodded.

"I want to know who the best sword smith on he continent is, and where I could probably find him." Naruto let out a breath. If Konoha hunter-nin were given the answer to this question and knew he had asked it, he would be thoroughly screwed.

Then, to Naruto's surprise, Akira laughed.

"THAT'S what you wanted to ask! I was afraid there for a second. It's really an easy question; Kiran is by far the best. No one knows his last name, but he was the youngest of three brothers, all of whom were forced to flee from the Hidden Mist when the oldest went rogue. Kiran himself made 4 of the seven legendary mist swords, and the middle brother, now dead, made the other 3. It's quite a well known tale in the metal-working community, Kiran is somewhat of an idol."

Akira took a breath and looked uncertain for a moment.

"Finding him may be more difficult, he was last known to have taken shelter in another village in the north. Some claim a place called the 'Village of the Hidden Sound', but I don't honestly believe such a place exists, so all I can tell you is go north."

It was at this point that Naruto stopped listening. The fates, he decided, had a very twisted sense of humour.

Naruto waved goodbye to the man who had been his boss and friend for the better part of a month and headed straight home. He hadn't told Tazuna of his plans to leave and didn't intend to. Naruto would be gone long before sunrise the next morning, and would leave an apologetic note, claiming that a top-secret mission required his presence immediately. A PS reminded the family not to admit to anyone that he had been there, not even his own teamates.

Naruto went to sleep that night with a sense of trepidation. Now having a solution (though a potentially unpleasant one) to the dilemma of how to repair Kubikiri Houcho, he had set his sights on how he might improve his proficiency with it.

A regular sword master could teach him some basic forms, but Zabuza had not needed a style, he had simply fought with the sword as an extension of his body, and for Naruto to have any less skill would be an insult to the sword and its previous master.

Naruto needed to learn from someone who knew and understood how fight with a weapon of this size. They would have to have no associations with any hidden village friendly to Konoha, and ideally, they would also know the various water jutsus that complemented the use of such huge weapons.

The longer Naruto thought about this, the more it disturbed him. The problem wasn't that he didn't know anyone who fit these criteria; the problem was that he did.

Bonus

Naruto's New Look: Stealthy and Stylish

Hair: Maroon

Vest: Navy

Pants: Black

Why these three colors you ask? All three are very distinctive in light; the hair looks red, the vest blue, and the pants black. But when night rolls around or visibility gets bad (say, in thick mist), all the colors just look dark.

Anyone describing Naruto to an authority or a hunter-nin would describe the cloths as dark or black. People tend to make a noticeable mistake in these situations, when told: "His cloths were dark", they tend to automatically assume the cloths were all the same color.

The next obvious question is: 'Why the vest with no shirt underneath?' to which the answer is also quite simple. Fighting with an 80-pound sword requires mobility, and if one isn't going to wear any armor, why bother with a shirt? The ninja vest is really a requirement, but anything else is just something to get in the way. (It should be noted that Zabuza never wore anything on his upper body, but he had Haku to carry all the emergency supplies) The open vest also allows his seal to show, which adds to his intimidation.

Authors Note:

I updated the summary today, and decided on an eventual Naruto/Temari pairing. Why? Because the story seems headed in that direction. Though don't expect anything for a couple chapters at least.

My questions of the day are: How have I been doing at balancing humor and drama/angst AND Do you think I should change my genre, add another, or change it and add a new one

As always, I appreciate your input.

I'm glad that I seem to be getting positive feedback so far, but I'm afraid I'll have to disappoint those who want Sakura bashing for a few chapters.

I honestly am pretty indifferent to Sakura as a character, but she regularly treats Naruto like crap, and therefore serves a certain purpose in this story as the main person who drove him away.

The random (and hopefully funny) interlude with the sand siblings wasn't really something I planned; I just found that I really enjoy writing them. The idea originally spawned from my ponderings over what Gaara did in his spare time.

Just as a final note with regards to Naruto's issue about his eyes, for the sake of argument, contacts don't exist.

Translation Notes

Kirigakure no Jutsu – Hidden Mist Technique

Kubikiri Houcho - Head Chopping Cleaver

Nukenin – Missing-nin


	6. Collecting rent

Review Questions Answered:

Twilight Canel

Que: what happened to Naruto's whisker marks?

Ans: He still has them, but he can't really do anything about them, genjutsu is too risky. Also worth noting is that they fit his new image better than his eyes do. (To demonstrate this, imagine Zabuza in his coolest pose, and then imagine he suddenly has bright innocent blue eyes)

Que: wouldn't the seal alert people(most certainly Hidden Leaf nins) that they were fighting somebody who had something sealed within them?

Ans: If one looks at the series, very few of the people who have seals actually have something sealed in them, I think Naruto is the only one, in fact. Most seals found on shinobi are there to give them some crazy power. It should also be noted that very few people in Konoha have ever seen Naruto's seal, most probably couldn't tell it from a curse seal.

Anonymous

Que: Why hasn't there been any mention of Kyuubi yet?

Ans: Because Kyuubi hasn't had a reason to be in the story yet, that changes in this chapter

Que: is Naruto going to join the Akatsuki?

Ans: No

Blazer-6

Que: Also, you do realize that Naruto's only twelve right?

Ans: Naruto's age has been somewhat of a conundrum for me. As far as I know, the series never mentions many details on how much time passes, and he was somwhere in his 12th year at the start of the series, so when he tries to retrieve Sasuke he could be anywhere from 12 to 14. Either way, for the sake of this story, assume he's now 14.

Virgil

Que: You mention the Kirigakure no Jutsu and that Naruto practices it...it's not possible since it's a village specific jutsu and you'd have to be from Mist Village to know it, which Naruto obviously isn't.

Ans: I apologize for being unclear; the scroll the old barber hid in Naruto's pocket (see end of chap 3) contained Mist stealth jutsus, one of which was Kirigakure no jutsu

Azereath

Que: naruto seems a bit to sure that everyone would forget about him, i mean what about iruka

Ans: Naruto doesn't think Iruka will forget him, but isn't willing to put up with the village just for the sake of the few people who tolerate him.

Translation notes:

Shikifuujin Kai - Dead Demon Imprisonment Release

Kirigakure no Jutsu – Hidden Mist Technique

Kubikiri Houcho - Head Chopping Cleaver

Authors Note: I hope that answers any questions anyone had. This chapter is short and mainly getting things out of the way to set the stage for the next chapter, where we finally see some action. And yes, the notes are at the top today just to make you wonder about the first translation note.

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The next morning, Naruto woke up at 3:00 am, he carefully and quietly packed his few possessions into a small duffle bag Tazuna had given him to keep his clothes in. He zipped it up and crept downstairs. He left his note sitting on the kitchen table, where Tazuna would undoubtedly find it when he came down for his morning tea. 

Saying a silent goodbye to the house and the people who lived there, he walked out of the house, closing the door behind him. Kubikiri Houcho was, as always, exactly where Naruto had left it on the roof. Naruto had started to feel more comfortable with the sword nearby and felt nervous when it wasn't within his range of perception.

Naruto stood atop the house and looked around at his surroundings. He imagined all the sleeping citizens of wave country, completely oblivious to the one who would be leaving them tonight. Naruto jumped down from the roof and started to run. He ran out of the city into the forest much as he had run from another city but a short month ago. But there was a difference. As he had fled Konoha, he had been plagued by memories of the past.

But this time, as he left the still sleeping port city behind him, his thoughts were on the future.

As the morning plodded on, Naruto continued to run through the forest. He was now in Fire Country, and probably would be for quite some time. It was the only direct land route from Wave to Sound and Naruto wasn't good with ships.

Going the most direct way would take him within 40 miles of Konoha, but Naruto wasn't prepared to be that cocky yet, so he had planned a slightly out of the way route that would keep him a safe distance away.

As the sun rose towards the peak of its path and noon approached, Naruto realized he'd been stalling long enough. After all, it had been hours since he had seen any signs of human life.

Steeling his resolve, he set down his bag and sword on he ground near a particularly tall tree and ran another minute through the forest. Sweaty and out of breath, but by no means out of stamina, Naruto sought to calm himself. He was about to attempt an experimental jutsu, and wanted to at least be calm so he didn't make any mistakes.

He closed his eyes and calmed his spirit.

His eyes shot open and in one fluid motion, he bit his thumb and streaked a line of blood down the seal on his belly. He moved his hands faster than the normal human eye could track. There were 37 hand seals.

He finished on the dragon seal, and called out to the empty forest:

"Shikifuujin KAI!"

He found himself in the familiar landscape of his cave-like mind. He had been expecting this, but it unnerved him nonetheless, particularly considering what he was expecting at the end of the tunnel. He walked into the large room the held the Kyuubi's cage. The jutsu had worked and he had used enough chakra.

The evidence of this was that is was flying around the room, forming a swirling vortex of blue energy, and as he watched, the seal holding Kyuubi in his cage started to glow and stretch and the great iron doors started to open.

"**What are you doing, brat!" **Kyuubi's voice called, sounding as confused as Naruto had ever heard Kyuubi sound.

The seal stretched more and more and the gates opened wider and wider, the demon figured he had to be suffering some kind of mental breakdown, but wasn't willing to let opportunity escape. As soon as the gates were open enough, Kyuubi stuck a paw through the gap and sent it hurling towards Naruto, hoping to crush his mind and take over the body.

Naruto saw the huge clawed appendage coming towards him and it took every ounce of his will power to wait as long as he did. As the claw was fractions of a second away from making his body into a demon puppet, Naruto released the jutsu.

The blue chakra in the room immediately vanished. The seal lost its glow and the gates slammed shut, cleanly severing the front right leg of the Kyuubi, which quickly disintegrated into a wave of red chakra that washed over him. Naruto was sucked from his mind world with the screams of the demon following him.

Naruto awoke in the real world to discover a new meaning for the word 'pain'. It felt like every muscle and bone in his body was both expanding and contracting at the same time as a hurricane of red chakra tore apart the surrounding area of forest

After about a minute, the chakra vanished until Naruto was just left lying on the grass, staring at clouds. He slowly drifted off to sleep thinking, _"For a demon thousands of years old, that fox is pretty stupid"_

Naruto awoke to find the sun rising, and realized he had slept for 18 hours. He eagerly examined his body, and was disappointed when he saw that the changes had been minor. He had gained a bit of muscle mass, and grown maybe 3 inches. He also molded some chakra and found that he had gained some extra reserves of that as well.

Naruto maintained his slightly depressed state all the way to the location of his stash, because it as then that he saw his reflection in Kubikiri's blade. His eyes were slightly slitted and had become a bit more angular. They had lost their innocent blue shade and had turned to the red normally reserved for when he went into one of his insane rages.

Naruto had figured some time ago that channeling insane amounts of Kyuubi's chakra might enhance his body, but he had needed a way to get that much. It was then that he had come upon the idea of the shikifuujin kai. It had stood to reason, that since jutsus like the shadow bind could be broken with raw chakra, it would also be possible to, if temporarily, bend the seal, and trick the Kyuubi exactly as he had done.

Many months of research later, Naruto had ditched the idea; he had realized that taking power from the Kyuubi might very well give the villagers the excuse they needed to kill him. In retrospect, he had been right to ditch the jutsu then, but he was glad he had done the research.

All in all, his experimental jutsu was a success. He was sure Kyuubi would never fall for the same trick again, but his eye change alone was worth it. Eye color was mostly impossible to change without genjutsu, so he might even be able to bluff his way out of a situation where he had already been recognized.

Satisfied and refreshed from his long nap, Naruto checked his map and compass before bounding off through the forest.

_(Meanwhile, in Konoha)_

The fifth hokage lay on her desk, with her eyes staring blankly off into empty space. Her face was soaked with tears, as was the letter she clutched desperately in her right hand. She had sent a squad of Anbu to the sand the day before, despite the protest of the whole council, and had spent every moment since dreading their report.

She refused to believe that Naruto was dead by his own hand, he had always had such an unbreakable spiritBut as the days passed, Tsunade started to remember things. Images of him being jeered at by shopkepers. Hit by children throwing rotten fruit. Screamed at by parents for asking to play with their child. All these things had also been part of Naruto's past. And Tsunade herself wasn't sure if she could handle that kind of treatment for 13 years.

She had ben crying for 2 days, but with these thoughts and memories haunting her, she started to convert her sadness to anger. However she looked at it, this whole mess was Orochimaru's fault. He had been the one to steal Sasuke from the village and shatter Naruto's frail trust.

The more she thought about it, the angrier she got. Until she decided that if those Anbu came back confirming the death of her third precious person, she would burn the sound to the ground if she had to do it with her oen 2 hands.

Far away, a green necklace lay forgotten in the bottom of Naruto's duffle bag.


	7. Don't touch the Weasel's Pocky

Special Disclaimer and note: I do not own Pocky, for those of you who don't know what Pocky is, it's a wafer stick dipped in chocolate or some other gooey coating, there are about 200 flavors.

Translation notes:

Tenken – Heavenly Sword

Kirigakure no Jutsu – Hidden Mist Technique

Kubikiri Houcho - Head Chopping Cleaver

Nukenin – Missing-nin

Fushichou – Phoenix

Naruto sat in the forest rubbing his feet. His boots were lying next to him on the forest floor and he glared menacingly at them. He had only been running a couple hours when his feet had started to sting, and a short time later he couldn't run anymore.

He quickly discovered the problem: after bathing in demonic chakra, his feet had gotten larger. Not by any significant amount, only a few fractions of an inch, but it was enough to make his boots pinch. Naruto had expected a slight body size increase, he just hadn't accounted for all the problems it would cause.

This, he decided, was the less glamorous side of transformation jutsus. A quick once over had also shown that he would need to have the hems on his pants let out as they hung a good inch and a bit above his ankles, showing off skin. He had a sudden moment of pity for Kimimaro; the poor guy must have spent all his money on fixing holes in his clothing.

This line of thought was amusing, but didn't help Naruto decide what to do about his boots; he was 70 miles from the nearest town. He continued to rub his foot, trying to get the blood circulation again.

After 10 minutes or so, an idea finally came to him; he took a kunai out of his holster and started hacking at one of his boots. In 3 minutes, he had a usable if not particularly good-looking pair of what he thought of as Ninja sandals. He had really just cut the top off his boots and used the extra material to tie his feet into the bottoms.

Now again mobile, Naruto got to his feet, picked up his bag and sword and started off through the forest.

Some 50 miles north of Naruto's current position, Uchiha Itachi was shopping for Pocky. He stood among the many flavors and tried vainly to decide.

It was a little known fact that the most deadly nukenin in Konoha history had an obsession with the chocolaty snack. He had eaten 3 packs a day for years and had only stopped eating them in combat when a group of grass jounin had burst out laughing as he happily munched. Needless to say, he continued to munch as he ripped them to shreds, but after that decided to keep eating and fighting separate.

He had abstained from his Akatsuki cloak today and had a pencil carefully tucked behind his ear. He and his partner had decided long ago that Itachi was the one who handled shopping and Kisame was the one who managed their money. That way, Itachi got what he wanted and his partner could decide how much of it he got. His Pocky limit for the week was 15 boxes.

He sat down in the aisle and let his eyes roam over the various shelves, he had to choose carefully, but he was patient, and he knew that the answers would come to him in time.

Naruto looked at the sun, he had made good progress. He was hoping to get out of Fire Country as fast as he could and hadn't even stopped to get new shoes in the last town he had passed through, though this could also be partly attributed to the fact that he didn't want anyone to see him.

He continued to run and pondered his high endurance. Weeks of training all morning and Rasengan-ing all afternoon had given him a substantial boost to his stamina, and he was managing the weight of Kubikiri Houcho better every day. Proof of this was that he had been running most of the morning and still had some energy left.

Stopping at the base of a tree for a short breather, Naruto tried to decide what he would actually do when he arrived at the Village of the Hidden Sound, he had serious doubts about just walking up to the gates knocking. He had no intention of joining the Sound, so he would need to find another way in, and knowing Orochimaru, he would have to give something up in exchange for what he wanted.

He continued to ponder, completely unaware of the presence far above him in the treetops.

Hoshigaki Kisame stared down at the oblivious boy. This was undoubtedly the source of the weird chakra surge Samehada had picked up the day before, but to find him with Kubikiri Houcho! Kisame would have normally immediately killed anyone who would dare take one of the 7 mist Tenken as his own, but Samehada had given some very odd results about his chakra.

Kisame never forgot the feel of a person's chakra. Ever. This boy, alone in the wilderness, with a new forehead protector, looking completely different AND carrying Azusa's sword was most definitely the Kyuubi brat.

Kisame could immediately tell had had left his village, if not for his chakra, he would never have recognized the boy. He tried to think of what could draw him out here, the only thing in the direction he was traveling was hidden sound. He looked at the sword again and his eyes widened.

The boy must have gotten the sword recently, Kisame had made a note to know where it was and last he had heard it was marking the Demon's grave. It made perfect sense, the sword was in need of repair, and so the brat would obviously need someone to fix it.

A plan was starting to form in Kisame's mind, but for it to work, the boy would have to know how to handle his weapon.

He glanced at the sun. Considering the distance to the store and the 15 box of Pocky limit, Kisame figured he had about 2 hours before Itachi got back. Plenty of time.

His hands flashed through seals and he whispered: _"Kirigakure No Jutsu"_

Naruto was just getting ready to start on his way again when he noticed the mist starting to fill the area, immediately dropping his bag, he dove into the bushes, uncovering Kubikiri as he ran through the brush.

The mist grew thicker and Naruto jumped into a tree to try to get a better view of the area. He was trying to figure out who could be doing this, and the only answer he could come up with was Mist hunter-nin, but that made no sense. His thoughts were quickly interrupted as is instincts screamed at him. He leapt off the branch right as it exploded.

Two phantoms did a dance of destruction through the forest. A slight disturbance in the mist would be the only warning, and they'd be at each other, exchanging blows faster than the normal human eye could follow, before both vanishing back into the mist.

The air was dead silent; neither fighter made a sound as they silently stalked one another. Both knew there was no time for attempting other jutsus, the second one of them was off guard, the other would strike.

Still somewhere far away, Itachi was reaching for his 9th box of Pocky when he quickly withdrew his hand, he couldn't allow himself to be hasty in his choice.

Naruto cursed silently as he looked out into the impenetrable fog. He knew he had the disadvantage, Kisame had a better understanding of Kirigakure no Jutsu, and so Naruto was fighting blind on pure instinct. And then there was the small issue of Kisame being a jounin. He was using every ounce of strength and flexibility he had just to avoid Samehada,

But then again, he shouldn't be able to avoid Samehada at all. He ran through the forest trying to figure this out, Kisame was holding back, he knew it, but why? And for that matter, why was the shark man here in the first place?

Naruto had no more time for thought as Samehada came hurling out of the mist. He jumped over where he knew Kisame was standing and twisted in midair, bringing Kubikiri around to block the inevitable follow up strike. But it never came.

Realizing he'd been tricked, Naruto tried to compensate, but he was off balance and landed poorly. The last thing he felt was an impact on his left arm.

The mist slowly cleared as Kisame looked thoughtfully at the unconscious boy. The fight had taken less than 2 minutes, and in that time, Naruto had demonstrated that he had absolutely no idea how to use his sword, and that was exactly why Kisame had been so impressed. The brat had held him a bay for 2 minutes, and even with Kisame holding back more than 2/3 of his power, that was still quite a feat.

Sighing, he picked up the boy and slung him over his shoulder before stooping to pick up Kubikiri. Itachi wasn't going to be happy about this, so Kisame had a feeling that he would have to double next weeks Pocky budget.

Naruto's first thought as he started to come around was that he must be in heaven, because his nose was full of the smell of fresh ramen. Just as he was opening his eyes, however, the ramen was taken away.

"Wake up, brat" Kisame said impatiently, "we need to have a little talk before Itachi gets back"

Naruto was suddenly fully awake and examining his surroundings. He was relieved to see both Kubikiri and his bag in good condition. He was less pleased, however, with being tied to a tree and towered over by an annoying shark man. He would later think up many things he could have said at this moment, but settled for he first thing that came to mind.

"Why aren't I dead?" Naruto asked.

Kisame didn't even miss a beat, "because I need to ask you some things," he replied.

Naruto blinked, he supposed that made sense. "Ask away."

Kisame started simple, he grabbed Kubikiri and held it out in front of Naruto, "where did you get this?"

Naruto went over his options, and decided this was another case where his 'don't lie to people who can kick your ass' theory applied. (See chapt.3) He also realized that explaining where he got the sword would only make sense if he explained why he had left Konoha.

One thing led to another, and Naruto spent the next 10 minutes essentially summarizing everything that had transpired in the last month and a bit. Kisame had been silent the whole time, but was ecstatic. This would be perfect; the situation couldn't have worked out better if some had planned it. (Author twiddles his thumbs innocently)

"Tell you what," Kisame said, "I'll give you some help with your atrocious sword skills AND help you get into hidden sound to find Hoshigaki Kiran, and all I want in return is for you to help me out with something."

Naruto started to say something, then stopped as he noticed Kisame's smirk and reprocessed what he had just said.

"Oh…" was the most intelligent reply Naruto could come up with.

"So," Kisame started again, "do we have a deal, brat?"

Naruto realized that even if he hadn't needed help getting into sound, he really didn't have a choice in the matter seeing as how he was tied to a tree and helpless. He nodded slowly.

"Good," Kisame said with a grin. He cut Naruto's bindings at set the bowl of ramen in front of the ravenous boy.

"Eat quick, brat," Kisame called as he tossed Naruto some chopsticks

Itachi left the store and headed back to camp satisfied, it had taken him 3 hours and 43 minutes, but he had decided on what flavors he wanted. He was munching on a stick of 'White Chocolate Cream' when he came upon the scene of a young boy with red eyes practicing with a giant sword in the middle of his camp.

Itachi pulled out his box of Pocky and carefully read the ingredients, but nothing seemed suspicious. He looked again, the boy was still there, he activated his Sharingan, and the boy was STILL there. He was about to introduce one of his kunai to the boy's neck when he felt Kisame land beside him. He turned and glared at his partner.

"Explain."

Kisame then once again summarized the summary Naruto had given him just a few minutes before, finishing the explanation with, "so he can get what he wants from my brother and we get a reliable agent in the hidden sound. Everyone leaves happy."

Itachi thought for a moment. As much as he hated to admit it (and he most definitely hated to admit it), Kisame had a point. It was rare, but not unheard of for Akatsuki to work with other missing-nins, and this boy might save them a lot of trouble.

Every 18 months, Kisame and Itachi took a break from Akatsuki work to go visit Hoshigaki Kiran, Kisame's brother. Kisame went to get his sword checked and fixed, and Itachi just went because it was a break from working all the time. At the end of every visit, they would agree on where they would meet the next time.

Unfortunately, mist hunters had forced Kiran to flee from the agreed location and seek sanctuary in the hidden sound. This posed a slight problem, as it was unlikely Orochimaru would let the two strongest members of the Akatsuki nine just waltz into his village for a quick visit with his new best weapon smith.

They had been planning on getting a sound Jounin to deliver a message for them. Find a squad and kill all the members but one, then threaten the last one until he did what they wanted. This had worked before, but was messy and left a trail. Kisame actually cared about his brother and had been concerned that this method might put him in danger.

Kisame had suspected that Naruto might be looking for his brother as soon as he saw Kubikiri Houcho, and had decided that he would be a far better agent.

First of all, Naruto had no reason (or, less of a reason) to betray them. Second of all, Naruto needed the help of Kisame and his brother if he ever wanted to be more than an amateur with a beat up sword. Thirdly, he had a valid reason to be in the sound village and to talk to Kiran.

The final, and perhaps greatest advantage was that Fushichou Naruto didn't exist. No matter how deep they delved or how far they searched, no one would be able to find any trace of anyone with his name or description. He had no home village, no friends, no past.

Kisame went over all this and the only thing that stopped Itachi for immediately agreeing was that this boy had been the target of a failed mission, and Itachi hated to fail missions. The council had been annoyed with them for weeks.

Itachi's internal war finally ended with him agreeing to work with the brat. The boy was, after all, now a missing-nin, and if they didn't help each other out once in a while the villages would kill them of one by one until no one would have the courage to leave.

The other, and far more important reason was that the two Akatsuki really needed someone's help, but Itachi would never admit that to himself.

Naruto had known the two were somewhere nearby, but that didn't stop him from jumping slightly as two forms emerged from the forest. He blinked.

The last time they had met, Naruto had been overcome by Itachi's sheer aura of power, turned out that effect was diminished slightly when he was without his cloak and carrying shopping bags. Now, instead of looking like an incarnation of death, he just looked like an older version of Sasuke with a Pocky addiction.

Dinner that evening was awkward at first. This was primarily due to the fact that shortly after sitting down; Naruto came to a startling realization. S-class missing-nins were people. It had come as the greatest shock of his life when Itachi had set up a campfire and started to fry some meat in a pan.

Their food was simple, noodles and fried chicken, but Itachi turned out to be a very good cook. Naruto was surprised again when the two Akatsuki started to chat about pointless non-death related things. Contrary to what he might have thought, the older Uchiha was far more talkative than his younger brother had been.

After a while, Naruto found himself getting used to the idle way the two deadly shinobi discussed the next day's meals between bites of chicken. He even started to add the occasional comment to their conversation.

Supper was quickly finished and the topic of discussion turned to their task, Naruto now actively joined in. Kisame was tired of watching his brother run, but the only way to get the hunters off his trail was if they believed he was dead. So their task was two-fold, they had to get Kiran out of the hidden village of sound undetected, and make it look as if he had died in a way such that the body could never be recovered.

If so much as a single sighting of Kisame or Itachi were made, the plan would be blown, as everyone would suspect a plot. Unfortunately, Kiran's connection to members of Akatsuki was far better known in the world of shinobi than it was in the world of metalworkers.

That meant that everything would hinge on Naruto. They decided he would infiltrate the village as who he was, a young man looking to get his sword repaired. Unlike most hidden village leaders, Orochimaru allowed nukenins to both live in and visit his village.

Some took missions, others didn't, but Orochimaru figured that they would help if the village were attacked.

It was like having a free defense force, people fighting to protect the sound not because they were paid to, but because it was the only place that would accept them. It was sad and brilliant at the same time.

It was decided that Naruto would pose as a child of one of the mist-nin who had run away with Zabuza. He would claim that his father had been killed recently. This story, combined with a few bribes, would allow him to enter the village with minimal attention.

The three continued to plan long into the night; unaware that somewhere far away, another plan was in the making.

Gaara stood before the Hokage with his siblings, giving his report. Surrounding him were the few in the village interested in Naruto's fate. He had been speaking for just over an hour, and from his first word he had every ounce of attention in that room focused on him.

He wove a tale of sadness and depression so dark it tore at the heartstrings of even the most cold hearted jounin. It was a tale of a broken boy who had come to see the only other person on the planet like him before he threw his life into the sands of the desert.

He described the conversation he had had with Naruto in minute detail, every word, every facial expression, and every gesture.

It was all, of course, a complete lie.

Finally, he finished with; "Then I saw his form slowly vanish into the desert."

Gaara took a step back, very proud of himself. He wouldn't doubt that he had just given the best angsty speech anyone in the room had ever heard. Though he admitted that watching Rock Lee sob and hug his teacher for an hour had unnerved him a little bit.

It had only been moments after the ANBU arrived at his door that he realized what Naruto had done. He had wondered the whole way here whether he would be able to lie to the Hokage herself.

Then he had seen the parties in the streets. Bars offering free liquor, huge signs waving in the wind reading 'Ding, Dong, the Demons dead'. Most of Konoha was celebrating. A few people were indifferent, and here, in this room with him, were the only ones who felt even a tinge of sadness at the thought of Naruto being dead.

His eyes roamed around the room. The Hokage had started to cry silently halfway through his story and the man called Jiraiya was holding her hand. The elder Hyuuga child had his eyes tightly shut was evidently trying to hold his emotions in check while his younger sister (or cousin, Gaara wasn't sure) clung to him, sobbing. Noticeably missing were Naruto's remaining teammate and teacher.

Gaara glared. How dare these people think they had the right to be sad? Where did they think they had been when Naruto had needed them? The people of this village didn't deserve the truth. Gaara continued to be angry even after the Hokage composed herself and thanked him.

It was Orochimaru's fault. It followed in Tsunade's mind that Sasuke had left because of Orochimaru, and Naruto had (she had trouble even thinking it) killed himself because Sasuke had left, therefore, it was Orochimaru's fault.

Tsunade stood and looked at the few gathered before her.

"There has been," she declared, "far too much sadness in this village. So much that it will be many years before life gets back to normal. But in this time, I ask you to be strong, and help me to eliminate the source of this sadness!"

Tsunade slammed her fist into her desk, shattering it.

"I want every available shinobi called in from whatever mission they're on, from the ANBU to the gennin, I want them all here."

She turned to Shizune, "get our strategists working on a plan. 1 month from now, we will crush Orochimaru and his village of sound, and end this circle of sadness forever!"

The Hokage spun and stormed out of the room, leaving a stunned audience behind her.

Shikamaru sighed, "Troublesome."

Back in the forest, Naruto lay sleeping silently near the now extinguished campfire. Deeper in the woods, Itachi and Kisame were washing their clothes in the river by moonlight. They were silent for the first few moments, each having things to contemplate.

Itachi looked at his partner and decided he needed to break the silence.

"Don't even start thinking about it Kisame, the council would never allow us to have a dependant, he would just slow us down."

Kisame growled slightly as he tried to get a sweat stain out of his shirt.

"I'm perfectly aware of that, but looking at him is a lot like looking into the past, isn't it Itachi?"

Itachi could only nod. He remembered well what it was like during his first year as a missing-nin. It had been hard, and he had been a jounin when he left. Naruto was chuunin level at best. No, he knew all to well that once Konoha found out Naruto was alive (and they would, eventually) the next few months after would probably be the most difficult of Naruto's life, if he were still alive at the end of them.

Kisame cut into Itachi's thoughts, "we could at least help him get stronger and teach him enough to survive." He said, "It's 3 days to Hidden sound if we move quickly, but we have all the time we need, so why not take 2 weeks and teach him a few tricks, then we go our separate ways after we're done in sound and the council won't even need to know he exists."

Itachi gave no response to Kisame's suggestion, but it didn't matter. They had both known he'd agree before the words had come out of his partner's mouth.

It had been said once that if you looked as missing-nin society as a whole, it functioned very much like a hidden village. Mission information was carried by rumors instead of scrolls, but there were definite ranks and the older nins often passed on their experience to the younger ones.

Itachi now understood why that was. Not out of any particular like for Naruto personally, but because in looking at him, Itachi inevitably saw some part of himself.

Bonus: Physics of Big-Ass Swords

Having a decent knowledge of rotational motion is a necessity for any decent swordsman.

The first fact is that the distribution of mass is very important. The further the mass is from your body the more energy needed to move the sword.

But then enters the law of conservation of energy. Say you want to swing the sword around in a circle once, 360 degrees, in one second. And say that, if you hold the sword at the end of the handle and away from your body, it takes 5 units of energy to swing it. If you hold the sword at the top of the handle, near the hilt of the blade, and close to your body, it will only take 3 units of energy to move the sword around in a circle.

But since energy can never be created or destroyed (under normal circumstances), if one were to start swinging the sword at arms length, giving it 5 units of energy, and then pull the sword in close to your body, the swing will actually speed up to compensate.

The opposite is also true, if you start a swing in close to your body then extend your arm, the speed of the strike will decrease.

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**Authors Note**: Well…that was weird. Kudos if you made it through the bonus and understood it

This chapter was supposed to be a lot shorter and combined with the next one. The story got away from me again.

I find that too often, powerful characters are seen as gods who never do anything other than look cool and kill things. I've always figured that as S-class criminals are in fact people, so they probably spend most of their time doing normal people things.


	8. Ironic

The next morning, Naruto was kicked awake at 5:30 and told that he had to get up and train. Kisame handed him Kubikiri and started dragging the still groggy Naruto out to a clearing, he then drew Samehada and started to explain.

"Okay, brat, listen up. Itachi and I don't think your ready for this mission yet, so you're going to be getting a two-week crash course on how to be a missing-nin. Your mornings will be spent doing taijutsu and swordsmanship training with me, and your afternoons will be devoted to Itachi teaching you the more general skills you'll need to stay alive"

With no more words, Kisame charged.

Caught unaware, Naruto was slammed fully awake as he tried to parry Kisame's first strike. Tried being the operative word. He was thrown backwards by the force of the blow.

The next 2 hours were spent pretty much like that. Kisame attacked from somewhere, Naruto tried to block. It took 45 minutes for Naruto figured out that this was not strength, but creativity and instinct training.

Naruto figured out early on that he could never overpower than shark man, but he found there were tricks he could use.

After trying to deflect shuriken with his sword the way he would with a kunai the first few times, he realized that if he turned the sword sideways, it was wide enough to shield him completely.

He also found that the best way to block Kisame's attacks was to counterattack. If they both charged each other at the same time, Kisame would lose the momentum advantage he had when Naruto was just standing there, waiting for the impact.

Some time around 7:30 they had breakfast, Kisame and Naruto had bacon and eggs, Itachi had orange Pocky. Right after breakfast they were back to training, only this time Kisame was actually teaching. He took Naruto through the basics of holding and swinging a sword, and then taught him some basic routines to practice.

Kisame felt this was very important, because he had seen some moments in their pre-breakfast practice where Naruto had pulled off a truly amazing block, only to be overpowered because he was holding the sword in the wrong place or at the wrong angle.

By the time lunch rolled around, Naruto was exhausted. After lunch, Itachi replaced Kisame, took one look at him, and declared he needed new shoes. Naruto was still wearing his now rather beat up impromptu sandals he had made from the remains of his boots.

It was for this reason that Naruto found himself in a shoe store in the nearest town an hour later. Naruto had complained that it was a long run for shoes until Itachi mentioned that he sometimes ran for half a day to get his weekly Pocky supply.

Naruto blindly picked out a pair of boots, which Itachi carefully examined before nodding. Naruto paid for the shoes and they ran all the way back to camp. Naruto, now completely wiped, glared at Itachi across what he had now come to call the 'training field.'

Suddenly, without warning, the old Itachi was back, the one that used to give him nightmares. Naruto's body ceased to function as every part of him screamed for him to run, but he couldn't move.

Just as quickly, the feeling was gone, and Naruto looked at Itachi in awe as the Sharingan user pulled out a stick of banana cream Pocky and started to eat it.

"Today's lesson," Itachi said between bites, "is for you to figure out what I just did, I'll repeat it as many time as you like."

And he did just that.

The first few times, Naruto was just as shocked and frozen as the first. But slowly, as the afternoon went on, he started to resist the feelings, and as he did, he started notice little things.

The way Itachi shifted his posture slightly. The way his eyes narrowed. The way he angled his head. The way his muscles tightened. The list went on and on until suddenly, Naruto's eyes widened in understanding. Itachi wasn't moving, but somehow…

"It's everything," Naruto said, "You're changing everything."

Itachi nodded slightly. "Orochimaru calls this killing intent," he said, "but what it really is, is the accumulation of fear stimulus"

Seeing the blank look in Naruto's eyes, Itachi tried to come up with another way to explain it.

"What do people do when you glare at them with your red eyes?" Itachi asked.

"They get afraid?" Naruto responded hesitantly.

"Exactly. And what do they do when you bare your fangs at them?" Itachi asked again.

"Um…they get more afraid" Naruto responded, wondering where this was going.

Itachi continued on, "right again. But, Naruto, we are a race that has huge numbers of instincts that we never need to use any more, instincts left over from when we were primitive hunters. And there are over a hundred more subtle movements that automatically set off a fear reaction in humans."

Naruto felt a chill run down his back and Itachi continued on.

"I just shifted my weight as if I was going to attack, and I'm sure you felt some fear?"

Naruto nodded

"So if I were to do 40 or 50 small motions at once, each of which triggered a small fear reaction…"

"they would build up into a paralyzing terror." Naruto finished

Naruto though about it for a moment, then grinned, exposing his fangs. "Teach me."

Naruto spent the rest of the day subjected to Itachi's fear stimulus, as it was explained that he couldn't learn the technique himself until he was fully able to resist its effect.

Naruto had absolutely no energy by the time supper rolled around and went to bed especially early, as Kisame's smirk promised another 5:30 wake-up.

It was in this way that the first week passed, and it this time, both his teachers were impressed with his progress. He wasn't a genius by any means, but his incredible endurance and work ethic made up for it.

In 6 days time Naruto had learned the basics of handling his sword, and had refined and smoothed his motions. He had also learned 15 of the 36 fear stimulus Itachi was planning on teaching him. He had yet to successfully use them all together, but he was working on it.

On the seventh day, it was time for Itachi to go shopping for food and Pocky, and it was decided that Naruto would accompany him. On the way to town, Itachi started a conversation about dealing with clients as a missing-nin.

"So say you find out that a client wants to meet you at a certain place and time," Itachi said, "What do you do?"

Naruto thought for a moment, "I'd send a clone, and watch from a distance," he said.

"WRONG," Itachi said firmly, "don't you think hunter-nins plan for that sort of thing? You should go yourself to meet the client, anything less would be insulting, but use at least 6 clones as sentries. You don't care if the hunter-nins find you; if they are stronger than you then you're doomed either way, because they will always find you eventually. You just always want to know when they're coming. It's also good to remember that if you are caught in a sting operation, whoever is posing as the client can be used as a hostage or human shield."

Naruto absorbed all this information as they arrived in own. Itachi handed him a shopping list and disappeared to the snack store, leaving Naruto to get all the regular food. 2 hours later, both were done their respective tasks, but Itachi wanted to make one more stop.

"What do you mean, I need a new sword wrapping?" Naruto growled.

"Your current one is too difficult to remove in combat and falls off too easily, instead of one large piece of cloth that you fold around it, we're going to get you a long strip of cloth to wrap around it, much as Kisame does." Itachi replied calmly.

20 minutes later, Naruto was heading back to camp with a weeks worth of groceries and 60 feet of what looked to him like bandages. The only reason he wasn't complaining more than he was was that Itachi had paid.

After arriving back at camp, things soon fell back into routine, and before Naruto knew it, 4 more days had passed and they were on their way to the hidden sound.

During the three-day trip, they planned and trained, spending every spare minute in preparation.

They stopped a day from the sound as the last 12 hours of the journey Naruto would have to make alone for Itachi and Kisame to stay out of range of the sound's regular patrols.

As they sat around the fire eating what would be their last meal together, each was reflecting on the past weeks. For Itachi and Kisame, it had been a unique opportunity not only to teach, but also to spend time with someone who wasn't afraid of them.

Everywhere they walked, fear followed, no S-class criminals, not even Orochimaru had the aura of fear carried by Uchiha Itachi and Hoshigaki Kisame. But here was a boy who was not only immune to it, but also impressed by it. In his weeks with Itachi, Naruto had become quite adept with all 35 fear stimulus and could now simultaneously use 12 without screwing up.

Both found themselves developing the same kind of relationship with the boy that they had with each other. They didn't necessarily like each other, but they accepted and tolerated each other. And for people like them, that was enough.

Itachi looked up from his musings, laughing slightly at his own emotions. He was a man who had slaughtered his own family, and here he was feeling an attachment, however slight, to a boy he had met only weeks before.

But then again, he thought as he watched Kisame try to teach the boy to use his new bandage like sword wrappings, how did someone define family? A large part of it was a feeling of belonging, which Itachi had never felt anywhere until he became Kisame's partner. So had the Uchiha clan really been his family?

He was broken out of his thoughts again as Kisame and Naruto wrestled in a pile of tangled cloth. He smiled as he silently watched them.

As the last of the fire was dying out, Naruto got ready to leave. He wanted to arrive at the sound at dawn. Kisame just nodded to him as Itachi handed him his bag. It had been a unanimous decision that any of them would deny to their graves what had happened over the last two weeks, so silence seemed appropriate. It would be unlikely that they would ever meet again.

Naruto turned, and ran out of the camp. Halfway to the sound, he stopped for lunch and found a box of Double Chocolate Pocky in his bag.

Naruto carefully approached the gates of the hidden sound. The gates were open and there was a small amount of traffic going in and out. Naruto waited for his turn and line then approached the guard.

"Who are you and what is your reason for being here" the guard asked in a bored tone.

"Fushichou Naruto is my name and I'm here to see a sword smith about getting this," he gestured to the neatly wrapped Kubikiri Houcho on his back, "fixed up." Naruto spoke without a shred of hesitation; he had practiced his speeches until he knew them backwards and forwards.

The guard looked at him curiously. "Village of Origin?"

"Mist," Naruto replied.

"Equivalent Rank?"

"Chuunin."

"Time since you left your village?"

"1½ years."

The guard appeared satisfied and waved him through. Naruto entered the village with his heart pounding. The last question hadn't been one they'd rehearsed.

The next few moments were some of the most anti-climactic of Naruto's life. Hidden sound looked like…well…a village. He wasn't sure what he had been expecting, but this wasn't it.

With the exception of the slightly more rough around the edges look the sound had, it could have been Konoha.

Naruto just wandered around for a few minutes, basking in all that was the Village of the Hidden Sound, but he soon remembered that he had a mission, and one that was very dependant on timing.

After a few minutes of asking around, he was pointed in the right direction and found himself in front of a house. The nameplate of the door read 'Kiran' but it didn't look like a shop of any kind. Then he saw smoke coming from the back yard.

He jumped over the fence and his face blanched. There was no way this person could be anyone other than Kisame's brother. There couldn't be many people in the world that looked so shark like. He appeared to be pounding on a red-hot hunk of metal, but Naruto didn't see any fire. He observed the man for another minute or two, watched him dunk the metal into a bucket of water, and suddenly his hands were forming seals, Naruto watched in interest.

Suddenly the man spoke, "Goukakyuu no Jutsu!" he called as he breathed a flame that engulfed the metal.

Naruto nodded to himself. Definitely the right guy.

Naruto jumped back over the fence and knocked on it. He heard grumbling for a moment before Kiran opened the gate, looking annoyed, and glanced down at Naruto and more pointedly at the wrapped sword on his back.

"What do you want brat?"

Naruto grinned; he had more in common with his brother than his looks.

Naruto tried to sound professional, "I have a repair job for you, one probably better discussed in private."

Kiran looked at him suspiciously, but let him in and closed the gate. He walked to the back door of the house and opened it, gesturing Naruto to go inside.

Once they were comfortably seated in Kiran's rather boring living room, Naruto took the sword off his back and with a flick of his thumb (it had taken hours to master the knot that held the bindings), the cloth fell off.

Back in Konoha, everyone was on edge. With the attack force leaving in 6 days for the Sound, kunais were being nervously sharpened all over the village.

The sand siblings sat nervously in their assigned room. Shortly after Tsunade's announcement, the sand had sent them a message telling them not to bother coming back; and that the sand was going to send 170 nins to support the Konoha attack on the sound. No one missed the irony of this act.

The roll the three siblings had been given was containment. They were each given a squad of chuunin and their task would be to patrol the forest and make sure no one important escaped from the chaos that would be the hidden sound.

At this precise moment, Gaara was feeling out of place. Not because he was a demon, or a murderer, but because he had nothing to polish. Kankuro was carefully wiping down Karasu, and Temari was buffing her fan with a dry sponge. And all this time, Gaara just sat there, doing nothing.

Temari looked at her brother oddly, he had been staring at her hand buffing her fan for about 5 minutes now. It wasn't helping her nerves. She had been in wars before, but this time she was in charge of a group of chuunin, and most of them were from the leaf.

She knew she had the lazy ass and his team under her command, but hadn't really heard much else. Leadership was a responsibility she wasn't sure she wanted, it was more suited to Gaara, with his unshakable calm.

Temari spotted a scuffmark and buffed furiously. She supposed all she could hope was that nobody dangerous tried to get past her section of forest.

Far away, Kiran was in shock.

"_Kubikiri Houcho_" he whispered, as if afraid it would disappear.

He reached out to touch it, and after getting an acknowledging nod from Naruto, he picked it up ad examined it.

"Where did you get this?" Kiran asked.

Naruto had practiced this to, "I was part of Zabuza's group, and am now the only one left alive. I've started to use the sword myself but needed it repaired."

Kiran looked at him carefully, "do you know how to handle it?"

Naruto nodded, "I've been practicing since Zabuza died, and I like to think I'm proficient. More importantly, how much for you to fix it?"

Kiran shook his head, "I can't be charged for fixing it, the sword isn't broken, it was just never finished"

Naruto's eyes widened as Kiran continued, "I was driven out of hidden mist before I could finish it, I had heard it had been given to Zabuza the Demon, who had also later fled, but I never dreamed I'd see it again."

He looked up at Naruto, "I don't want any money, it would be my greatest pleasure to finish the sword, but first I need to see you handle it."

Naruto would realize later that showing Kiran routines Kisame had taught him probably wasn't a good idea, but Kiran never noticed. It was imperative to the mission that no one, not even Kiran himself, ever find out Naruto had been working with the Akatsuki, so Naruto knew he'd have to be more careful.

Kiran nodded after a few minutes of Naruto showing off but then caught the boy off guard, "Ok, so your good up close, how good is your aim?"

Naruto blinked. "Aim?"

"When you throw it…" Kiran looked exasperated.

Naruto blinked again. He felt really stupid, after all, the first time he had seen the sword it had been flying in the air over his head.

Kiran sighed; the boy had shown he could handle the sword…

"Okay, new condition," Kiran declared, "I will finish the sword, but after you have to learn how to make use of its full potential, otherwise, your wasting it, and I won't allow that!"

Naruto nodded, it was better than he had hoped for.

He found out that it would take 5 days of solid work to finish Kubikiri Houcho, and that, until then, Kiran was to be left alone. This left Naruto with 5 days of spare time…he had never had that much spare time before.

The first thing he did was find a ramen stand and order 12 bowls, but after that, finding himself with nothing else to do, Naruto decided to train. He found a sound training field and joined those already there. He tried practicing Kirigakure no jutsu once, then switched to taijutsu when everyone else on the field glared at him and the mist he was making.

He threw himself into training for the next five days, fighting to become as strong as he knew he needed to be if he wanted to survive.

In Konoha, shinobi were doing much the same, preparing for a war.

On the fifth day, Naruto went back to Kiran's shop, and the man himself walked out holding a cloth wrapped bundle.

In Konoha, Tsunade strode up to a podium and faced her troops.

Though hundreds of miles apart, and in very different tones of voice, the sword smith and Hokage spoke in almost perfect synchronization.

"It's time for you to show me what you've got"

Author's Note: Today, for the first time ever, I saw the silence of the lambs, I'm not sure if it shows in the chapter, but the whole time I wrote this I kept hearing in my head: "Tell me, Clarice - have the lambs stopped screaming?"

As it is spring break, I'm going to try to update at least once every couple days. I'm hoping to get this story done with by the end of the month, not likely to happen, but I have other ideas running around in my head that need to be written and I wont start another story until this ones done.

Next Chapter: The attack on the hidden sound and Naruto's first contact with someone from Konoha since his departure.


	9. Old Friends in New Places

Kiran let the cloth fall loose and smirked at Naruto's reaction. The sword looked mostly the same physically, but the blade…

The blade had been stained with something to make it dark, almost black, and unreflective. It somehow made the sword look more sinister.

Naruto reached out to touch it but Kiran stopped him.

"Before you so much as touch this sword," Kiran said, "You have to understand what it is. It has changed in many more ways than what you can see. Do you know why the 7 mist Tenken are called that? Why they are called 'heavenly swords'?"

Naruto shook his head.

"Because," Kiran continued, "they are more than just swords, that is why they are given names, after all. Each Tenken is forged using a number of forbidden jutsus that allow it to contain a bit of its wielders essence, and its powers reflect that. My brother's Samehada can smell and eat chakra, showing our family's rather 'sharklike' personalities."

Kiran grinned, showing his pointed teeth, then continued, quickly becoming serious again.

"But it also means that taking up one of the Tenken is a lifelong commitment, the sword is part of you until the day you die. Zabuza never had that connection with his sword because the jutsus needed were never done, but you need to understand what you're getting into. Are you sure you still want to go through with this?"

Naruto thought back to his time with the blade over the last couple of months, how it had started to feel like an extension of his body, and smirked at Kiran. "The sword is already a part of me," Naruto said, "so it's only fair that I give it some of myself."

Kiran nodded and carefully passed the sword to Naruto.

"Now, I'm not sure what's going to happen when we do this," Kiran said, "most of the Tenken start looking something like that." He gestured to Kubikiri, "When my brother did the blood ritual, his sword grew scales."

Naruto raised an eyebrow but let Kiran continue.

"First of all," Kiran instructed, "you need to carefully slit both your wrists with a kunai."

Naruto nervously took out a Kunai and did so. The blood ran freely.

"Now," Kiran continued, "Hold the sword upside down with both hands so your blood runs down the blade, and with the handle still between your hands, copy the hand seals I show you."

Naruto did so, and as he finished and held the last seal, his blood soaked into the blade, his wrist wounds healed, and he felt something torn out of his body. He fell to one knee, leaning on the sword as a vortex of red and blue chakra spun around him. He felt an odd burning in his belly and looked down to see his seal spinning furiously, exactly as it had done with the Shikifuujin Kai.

Suddenly, he felt the chakra sucked back into his body, but he watched as the outer two seals on his stomach disappeared, leaving only the spiral seal. Naruto panicked for a moment then took a deep breath and felt inside his body; he was pleasantly surprised to find the Kyuubi's chakra still sealed, exactly where it was supposed to be.

But there was something missing, and he felt an odd tugging at the back of his mind. Hearing Kiran gasp slightly, he came back to the real world and had his breath stolen from him.

The dark blade was now engraved, in the most precise detail, with the image of a blood red nine-tailed fox locked in combat with a deep blue dragon. A moment later, the name inscribed near the handle started to shift, the Kanji twisting and reforming to read:

Seirei Kirite (Spirit Cutter).

As he sat there on the ground, he felt a feeling of confusion emanate from the sword and burst out in hysterical laughter.

The sword had taken part of him, but it had also taken the soul of the Kyuubi.

15 minutes and a hell of a lot of explaining later, Kiran was nodding his head. When he thought about it, it made perfect sense. The jutsu was designed to take part of a person's soul, and no matter how powerful the seal, the Kyuubi's soul would be far less attached than Naruto's own, so the Jutsu had taken it.

This left Kyuubi's chakra inside Naruto, still happily mixing with the help of the remaining spiral seal, as well a confused demon fox inside the sword.

That was another thing Naruto found odd; he could vaguely feel what the fox was feeling and thinking.

Currently, said fox was very off balance. For years he had been in that cage, able to feel all his chakra but perceive nothing, now, he could feel things around him, but drawing on chakra was like drinking the ocean through a straw.

His feeling wasn't a form of sight exactly, just a perception of things nearby. He also found that he had a somewhat empathic connection to the brat.

Naruto was sitting on the floor of Kiran's living room when he felt it, a slight pull on his chakra, and realized the fox was trying to draw on it from inside the sword. Curious, he loosened his chakra control and let the fox take some, the sword started to flicker with a red glow.

Kiran walked back into the room to see Naruto holding the sword, which was surrounded by a fluctuating red aura. He sat down on the couch and observed the boy. Kiran had never seen a situation like this before and was fascinated.

Further experimentation revealed that the Kyuubi, if given enough chakra, could manifest parts of his body. This resulted in no small number of nicks and gashes on Naruto as the fox was still just a little irked about the 'arm severing' incident.

It was this, however, that led directly to the next discovery. Naruto could not only control how much Chakra the fox got, he could use his own chakra to manifest. Nothing as complex as what the Kyuubi could manage, after all, Naruto had to his own body he had to worry about controlling. But he soon found he could send a small burst of chakra from the sword.

Kiran suddenly broke the silence, "Now I get it!" He exclaimed.

Naruto was about to ask what Kiran got but didn't have time as the shark man just kept speaking.

"What was it you said before the ritual? That you felt the sword was part of your body. That's the power of your sword, to exude chakra from it as if it were a part of your body. But Kyuubi complicated things. That also explains the engraving, the red nine-tailed fox is obvious, but the blue dragon represents your chakra."

Kiran rushed on, now completely lost in his own world, "The two creatures in the engraving are fighting, but their also intertwined, much as you must be, therefore, your essence is mixed with the demons and that's what's holding Kyuubi's soul in the sword."

Naruto looked cautiously at Kiran. "Meaning?"

"Meaning," Kiran said, sounding proud of himself, "that the only reason Kyuubi still exists now that he's apart from his chakra is because he is, in the literal sense, now part of you. You aren't two separate beings anymore, your one being with two minds and two chakras."

As amazingly comforted as Naruto was by this thought, it meant that the fox would have to think twice before killing him, and that was a good thing.

Kiran continued to speak, completely oblivious to the mood, "Now that that's over with, its time for a sword throwing lesson!" he said with a grin.

Naruto glared. He added a few fear stimuli for extra effect.

"Or," Kiran continued, "We could start the lesson first thing tomorrow morning."

Naruto nodded, he needed some time alone with his 'sword.'

Once Kiran was out of the room, Naruto gave Kyuubi enough chakra for the demon to manifest a head. Naruto tried to play it cool, as if he had conversations with glowing red fox heads coming out of his sword every day.

"**Well, Brat," **the demon said, **"This certainly is an…interesting twist."**

"It changes little," Naruto replied, "you still need me to stay alive, and since I know how much you look forward to dying, I figure you'll contribute to my well being no matter how much you hate me."

Kyuubi laughed, **"Yes, I suppose that's true. And I have to admit, this form allows me a great deal more freedom than that cage your belly and…"**

Naruto cut him off, "Before anything, lets get one thing straight. We hate each other, correct?"

The fox head nodded with a feral grin

"But you need me to give you access to chakra or you're about as useful as Sakura."

The fox flinched, that had been harsh.

"But I'm stuck with you either way. So here's how things work. You help me fight, which you love to do anyway, and in return, I'll give you chakra. The only rule is that if you EVER hurt someone without what I think is a valid reason; I'll cut you off forever. Do we understand each other?"

"**I suppose," **the demon said with just a hint of annoyance. He was stuck with the brat, so he would just take the opportunities to reap destruction as they came. 14 years in a cage had taught him some patience.

Naruto sighed and collapsed on the floor as the head vanished. It was only suppertime and he was exhausted.

The evening was uneventful and the next morning, Naruto was up bright and early, getting ready for his throwing lesson.

Kiran led him out of the hidden sound and into the forest, where he found a tree he liked, took Naruto to a spot 140 feet away, and told him to try and cut the tree in half.

Naruto failed miserably the first few times, missing the tree or just nicking it, but on the 9th try, he felt that familiar tug that meant Seirei Kirite, or more specifically Kyuubi, wanted chakra.

He gave the sword some chakra as he released the throw and the sword not only cut through the tree perfectly, it also curved around and returned to Naruto's hand. He grinned. The demon could control it using chakra.

Kiran was taken slightly aback.

"Ok then, I guess it's on to lesson two…"

Lesson two was learning the Shuriken Kage Bunshin no jutsu, a skill Kiran claimed was necessary. Due to his experience with the regular variant, applying it to a weapon wasn't very hard and Naruto picked it up quickly.

The only thing was that Naruto called it the Kirite Kage Bunshin no jutsu, since he claimed calling his sword a shuriken was insulting.

The rest of the morning revealed that Kyuubi could control 9 swords at once, the original and 8 shadow clones, all of which he delightedly used to reduce a rather large section of the forest to stumps.

By 3:00, Kiran was out of things to teach, he wasn't really a ninja after all, and declared that Naruto could go.

Naruto rushed back town. The operation would start in 4 days and he needed to be ready.

The plan he had concocted with the two Akatsuki was simple. Naruto was going to invade the sound.

Not for real of course, but enough confusion would be generated and destruction caused that Hoshigaki Kiran's death would be easily overlooked.

The problem had been how to make Naruto look like an invading army, but with careful planning, they had come up with an idea that would work and that, over the next 3 days, Naruto started to put into effect.

The first thing he did was pose as a simple workman carrying a bag of fertilizer. What no one noticed was that the bag had a hole, and everywhere he walked some fell out. What people didn't know was that there was gunpowder in the bag, not fertilizer. Kiran lived near the south gate, and Naruto, over the course of almost 2 days, had enough gunpowder just laying everywhere in the area like dust that the slightest spark would cause some to ignite, but people just passed if off as lighter malfunctions.

He switched from workman to repairman and spent the last day setting up shuriken launchers on the tops of houses so that, when triggered, they would shoot the kunai into the air and make them fall in the street looking as though they had been thrown over the houses.

Right before going to sleep the night before the mission, Naruto sat and thought, making sure he hadn't missed a part of the plan. The next morning he would wake up at dawn and start his mock attack an hour later. Naruto was going to instigate his invasion using as many shadow clones as he could make, all using henge to look like various leaf nins.

Kisame and Itachi would disguise themselves as sound nins and remove Kiran from his house before torching it. They weren't planning on being in the village more than 15 minutes.

8½ hours from the sound, Kisame detected what felt like a very large number of approaching chakra sources and quickly woke his partner.

9 hours from the sound, Temari led her advance team. Their job was to cover the north gate, so they would have to travel around the whole village to get to their positions, and they had to do it without alerting any sound sentries.

9½ hours from the hidden sound, Tsunade was leading the main invasion force; they would rest a short while an hour from the village and attack at dawn.

Half an hour before dawn, Naruto was knocked off of Kiran's couch, where he had been sleeping, to see Kisame and Itachi above him, disguised and looking like sound nins.

He glanced at the clock, "What's wrong?"

"A leaf invasion force will be here in 10 minutes." Itachi said, as if talking about the weather.

Naruto looked confused for a moment, "a REAL one?"

Itachi nodded.

"Shit," Naruto muttered, "this will be a pain, won't it?"

Itachi nodded again.

Kisame left to wake his brother and Naruto got off the couch and started to dress as he talked, "So we'll have to fight our way out? Which way?"

Itachi thought for a moment, "North. Assuming that you have everything set up for our plan, the first fire jutsu used in this area of town will light this place up, so we need to get out of the south end before the leaf arrive in," Itachi calmly pulled out a stick of strawberry Pocky as he checked his watch, "7 minutes"

Kisame ran back into the room, carrying a rather annoyed Kiran over his shoulder. Kiran's eyes widened as he saw Naruto with Itachi, but he quickly understood.

All three ran out the back and leapt onto the roof. Hidden sound was in chaos, people running everywhere making last minute defense preparations. All three moved their hands through seals and for one instant, every eye in hidden sound was facing in their direction as together, they called, "Kirigakure no jutsu!"

The mist started to form. Between the three of them, there had been more chakra put into the mist than was required to summon 8 Gamabuntas, and soon, all of hidden sound and surrounding area was enshrouded with it.

Kisame set his brother down and he and Naruto, in somewhat creepy synchronization, drew their swords and flicked off their wrappings. Both Akatsuki raised their eyebrows at Naruto's black engraved blade, but decided to question Kiran later.

Naruto reached into his pocket, and carefully tied on his forehead protector, taking time to run his hands over the kanji he had scratched in all those weeks ago. He could feel Seirei Kirite pulse with excitement as he looked out into the mist.

Without a word, Itachi picked up Kiran and the three shinobi dove into the fog.

They ran north silently, each already knowing what they would need to do. At the north gate, Itachi and Kisame would break right and Naruto would continue on. There would be a containment unit of shinobi to stop them from doing exactly what they were doing, and it would be Naruto's responsibility to distract them.

There could be no knowledge of Akatsuki, and with the leaf being the attackers; the danger of discovery was even more than usual.

They got to the north gate without trouble; everyone else was heading south to fight.

Just as they were arriving, they saw and heard a huge explosion on the south side of town. Both armies would be completely confused at this point.

As expected, Naruto watched as Itachi took a sharp right turn just outside the gate.

Naruto stopped atop the gate and looked out into the mist filled forest. Everything he had done since he left his village was for this moment, to look out over what would soon be a battle field not as a Konoha gennin or even as a Konoha nukenin, but as Fushichou Naruto.

His face widened into a dark grin. Then again, he thought, to his opponents, he would be nothing more than a demonic mirage.

Akimichi Chouji looked cautiously into the mist. He had used his multi-size no jutsu as soon as this unnatural fog had rolled in.

Less than 40 feet away, Naruto was cursing silently. He knew it was soft, but he really didn't want to kill those few people who had been relatively nice to him. He hefted the eager sword and sent it a clear message. No killing unless Naruto said so. The sword pulsed in his hand and he pulled back his arm and threw.

Chouji felt something coming and dove out of the way as it flew past him, it had looked like a huge sword. He was immediately on full alert, looking for something, anything, that would reveal his opponents location.

He lurched once, then twice more as he turned in horror to see three huge blades protruding from his back, each of which turned to smoke a moment later. The large man managed to let out a yell before he fell to his knees and passed out, returning to his normal size.

Naruto was already running past him to the next opponent. He knew the leaf containment unit formation, he had practiced it many times himself.

Yamanaka Ino knew nothing. Naruto was less than 5 feet away from her and she couldn't sense him. He circled her until he was behind her, and calmly, with a shallow slice, he severed her spinal cord near her waist and watched her collapse like a broken puppet. She would never walk again, but he figured he was saving her from a grisly death in combat. She was a crappy shinobi.

Now there was only one more. This was where he was going to take a risk, but he really didn't want the three dead. He jumped to where the third member should be posted, and as expected, he suddenly felt his body freeze.

He knew Shikamaru was somewhere in the mist, he had been sure the genius would find some way to catch him in a shadow bind even without seeing him. This was where it became dangerous. He sent a pulse of chakra to the sword; it sent back a feeling of understanding.

He opened the floodgates, pouring demonic chakra into the blade. The blades aura turned into a giant claw that shot off into the darkness. Naruto heard a grunt and the shadow bind was released. Now came the run-like-hell part.

Every shinobi within 3 miles would have felt that, manifesting took an insane amount of chakra, even by Kyuubi's standards. An investigation team would be there in minutes. He hoped it would be from the leaf.

But there was one problem. Naruto didn't know it, but he had only practiced containment operations with three people because that's how many were on his team. In the field, it was custom to have a fourth member, farther out.

It was for this reason that it caught Naruto rather off guard when a hurricane force wind blasted him up against a tree. He quickly recovered, but found himself in a now mistless clearing facing someone he immediately knew he would lose to.

Between the huge Kirigakure no jutsu and the Kyuubi's manifestation, he was drained of chakra. But more important was that despite the fact that he didn't even remember her name, he couldn't hurt Gaara's sister, he owed far too much to the sleepless boy.

Temari was bringing her fan around for a second blast when her blood froze.

As Itachi had taught him, Naruto did not force it, he simply allowed his body to flow into what the Sharingan master had called the 'death stance'. Naruto recognized it as what Orochimaru had used in the forest, a collection of fear stimulus that gave the target a paralyzing terror and a feeling of their impending doom.

She had seen him, and was working with the leaf; he couldn't afford to let her tell anyone about him.

His death stance wasn't very strong yet, and would start to wear off after just a few seconds.

Naruto made a decision, he had no time now, he would think of something later.

Temari fought to regain control of her body, logically, she knew she was helpless like this, but the fear was still too strong.

Suddenly, Naruto sprung into action, crossing the clearing of sliced trees between them in less than 3 seconds.

The last thing Temari saw was a set of demonic eyes burning into her own.

Naruto tossed the unconscious girl over his shoulder and glanced back at the mayhem behind him one last time before running as fast as he could into the forest.

Long since forgotten, the remains of Naruto's bag lay in the smoldering pile of wood that had once been Kiran's house, where in a few short hours, a certain longhaired Hyuuga would notice a necklace glinting in the sunlight.

Authors Note: Ok, once again, the story got away from me. I hadn't planned anything involving the Kyuubi for this chapter, but I rather like how it turned out, despite my complete inability to describe fight scenes.

Anyone expecting instant romance will be unfortunately disappointed. It took 9 chapters for the characters to meet, so I'm sure you can wait a few more.

A note about the swords new name, Seirei Kirite means spirit cutter, but seirei doesn't just mean spirit, it implies that it's a good or holy spirit, therefore, showing the rather dark essence of the sword.

Just to clarify before anyone asks, Naruto does not have access to all Kyuubi's chakra, most of it is still sealed away but is slowly mixing with his own. Therefore, Naruto has control of all his blue chakra, and some of the red. Kyuubi now gets all his chakra from Naruto's chakra reserves, meaning he can only access as much chakra as Naruto.

Next Chapter: The aftermath of the war, and Naruto and Temari have a rather violent first conversation

And to all those wondering, no, Shikamaru is not dead. I like him too much to kill him off.

Translation Notes:

Seirei Kirite – spirit cutter

Fushichou – Phoenix

Nukenin – Missing-nin

Shikifuujin Kai - Dead Demon Imprisonment

Kirite Kage Bunshin no Jutsu – Cutter Shadow Replication Technique

Kirigakure no Jutsu – Hidden Mist Technique


	10. Camping with your Captor

Naruto giggled.

He knew it really wasn't the time but he couldn't help it, his companion was so…cute.

The 12 inch tall fox glared balefully at him. They were in Naruto's mindscape, standing before the sealed gate, and the miniature fox was getting very annoyed. He momentarily considered biting the boy's ankle, but decided that would juts be demeaning himself.

What they saw through the gate was an odd sight, looking something like a sunset. The demons chakra simply sat there, behind the seal, a sea of red energy.

Naruto sighed, he had been hoping there might be a way to draw on this ocean of chakra, but with the fox now on his side of the seal, there was no one to push it through, so the chakra just slowly leaked out.

As a consolation prize, he got to annoy a tiny demon fox. Within the mindscape the demon's form was maintained by his chakra, so without it he reverted to the smallest and most efficient form possible. It also made him hilariously cute.

Needless to say, the demon wasn't appreciating the humor.

In what had hours ago been the hidden sound, the Fifth Hokage surveyed the destruction around her. Lives had been lost, sacrifices made, but Orochimaru was dead.

She turned and walked back into the temporary hospital, and started to tend to the ever arriving wounded.

With the death of their leader, the majority of the sound-nins had immediately given themselves up. Unfortunately, there had been no sign of Sasuke, but it had been a perfectly orchestrated invasion.

Except for two things.

The first was the odd disturbance at the northern gate. Three shinobi had been badly injured, one was still missing, but none killed. She had examined them herself, the wounds on both Shikamaru and Chouji were from an unknown source, but Ino looked to have been cut once across the back with some large sharp object. It wasn't a cut designed to kill, too shallow, and it showed too much forethought to be an accident.

Chouji had three deep gashes in his back and Shikamaru looked to have had his arm almost torn off by some huge hand but these wounds to were non-lethal. Whoever attacked them had been holding back. She was waiting for one of the three to regain consciousness and give her a better picture of what happened, as Gaara had been very restless since the news of his sister's disappearance.

The other problem, and honestly, the one really bothering the Hokage was the discovery of the necklace. Hyuuga Neji was in the hospital with a rather bad case of chakra burn from using Kaiten too much, and had mentioned in passing that he had found a necklace that looked exactly like the one Naruto used to wear.

Now, when Hyuuga Neji said 'exactly like', he didn't mean 'really similar to' like most people did, he meant exactly like. Tsunade had immediately demanded he show it to her, and he had. It was the same necklace.

Somehow, weeks after his death, Naruto's necklace was showing up in the hidden sound.

Something wasn't adding up. Tsunade wasn't sure what it was yet, but it was there, that nagging feeling that she'd missed something…

She was broken out of her thoughts as a group of civilians were brought in; they had been in a building crushed by Manda.

Temari was floating. Her body was weightless, surrounded by nothingness. Sight showed nothing but blackness. Ears heard nothing but…cursing?

Temari slowly opened her eyes, blinking into what felt like very bright light. Once she was mostly aware and started to take some notice of her surroundings, she realized she was sitting, leaning against something and couldn't move her arms. She was now waking up very quickly.

Abruptly, the cursing she had been hearing stopped, and her eyes finally focused just in time to see a set of dark red eyes looking into hers.

Suddenly, she remembered. She had lost in the forest but then…Her eyes widened in fear, there was only one reason to keep a shinobi alive and awake. Torture them for information.

In a panic, Temari desperately tried to bite off her tongue, but suddenly felt a hand shoved into her mouth, so she bit it instead.

Naruto grimaced. He knew what her initial reaction would be, but still, his hand was in a world of pain. He grabbed her head with his other hand and forced her to look at him again.

"First thing," Naruto said in a rather strained voice, "I am not going to torture, kill, violate, abuse or harm you, so for the love of god stop biting my hand!"

Temari dug her teeth in for another second, and then let go, glaring at who she now realized was her captor. Naruto shook his hand to get the blood flowing again, then smiled politely at the struggling girl.

"My name is Fushichou Naruto, and yours is?"

Temari glared, "Screw you."

Naruto's polite smile turned into a grin as he raised his sword and brought it down sharply.

Temari screamed.

He stopped the blade less than an inch above her head. Tears started to form in the corners of her eyes.

"Bastard" Temari growled.

"Your name?" Naruto said, his grin still in place.

"Temari," she spat her name at him, like it was a curse.

Naruto considered this for a moment, and then nodded before turning and walking into the woods.

"Don't go anywhere Temari-san!" He called over his shoulder.

Once he was out of her line of sight, Naruto collapsed against a tree. He had never, in all his years as a shinobi, been the one in control; he had always been someone's subordinate. For he first time ever, he was calling the shots and it scared him senseless.

He knew the 'act like Kisame' trick wouldn't hold up for long, he wasn't that good at being mean. And anyway, the girl had already seen too much of him for releasing her to be an option, so he would have to keep her nearby until he thought of something else.

Naruto resisted the urge to start cursing again.

Now alone, Temari took time to more carefully examine her position. She was sitting on the ground with her back against a tree and her hands were bound behind her. She noticed a moment later that her hair was loose, and pondered this before she tried to move her hands again.

The bastard had bound her with her own hair ties.

Her fan was also nowhere in sight, something that bothered her greatly as she was almost useless in a fight without it.

Just as quickly as he had left, the bastard (as she now referred to him) walked back into her line of sight.

Temari decided that she should start the conversation this time.

"I really hate you," she said, using her most menacing tone.

To her astonishment and indignation, the bastard started to laugh at her.

30 seconds later, he was still laughing and Temari was thinking he'd maybe lost his mind when he finally calmed down and managed to respond.

"YOU hate me?" Naruto said between giggles, "Listen, little girl, there are a very large number of people in this world who hate me, and pretty much all of them are more frightening than you. Hell, I'm more afraid of my sword than I am of you."

It was a minor point that Naruto was actually 3 years younger than the sand-nin, but she didn't need to know that.

Naruto suddenly became serious, "But all that is really unimportant. What is important is that right now, you are in my control, and you are also very pissed off about it."

Not getting any feedback, Naruto continued on, "I'm going to give you a hypothetical situation, and you need to tell me what you'd do, agreed?"

Temari glared. Naruto took that as a yes.

"You," he said, "are a missing-nin, one who has protected their identity so well, there are 3 people in the world who know who you are. Then one day, an enemy sees you, someone who could identify you. Normally you'd kill them, but something is preventing you from doing so. What options are left over?"

Temari had long since figured out where this was going, and didn't like the answer she was coming to.

Seeing she understood his point either way, approached her while continuing to speak.

"So as you can see, there's no point in being angry at me since I have no more control of this situation than you do, I can't kill you and I can't let you go, so now that we understand each other…" he cut through her bindings.

Within half a second, Temari had a hidden kunai in her hand and was getting ready to stab.

A half second later, she was on the ground, her arm twisted around backwards and the kunai now pointed at the back of her neck.

"Ne Temari-san, we will probably have to put up with each other for a while, so please don't do that." Naruto said while removing his sword from his back and placing it next to her, "I need to go hunt for something to eat, you may move 20 feet in any direction, but no further, and must always have this sword right next to you."

He then released her arm and casually walked off into the forest.

As was expected, within moments he felt the sword sending him an image of Temari getting ready to run, so Naruto sent back an image of Temari restrained by fox claws, along with what remained of his chakra.

Temari almost screamed again. When she was about to run, the sword grew clawed arms and grabbed hold of her.

Naruto walked back into the clearing, "one more thing Temari-san, the sword is intelligent," he paused, "but I see you've already learned that." He again walked into the forest.

Temari lay on the forest floor staring at the darkening sky, her arms stretched out and the sword lying silently next to her.

"You know," she said to it, "I've always thought of myself as somewhat of an authority on weird homicidal shinobi, but this guy is something else."

She sighed, "I mean, 24 hours ago I was preparing for a minor role in an invasion, now, my team is probably dead, I'm in a forest somewhere, prisoner of a demon-eyed boy who manages to be polite and terrifying at the same time, and being guarded by a sword!"

Amazingly, the sword remained silent.

"Its like I'm living a twisted nightmare." Temari rested a hand on her forehead as she felt a breeze, but suddenly jumped upright as she heard a voice behind her.

"Is it really that bad? I mean, I know the 'slitted red eyes' thing throws people off but I think 'terrifying' is a little strong. Aaaannnnnd", he said, drawing the word out, "I'll have you know that not a single one of your minions is dead, though I did cripple the blond one…"

Temari glared yet again as Naruto grinned at her.

"So what are we having to eat exactly?" Temari asked annoyedly, she really was hungry.

"One dead rabbit and one box of Double Chocolate Pocky" Naruto said as he grinned wider and held out both hands.

Temari just hung her head. The boy was crazy. He had to be. She would laugh herself silly at him if he couldn't kick her ass so efficiently. Come to think of it, even his sword had immobilized her without much effort. She wasn't even as strong as his weapon!

It was these types of uplifting thoughts that occupied Temari while Naruto set up a fire and started to cook the rabbit.

Food was eaten quickly and both were tired so going to sleep early was the first thing they agreed on all day. Temari had the sword next to her 'keeping watch' as she insisted Naruto stay a decent distance away even though they were just lying on the ground with their clothes on.

They both soon started to drift, but Temari regained her senses enough to ask the drowsy Naruto a question.

"In that hypothetical situation we talked about, why can't I kill the one who saw me?"

He looked over at her, and for one second, she saw something hidden within his eyes.

It was gone in the next moment and he smirked at her, "that's for me to know and you to go crazy wondering about."

It was an answer typical of him, but Temari was awake for another half hour wondering about that momentary flicker of depth.

The morning after the invasion, Tsunade went outside to watch the sun rise. She had been working all night, but their casualties had been far lower than expected.

Gaara was already outside, he to had been awake all night, but it was normal for him. The two stood silently and watched the first rays of light peak over the horizon.

Gaara started to speak hesitantly, "Hokage-sama…I have a…confession to make"

Tsunade didn't even turn her head as she spoke, "Naruto's alive, isn't he?'

Gaara nodded.

Tsunade felt her hands close into fists. She knew she couldn't fault Gaara, Naruto had been the one to make the choice to leave.

She felt blood run out of her hands as her nails dug holes in her skin. Naruto had been here, in this very village.

She hoped he had gotten out before he invasion, but couldn't even imagine what would have brought him here in the first place. Either way, she had no choice in what she was about to do.

She purposefully strode all the way to where she knew Shizune would be planning diplomatic meetings for when they arrived back in Konoha. Tsunade didn't let herself falter, even once.

She interrupted her assistant in the middle of writing a scroll to be sent to the various countries informing them of the sounds defeat.

"Shizune," she said, fighting to keep her voice from breaking, "as of right now, Uzumaki Naruto is hereby registered as an A-class missing-nin, location unknown. Inform the hunters."

Tsunade spun, ignoring the shocked look she was getting, and walked out, fighting her tears.

Oblivious to his plight, the newly official missing-nin was just waking up, feeling extremely refreshed. A night's sleep did wonders for his chakra supply.

He glanced over at Temari and confirmed she was still asleep before taking a moment to think.

At this point, he had two directions he could travel in, East or West. West would take him almost directly to hidden waterfall, but he would still be right above fire country. East was a long trip, but would take him to hidden cloud, much farther away from and an enemy of hidden leaf.

East it was. He needed time to decide what to do with the troublesome sand-nin before he started looking actively for missions, and he had enough money to last a while, though he had lost his extra clothing.

Naruto sighed as Temari started to stir. He really wished Itachi were here, his Sharingan could just awe the girl with their coolness and then she would do whatever she was told. That was one trick the Uchiha had never taught him.

He felt a tug in his mind, and unconsciously gave a bit of chakra. He immediately heard a shout behind him and spun around to see Temari glaring at Seirei Kirite. She turned to Naruto looking livid.

"Your sword just groped me!"

"What…?"

Temari was raging "A glowing red claw just grabbed my ass!"

Naruto looked at her skeptically, but then he started to get a feeling of satisfaction from Kyuubi.

Naruto pinched the bridge of his nose…he really didn't need this first thing in the morning.

"Ok, you," he pointed to the sword, speaking out loud for Temari's benefit, "no manifesting unless there's a reason. And you", he pointed at Temari, "don't give him a reason."

Temari looked indignant and the sword was oozing smugness.

Seeing as both apparently understood, Naruto continued.

"We're heading east as of now. We have no supplies and it's at least a day and a half to the nearest village. Temari, you are to keep the sword on your back at all times, and must always be within 30 feet of me, otherwise, I'll have you restrained and carry you."

Temari suddenly had the feeling that the sword was leering at her; she managed to look furious and slightly embarrassed at the same time.

"Fine," she muttered, "but I need something to tie my hair up with."

"Why?" Naruto immediately asked.

"Two reasons," she said annoyedly, "it falls in my face, making it hard to see and looks stupid."

Naruto pondered this for a moment, "Speaking as someone who has spent his life around whiny girls who spend all say on their appearance, your hair looks fine, and I'm the only one who can see it anyway. But if your having trouble seeing, there's always the option of being carried…"

"I'll be fine," she growled.

They were soon moving through the forest at a fast pace, Temari wondering the whole time whether the first part of the bastard's last comment had been a compliment or insult.

The news that Naruto had been registered as a Nukenin spread like wildfire through the Leaf camp.

It was quickly the most popular topic of gossip in camp, a great number of shinobi were already pushing to have a special squad of hunter-nin devoted just to killing the fox boy.

Tsunade had known this would happen, but she also knew she couldn't allow her personal feelings to get in the way of what had to be done.

She felt a presence behind her and turned to see Umino Iruka standing nervously by the door of her tent. She gestured for him to enter, and he did, bowing quickly.

"Hokage-sama, I've been hearing some," the brown haired chuunin paused, "unsettling rumors around camp and wanted to confirm them with you. Is it true that you registered Naruto as a missing-nin?"

Tsunade nodded, "It now appears that he faked his own death to cover his…betrayal." She finished sadly.

Iruka looked at the ground sadly, "In that case, Hokage-sama, there's something I'd like to give you. I want you to seriously consider it, please." He handed her a piece of paper before running out of the tent.

Tsunade looked at what he had given her and her eyes widened.

It was an application to join the hunter-nin.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Authors Notes: No killing in this chapter, but I rather like it.

Next Chapter: Naruto and Kyuubi play chess, Temari takes a bath with Seirei Kirite, and Shikamaru wakes up.

Translation Notes:

Kirigakure no Jutsu – Hidden Mist Technique

Nukenin – Missing-nin

Fushichou – Phoenix

Seirei Kirite – spirit cutter


	11. Not Quite Checkmate

Once again, Naruto found himself in a rather difficult situation. They had made decent time and were now only an hour or two away from a small town on the border of sound country. Temari had been thankfully quiet for the latest part of their journey, as Naruto needed to come up with some way to control her within the town.

Glowing red arms grabbing onto people was the kind of attention he didn't want, so he would have to be subtler in populated areas. He knew that constant physical contact was out of the question; they both needed clean clothing and a bath.

His answer came in form of an image from Kyuubi. Naruto knew the sand girl wouldn't like it, but that was probably why the demon had suggested it.

He held up a hand and the two shinobi stopped, landing on the ground almost in unison.

Temari turned to him with a glare, as he noted she always seemed to do. This meant she was at least less afraid of him now, though whether that was good or bad he couldn't decide.

"Why are we stopping so close to a village!" The irate girl demanded to know.

"As I'm sure you know," Naruto said, "it will be more difficult to watch you once we're in town."

Temari had known that for days, she was counting on it and would be looking for a chance to escape.

"And you also know," he continued, "that my normal methods of restraining you won't work. So, with help from Seirei Kirite, I have come up with a solution."

Naruto walked over to the girl, took the sword of her back and with a flick of a kunai, cut a small hole in her clothes right above her waist.

She of course, had something to say about this, "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING!"

Naruto grabbed her arm and calmly replaced the sword on her back, covering the hole.

"This way," he said, "if you cause problems, the manifested restraints can go under your clothing"

At this point, Naruto wasn't sure if she was red from embarrassment or anger.

"There is, of course, another option, but I didn't think you'd go for having to hold my hand 24/7. And if you don't try to run or kill me, it won't be a problem either way."

The unfortunate thing was that she had been planning on trying to escape or kill him, or more likely both. Temari knew she had lost this battle, but she was determined to win the war. He would have to slip up eventually; she would be there when he did.

The two shinobi jumped back into the trees and went on their way.

They arrived in town rather late, so Naruto led his rebellious but tired prisoner to one of the first good hotels he saw. He could afford it, and they had been sleeping on the ground for 2 nights.

He got a regular 2-bed room and quickly dragged Temari upstairs. Their odd appearance and gigantic sword had been drawing attention. Once inside, Naruto set down some rules.

"Ok, your leaving this room requires one of two things, either your with me, or you've told me where your going and you take Seirei Kirite."

Temari got annoyed, "This place had public baths, or am I supposed to just not wash myself?"

Naruto did a few hand seals. One cloud of smoke later, he was a dark haired girl. (He had modified his usual sexy no jutsu to include clothes)

He grinned. "Me or the sword, your pick."

Temari had a choice between a annoying boy and a creepy sword. The sword didn't talk.

She took Seirei Kirite.

Temari slid into the water still holding onto the sword. The bathing area was empty and she didn't want to give the blade ANY chance to 'restrain' her while she was unclothed.

Once she was settled, she held the sword up out of the water. She had never actually spent much time looking at it before.

The handle was ordinary, but that was where normalcy ended. The blade reflected almost no light at all, no matter how she angled it. She moved on to the etching. It amazed her even now; both sides were carved in a mirror image of each other.

The carving was perfect, the two great monsters locked in combat truly looked alive. She started at the hilt, where the fox's tails started, and slowly ran her hand across the engraved image.

Near the middle of the blade, the fox and dragon twisted around each other, both trying to land a fatal blow. The scene was obviously near the end of a battle, but Temari realized with a start that no one would ever know which one won the fight.

The two would be forever frozen in the moment right before the victor was decided.

Temari realized that she had never asked how or why the sword was sentient, she just accepted it. After all, her little brother carried intelligent sand around with him, so who was she to question an intelligent sword?

But now she was curious. She sank deeper into the warm water and decided to ask him about it later.

Back in the room, Naruto was smacking himself in the head.

Naruto had been working over a map, planning their route to and through lightning country, when the Kyuubi had decided it would be fun to send random pictures of a wet Temari directly into Naruto's mind every few seconds. The demon was careful to make sure each image was at an angle such that it suggested everything and revealed nothing.

Kyuubi grinned to himself within the sword. This was fun. He had never had the chance to do things like this before and it was a novel experience. Hell, he though as Naruto started banging his head on the table, terrorizing these two was almost as much fun as obliterating a village. Almost.

Temari arrived back at their room an hour later, wrapped in a towel and carrying her clothes. Naruto didn't even glance up from where he was laying on his bed; he knew he would blush if he did.

Temari washed her clothes in the bathroom, as Naruto had done while she was bathing. She had spent enough time with her captor to know something weird was going on when he was quiet for this long. She estimated that he should have made at least 3 wisecracks by now.

She emerged from the bathroom a short time later still wrapped in her towel, but Naruto could see as he glanced over that she was wearing her net shirt under it. Unlike the fox boy, she crawled under the covers of her bed.

Temari stared at the ceiling for a few moments, but quickly found herself drifting off.

She was awakened sometime later, but a silent glance at the clock showed it to be only 2:00 AM. A lamp was on in the room, and a moment later Temari noticed Naruto sitting at the table in the corner. Seirei Kirite was leaning against the other side of the table and Naruto was studying something on top.

"Are you aware it's two o'clock in the morning?" Temari half-murmured.

"Yeah"

Temari glanced at what he was studying on the table.

"Why are you playing chess with yourself?' she asked.

"I'm not" came Naruto's reply

"Who are you playing with then?" Temari asked skeptically, but as she finished speaking, a clawed hand reached out of the sword and moved a piece.

Temari blinked, "Your sword plays chess?"

Naruto nodded, "he's pretty good at it to."

"Oh…" Temari paused for a moment; "The question I'm leading up to here is why are you playing chess with your sword at 2 AM?"

Naruto took his opponents Knight with one of his bishops

"Couldn't sleep"

Temari paused again, "Where did you get the chess set?"

Kyuubi took Naruto's rook with his queen

"Stole it from the game room downstairs"

"Oh…" Temari just sat there for a moment.

She slowly got out of bed and wrapped a blanket around herself before pulling a chair up to their table and silently watching them play.

The boy felt himself drifting in pleasant darkness. There was nothing here, no one to bother him.

Suddenly, he heard rather screechy voices surrounding him, and started to notice that his left arm hurt.

Shikamaru opened his eyes and sighed. "Troublesome"

The moment Tsunade heard Shikamaru was awake, she insisted all others leave the room so she could debrief him personally.

She sat next to his bed on a foldable chair.

"So your absolutely sure" The Hokage said, "that it was a fox head that bit you"

The shadow user nodded slowly, "Yes, a red fox head. It appeared to be a chakra manifestation"

Tsunade was impressed, but Shikamaru was both the laziest and most observant person she knew, so if he said it had been a fox, it had been a fox.

She knew what that meant.

She slowly walked out of the room and turned to the waiting Shizune, "Naruto's status is now upgraded, he is now an S-class missing-nin. He was the one who attacked the northern gate. Kyuubi is active enough to manifest, I want the best Hunter-nin and ANBU we have on this. The demon CANNOT be allowed to break loose."

The great irony of course being that at that moment in time, the great demon fox was about as dangerous as a housecat without Naruto to give him chakra.

Currently, Naruto was quite contentedly snoring in bed. Temari had woken up first and was already dressed. She had momentarily considered making a break for the door, but Seirei Kirite's presence mocked her, as if daring her to run.

She looked at the sword again and out of sheer curiosity, started to count the tails on the fox. She had known there were more than 6, but never actually counted.

"7….8….9……………..9 tails…..a 9-tailed fox" something tickled in Temari's memory, a connection she had missed and couldn't get a hold of. She looked around the room and saw Naruto's wallet sitting on the table.

It was a frog.

Her eyes widened.

Gaara. The girl pinned against the tree. Gaara transformed. The Frog. The Fox.

Uzumaki Naruto.

He must have left his village only a short time after she last saw him, after the failed rescue of Uchiha Sasuke.

Almost everything about him had changed, but she was sure it was him all the same. This was the boy who had beaten her brother. The one who was supposed to be dead.

Temari suddenly thought of his new name. Fushichou Naruto. One who was burned alive and reborn from the ashes of his demise.

Of all her revelations, it was this one that stayed with her as she watched him awake.

Naruto knew something was wrong the moment he woke up. Temari sitting on a chair near the end of his bed and was looking at him thoughtfully, she had never done that before.

"I want you to promise to answer a question truthfully," the sand girl said carefully.

Sensing humor wouldn't be appreciated right now, Naruto just nodded.

Temari took a deep breath, "How did Uzumaki Naruto really die?"

Of all the questions in the world, that had been the one Naruto had been least expecting, but it was at least, he thought sadly, one he knew the answer to.

"He died," the boy said with a dark smile, "from broken dreams and a broken heart."

The both sat in silence for a few minutes, then Naruto quietly got out of bed, put his vest and shoes on, and slid Seirei Kirite into place on his back.

He walked to the door of their room and stopped. Temari stood up, put on her shoes, and they walked out the door together.

Temari would later wonder what might have happened had she not followed him that day. But, she would then amend; it hadn't really been her decision. In that moment, whatever fear or desire to escape she had was overcome by a need to understand.

And so she followed.

Iruka stared into the mirror and the white mask that stared back. The decision to don the mask had been easy. Iruka knew Naruto better than anyone, so no one would be a better choice for hunting the boy down. The problems would arise, he knew, when he did find the boy.

What was he going to do, ask the boy to come back? As much as Iruka hated to admit it, Naruto had engineered and executed an almost perfect fake death, one that had fooled the whole village for weeks.

The problem was, that kind of planning was proof that his leaving had been premeditated, and not just spontaneous. There was no leniency in the law when it came to that type of treason.

A shinobi who left the village in a way that suggested it had been planned was to be killed on sight.

Iruka didn't think he could live with that; he had to talk to Naruto first.

The brown haired man carefully removed his new mask and massaged his face. He would wait, and decide what to do when he saw Naruto.

Gaara wasn't sure what to think. The news that Temari had disappeared in an attack by Naruto was both comforting and disturbing at the same time. Gaara was sure Naruto wouldn't hurt his sister, but that really didn't make the thought of his sister being held captive by a Nukenin, even Naruto, more likable.

Kankuro hadn't taken it nearly so well, and had gone to vent his anger on some trees.

Gaara stared up at the sky. He and Kankuro had been called back to hidden sand alon with the rest of the sand nins. They would leave the next day.

The sand swirled around him anxiously, he hated to leave without Temari, but she could be anywhere. He would have to trust Naruto to take care of her, and for the fox boy's sake, he better be trustworthy.

Hiroshi ran through the forest, surrounded by his squad. The Hokage had deployed them 10 hours before; she had mobilized more than half the Hunter-nin for this. Squads were sent to all nearby towns, told they were hunting an S-class criminal named 'Uzumaki'. Everyone, of course, knew what that meant.

The demon child.

As an added bonus, Hiroshi had heard that he had taken a sand girl along with him. Hiroshi had lost his brother to the war with the sand and figured that if his squad found them, he might have to engineer a little 'accident' involving the sand-nin.

Currently, the aforementioned sans-nin was shopping. It hadn't taken her 30 seconds after leaving the hotel to realize that the sword no longer covered the hole Naruto had made in her clothing.

Naruto was now carrying his sword, as there wouldn't be any need to restrain her. They had come to a kind of unspoken understanding, she knew enough now that if she ran, he would probably be forced to hunt her down and kill her. She knew he really didn't want to do that, and she didn't really want to die. They both knew she wouldn't run.

And so she was now looking for new clothes. Naruto had given her 15000 yen to spend (mostly) as she liked and had gone off to buy traveling supplies. Temari had never been a shopping person, primarily because she always wore the same thing, but Naruto had insisted she get some pants and at least one regular shirt.

She had growled for a little while, as she was very fond of her net shirts, but complied anyway. He was the one paying, after all.

Naruto arrived back an hour later to see Temari looking rather stressed, but holding a shopping bag of clothes. Naruto himself was carrying a large duffle. Once they arrived back at the room, Naruto opened the bag and started pulling out its contents one by one, naming them as he went.

"Some new pants to replace the pair I lost, 2 extra light sleeping bags, new underwear, magnetic chess set, whetstone, dehydrated soup, a pot, Pocky, soap, oh and," he pulled out a small package and threw them to her with a smirk, "new hair ties."

Temari glared, but it was halfhearted. Things were still slightly awkward between them.

Temari had accepted that trying to escape was pointless. Eventually, she knew Naruto would let her go, but it still felt somehow wrong to be acting like the two of them were just two shinobi on a mission, when she technically was his prisoner.

Naruto was getting nervous; she was looking at him thoughtfully again.

The boy got refocused when he thought of the plan he had made the evening before. He pulled out his map and laid it out on table.

"This," he said, pointing to a small dot on the eastern border on sound country, "is where we are now."

Naruto went on to describe the approximate location of Hidden Cloud and the path they would have to travel to get there, but it was the end of his speech that made Temari jump.

"and when we arrive, I'm going to let you go." The boy finished, "my village will figure out my secret soon anyway, and the cloud has no hostilities with the sand, so you should be able to find your way home."

Things didn't seem so bad all of a sudden; Temari now had a goal to work towards. It would be a week at least to hidden cloud, but it meant that she could be home in the sand within the month.

Temari would have liked to leave that moment, but Naruto wanted to take a bath himself (which he had neglected to do the day before) and eat a meal in town, as it would be 2 days to the next one.

The two paid the hotel manager and left right after diner. Temari got to carry the duffle since Naruto had his sword to haul around, but she complained about it regularly, just to annoy him. The Nukenin and his prisoner were almost to the edge of town when they passed a small sushi shop.

Above them on the roof, Hiroshi smiled as he looked at the picture in his hand. It was his lucky day.

Naruto felt his shinobi sense tingling as soon as he passed the sushi shop, so it was with relative calmness that he shoved Temari into an alley, drew his sword and spun to deflect some needles aimed at his neck in one smooth motion.

There were 6 hunters that he could see, and there would be one spotter somewhere. Naruto ran down the street, staying close to the buildings. Even hunters couldn't throw Jutsus around in populated areas.

He leaped into the air and spun, releasing Seirei Kirite, before landing and running along a building wall while flashing through seals.

The hunters scattered as the huge sword sailed passed them, but failed to notice when it split into 9.

Naruto jumped off the wall, landing on the ground just in time to catch his sword and go into a spinning slice, dispatching a hunter who had tried get into close combat.

A second hunter came at him from behind, while the other three tried to hit a vital point with their needles. Naruto snorted; these weaklings had nothing on Haku. He spun again, deflecting the needles with the flat of the blade and bringing it around to face the hunter who had tried to attack his rear.

Seirei Kirite flashed again, the second hunter fell.

Apart from a few needles in uncomfortable places, Naruto was uninjured. Three hunters faced him in the street, deciding how they should attack.

He never gave them a chance. He let his body flow into the death stance and watched them freeze up in terror. They would be able to fight it off in a few seconds. Kyuubi didn't need half that much time.

The sword shadow clones came from behind, as they had with Chouji. Without the added bulk of Multi-size no jutsu, none of them stood a chance.

Various pieces of hunter-nin lay in the street, but Naruto wasn't paying attention. There had been 6. Where was the last one…

He spun with a growl and ran back towards the alley.

To say that Temari was shocked would be an understatement. She sat in the darkness between the two buildings with mixed feelings. She knew the presence of the hunter-nin meant she was safe and could go home, but there was a part of her that would mourn the death of the odd boy she had spent four days with.

A leaf hunter-nin landed in front of her and offered her a hand getting up. She smiled sadly as she reached for it, but then noticed a glint in his other hand. Her eyes widened, the hunter was concealing a knife and slowly drawing the arm back for a stab.

It's a common misconception that in the game of chess, a player wins when he kills the oponents king. In reality, a player wins when his opponents king is put in such a position where, no matter what he does, he dies.

Temari had one more move.

Naruto arrived just in time to see Temari trip the final hunter and slam a Kunai into his face. The mask split, revealing the mans face just long enough for him to whisper, _"sand bitch"_ and fall, blood oozing around the knife sticking out of his forehead.

Naruto rushed to catch Temari as she collapsed.

She had just killed a leaf hunter, one sent to kill a Nukenin she was traveling with. Right now the spotter for the squad was rushing back to inform his superiors of what happened.

Within 24 hours, she would be labeled as a missing-nin. Hours ago she had been looking forward to seeing her village in under a month. She would probably never see her village again. But she was alive.

There was nothing Naruto could say, so he just sat, soaked in blood, and held her as she sobbed.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Authors Notes: I had trouble writing this chapter, not sure why.

On a completely different note, someone mentioned Naruto's hair color in a review, and I decided I was going to look up what color "dark maroon" really is. I knew what I imagined it as, and the real thing is pretty close. It's a very dark shade of red with just a hint of purple.

Next Chapter: Temari adjusts, Ino whines, and Gaara throws a temper tantrum


	12. Culinary Philosophy

It is again time to answer questions.

I get the general feeling some people don't understand how the Hunter-nin recognized Naruto. They didn't, it was a picture of Temari they had.

Shuriell

Que: do you actually write this fast or have you completed an amount of chapters and only post one a day? If so could you give me an estimate when you will take longer to post again?

Ans:I pretty much post chapters as I finish them, though I don't think of my writing as fast. I actually write slowly, I just have 4 hours a day to devote to it. That makes it hard to answer the second question, I'll try to update once every day or at least twice every three days, but it might slow down if I get a lot of homework or something.

PersonaJXT

Que: i wonder if u realize the exchange rate between yen and dollars is like 1 to 10

Ans: the correct exchange rate is closer to 1 to 100, actually. So Temari got aprox. 150

**Authors Notes:** This is another one of those 'setting things up' chapters, so I apologize for the shortness.

This chapter contains the first (if brief) appearance of Kakashi, enjoy him while you can, as his role in the story will be small.

After answering Shuriell's question above, I looked at the date and realized that I've written 12 chapters (some 35000 words) in 13 days. I think that's pretty fast, but am generaly more concerned that I don't rush and put up a chapter I don't like. As I mentioned above, the actual speed of my writing is pretty slow. I get most of my ideas while listening to music, so sometimes I'll need to listen for 45 minutes to overcome a block.

On a similar note, the uncharacteristically serious chapter 11 is probably a direct result of my listening to 'Phantom of the Opera' to many times. This chapter is (I think) somewhat lighter, though get ready for more obscure analogies.

* * *

Temari sat up against a tree, her arms wrapped around her legs and her eyes staring off into space. Naruto was starting a fire to cook a dehydrated rice dish he had picked up. 

Both were in an odd state. They had been running for 16 hours, and had been up for more than 24. Despite that; neither felt like sleeping.

After finally getting the fire started, Naruto walked over and sat against the tree next to Temari, he grabbed a stick of Pocky out of the package he kept in one of his shuriken holsters and started to slowly munch.

"Did you know," he asked the girl, "that I once ate fried rice made by the third Hokage?"

Temari was silent.

"I've since then discovered", he continued, "that much of a persons personality is defined by the food they eat. The third liked fried rice, which is basically made up of things that are healthy, but is fried in oil to make it just a little bit sinful."

Temari turned to look at him slightly as he went on.

"Iruka, who you don't know, always ate ramen with me at a stand. Ramen is cheap, warm and filling. Iruka was always like that, never wanting anything in return for the kindness he showed everyone."

Temari now had most of her attention focused on Naruto's words.

"Then," Naruto held up his snack, "we have Pocky, an inherent contradiction. A pretzel stick, covered in chocolate. These two sides make it almost impossible to define, it is neither good nor bad for you, neither sweet nor salty, it is ambiguous, it just is."

Naruto took another bite, "The first person I ate Pocky with was a psychopath who murdered his family. He was also the person who taught me the skills that saved both our lives. These two sides seem impossible to reconcile, until you stop thinking in terms of good and evil."

Naruto finished his stick and grabbed another, "Yesterday, I killed 5 people from my old village in less than 60 seconds, but I needed to do it for us to survive. I don't think of myself as good or evil. I, like Pocky, just continue to exist."

Naruto took his Pocky out of his holster and set it on the ground before standing up and going over to check on the fire. Temari slowly reached and took a stick out of the open pack. She set her head on her knees as she took a bite, smiling ever so slightly.

Tsunade was tense. The camp was being packed and the shinobi were getting ready to head back to Konoha, and this meant making arrangements for all the wounded, making sure they had a way to get home.

Shizune rushed up to her, "Hokage-sama, we have another problem with Yamanaka Ino."

Tsunade sighed, "What this time?"

"She was disturbing the other patients again."

"So? She does that constantly."

"She was explaining to another patient how horrible it was to try and find anything that looked fashionable in a wheelchair."

"And…"

"The patient she was explaining this to had his face horribly scarred and both his eyes burned out by a fire jutsu, he apparently had a small mental breakdown after listening to her for 20 minutes"

Tsunade swore, "have a chuunin watch her constantly, that girl has less tact than Jiraiya in a bath house"

Shizune rushed off just as another shinobi rushed up carrying a scroll, which Tsunade snatched and started to read. Her face went white as a sheet.

Gaara and Kankuro were just preparing to leave when a leaf chuunin ran up to them and whispered something in Gaara's ear.

"Our sister's been WHAT?" Gaara bellowed, causing every breathing being within 60 feet to freeze.

Gaara was really fighting the urge to squish someone right now. He stormed through the camp, his sand spinning around him, picking up random things and flinging them around. He looked rather like a sand tornado.

His storm was normally limited to picking up non-living things. Tents, chairs, packed boxes of this or that, but it also picked up the odd shinobi or small child, and most were rather displeased with being flung in random directions. He figured the Hokage would get complaints later, but really didn't care.

Surprisingly, Kankuro was also fighting the urge to squish someone. He almost started setting off poison bombs the moment Gaara had told him. Though not as impressive as his younger brother, Kankuro was pissed as hell, and was following in Gaara's wake.

Tsunade suddenly found herself exposed as a walking sandstorm disintegrated her tent.

"Can I help you?" The Hokage asked politely.

Instead of squishing her, he settled for his most menacing glare. "Why has my sister been registered as a missing-nin?"

Tsunade was getting nervous, "She was reported to have killed one of the hunter-nin sent to find Naruto…the whole squad less one was wiped out."

Gaara continued to glare, "And therefore, the last member must be the one who told you these lies about Temari."

Tsunade was starting to squirm, "Until I learn otherwise…I have to assume he's telling the truth."

The sand started to swirl more violently and Kankuro stepped forward to back his little brother up if he needed it.

Kakashi calmly walked between the Hokage and the demon boy, reading his porn book and laughing to himself, completely immune to the tension.

The eyes of over 60 onlookers watched the copy ninja as he wandered off again, completely ignorant.

Gaara growled, Kakashi had killed the mood. He spun on his heels, calling over his shoulder, "No sand hunters will pursue her, I will see to that. If you want to throw away the lives of your shinobi," Gaara grinned, "feel free."

The sand user stomped away, wishing he was half as confident as he sounded. Temari didn't even have her fan, which meant she'd be mostly useless in any difficult fight. He was hoping his confidence might have thrown the Hokage off for a little while, but knew that even if his ploy worked, it wouldn't for long. Soon she would deploy the Hunter-nin again.

Gaara had limited power, but he could stop the sand hunters and he could, and would, make the Hokage's life as difficult as possible. He needed to talk to Baki.

The Hokage had sent the hunters report to Iruka before she sent the messenger to Gaara and now strode purposefully into his tent to see what he thought. She then strode purposefully back out, blushing slightly, as she had walked in on him changing.

A minute later, Iruka blushingly invited her in, but things soon turned serious.

"Hokage-sama," the chuunin began, " before anything else, you must first promise that you will not send any other hunter squads to be slaughtered without consulting me."

Tsunade raised an eyebrow at his presumptuousness, but nodded.

"We have unfortunately," Iruka continued, "put Naruto in his most dangerous state. In taking the sand girl, he took responsibility for her, and now that she's been declared a missing-nin, Naruto will blame himself for that to. That unfortunately means that Naruto will do anything to keep her alive. He isn't desperate, but he is ruthless, and no ordinary squad can fight him with any decent hope of victory."

Tsunade let the chuunin continue as he shifted gears.

"The first thing we have to do is clear up some misconceptions, Naruto is incredibly clever, and we can't underestimate him. From the report I read, he killed the hunter-nin primarily with Taijutsu, and very quickly, so we have no idea what types of ninjutsu he's picked up in his time away. Another point is Naruto's sword, where did he get it? What does it do? The report talked about the sword splitting into many and acting independently, as if they were controlled. That has to be looked into"

Tsunade just stood there as Iruka continued to talk.

"Next, the idea that Kyuubi is breaking the seal is absurd, if the demon is manifesting, it's to help Naruto fight, but we need to confirm that to, it sounds unlikely. As for the boy's changed appearance," Iruka glanced at the report again, "I'll explain that later. Right now, I need you to gather these people, this is the team I'll need."

Tsunade ran her eyes down the list and looked slightly shocked.

"But…..this is……"

Iruka nodded, "When we go after Naruto, we need those people, otherwise, its useless. He dispatched 5 chuunin with only Taijutsu. That skill, combined with the mist Jutsu he used in the attack on the north gate, would allow him to fight even a jounin squad, but I can counter it if you give me the right team."

Tsunade turned to leave, but Iruka had one more thing to say, "Oh, and Hokage-sama, I'll need the shinobi ID photos for Gaara and Sasuke copied onto clear plastic. Call me when everything is ready."

Tsunade glared slightly, "you better have one hell of a presentation for us, Iruka."

He looked at the ground sadly, "Oh, I will. Be sure of that."

Naruto and Temari sat around their fire eating breakfast. Thankfully, both had been able to sleep the night before and were now not quite so tired. Naruto was currently trying to convince Temari that her life wasn't over, and unfortunately for her village loyalty, he was winning the argument.

"I mean really," the fox boy was saying, "how many people in your old village were even decent to you? From what I hear, your life has been training and taking crap from the villagers."

Temari didn't say anything since the only comeback she had come up with was that she kind of liked training.

"I realize that you miss your family," he continued, "but I really can't see either of your brothers condemning you for this, and who cares what the rest of the village thinks."

Temari was being swayed by his argument, but suddenly glared.

"There is," she said, "the minor issue of spending your life being hunted."

Naruto shrugged, "Gaara scares the hidden sand way too much for them to hunt you, and as for hidden leaf, they'll give up sooner or later."

Sensing she was bending, Naruto went on. "Can you even remember the last time you did something fun? And I mean fun in a 'not killing people' kind of way. I understand that you didn't ask for this, but there are many worse fates."

Temari snorted, "like what?"

Naruto smiled, "Having a demon inside you."

Temari stopped and looked at him for a moment, "I really can't argue with that, can I?"

His smile became a grin, "No"

She sighed, "But even if I went along with being a missing-nin, I'd need a new fan. Battle fans are only made in hidden sand, and even then, not many are manufactured."

This, Naruto realized, would be a problem. But he had ways of dealing with problems.

"Wait a sec," he said, "I need to consult with someone."

Naruto let himself drop into a meditative state and soon found himself in the passages of his mind, the chibi fox already waiting for him. The fox looked absolutely ecstatic, and Naruto wasn't sure if this was good or bad.

Kyuubi got straight to the point, "I have a sand battle fan, a very nice one too…"

"But, of course," Naruto said, "you want something in exchange. What?"

"Naturally," the demon said, "I want a greater chakra allowance. Tripled."

Naruto looked at the demon carefully. Tripling his allowance would give the demon access to a quarter of his chakra.

"Deal", the boy said, "how do we get this fan of yours?"

"We need to summon a gate to my 'storage area', it's a relatively simple jutsu, it just requires a lot of chakra…. and there's one other problem."

"That being…"

"I need to be the one to do the jutsu," Kyuubi said.

Naruto looked at the demon suspiciously, "why?"

"The jutsu cuts through space, and the user has to know the correct seals, the 'address', so to speak, of wherever they're going. I'm not giving you a free pass to raid my ancient collection of treasures whenever you want. If you want the fan, I do the jutsu. Just stick the sword in any vertical surface, walk through the gate, grab the fan, walk out."

"Fine," Naruto agreed, "but if I get the slightest feeling of being tricked…"

Naruto let the threat hang in the air and let himself come back out to the real world, where Temari was looking at him oddly.

"I was talking with my sword, he has a way to get a fan for you." Naruto said as an explanation.

He walked through the forest, looking for a suitable surface while Temari asked a question.

"So who is it in that sword, anyway? Some shinobi that was caught on the wrong of a sealing jutsu or something?"

Naruto shook his head, still looking for a vertical surface, "Nah, greater demon, more specifically, the nine-tails demon fox."

Temari had stopped moving about 3 seconds before.

"The Kyuubi no Kitsune is in your SWORD."

Naruto looked at her oddly, "yeah…it used to be in my stomach, but a forbidden jutsu used in the forging of my sword changed that. Why?"

Actually, Temari really couldn't think of a reason why. It just seemed like having a greater demon in your sword was something to make a big deal about.

"So let me get this straight, the demon fox has a fan I can use?"

Naruto shook his head, "You can have it, I'm giving him more chakra in exchange."

"And where exactly is this fan?" Temari asked skeptically.

Naruto held out a hand to silence her as he found what he needed, a large rock had broken in half, leaving a flat surface. He slammed Seirei Kirite into the rock and watched as it started to glow, then the sword sank into the rock as a black doorway appeared.

Temari's jaw hung slack as Naruto calmly walked in. He found himself in what appeared to be nothing more than a large room with white walls. It was filled with, well, everything. Stuff was everywhere, but Naruto figured a huge fan couldn't be hard to find, and he was proven right a short time later as he hauled it out from under a pile of scrolls and what looked like a gold statue of an unnamed shinobi.

Temari continued to stand frozen as Naruto emerged from the door a few minutes later, carrying a large fan. He turned as the door closed behind him and Seirei Kirite appeared to grow out of the blackness until the door was gone and the sword was exactly where Naruto had slammed it.

He pulled his blade from the rock, replacing it on his back and handed the fan to Temari.

"It's amazing," he said, "how useful a demon can be sometimes."

Temari wasn't listening.

She was in awe of what he had just handed to her.

Temari had always used a basic battle fan, she had been using it for years, but had never been given a new one and had never complained. What she held now was a master's fan.

The frame was dark metal, and the fan was a good foot longer than her old one. Nothing appeared much different on the outside, but Temari knew, when she opened it…

With a subtle motion, the fan snapped open, and even Naruto took a momentary break from his babbling to admire it.

The fan was painted to look like a sunset, and no inch of it was left uncolored. It was filled with reds and purples and pinks that made it look like the real thing. Temari hadn't known what the pattern painted on would be, but all master fans were pained to look like they lit the air itself on fire when swung.

It was the most amazing thing she had ever seen.

After his moment of admiration, Naruto went back to his ponderings about the many uses of having a demon. It was for that reason that, moments later, his brain shut down.

His eyes told him Temari wasn't where she had been standing a moment ago. His ears only heard breathing. His nose smelled soap. His sense of taste wasn't receiving anything, but that was more than made up for by touch. Naruto wasn't someone experienced with full body contact, and never with a girl. But that was most definitely what was happening now. He unconsciously noted that in addition to all the previously mentioned things, he couldn't move.

In other words, Temari was giving him a hug.


	13. Dastardly Plotting

Temari sat in the forest with her new fan in her lap, laughing hysterically. Naruto looked over from where he was cooking supper and raised an eyebrow.

"Whats so funny, exactly?" The boy asked.

Temari tried to control herself, "In our village (giggle)… there's always been the legend that wind masters could ignite the air. I always thought (snicker) that it was because their fans were painted to look like it."

She started to laugh again and held up her fan for him to see, on the inside of the frame were carved words, starting with the Kanji for "Kaze Nenshou no Justu"

The burning winds technique.

Temari looked at Naruto, "There are only three fans like this in all of hidden sand, and they never make more. There are over 40 wind users who are jounin level and only three of them know the jutsu I just read over. I've spent 9 years training with my battle fan, 300 swings a day, and learned a few low and mid level skills. In the first week I spend with you, I find what's probably among the most powerful wind jutsus in existence."

After saying it, Temari wasn't sure what she thought of this new revelation. Naruto, however, just shrugged.

"So? My strength has at least doubled in the couple months it's been since I left Konoha, It's to be expected of missing-nins."

Seeing Temari's curiosity, he elaborated.

"The idea of a hidden village is that it teaches a certain set of skills, which it keeps secret. For example, mist jutsus aren't taught in hidden leaf and fire jutsus are rarely taught in hidden mist. This means that people are very limited in what they learn. Nukenins, on the other hand, have no such restrictions."

He continued on, checking the food as he did so.

"The sword I use is a mist sword, no one in leaf uses such weapons, but I do because it suits me. I know that you love your fan, but I can and intend to teach you every jutsu I know. It's a sharing of resources, and its what makes missing-nins so strong."

Temari nodded, though the idea of learning foreign jutsus sounded odd to her, it made a lot of sense.

Seeing the food was cooked, Naruto took it off the fire and sat down next to Temari's fan. His own words had given him an idea.

"How long," he asked, "will it take you to learn that fire jutsu written on your fan?"

Temari thought for a moment, "assuming we spend most of each day traveling, about a week to be good enough to use it, but completely mastering a jutsu like this takes years"

Naruto started digging through scroll pouches on his vest, he finally found what he was looking for and passed it to her. It was the scroll of basic stealth jutsus from hidden mist the old barber had given him .

"I want you," he said, "to learn the first jutsu in that scroll, Mizu Gyoushuku no jutsu (water condensation technique), it's a basic jutsu used to help people learn Kirigakure no jutsu. It supersaturates the air around you with water, like on a very humid day."

"And why," Temari asked, "am I doing this?"

Naruto started to eat and spoke between bites, "I have an idea, but I won't say anything else until I see this 'burning winds technique' of yours. More importantly, if we move at a steady pace, I expect the next hunter squad to catch up to us in just under two weeks, I want to be ready for them when they appear."

Naruto took a bite of rice and chewed for a minute, "They won't make the same mistakes as last time, they'll be far better prepared, and there'll probably be more of them. All this means that not only will I need your help this time, we need to plan in advance."

Temari set down her fan and grabbed some food for herself, and the two spent the evening talking. By the time Temari slid her fan into her sleeping bag and crawled in next to it, her mind was a whirlwind of activity. She had just decided to help ambush a group of leaf-nin, allies of her country. Her status as a Nukenin would be unquestionable after this.

Somehow, that thought didn't bother her nearly so much as it should have.

* * *

As the leaf army set up camp for the night, Tsunade sent a messenger to Iruka. She had finally arranged for the transfer of everyone he needed. She had temporarily transferred 7 shinobi to the hunter-nin and their first group briefing was to start in 10 minutes. 

When said time arrived, Iruka strode into a tent of mostly confused looking faces. Iruka quickly took control.

"Everyone, SHUT UP!" he called, silencing the group. "As some of you know," he continued, "you are here because you have been temporarily put under my command for a very important mission. That is to find and incapacitate Uzumaki Naruto by any means necessary"

Iruka saw a couple people gasp slightly and went on, "I want each of you to tell me, now, why you've been selected for this team. You need to understand that before anything else, go from right to left."

The person on Iruka's far right stood.

"I am here," Morino Ibiki said, "because I am the best personality analyzer in Konoha. My purpose is to study the targets movements and figure out what he'll do next."

Iruka had done some digging and discovered that Ibiki had played a similar role in the hunt for Uchiha Itachi.

Ibiki sat and the second person stood, "I am here," said Hyuuga Neji, "to act as a scout for the squad."

Iruka was pleased with that answer, he had been afraid the Hyuuga might start into a speech about destiny.

The third member stood, "As troublesome as it is, I am here to strategize, and because I'm the only one to see Naruto's powers of manifestation." Shikamaru added a grumble for added effect.

Number four stood, "I guess I'm here because I'm somewhat…experienced with the habits of S-class criminals." Anko smirked as she finished.

The fifth member just looked lost, so Iruka stepped in.

"Tenten is here," he said, "because she has by far the most experience with weapons, and as of now, we know nothing about the sword Naruto carries or how to counter it"

The sixth member stood and casually put his book away, "I guess I'm here because Naruto was on my team, so I know him pretty well, and of course, because I'm a jounin."

All the gennin and chuunin glared. Kakashi just smiled under his mask.

The seventh member stood looking only slightly nervous, "Tsunade-sama has sent me to act as the squads medic and her representative." Shizune quickly sat back down.

Iruka surveyed his team. He hadn't asked for Shizune, but knew she would be a good addition.

"First thing," Iruka looked pointedly at Kakashi, "I don't care what your rank is, you're under my command until the Hokage says otherwise."

He got a round of nods.

"Good, now onto the briefing." Iruka had decided to start off with a demonstration, so he took the photos of Gaara and Sasuke the Hokage had had transferred to clear plastic and overlapped them.

"We are looking," he said as he held the overlaid pictures up to the light, "for someone of almost exactly this hair color."

Ibiki nodded slowly, but the rest had wide eyes.

Iruka set the pictures down and turned to his team. "Right now, Naruto is changing, and so he looks to what he admires to see how he should change. It's a period all missing-nin go through, redefining their identity, but it doesn't last forever. If we are ever going to catch him, we need to do it now, while he is relatively predictable."

Iruka started to pace as he talked, "But there are complications, not the least of which is Temari of the sand. Initially, she was his prisoner, but we have a report stating she killed one of the hunter-nin last sent after them, so we have no idea what to expect from her."

As time passed, Iruka called various team members up to explain certain things. Ibiki gave a speech on the possibility that Naruto was using the accumulation of fear stimulus, which most of the team members had never heard of before. Tenten was asked to talk about the various methods Naruto could be using to control his swords, and Anko talked about making sure they didn't allow themselves to go easy on him because he had once been their friend. She calmly explained that they would have enough problems beating him going all out, never mind if one of them got cold feet.

At the end of 4 long hours, Iruka let them go off to bed, as they were leaving for Konoha early the next morning. Most left feeling they had accomplished a great deal, but they all knew they were short on information. All they could do now was speculate based on the words of a single hunter-nin.

Once the tent was cleared, Iruka sat alone and rubbed his head. He couldn't believe he was doing this, but also knew it needed to be done. This was the best shot they would ever have; they knew approximately where the boy was, and what he was doing. More importantly, they had an idea of who he was.

A year from now, Naruto could be a completely different person. Iruka knew he was the only one who could do this, not even Kakashi understood Uzumaki Naruto the way he did.

He couldn't allow himself to fail.

* * *

Gaara, Kankuro, and Baki sat in their tent, facing each other somberly. 

Kankuro smirked at his jounin teacher, "Go fish."

Baki cursed silently, he had been sure Kankuro had a two. He drew the four of clubs and re-examined his hand. It wasn't looking good.

Baki decided to gamble, "Gaara, do you have any fours?"

The red haired boy glared as he handed his four of diamonds over.

The three were now relaxing with a game of 'go fish' after hours of dastardly plotting. They knew the worst they could do was slow the hunt, but they intended to do that as much as possible.

The first act had already been done, as Gaara had used his sand to steal all the hunter-nin masks in camp and had hidden them in a bag. He then found a hornet's nest in a tree in the forest and used the bag to block it.

Whoever removed the bag would get a rather unwelcome surprise.

* * *

Naruto woke up the next morning with a sense of purpose. They were only three hours from a small city, and he decided they would spend the day there. 

He figured that the two of them needed some time to enjoy themselves. They had made excellent time over the last couple days and were ahead of schedule, and Naruto also didn't want to get too far ahead of the hunters.

That may have sounded odd, but his plan required that he know when the hunter-nins were coming, and if they initially escaped and the hunters couldn't find them, who knew when the masked shinobi would find them again.

Naruto started to pack up camp just as Temari was waking up. As had become their custom, Naruto turned his back as she got out of her sleeping bag, and after 15 seconds or so, went back to whatever he had been doing.

The two were soon running and arrived at the edge of the city at around 11:00. The first order of business was, as always, to find a place to stay. Temari suggested a tall hotel so they could practice on the roof without being seen from the ground. Naruto agreed and soon they had a room.

They both quickly retreated to the roof where Temari was practicing Mizu Gyoushuku no jutsu while Naruto counted their money. They were still well off, but the money would run out just before or as they arrived at hidden cloud, so they would have to find work quickly.

Meanwhile, Temari was having some problems with her practicing. She managed to gather water into the air around her, but it took a long time. She clocked herself at about 30 seconds to complete the jutsu. The other problem was that her cloths were soaked through, and she would swear Seirei Kirite was leering at her.

She would be just starting the jutsu, and she would have this incredibly creepy feeling run down her spine, but when she turned, the sword was just sitting there on the roof next to Naruto, same as always.

Inside the sword, Kyuubi was grinning to himself. He had noticed that he had become more easily amused after 14 years of imprisonment, but didn't really mind. Every time Temari turned her back, the demon would manifest just a little bit of his head, enough to stare at her until she started to turn and the demon dropped the manifestation.

This went on for 20 minutes or so until Naruto noticed, immediately telling the fox to give it a rest, as Temari was starting to look mentally unstable.

Finished with his monetary evaluation, Naruto stood and stretched.

"You up for a taijutsu spar?" the boy asked the still irate sand-nin.

Temari nodded abruptly and brought her fan into the ready position, Naruto looked at it nervously.

"You do realize," he said, "that taijutsu means no wind blasts…I seriously doubt the hotel would appreciate a hole in its roof"

Temari didn't even bother to respond, she just ran, swinging low, trying to take Naruto's legs out from under him. Naruto decided to experiment; he blocked the fan with his sword and sent an image to Kyuubi.

Temari expected her attack to be blocked, but didn't expect the counterattack to come if the form of a manifested glowing claw. She flung herself backwards, just dogging the demon's swipe. The spar continued mostly like that.

The sand girl found herself often able to block Seirei Kirite it she saw it coming, but the Demon and Naruto were working together in synchronization. Kyuubi could manifest from anywhere on the sword at any time, making him completely unpredictable.

The final experiment came when Naruto threw his blade, which Temari just managed to dodge, only to find herself flying through the air. Kyuubi had manifested from the flying blade and grabbed her ankle.

Since letting go meant dropping her, Kyuubi just flew around in a full circle, releasing Temari so she fell into Naruto, causing both nins to go sprawling. They tried to untangle themselves while Seirei Kirite embedded itself in the roof, oozing self-satisfaction.

Both deciding that was enough sparing for the day, and as it was around noon, the two went back to their room and started to think about lunch. To Temari's mild shock, Naruto changed into one of his T-shirts, and even more odd was that he left his sword in the room and told her to do the same with her fan.

"I really don't like the idea of walking around un-armed…I just got the fan a couple days ago and am still getting used to it."

Naruto waved off her concerns, "Seirei Kirite will watch the room and make sure nothing happens to your fan. We," he said with a grin, "are going out."

At this point, Temari demonstrated the art of appearing embarrassed and angry at the same time. It's a subtle combination of a light blush and narrowed eyes. Naruto figured she was about to ask why, so he just grabbed her hand and walked out of the room.

3 minutes later, the two were walking down the street, Temari's complaints and questions forgotten.

"So, where are we going, exactly?" she asked curiously.

"It's a surprise"

"I don't like surprises, tell me"

Naruto stopped walking and turned to examine her for a moment. Without warning, he closed the distance between them, wrapping his arms around her neck.

A moment of fiddling later, he pulled off her forehead protector and slid it into his pocket with a grin.

Temari remained frozen for a few seconds longer, then glared, but noticed he wasn't wearing his own either.

Naruto shrugged, "We won't need to be shinobi today, so there's no need to advertise that we are shinobi."

Temari continued to glare, "Next time, tell me. I'll do it."

Naruto shrugged again, "Ok.", but he was still grinning.

Temari didn't realize she had forgotten to ask where they were going until they arrived.

* * *

Back in their hotel room, the maid was vacuuming the floor when she suddenly jumped and screamed. There was no one in the room but she would swear someone had just pinched her.

* * *

Elsewhere, the Konoha camp was chaos. No less than 7 incidents had occurred since this morning, and Tsunade was starting to get significantly annoyed. 

It had all started when 2 hunter-nin had come to her reporting that their masks were missing, it was soon noticed that ALL the masks were missing. An hour of searching later, a squad covered in wasp stings fell at her feet, holding the bag of masks.

Since then, a group of people had gotten sick from food poisoning, a group of gennin had gotten lost in the forest, numerous shinobi had found small stinging animals in their shoes, and Ino had somehow escaped her guard and had traumatized three patients in the hospital with her incessant whining.

The Hokage was sure all these events had something to do with the three all-too-innocent looking sand shinobi in front of her, but had no proof. Gaara, Kankuro and Baki stood there smiling warmly, showing no trace of malice.

Tsunade had called the three here to discuss Baki's request for the squad to remain in Konoha to monitor events concerning Temari. She knew the three were just going to disrupt the hunt, but couldn't say that for political reasons

She was about to make up a reason to deny Baki's request when she noticed water on the ground and a chuunin burst into the room.

"Hokage-sama! You won't believe this! Come look outside."

Sensing the urgency, Tsunade rushed out of the tent and gasped. The whole camp was covered in 8 inches of water, which was very quickly turning the field into a swamp.

The three sand nins were no less surprised than the Hokage at he sight before them, this hadn't been one of their many plots, not of them had the power to do this.

ANBU suddenly dropped around them; the leader quickly kneeled in the mud and gave his report.

"It's some type of unknown water jutsu that brings water from underground rivers and springs to the surface. We sensed a large chakra signature, but when we arrived at its location the jutsu was done and there was no trace of the user, we did however, find this."

The ANBU commander handed Tsunade a sealed note, which she opened.

_Dear Hokage_

_Just a note to inform you that your security is a little lax, I've been here for five hours and no one's noticed me. I was hoping for a decent fight, but in lieu of that, I've left you a present to remind you to be more observant. I hope your robes and scrolls kept are in a water resistant bag._

_Itachi_

In the margin was a drawing of a cloaked figure giving peace sign. Tsunade swore and crumpled the note in her hand.

She looked out at the mess that had been an organized military camp only hours earlier. It might be one or two days before the main force could move out again, they'd have to find the nearest river and camp there, as almost everything would need to be washed.

One man had just set an army back 2-3 days.

Tsunade sighed, "I know its hopeless, but search the area just in case Itachi decided to hang around, other than that, everyone salvage what they can from the mud."

Deciding that her declaration applied to them too, the three sand snuck out the other way. Gaara made a note to find and learn that water jutsu.

* * *

Temari walked excitedly through the street fair, looking at everything. Open shops and stands really didn't work in hidden sand, as windstorms were too violent. 

Naruto just followed her slowly, as she rushed from one stall to the next, oblivious to the afternoon's heat. Naruto had always enjoyed places like this, but had only ever worked up the nerve to go to a festival in Konoha once. It had been the best night of his life until someone had recognized him and a small riot started.

Thankfully, there was no riot this time, just an overenthusiastic girl. Temari stopped for a moment to stare covetously at the merchandise of an old lady selling intricate fans. They were of normal size, but beautiful all the same.

Her attention was soon diverted, however, when she saw a stand selling mini-doughnuts. Realizing she had no money, she looked for Naruto. Said boy was walking down the center of the walkway when Temari rushed up to him.

"I need money for mini-doughnuts"

"Why?"

"Because I've never had mini-doughnuts before." Temari said, as if it were obvious.

Naruto sighed and handed over his wallet, "you can spend 3000 yen, no more."

Temari dashed off to buy snacks while Naruto fingered the money in his pocket. The old lady's fans sold for 4000 yen. He had 4300 yen. It was a lot of money…

He remembered the way her face had lit up when he had given her the master level battle fan in the forest.

Money wasn't that important after all.

* * *

Authors Notes: Sigh….deleted and re-wrote the second half of this chapter, but its much better the this time. 

I have to say I'm interested in what the response will be to Iruka's chosen team, I tried to pick people that made sense (and people who have a role to play later on in the story…)

I'm experimenting with lines as scene separators as I got one or two requests.

Next Chapter: Temari's new jutsu and Iruka's hunt. Also, high stakes no-holding-back 'Go Fish' as Baki tries to regain his lost title as champion.

Translation Notes:

Kaze Nenshou no Justu - Burning winds technique  
Mizu Gyoushuku no jutsu - Water condensation technique


	14. Never Forgive, Never Forget

Temari was practically bouncing as the two left the street fair. It was very unlike her to be this hyper, but she was slightly tipsy and on a sugar high; induced by 4 bags of mini-doughnuts and too many free samples of sake.

Naruto was following her at a distance looking slightly exasperated. About the only thing he had done in the last two hours was give Temari the fan he had bought her. She loved it, and that alone made it worth the money, but Naruto was wishing he'd given it to her later.

See, Temari had quickly discerned that there was no reason she couldn't use wind jutsus with a smaller fan, combine that with her temper, her being only slightly drunk, and a sugar high, and what you got was a rather dangerous girl.

She had already threatened a stall keeper who she claimed had cheated her, when in fact she had missed the target she had been aiming at.

The man hadn't known why the strange young woman was waving her fan at him, and Naruto intervened before a small windstorm disrupted the fair. It was then decided that it was time to go back.

So now, the two were walking back to their hotel, except that random things in the vicinity regularly distracted Temari. It wasn't that she wasn't moving, she was just moving very slowly.

Finally, Naruto settled for the same method he had used to get her to leave the room in the first place, he just took hold of her hand and started off at a high pace.

Eventually, Temari started to calm down, and a few blocks from the hotel she pulled her hand from Naruto's.

When they arrived, Naruto said he wanted to go for a run, so Temari went back to the room alone and flopped down onto her bed, covering her head with her hands.

She was confused.

Her entire life had really been a very simple process. She had gone to the academy, become a shinobi, and the theoretical continuation of her life should have included a perfect mission record until she was a jounin and a lifetime of service to her village.

In her entire life, she had really only ever had to deal with 4 males on a regular basis. Her father, who was an ass, who Temari ignored, Baki, whose two passions in life were being melodramatic and playing go fish, who Temari was indifferent to, Gaara, who had been insane most of her life, and who she had been mostly afraid of, and Kankuro, whose main hobby was pissing her off, who she beat on.

She now found herself in a situation where she had a new person to deal with and a new life to plan for.

For all her efforts, Naruto was an enigma to her. He wasn't anything like anyone she had ever met before. At first, she had been afraid of him, but that fear was vanishing faster every day. The more she thought about it, the more 'human' he became.

Naruto had never hurt her in any way, quite the contrary in fact. He had been nothing but kind and generous. It was, she justified, his fault she was in this position in the first place, but she doubted most kidnappers were as nice as he was.

But for all that, she had never yet managed to shake the memory of how she had first seen him on the field of battle, his eyes burning with a dark inner fire as she found herself frozen in terror. But equally impossible was it to forget how just this afternoon he had been so sweet. Never once complaining, always complimenting her when she won a game, and picking out that fan for her...

Temari rubbed her temples; all this thinking was giving her a headache.

* * *

Baki sat with his face firm, his eyes unwavering as he stared across the table at his opponent. 

Gaara stared back, undaunted, His whole body perfectly still.

Kankuro, the moderator, sat between them, a deck of cards sitting unopened in his hand. Championship matches were always held with a fresh deck. It was also tradition that each player had to bet something of personal value.

Baki took out a Katana passed down in his family for 3 generations and set it down. Not willing to be outdone, Gaara set his special edition of 'Icha Icha Paradise: The Motion Picture' down on the table. Baki's eyes widened. The stakes were high indeed.

Kankuro carefully unwrapped the cards, shuffled them, and slowly started to deal. The tension built until both players had their hands ready and Kankuro placed the deck in the middle of the table. The puppet master raised his hand and brought it down dramatically, "GO…...FISH!"

* * *

Naruto ran. 

He found himself reminiscing, as his afternoon with Temari had reminded him of times long past. Of another afternoon he had spent with another person who could smile so brightly, despite the hardship they were dealing with. He wondered idly what it was that gave Haku and Temari the ability to do that.

As always, he was soon lost deep in the depths of his mind.

As Zabuza stood immobile, Kakashi had started to lecture about how Zabuza's ambitions were 'too dangerous' and how no shinobi should act that way.

_Zabuza laughed, "I don't give a damn, I fight for my ideals, and that shall continue!"_

It was a statement made by someone who in his heart, knew he had lost, but the demon of the mist had never given up. For the first time in months, tears started to run down Naruto's face as he ran through the city.

He could remember it as if he were still there, Zabuza already half dead, taking on a horde with nothing but a kunai in his mouth, fighting with all his soul to protect the memory of his precious person.

The boy continued to let these dark memories roll over him, when he suddenly stopped. Naruto had been running for many minutes and was atop a bridge, looking down at a flowing river.

He suddenly pulled out his forehead protector, examining it. Everything about it was the same as when he had modified it months before, the kanji for "Demonic Mirage" staring back at him. It was then that he realized he'd made an error in judgment.

He had been worrying ever since he left Konoha about whether he would be able to live up to Zabuza's legacy, whether he was worthy of holding the demon's sword. He realized as he stood atop that bridge that he had been foolish in thinking either of those things were what had made Zabuza great.

It didn't matter how strong he was, as long as he was strong enough to protect his ideals and what was precious to him. Both Zabuza and Haku had tried to live like that, and had both died without regret in trying.

Naruto released his forehead protector and watched as it fell and landed with a tiny splash in the water.

Kakashi had said that fighting only for your ideals and those precious to you was no way to be a ninja. If that were true, Naruto didn't want to be one. He slowly turned and walked back towards the hotel, feeling refreshed.

He had Seirei Kirite, and Temari's smile.

He had strength, and a precious person to protect.

* * *

Baki fought to maintain his composure as he felt hundreds of eyes on him. 

Shortly after the start of their game, the Hokage had interrupted, and as any form of gambling immediately entranced Tsunade, everyone who was looking for the Hokage had come to their tent. Soon, the tent had been disassembled around their ears as more people wanted to watch, but the game had never paused.

Both players were cautious, the game was more than half over; with Gaara showing a one pair lead. More people gathered, and some were standing on chairs to see over the throng. Somewhere in the crowd, a chuunin had set up some huge speakers and was playing 'eye of the tiger.'

Baki made a daring move, "Gaara, Do you have any fives?"

The crowed collectively held their breath, until Gaara slowly pulled a card from his hand and passed it over. Everyone burst into cheers and claps, waiting anxiously for Gaara to make his move.

Elsewhere in camp, Iruka was fretting. There were too many delays; his squad would have to start the hunt now, without returning to Konoha first. This was very unusual, but time was of the essence.

Iruka had taken the initiative and ordered a group meeting without consulting Tsunade; he had ordered his team to get ready to leave in four hours. Now came the problem. Iruka would have to explain to the Hokage exactly why it was he was breaking regulation and going behind her back.

But he would make her understand; he had to. This was their only chance.

* * *

As Iruka planned his departure, Naruto was just arriving back to the hotel. The first thing Temari noticed from her prone position was that he seemed more…invigorated than he had when he'd left. His eyes had just a bit more fire behind them. 

He grinned, "I hope you're enjoying your break. Tomorrow, we leave the city and train."

Temari looked skeptical; "Train? Shouldn't we be putting more distance between our pursuers and us?"

Naruto shook his head, "Running is mostly pointless, they will find us eventually, and so we'll travel only a few hours a day and devote ourselves to training."

With that, Naruto walked over to his bed and flopped on it. The two lay there, unmoving, basking in the fact that, at least for now, they could relax.

Far away, Baki stood among a cheering crowed, holding Gaara's special edition tape above him proudly.

* * *

-8 days later- 

Hyuuga Neji ran through the forest. They had been traveling constantly since the departure from the Konoha camp, and it was suspected that they would soon find their prey.

He knew the others were somewhere nearby, but it was his job to initiate contact. After that, he was just supposed to fight as hard and as long as possible. He only accepted his task because he trusted in his team to uphold their part in the plan. Neji understood the role he was to play, but that didn't mean he liked it.

* * *

Temari stood behind Naruto in the forest, her hands guiding his through unfamiliar motions. She was finding it interesting how something that felt so natural to her could be so alien to someone else. 

She was also finding it mildly awing how fast Naruto was able to learn Jutsus.

He was slightly clumsy, but held the huge fan confidently; it had taken her 3 months to learn the basic Kamaitachi, it took him only 7 days. Temari was feeling weak.

On the other hand, she was infinitely stronger than when she had been kidnapped. Her progress with Kaze Nenshou no Justu had been swift, and she was now able to make the slicing winds hot, if not scorching. She had also, at Naruto's request, continued to practice Mizu Gyoushuku no jutsu, and had become adept at that as well.

Naruto hesitated in his motion and Temari snapped back to reality. His hands had slipped so she re-placed his hands in the correct places and took a step back, "Try it again."

He nodded and again started the motions. Temari had explained that it simply wasn't possible to try to use a fan in combat without knowing at least a little of the Taijutsu that went along with the huge weapons.

The sand-nin looked over at Kyuubi's practice, and was, as always, impressed. Seirei Kirite was stuck in the ground, surrounded by trees. The demon was trying to manifest and destroy the trees farther and farther away, using the least amount of chakra possible. Kyuubi had been practicing with Naruto or by himself almost constantly, because if there was one thing the demon hated, it was weakness.

As amazing as it was watching huge glowing red appendages tear apart a forest, the boy and demon together were even more astounding. The two had been practicing synchronizing their thoughts and perceptions, and now both could see into a bit of each other's minds.

All these thoughts passed through Temari's mind as she came to her archnemesis, the water balloon. This had been her assigned practice for the afternoon. She had been nervous when Naruto had grinned so much while explaining what she would be trying to do, and now she understood why. The thing just wouldn't break.

She could spin the water with her chakra, but never managed to get anything close to the pulsating and exploding that Naruto had achieved with so little apparent effort. It was pissing her off, to say the least.

Naruto let out a yell as he finally got the motions right, not slipping or hesitating once.

He looked at Temari to find her glaring heatedly at the small water-filled object in her hand. He knew she didn't have the chakra capacity yet for a full-fledged Rasengan, but intended for her to at least start practicing. He had been serious when he had said he was going to teach her everything he knew.

Naruto glanced at the sky, "Ne, Temari, supper sounds good right now, you done practicing?"

Temari threw the balloon violently against a tree as Naruto retrieved his sword. He took that as a yes. He passed her fan back to her and they walked the short distance back to camp.

"So what is it today?" The boy asked, "Dehydrated rice or dehydrated rice?"

"_Hard choice,"_ Temari muttered

Naruto just grabbed a pot and started the 5-minute walk to the river, humming to himself.

When he arrived, his hand flew immediately to the blade on his back. Someone was watching him.

Naruto turned to the left, and found a pair of white eyes looking upon him with hatred. He slowly removed his hand from Seirei Kirite's handle, "Yo, Neji. I was wondering when someone would show up."

The Hyuuga's glare became even darker, "I was told not to confront you if we met, but I don't need a team to beat scum like you…...Byakugan!"

The veins burst out around Neji's eyes as Naruto responded with a smile, "That's a little arrogant, isn't it? But I'll tell you what, since your going to be so brave, I won't even remove the sword from my back, that should make it at least amusing."

Neji practically boiled with rage as he charged. Naruto noticed that Neji had become much faster, and it took some effort for Naruto to dodge the Hyuuga's first few punches. Soon, the two were exchanging blows at a steady pace.

Naruto was starting to get mildly concerned, as Neji wasn't using his gentle fist, just ordinary punches. Leaping back, Naruto opted for his usual, and created a small army of shadow clones and ordered them to attack.

The fight that followed really wasn't anything new. Neji fought methodically, slowly reducing the number of clones until a Kaiten removed the last five.

He had to admit, Neji had gotten much better, but Naruto really didn't have time to play with the Hyuuga. The two closed again and now Naruto could feel the telltale chakra surrounding Neji's hands. They were playing for keeps this time.

Neji glared yet again, only slightly out of breath, and fell into a stance Naruto remembered all too well, "Do you have any last words?"

Knowing Neji had the honor to wait while he decided what to say, Naruto had an idea sent an image to the fox, _"Can we pull this off," _Naruto mentally asked.

"**_Yep_"** The fox replied, and Naruto could feel the demon's grin

"_Without killing Neji?"_

"**_I suppose…"_** the fox's grin grew wider.

Back in the real world, Naruto felt his perception extend as he and Kyuubi synched their thoughts.

He looked up at Neji, "I have words to say, and I want you to never forget them."

The Hyuuga nodded slightly, but his eyes widened as Naruto fell into a stance that mirrored his own.

The fox boy smirked, "It's over, you are within the field of my Hakke"

Neji's only response was to attack, "Gentle fist style, Hands of Hakke!"

"Two Hands!" Neji called  
"Four Hands!" Naruto called simultaneously

If Neji was shocked when Naruto called out at the same time he did, he was even more shocked when Naruto successfully blocked two strikes and landed two of his own. Neji knew it was impossible for any non-Hyuuga to use the hands of hakke, and yet Naruto was doing it, and starting with 4! Despite all this, Neji refused to be intimidated; Naruto wouldn't be able to keep up with his speed forever.

"Four!  
"Eight!"

Neji growled as his 4 strikes were blocked, and he felt 4 strikes land on his body.

"Eight!  
"Sixteen!"

Again, Neji was thwarted.

"Sixteen!  
"Thirty-two!"

Neji was slightly worried, this shouldn't be possible!

"Thirty-two!  
"Sixty-four!"

His body was in agony as Naruto blocked all thirty two of his strikes and landed thirty two of his own.

"Sixty-four!  
"One-hundred-twenty-eight!"

He had won. Naruto's strikes had always missed slightly, Neji had some burned Tenketsu, but none were completely closed. Naruto was doing the impossible, imitating a Hyuuga skill of the highest level, but there was no way to block his next attack. 128 was as many strikes as the greatest of Hyuuga could manage.

"One-hundred-twenty-ei…" Neji stopped.

Halfway through his final strike, two wickedly clawed red arms manifested from the sword on Naruto's back.

"Hakke: Demon Claw! 256 Hands!"

Neji tried to block, but it was impossible. All 4 arms were striking with godlike speed, and where Naruto missed the Tenketsu, the demonic arms had perfect aim.

The final blow was landed on Neji's chest, sending him flying back. He smashed into a tree and fell to the ground, unmoving.

Naruto snorted as the Kyuubi disipated his arms, the Hyuuga really were stupid. The greatest attack they had required that their enemies be slower than them, in one place, and limited to two arms. Beyond that; when all was said and done, the hands of hakke were rarely lethal.

Then again, he thought, on the positive side, he had gotten his first field test of his and Kyuubi's mind synch. He had been impressed when, in practice sessions, Kyuubi's perception had shown the ability to give a blurry image of the chakra systems of nearby people.

Naruto sighed, picked up his pot, and headed back to camp. Unfortunately, they didn't have time for supper anymore.

As soon as he set foot in camp, he had an idea of what had happened. Temari was nowhere to be seen. Her fan was lying near the fire. She would never have left without it.

Sitting on the ground was his magnetic chess set, only three pieces on the board. A Black King and Black Queen were being pincered by a white knight. It was a position where the knight could take either the King or Queen on his next turn.

The only way for the black king to survive is to sacrifice the black queen to his opponent.

The whole thing with Neji had been a setup. The bastards had taken Temari.

Naruto growled and gripped Seirei Kirite's handle. They had gone too far this time.

He was done with holding back.

* * *

Author's Notes: Expect slight delays the next little while, I have a convention this weekend and family visiting, so I'm a bit short on time. 

To answer someone's question, yes, Kyuubi's manifesting is visible.

Naruto 'faking' the hands of hakke was another thing I didn't plan, but liked anyway.


	15. Their's is but to do and die

Naruto paced restlessly around camp, cursing his own stupidity. It seemed so obvious in retrospect; the leaf didn't dare attack him head on. Naruto was now sure that the hunters didn't know what his relationship with Temari was, and so they couldn't risk that she was still just his prisoner.

So the only thing they could do was take her and interrogate her.

Naruto resisted the powerful urge to destroy something. He needed to be calm, his opponents were smart, and so he had to be to. Taking a deep breath, Naruto analyzed the situation.

From his enemy's perspective, taking Temari served many purposes. Finding out whether she was a voluntary Nukenin, or whether Naruto had forced her. Finding out about Naruto's tactics and skills, picking apart what she knew about his mind.

The problem was, Naruto didn't know how Temari would answer. Would she betray him to the leaf? Would she resist and risk her life? Would she just sit silently and not respond?

He cursed and punched a tree. Worst of all was that he knew the final and most obvious reason for kidnapping Temari was that it would drive Naruto crazy wondering whether the girl was dead, and unfortunately, it was working.

He forced himself to be calm. Temari could take care of herself, and fighting while mad was the worst thing a person could do.

Now focused, he started examining the campsite more closely. He could determine many things about the hunter squad just from looking at their work.

There was no sign of a struggle, so Temari had been surprised. Naruto could personally attest to the fact that this was no small feat, so there was at least one Jounin on the team.

The positioning of the chess pieces was a brilliant psychological taunt, so he was facing someone who either was very smart or knowledgeable about the workings of the human mind. Considering Neji's presence, Naruto was betting that the chess was the work of Shikamaru.

They were hoping to weaken his resolve by forcing him to fight his ex-friends.

2 hours ago, it might have worked.

Neji was badly wounded, and assuming Temari was just unconscious (he refused to think otherwise), they wouldn't be able transport her very far, they knew that they were giving Naruto a major chance to escape either way, and wouldn't let themselves be more than an hour from his position.

If he moved fast, he should be able to find them within 5 hours using a criss-cross pattern. Wasting no more time, he dashed off into the forest, heading back to where he had last seen Neji. If he centered his search there, he might get lucky and find the hunters within the hour.

* * *

Iruka and Shizune ran through the forest, Shizune carrying Neji in her arms. She had been horrified after only a brief examination and immediately declared that he needed to get to a real hospital, as she didn't have the resources to treat him in the forest. 

Since Iruka was the only one who wasn't needed immediately as part of the plan, he was her escort and guard. Shizune would run with Neji if Naruto found them, leaving Iruka to cover their escape.

Iruka understood better than anyone that his team was the best for the job, but he still worried as he pushed himself, trying to move as fast as humanly possible. He had left Ibiki in charge, but still wished he could be there himself. He was broken out of his thoughts as Neji moaned; and he turned to see the Hyuuga starting to shift in Shizune's arms.

Iruka cursed and started to run faster, he wasn't going to let anyone die.

* * *

Temari slowly awoke, but trying to think was like swimming through mud. She tried to move, and upon finding she couldn't, sighed silently. She was really getting tired of waking up groggy and immobile. 

She kept her eyes closed and stayed perfectly still, not wanting to alert anyone as to her wakefulness. She could feel all her body parts, and that was a good sign, but missing was the comforting weight of her shuriken holsters and battle fan.

Without much hope, she shifted her weight slightly and was surprised when she felt all her hidden Kunai exactly where they were supposed to be. Whoever had taken all her obvious weaponry hadn't bothered to search her. As an experiment, she shifted again and felt a lump.

Temari had tucked the small fan Naruto had given at the fair into her sash for safekeeping. It was still there. Not wasting time searching her for concealed weapons was understandable if there were time constraints, but the small wood fan in her sash was obvious, and anyone who didn't bother to take a fan from a wind user, even a tied up wind user, would have to be either the most powerful or laziest shinobi in existence.

A short distance away, an oblivious Shikamaru sat staring at clouds. He had taken the least troublesome job, as everyone else was out patrolling the forest. His mind, happily distracted by floating white puffs, paid very little attention to his (supposedly) unconscious prisoner.

Behind him, Temari carefully opened her eyes. She immediately recognized Shikamaru, which answered the question of who had tied her up and failed to search her, but didn't tell her what to do next. The shadow user was leaning up against a tree, facing away from her and staring at the sky.

Temari could feel one her hidden Kunai in her right sleeve, if she could reach it, cutting herself would be simple. The only obstacle was Shikamaru, Temari knew she would have to be very careful and quiet, because if the pineapple haired boy noticed she was awake and caught wind of her plan, she would be sunk.

She started to move, agonizingly slowly, shifting her body so the hidden Kunai would slide out of its hiding place. She knew it might take a while at this speed, but impatience could ruin her only chance of escape.

* * *

Ibiki and Anko stood uneasily in the forest. Both knew that everything was going according to plan, but neither could shake the nervousness that came with waiting. Provoking an enraged demon boy to attack you seemed like a much better idea around a planning table surrounded by your teammates. 

Iruka had said flatly that despite how much the boy may have changed, there was no way Naruto would abandon someone he had decided was his responsibility. The plan had developed logically from there, kidnap Temari when the two nukenins were apart, then allow Naruto to come to them.

Kakashi had been the one to capture Temari, and everything had seemed perfect until Shizune had arrived at the rendezvous point with Neji's broken body. They had all assumed Neji would at least be able to hold his own against Naruto for a few minutes.

They had been wrong.

Now they were short three members, leaving only one to guard Temari and four people split into 2-man teams on the lookout for the fox boy.

Neji had been Chuunin level, and he had been completely and utterly crushed. That left even the jounin slightly disturbed. It was for this reason, that as they watched the silent forest, Ibiki had lost his usual aura of casualness and Anko was completely serious.

Tension was thick in the air as they stood back to back in the forest, neither could put a finger on exactly what it was that was bothering them, but the disturbance was there nonetheless.

It was then that the mist started to form.

The Leaf-nin resisted the immediate urge to set off their signal flares, they didn't want to call Kakashi and Tenten to back them up unless they were sure the mist wasn't a diversion.

Within the fog, Naruto stood calmly holding Seirei Kirite. Ibiki and Anko couldn't see him, but he could see them.

He was one with his sword and one with his surroundings. It wasn't a feeling that could be described to someone who hadn't felt it, as he couldn't see things around him, but he knew they were there all the same. He knew the position of every tree, rock and plant for 20 feet in every direction.

He _felt _rather than saw the agitated movements of the two jounin in front of him, but it really didn't matter. He knew where they were, and they had no idea where he was. His eyes narrowed and shone with a dark inner light.

Both jounin easily dogged Naruto's initial strike, as their instincts had been honed from a hundred battles, but the boy went straight into high gear. He knew that both leaf-nins had much larger Ninjutsu collections than his own, and so he would have to pressure them so much they had no time for jutsus.

Kyuubi's eight Seirei Kirite clones were already in the air, and Naruto had directed the demon to focus on Ibiki, leaving Naruto himself to deal with Anko.

Said female leaf nin was currently pulling off her best acrobatics in an effort to dodge Seirei Kirite and the dark boy who wielded it like it weighed no more than a kunai. Anko had known the boy would be strong, but her current situation was ridiculous. She suddenly saw an opening in Naruto's defense and went for it.

Seeing the kunai aimed at his heart, Naruto jumped, taking his sword into and upward slash.

Knowing it was to late to reverse her momentum Anko brought her two kunai down to block, and they held for a second, but were no match for the demonic blade. Both Kunai were cut cleanly in half and Seirei Kirite continued upwards, almost severing he left leg and leaving a deep gash in her side.

Naruto would have reversed the blade and come down on her for the killing blow but felt an explosion behind him. He spun in the air, kicking Anko out of the way as he did so.

Ibiki just stood there, grinning at him. The interrogator's right side had been completely mangled by Kyuubi's spinning sword clones, his right arm and leg in shreds, but in his left hand he held a flare gun.

Naruto's eyes widened as Ibiki continued to grin as he collapsed.

The fox boy growled, baring his fangs as he ran to pick up his bag and Temari's battle fan before continuing towards where he figured the leaf camp would be.

* * *

Unfortunately, the explosion had completely awoken Shikamaru from his oblivion, and he was now standing alertly above as Temari faked sleep. She had the kunai in her hand, but hadn't cut her bonds yet and if she moved it would be a battle of speed between her and the shadow user to see who would strike first. 

Deciding she had to risk it, Temari cut the ropes on her hands and brought the Kunai down to cut her leg bonds while her other hand grabbed the fan out of her sash. Shikamaru immediately noticed her movement out of the corner of his eye and was starting the seals for the shadow bind when a chibi-Kamaitachi slammed into the side of his head.

Shikamaru crumpled to the ground and Temari jumped to her feet, trying to get the blood flowing in her limbs again. Oddly enough, in all her plans to escape it had never occurred to her that she was now willingly acting like a missing nin. Not willing to waste time contemplating this fact, as the flare probably meant trouble for Naruto, Temari started to run in the direction of where the flare had gone off.

The ex-sand nin hadn't gotten very far when she felt two presences right behind her. Just as she was pondering how to get away, a form sped in front of her and cut her off.

Temari found herself facing one normal eye and one Sharingan, and knew she was in rather deep trouble.

Kakashi glared, "Why are you trying to escape?"

Temari just smiled, "because you captured me….isn't it normal to run away?"

"Then why haven't you run away from _him,_" Kakashi said angrily

Temari's mind was working at warp speed, despite her outward confidence, she had no hope of winning. She didn't have her fan or any time to prepare a plan of acti…..

Prepare….

Suddenly all of Naruto's annoying comments made sense. Mizu Gyoushuku no jutsu and Kaze Nenshou no Justu weren't supposed to be combined, one was a preparation for the other.

Willing to gamble, she ignored Kakashi's question and started to run through now familiar seals. As expected, the copy ninja held true to his name and immediately started to imitate her seals.

They both finished the seals and called out at the same time: "Mizu Gyoushuku no jutsu!"

Neither moved as the water started to gather. Within seconds, both were soaked and the air around them was filled with water droplets.

Kakashi was perplexed. He had been slightly nervous when Temari had started into hand seals without answering his question…but the Jutsu didn't do anything except make you wet…

Temari just stood there, hoping beyond hope that Naruto was nearby, if he weren't, Kakashi would be kicking her ass any minute now.

It was at that moment that Tenten fell from the trees. Literally. The weapons master hit the ground with a crunch and lay still.

Kakashi's Sharingan started to spin as he looked at Tenten; he felt righteous anger building up inside him and subconsciously started the hand seals for chidori. He probably would have finished them too if Seirei Kirite hadn't flown out of the trees, heading straight to Temari.

If the huge sword flying towards her unnerved the girl, she didn't show it. A million possibilities went through Kakashi's mind. Was Naruto going to kill her and blame it on the leaf?

As the blade was only a few fractions of a second from impact, Temari reached out with her hand and deftly caught her fan as the Seirei Kirite clone poofed into nonexistence. Using the fans own momentum to snap it open and spin, Temari forced all the chakra she had into one final jutsu,

"Kaze Nenshou no Justu: KIKAKI!" (Burning Winds Technique: VAPORIZER!)

All the water that had collected on her body and in the air turned instantly to steam as the air was lit on fire. Kakashi only managed the "oh shi…" before he was engulfed by a wave of super-heated mist and consumed by agony.

Some of the steam condensed on the copy ninja's body and continued to burn him as he thrashed on the ground. When the air started to cool and clear up, Kakashi just lay on his back, trying not to move. A shadow suddenly fell over him and he met a set of dark red eyes.

"I suppose this is the end for the great copy-ninja?" Kakashi said without mirth

Naruto shook his head, "No, there's a message I want you to take to Tsunade for me."

Kakashi raised his singed eyebrow, "go ahead, I'm not going anywhere"

Naruto thought for a moment and started casually, "As far as I know, your whole team is alive, assuming Ibiki and Anko managed to use healing jutsus before they bled to death, so you can be happy about that. More importantly, I want you to know that if I ever catch even a whiff of the scent of leaf hunters ever again, I'm going to find and kill them while they sleep."

Naruto grinned slightly, "aaaaaannd if anyone from your village ever lays a hand on one of my precious people ever again…"

Naruto's eyes suddenly started to glow, "then I will go back to Konoha and **_burn it to the ground"_**

Naruto's eyes lost their glow and he smiled again, "do we understand each other?""

Kakashi nodded painfully.

"Good," Naruto turned to Temari, who had been panting while leaning on her fan,

"Ready?"

Temari nodded tiredly, the sun had set, but at that moment she wanted to get far away from their current location as possible. Without further exchange of words, the two Nukenin started to run.

* * *

Tsunade shot upwards in bed, her body soaked with cold sweat. She had been having a horrible nightmare, but couldn't remember any of what it had been about. She rested a hand on her chest and felt her heart pounding. 

The fifth was not the type of person to be superstitious, but she would swear for the rest of her life that as she lay there in bed, she somehow knew the team sent after Naruto had been beaten. Feeling a dark sense of dread well up from deep within her, she remembered that she had once read part of a poem that she had thought effectively summed up the life of a shinobi.

"Their's not to make reply,  
Their's not to reason why,  
Their's but to do and die:  
Into the valley of Death  
Rode the six hundred."

She had only sent 8 people, not six hundred, but she had sent them on a mission not because the village needed Naruto, but because she as a person cared about him. If they died, she knew she would never forgive herself their deaths.

Only a short distance away, Sabaku no Gaara sat on the ground, watching the moon. He sat cross-legged, staring up into the sky, wondering how Temari was doing. He would be the first to admit that he had never exactly showered his siblings with affection, but Temari's absence had been affecting him deeply.

Gaara had been pondering something the Hokage had said to him a few days earlier, that you don't know what you have until its gone. He was finding that to be disturbingly true.

The sand shifted slightly as someone sat down beside him. It took Gaara only a moment to realize it was Kankuro lacking his face paint and body suit. The sand settled and the two sat in silence, the only sound being the wind as it rustled through the trees.

Finally, it was Gaara who broke the silence, "Not sleeping well?"

"Hm, no, not really" Kankuro answered, only half paying attention

"Seems quiet without her, doesn't it?"

"Hm," Kankuro answered again

"How do you think she's doing?"

"…ok I guess, she's with that Naruto kid, and he's tough as nails" said Kankuro

Gaara nodded with a small smile, "that he is"

And so they sat in silence, each reflecting on their own thoughts.

* * *

Temari collapsed against a tree in exhaustion sometime around three A.M. Naruto had decided they had gone far enough that they weren't likely to be found. He set up the two sleeping bags next to each other, and helped Temari to hers before stripping to the waist and crawling into his own. 

The two really hadn't spoken since their flight from the battlefield, and a great deal was hanging awkwardly between them. Most of the awkwardness was on Temari's side, and she felt the need to talk despite her fatigue.

"I wanted….to…I guess…..say thank you….."

Naruto just looked confused, "for what?"

Temari's nervousness was suddenly replaced with incredulity, "for coming to help me escape..."

Naruto thought for a moment then let out a dark laugh, "don't thank me for that. I went against my village, and don't care if people call me scum, but shinobi who leave their comrades behind are worse than scum, and even I refuse to sink that low"

He suddenly rolled over so they were facing each other, "But even beyond that, you are on the very short list of people who are precious to me."

Temari tried to cover a blush as Naruto continued, "If you ever want to leave, I won't stop you, but until that day, anyone who wants to mess with you has to kill me first"

Temari just lay there as Naruto rolled back over, and a few minutes later, started to snore. When she did start to drift herself, her mind was still filled with the memory of his final words.

* * *

Authors Notes: Well…this chapter took a while. I had a blast at the convention, though I'm still recovering from sleep depravation. I really am sorry for making you all wait so long for such a short chapter, but the next one can be expected in a couple days. 

And for those who don't remember, Shadow Shuriken no Jutsu is what Naruto and Sasuke used on zabuza, hiding one object in another's shadow. In this case, the fan was hidden in the shadow of a Seirei Kirite clone.

The quoted poem lines are from Alfred, Lord Tennyson's "The Charge of the Light Brigade", and the grammar in the poem looks wrong, but Poets are allowed to bend the conventional rules of grammar

* * *

New Jutsu List

**Naruto**

Kirigakure No Jutsu – Hidden Mist Technique

A skill the enshrouds the nearby area with a mist the user can control

Shikifuuinkai- Dead Demon Imprisonment Seal Release

Used to bend or break a shikifuujin seal

Kirite Kage Bunshin no Jutsu – Cutter shadow replication

Makes shadow clones of Seirei Kirite that Kyuubi can control using Chakra

Kamaitachi – Whirlwind cutter

A wind jutsu taught to him by Temari, which he can use by transforming Seirei Kirite into a fan. Creates a blasting wind.

Accumulation of Fear Stimulus

Not a jutsu so much as a skill. Affects the mind of the victim by taking advantage of humanities subconscious instincts.

**Temari**

Mizu Gyoushuku no jutsu – water condensation technique

Gathers large amounts of water on and around the user

Kaze Nenshou no Justu – Burning Winds Technique

Similar to the Kamaitachi, only it heats the air to extremely high temperatures, creating a wind that burns everything it comes into contact with

Kikaki – Vaporizer

A combined use of the above two jutsus, Kaze Nenshou superheats the water until it forms steam, which is carried by the wind and re-condenses on to the target in the form of boiling water, which continues to burn the victim after the initial jutsu is completed. Has the added bonus of blinding your opponent.

Rasengan lvl-1

The same as Naruto's level 1 rasengan was, weak and useless. Temari practices with the water balloon in hopes of getting better, but lacks Naruto's insane endurance.


	16. Cloudy, with a slight chance of idiocy

Iruka sat with his head in his hands, surrounded by his team. Anko, Ibiki, and Kakashi looked somewhat like mummies with the number of bandages they were wearing, but weren't in any mortal danger. Tenten had only broken an arm and a leg, and Shikamaru had a slight concussion.

Shizune stood next to Iruka as the only other uninjured member of the squad while the now stable Neji lay unconscious next to her.

The brown haired hunter looked up at the people gathered around him, "How could this happen?", he asked quietly, "How could we LET this happen!"

Everyone (minus the still conked out Neji) looked down at the ground. Shikamaru had taken it the hardest and hadn't spoken for hours. He felt that the whole ordeal had been his fault and refused to accept anyone's comfort.

Iruka let his gaze burn in to each of them and raised his voice, "Mistakes were made, mistakes that should be impossible for shinobi of your caliber to make. I am still waiting for a decent explanation."

Iruka was about to start openly yelling when Kakashi cut him off, "I ordered that no lethal force be used"

Their brown haired leaders voice suddenly dropped to a dangerously quiet tone, "_what_"

Kakashi continued on, "Once you left with Shizune and Neji, I gave Anko and Ibiki an order to refrain from using lethal force, and if they made contact before I did, to make sure that I knew before anything else."

Iruka's voice was still calm, but his eyes betrayed his anger, "and **why **exactly did you do that?"

"Because I didn't want anyone to kill Naruto before I got to see him."

"Even if I would have agreed, that sort of plan needs to be cleared with the mission leader! What were you going to do if someone had been killed!"

"I figured that as Naruto has shown a reluctance to kill people who were his friends as he grew up, and as Anko and Ibiki can take care of themselves, there wouldn't be a problem." Kakashi answered, still aggravatingly composed, "turns out I was right."

Iruka started to steam, "but still! We planned for days, and then you decide to make a last minute change that might be the reason out mark escaped!"

Kakashi gave Iruka a significant look, "That was the point."

Iruka took a step back, "you do realize what your implying!"

Kakashi turned to Shizune and smiled, "would you mind taking Neji, Shikamaru, and Tenten to the river, I think their bandages need to be changed and their wounds cleaned"

Everyone noticing the extremely obvious attempt to get rid of the younger team members, they quietly left, Tenten helping carry Neji.

Once they were gone, Kakashi and Iruka resumed their face off.

"What you're suggesting is treason!" Iruka said as he simmered

Kakashi waved his finger back and forth, "No, Iruka, it is you who has failed to see underneath the underneath."

Kakashi sat up, "First question, Iruka, who is the most important person involved in this mission?"

Iruka was slightly taken aback, "Obviously, the target, Naru…"

"WRONG" Kakashi cut him off, "He is but a single missing nin with no vendetta against us. He just wants to be left alone, and in this he is predictable, so who then?"

Iruka's eyes widened

Kakashi smiled under his bandages, "very good, I see you understand. Gaara's power and influence is a very real threat to Konoha, and so his sister therefore becomes very important."

Iruka was annoyed with the copy ninja's condescending tone but let it slide.

"I had suspicions from the moment I started my surveillance in preparation of our mission," Kakashi continued, "and they were later confirmed. I only watched their interaction for a minute or two, but even then it was obvious that not only did Naruto care for and feel responsible for the girl, she cared about him."

"This," he continued, "became even more obvious when she made an escape attempt, she wanted to go back and make sure he was ok. To be completely sure, I even asked her why she was going back to Naruto, and in this case," Kakashi held out his bandaged arms, "actions spoke louder than words. She stays with him voluntarily."

Iruka was starting to understand, but didn't like where the facts were leading him.

Kakashi continued to speak in his lecturing voice, "That kind of devotion is Nukenins is rare, so even if we had killed Naruto and taken Temari back to the sand, her and Gaara's influence could ruin relations between our villages. That would be bad enough, so I'm not going to mention what might happen if one of us had to tell Sabaku no Gaara his sister was killed defending Naruto from us."

The commander was now feeling somewhat ashamed of his short sightedness, but was still plenty annoyed as Kakashi went on.

"And then of course," he said, "there's the fact that we got our butts so thoroughly kicked that Naruto would have escaped either way."

Iruka cut in, "But I'm sure we could beat him if we used our resources better, even if Kyuubi is helping him"

Kakashi nodded, "maybe and maybe not, Naruto's speed and coordination have improved exponentially, I have no doubt that he would take at least a few of us down before he died. Either way it's beside the point. We have no reason to go after him again, and honestly, none of us want to anyway."

Iruka deflated, "so what are we going to tell the Hokage then?"

Ibiki cut in, "We'll tell her the truth, Naruto has escaped but is not a threat to our village so long as we do not provoke him, Tsunade will like this better, so she won't argue."

Iruka nodded, "are we sure of that, he really isn't out for vengeance?"

"Yes," Kakashi said, "he threatened to attack Konoha, but only if we went after him first. We stay out of his way, and he and Temari stay out of ours."

Iruka sunk a little lower and nodded in resignation, "Then I suppose that pretty much covers everything……."

Looking relatively disappointed, the brown haired man turned and dismissed his team with a wave of his hand before walking off.

Kakashi watched him for a moment then turned, "Anko, follow him, now is the time for Iruka to hear what you have to say."

She nodded, and rushed to follow the disappearing brown ponytail, the only sign of her injury being a slight limp. She made a mental note to get a really nice present for Shizune once they were back home.

Anko finally caught up to Iruka when he was sitting at the base of a tree, holding his hunter mask up to the sun and looking at how the light shone through the eye slits.

She sat next to him and watched silently for a moment, before interrupting his thoughts, "So we can go home, tell Gaara his sister is fine and thereby prevent Konoha getting stomped, everyone is still alive, yet our fearless leader is moping about something?"

Iruka glared, "We come all the way out here, spending every ounce of time we have preparing and yet I…" he paused for a moment, "still haven't completed my mission."

"That," the brazen jounin replied, "was NOT what you were going to say. And since you're too much of a baby to say it, I will for you. You put all this effort in and still, in the end, you didn't even get to see Naruto's face."

Iruka set the mask down and rested his head back against the tree, "I'm not sure whether I still love Naruto or hate him. We were always so similar….but now he goes and does something like this…"

Anko sighed, "and of course, you start to remember when you considered running away from Konoha"

He head snapped to the side, "how do you know that…"

She stood on the other side of the tree, "It's far more common than you might think, Iruka. Most shinobi consider leaving at one time or another, and when someone does, everyone else worries that someday his or her loyalty might wane. I, of course, being the prime example."

Iruka had just a hint of curiosity on his face, so Anko continued.

"When Orochimaru first left, I was furious, but not because he had betrayed the village or because he had created some forbidden jutsus. I felt crushed that he hadn't taken me with him, all I cared about was the fact that he abandoned me."

She paused for a moment, to let in sink in, then went on, "It has been many years since he left, and even with him dead, I feel no sense of closure. There is a part of me that always has and always will see Orochimaru as the man who used to carry me around Konoha on his shoulders, pointing out people and explaining how to learn things about them just by observing how they acted. I still use his advice today."

"So essentially," Iruka said dryly, "what your saying is that I'll be haunted by this for the rest of my life?"

Anko shook her head, "Nah, you'll probably be dark and depressed for a month or two, but things will soon get back to normal. Besides, you might even meet Naruto on amiable terms again some day."

Iruka laughed slightly, "You talk of him as if you still like him, even after he mangled your leg."

She sighed again and rested a hand on Iruka's head, "When you've ruined and killed as many people as I have, you'll understand that holding a grudge has never done anyone any good."

Iruka just sat in contemplation as she got up and left, failing to hear her grumble under her breath, _"Though I would like to see the brat try to fight me without his precious sword…stupid long weapons...its like cheating…"_

As she was just about to jump into the trees, Iruka got up,

"So," he asked, "did any actual good come out of this?"

Anko forgot her grumbling and smiled, "Well, I will have a neat new battle scar," she winked at him, "If you're lucky, I might show it to you some day."

Iruka's mind took a few seconds to process the above statement. She had been cut on her left side, from her inner thigh, up through her leg and halfway up her side. So showing him the scar would require her to remove almost all her clo……

He blushed.

* * *

It has been said that there are times when people focus so much on a single goal, they forget about the big picture. 

Naruto lay on the ground, staring at the sky. They were less than a day from hidden cloud. He had absolutely no idea what he was going to do when he got there.

So far, the best he had come up with was wandering around with a 'will do B-rank missions for food' sign, but figured that wouldn't go over to well with the local authorities.

A short distance away, Temari sat examining the chessboard. Naruto had been telling the truth, she decided, the bastard fox was good. She was just about to move a piece when a repetitive thumping sound distracted her.

Naruto was beating his head against the ground in frustration, and failed to notice his audience. It wasn't until he heard laughing that he stopped and looked up.

"Rather than amusing yourself at my expense, how bout you try to come up with something yourself," he said, sounding only slightly annoyed.

Temari snickered and went back to trying to take the Kyuubi's queen, "Who says we need to start doing missions right away?" Temari said distractedly as she played, "why not just start off doing some odd jobs and getting a feel for the town?"

Naruto spent a moment just sitting there, trying to come up with a retort. He couldn't.

After noticing his silence, Temari turned to look at him, "see? You just think to linearly"

Realizing she was right (again), Naruto just flopped back down and starred up at the sky, mumbling about know-it-all sand nins. Temari absent-mindedly picked up one of her training water balloons and threw it at him.

The two arrived at the hidden cloud just as night was falling and the gate was being closed. As they had no passports and really weren't supposed to be there, they waited until the gate was fully shut and started walking around the outer perimeter of the wall.

There were never enough guards to have a constant vigil all along the wall, so they moved in shifts. After half an hour of observation, Naruto and Temari waited for a patrol to pass and jumped over the wall, landing quietly on the other side.

Upon the mutual decision that they didn't have money for a hotel, the first order of business was to find an area to sleep. Temari suggested they look for a training area within the city walls, as they would be generally deserted at night, and not 30 minutes later, they found just such a place.

Spending only a moment to hide their bag in some brush, the two Nukenins found themselves with a whole village to explore. Naruto insisted that he needed new wrappings for his sword, and set off to find a fabric shop while Temari went to buy food.

Naruto wandered through the crowds of people, holding his sword at his side and trying to make it as subtle as a 9-foot sword can be. It only took half an hour to get his wrappings and wrap up Seirei Kirite, so Naruto amused himself by sitting on top of a building and examining his surroundings.

As had been the case in hidden sound, hidden cloud looked like any other village. Various people, with or without forehead protectors wandered by, going about their business.

He just sat and watched for about twenty minutes, then realized he needed to get back, and bounced across the rooftops back to their designated sleeping area.

Temari barely even twitched as Naruto dropped down next to her and grabbed up a cup of instant ramen.

"Water?" he asked grumpily

Temari handed him a pot of warm water and he poured it over his ramen. She looked him over slowly for a moment, "what could have possibly happened in the last hour to annoy you so much?"

Naruto poked at his still hard ramen, "I was just watching people"

"Why is it," Temari said semi-rhetorically, "that the people blessed with the greatest power always envy those with no power whatsoever?"

Naruto snorted, "Here's a imaginary situation for you, I'm in a bank when it is being robbed, I have to decide whether to use my 'great power' or not, and my decision either way could cost people their lives. Robbers are evil by most people's definition, but so am I. Do I kill them? Do I help them? What should I do?"

Despite the fact that it was just a hypothetical situation, Temari found herself trying hard to come up with an answer.

He gave her a few seconds and observed her confusion.

"Whoever it was," Naruto continued, "that said that responsibility comes with power wasn't referring to being spiritually bound to a demon, but the principle applies all the same. I didn't ask for my power, but when the pressures on, I have to make a decision, hoping it's the right one."

He paused for a moment, and looked off into space, "Then again, how do I even decide what 'right' is"

That statement just hung in the air for a moment, then Temari shook her head slightly, "ok…that's enough philosophy for now, my brain is hurting. I'll never understand how people like you and Gaara can just ponder these things all day long and still be sane."

Naruto raised an eyebrow, "Sane?"

It suddenly occurred to Temari that Gaara was best known for his random squishing of people and sand that was alive, while Naruto, on the other hand, was a perfect gentleman whenever he wasn't busy killing things, and had a talking sword that played a mean game of chess.

"Never mind," she muttered

Smirking, Naruto started to eat his semi-cooked ramen.

* * *

Naruto and Temari slept side by side, as was their custom, so when Naruto was rudely awakened, he bumped into the sleepy sand girl beside him, and both of them immediately started to realize that the noise that had woken them was actually someone talking, just VERY loudly. 

"What do we have here? A young couple, no doubt fleeing from oppression to elope together and live out their dreams! AH! How I am INSPIRED!"

Naruto closed his eyes, slowly counted to five, and opened them again. The obnoxious man was still there. It seemed the fates truly hated him.

Naruto smiled, "who are you, and why the HELL are you waking me up this early."

He and Temari had just gotten to sleep a couple of hours before and were looking forward to at least another 4 hours.

"I," the man said, "am Cirrus, and you need to vacate our field, young man, so my glorious students may train their bodies and minds so as to better BURN with flaming passion! We must start before the sun rises so as to allow more time for our great pursuit!"

Temari was now also fully awake and noticed three children standing behind the man, all looking somewhat exasperated and embarrassed. Naruto just glared, it figured that every village had its weirdoes, but why they always managed to congregate around him was a mystery.

"Fine…" Naruto said as he climbed out of his bag and put on his vest, ignoring the blushing of various observers. He looked at Temari pointedly, but she shook her head.

"I don't care if this is their field, I'm not getting out of my bag with THEM watching."

The four cloud nins (for it was obvious that was what they were) immediately jumped and turned, the two young girls still blushing from Naruto's brazen shirtless-ness.

Temari was struck by the surrealism as she rushed to change out of her nightshirt and into her regular clothes. Only with Naruto would she be dressing at four AM next to the turned backs of unknown shinobi. She was just glad she had removed her forehead protector before turning in.

Once Temari was dressed, Naruto quickly packed their sleeping bags and everyone just stood awkwardly for a moment. Cirrus, however, soon banished the awkwardness with raw enthusiasm, as he grabbed his pupils and pulled them in front of him.

"Alas, I forget my manners. Students! How could we displace these people from their resting place without first introducing ourselves?"

All three sighed collectively, but the first girl stepped forward and suddenly exploded with enthusiasm, "Nimbus: The Silent Rain!"

The second girl jumped up to join her, "Cumulus: The Lightning Fist!"

The boy did a flip and landed between them, "Stratus: Shinobi of a Thousand Faces!"

Naruto and Temari just held their gear and stared blankly, but it wasn't over yet.

The annoying jounin suddenly appeared behind his students and thrust his finger into the sky, "Cirrus: The Human Hurricane! …and together we ARE"

They all called in unison, "Cloud Team 5: The Storm of Righteous Fury!"

Naruto had seen many things in his life, but he was currently standing with his mouth agape, reconsidering whether he wanted to stay in hidden cloud.

Once their intro was over, the three students sighed again and hung their heads as their teacher clapped happily, "well done, you three! I expect that kind of performance in your training today as well!"

At this point, Temari had taken hold of Naruto's arm and the two were backing away slowly, when Cirrus suddenly spun back to them, "Ah! You must not leave yet, in return for the use of our field, I ask nothing more than the stories of the many trials and tribulations that have brought two passionate young people such as yourselves to a place like this! Will you not stay?"

Naruto froze up for a minute, Temari was pulling on his arm, trying to drag him away, but he suddenly got an idea. A wonderful, amazing, dastardly idea.

"I would like nothing more," Naruto said with a grin, "than to pass on my story so that it might inspire future generations!"

Temari looked at him as if he had grown another head, but Cirrus was practically beaming, and waved off his students while leading the two nukenin over to a log and sitting down.

Cumulus, Nimbus and Stratus started into some basic warm up exercises while Naruto and Temari sat with Cirrus on the log.

"Well," Naruto started off thoughtfully, "my tale begins many years ago, when my older brother murdered my entire family…"

* * *

Authors Notes: When I started this story, I decided that I wasn't going to start any others until I finished it. However, this story shows no signs of being done any time soon, and I have not one but two ideas for new stories that are bouncing around inside my head, and have already started to draft both of them. 

The point of all this is that I'm looking for a few people to pre-read the prologues for Aim For The Blind Spot and Unseen and give me some feedback. If you happen to be interested, you can say so in a review, leaving your e-mail adress, or just e-mail me directly

On a completely different note, am I the only one who has always figured every village has their own version of Maito Gai? That one person whose exuberance does nothing but drive everyone else up the wall?

I cut Cirrus from the same mold as Gai, but a lot of his character came to me while watching the DBZ episodes with the Ginyu force, a deadly squad of intergalactic warriors who introduce themselves by yelling and posing ridiculously. Even if you dislike dragon ball z, I'd say those few episodes are worth watching.

But I digress….

Next Chapter: Naruto weaves a new identity and Gaara finds out that someone tied up his sister

Be afraid, Shikamaru. Be very afraid.


	17. Not For Those Allergic to Angst

"Well," Naruto started off thoughtfully, "my tale begins many years ago, when my older brother murdered my entire family. It just came out of the blue; one day we were a successful though small family of blacksmiths, and the next, everyone was dead. I managed to escape only because of pure luck. When he finally came for me, I grabbed an unfinished knife off the wall and tried to fend him off. He was very experienced, but blood made his hands slippery and he lost his grip on his weapon for just a second, in that second, I thrust my blade into his stomach and ran out of the house, never to look back. I was about 6 at the time"

Naruto was pleased at the reaction he got, Cirrus' eyes were wet and the man looked truly sad. Suddenly, he started openly sobbing and Naruto found himself engulfed in a crushing bear hug, "Ah! To overcome such hardship must have required amazing strength!"

The boy wanted to respond, he really did, but an odd tingling sensation was running all throughout his body. He had also felt an odd tingling when Temari had hugged him, but that had been more of a warm tingle and this was more a 'circulation being cut off' tingle.

He looked over Cirrus' shoulder and glared at Temari, who was currently laughing silently at his predicament. Once the big man finally let go, Naruto made a mental note to lessen the angst from now on, he valued his skeletal structure.

Cirrus took a step back and rubbed his head bashfully, "I must apologize, for I fear I was overcome by emotion."

Naruto worked the kinks out of arms, "No kidding, but if I can get back to my story…"

Cirrus smiled innocently, "By all means"

Naruto took a moment to think. He had theorized that it would be difficult to make up a decent sounding back-story on the fly, so he had decided that the most logical thing to do was combine the original material he had made up in the past with ideas from the histories of people he knew. He had always been told that the best lies were somehow based on truth.

"After that, I managed to somehow find my way to the nearby hidden village of mist, where I worked for a barber who was an ex-nin and taught me some basic mist jutsus in his spare time." Naruto braced himself, making sure Cirrus wasn't going to physically demonstrate his emotion again, and continued,

"Very little of interest happened in those years, and I left the barber shop at the age of 9 to look for work as a blacksmith's apprentice. I found a shop that would allow me to work in exchange for room and board, and spent the next year and a half working there, I would have been happy working there till I was 18, but fate intervened. It turned out that the blacksmith I was working for was loyal to a nin named Momochi Zabuza, ever heard of him?"

Cirrus nodded, "Yes indeed, the devil of the hidden mist, failed a coup d'etat and fled the village with his followers, who I'm guessing included…"

"My master and I, that's right." Naruto finished, "I somehow got dragged along and found myself being trained in various ninja arts, awaiting the day that the hunter-nins would catch up to our group. I quickly decided I wanted nothing to do with a group of missing-nins (Naruto almost grinned at the irony) and I ran away one night, slipping away in the dark"

Cirrus thrust his arm out and pumped it in the air, "Such Bravery! I find myself in awe of your burning passion for life!"

"……….."

"I tremble at the mere thought! A young man, desperately trying to escape a horrible situation, fighting valiantly for his freedom!"

"……..ok then" Naruto said, not quite sure how to respond to that, "anyway, I found myself an 11 year old with a wide range of skills but no connections to anyone, so I just started to wander from town to town doing odd jobs. Most of the time, people took pity on me and paid a high price for me to just do basic tasks."

Cirrus nodded while stroking his chin, "Ah yes, using one's youth and cuteness for monetary gain, very clever."

Naruto glared, "would you PLEASE stop interrupting me with your comments?"

Cirrus stopped smiling, "No, they're needed."

"Why?"

"Because people who are lying tend to slip up when their story flow is disrupted"

Temari started to get nervous as Naruto responded, "What do you think I'm lying about?"

Cirrus looked at him oddly, "Actually, I'm not sure. Most of what you said had the feel of truth to it."

Naruto mentally patted himself on the back, "Then what makes you think I'm lying at all?"

While waiting for an answer, the boy ran through everything he had said, looking for a flaw, and realized it the same moment a Cirrus spoke,

"You made the same mistake so many people in your situation make, it's a subconscious defense reaction that develops with all who are on the run. You're so willing to tell me what I want to know, but haven't told me your name yet."

The tension hung in the air for a moment, as all three nins waited for something to happen. Naruto knew he had made a mistake and that his cover was at least semi-blown, but Cirrus looked to be waiting for him to make the first move.

"Fushichou Naruto is my name, but I'm afraid I've given up all my cool titles"

Cirrus nodded slowly, "For some, a title is something from which to draw strength, while for others it is a weight that drags you down a path you wish to avoid," he turned, "and you would be?"

The sand girl was more abrupt, "Temari."

Silence reigned again for a moment, until Nimbus landed next to the group and immediately noticed the odd atmosphere, "Is everything ok here?"

Cirrus suddenly regained his energy and smiled brightly, "Indeed, I was just enthralled by Naruto-kun's story. He has led a most amazing life!"

Nimbus looked to Naruto in curiosity, "Is it okay if I listen?"

The cloud jounin grinned brighter, "That sounds like a most excellent idea, in fact…" He turned to his other students, "STRATUS! CUMULUS! Take a break and come listen, you might learn something"

His other slightly beat up students landed among their little group, breathing heavily.

Cirrus gave Naruto a look, "Continue on Naruto-san, don't mind us."

Naruto wasn't really sure what was going on, so he dove back into his story, "During my travels, I found my way to hidden sand….."

/-/-2 hours later-/-/

Cirrus and Naruto sat under a tree at the edge of the training area while Temari and the cloud gennin did some light Taijutsu sparring.

Naruto looked conflicted, and opened his mouth to speak when Cirrus held up a hand, "You know kid, you tell really good stories. Even I stopped bothering to try deciphering the truth from what you made up. In fact, I really don't want to know the truth. You've shown no hostile intentions, and until that happens, I'll treat you the same as any other guest of the hidden cloud."

Naruto looked down, "Thank you"

Cirrus suddenly lost his air of seriousness, "No need to thank me! I am a friend of all who burn with YOUTHFUL EXUBERANCE!"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Gaara stood in on the hunter debriefing as the representative of sand. Currently, Kakashi was reporting their actions right before Neji's confrontation of Naruto.

"And so, I…" the masked jounin glanced at Gaara, "very gently knocked Temari unconscious, ran to the rendezvous, and passed her off to Shikamaru, who then used ropes to tie her…"

Kakashi suddenly paused and the whole room went silent as Shikamaru suddenly found himself engulfed in sand up to his neck.

Gaara was completely calm as he spoke, "Why have you stopped? Continue with your report."

Kakashi coughed into his hand, "Well, after very GENTLY and CAREFULLY tying Temari up, Shikamaru stood guard. Unfortunately, due to certain…oversights, she was able to escape unharmed by overpowering him."

The masked jounin figured it was best to mention Temari's escape as soon as possible.

Time passed as Kakashi gave his report until he reached the part about his and Temari's confrontation in the forest. At this point, Gaara's sand started to drift around the room, so Kakashi again rushed to the part where he was his by the steam blast, and the sand quieted.

Sitting on the sidelines, Iruka could see only to well the truth in what Kakashi had told him in the forest. Gaara was looking murderous enough at the thought of his sister being tied up.

Fortunately, the rest of session was violence free, as Iruka, Ibiki and Anko gave their respective reports. The Hokage dismissed them, and they all filed outside. Shikamaru was the last out the door, and was about to head home and take a nap when he was suddenly engulfed in sand again.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Naruto smirked slightly as Temari landed next to him. Cirrus had taken her place in the quickly degenerating sparring session and was currently taunting Stratus to the point of insanity. The sand girl glared painfully at him, "Dammit, it actually hurts to have to hold back this much"

Naruto shrugged, "A body trained to react instantly and with deadly precision is difficult to restrain. We train for hours every day to make ourselves as deadly as possible, so containing those combat instincts can be difficult"

His voice suddenly became slightly strained, "But its kind of funny to watch them, isn't it?"

Temari looked up at the sky, "yeah."

Naruto shifted closer and the two of them leaned gently against each other.

"How long ago was it?" He asked as Cirrus struck a pose while his students sighed, "Or were we ever so innocent?"

Temari laughed, but her voice had a sad tone to it, "We were, but that time seems now like it was a foolish daydream"

Naruto nodded in silent acknowledgement

The two of them watched as Nimbus and Cumulus snuck behind Stratus and jumped him, grappling him to ground and tying him up with twine. The two girls mercilessly tickled the restrained boy, only to scream when Cirrus tackled them from behind, forming an odd dog pile of laughing forms.

"Why," she asked suddenly, "do you put so much trust in Cirrus? We don't even know anything about him."

Naruto thought carefully, "That man knows what it truly is to be a shinobi, and yet he continues to be one. He understands how difficult life can be."

Stratus managed to escape his bonds and crawled out from the pile to dive on top of it.

"How do you know all this?" Temari asked

"Something changes in a person when they've been subjected to too much pain and loneliness, and it's obvious for those of us who know what we're looking for."

At that moment, his voice sounded so sad that it struck Temari on some deep level. Unable to think of anything else to say, she reached an arm over Naruto's shoulder pulled him just a little closer, and felt him hesitantly reach around her waist a moment later. The two of them just sat and watched the cloud nins at play, as they held each other in a semi-hug.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Shikamaru was in darkness for some time, but was patient. Eventually, the sand on his head retracted and he found himself in a small room facing Gaara, Kankuro and Baki. The shadow user had known something like this would happen to at least one member of the team, but he had been hoping it wouldn't be him.

It was common practice in situations like this for any secondary group with an interest in the mission (in this case, the sand) to conduct their own unofficial debriefing. Shikamaru looked at the three people before him.

Gaara growled, "You will tell me everything that happened in your own words, I want to know every detail of what you observed about my sister"

Shikamaru just sighed; it was going to be a long night.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/One Month Later/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

As evening fell, Temari stood the training field, surrounded by various clones. Cumulus and Stratus used the regular variety, whereas Nimbus favored water clones. She knew that somewhere in the crowed of clones were the real people, but finding them would be a chore.

What she was currently doing was what Cirrus called 'Teamwork Exercises', what that meant was that Stratus, Cumulus and Nimbus had to, using any means possible, try to overcome either Naruto or Temari, who were both restricted to taijutsu.

So far, the cloud Gennin had lost a consecutive 59 times.

Currently, for their 60th try, Temari was noticing a distinct use of Naruto-esque tactics. Unfortunately, the 'make a million clones and attack blindly' strategy wasn't working any better for them than it had for Naruto.

The spar had been going on for 6 minutes now and Temari had destroyed almost two thirds of clones and didn't even have a scratch on her. Though still hidden, the three attackers knew this fight would be over shortly and collectively grumbled. Every time a match ended, the 'defender' would change, and that meant Naruto was up next. Now and then, the gennin would hit upon a good plan and had almost gotten Temari once or twice, but for all their attempts, they hadn't even landed a hit on the fox boy.

Naruto and Temari only ever spent half the day with Cirrus and his team, the rest of the time they spent either entertaining themselves or practicing with their respective weapons and testing out higher level jutsus in the wilderness right outside hidden cloud. They were living pretty boring lives and hadn't taken on any real missions yet, but they were both content.

After their first day, the two had quickly become unofficial additions to The Storm of Righteous Fury. Nowhere were they registered, but their help allowed Team 5 to complete more tasks in a day (more dogs walked and more weeds pulled than any other gennin team), and in return, the two Nukenins got some money and were allowed to sleep in the training field.

Naruto stood off to one side, waiting for his turn to 'train'. He watched amusedly as another six clones were taken out by a spinning kick on Temari's part. He hadn't told her yet, but he knew it would soon be time to leave. He had seen the signs; some of the other cloud jounin were getting suspicious.

He didn't feel particularly sad about leaving. The gennin viewed him more as a superior than a companion, despite their similar ages, and he hadn't really had much contact with anyone outside the team. In fact, Cirrus was the only one Naruto really thought he would miss.

Naruto and Cirrus had formed a somewhat odd relationship over the course of their various interactions and they shared a rare understanding. Most of their communication was done without words, as both were much more withdrawn when not in a group of people.

Temari had one night seen them laying in the field starring at the stars, and had some back four hours later to see that neither had moved. They weren't speaking, and yet, Temari had felt that had she said anything, she would have been interrupting.

Naruto could truly say that he saw the slightly odd man as a friend, though their friendship had developed in a rather bizarre way.

/-/-/-Flashback-/-/-/

It was the seventh day after Cirrus first found them lying in his training field, and after a particularly long day of training, the jounin had offered to take the two of them out to dinner, as they really didn't have any money left.

Naruto instantly suggested Ramen, which was received with annoyance and bemusement by Temari and Cirrus respectively; but Naruto eventually convinced the sand girl, so they found themselves at an 'all you can eat' ramen stand.

Temari quickly finished her one bowl of ramen, and declared she was going back to polish her fan, leaving Naruto and Cirrus happily inhaling their noodles.

After 11 bowls, Naruto patted his belly and turned to his companion, "I have to say I'm curious about something…"

"Really, what?" was what Cirrus meant to say, but since his mouth was full it came out more like "wiwee, fwa?"

Naruto rested his elbow on the counter and leaned on his hand, "Why are you helping us?"

Cirrus swallowed, "Why wouldn't I?"

The jounin tensed as Naruto's eyes narrowed, "If it were just me, I would be fine with us both playing fools, but I have someone else to look out for, and you know perfectly well that we're not supposed to be in this village. I've been as straight with you as I can be, so I want the same from you."

Cirrus leaned back on his stool, so only two legs touched the ground, "I suppose that's fair, but the answer is simple. I envy your conviction."

Naruto was mildly surprised, but he didn't show it, "Elaborate."

Cirrus gestured to the owner to get him another bowl, "When I was sixteen, I was still a gennin, and had been dating one of my teammates for a year and a half. I supposed what we had might have one day led to something more, since I always wanted kids, but we were one day assigned what was supposed to be a simple mission, just hunting down some highway robbers, but they had a few chuunin level nins among them."

The old man returned with the Ramen, and Cirrus asked for a beer before returning to his story, "It really shouldn't really have been a big deal, our teacher, Tsume Hirato, was a jounin, so logically, we should have won without much trouble."

Cirrus stopped talking, and looked lost in the past, so Naruto decided to prod him forward slightly, "And what happened during the battle?…"

Cirrus leaned back a bit further, balancing and putting his legs up on the counter, "Ha, there was no battle. Within seconds of our ambush, my two teammates were down with minor wounds. Not expecting such a fast response, and now missing most of his, " Cirrus spoke bitterly, "meat shield, our jounin instructor turned and ran."

He pulled up his left sleeve, revealing that most of the skin was discolored scar tissue. "With the major threat gone, we stood no chance. My teammates died helpless, on the ground, and I escaped by using my arm to shield myself from the rain of Kunai that followed me. I was hit 27 times, and almost lost my arm."

His beer arrived, and he grabbed a paper cup and poured some into it, "I arrived at headquarters after being released from the hospital to check on the mission report. All it said was 'Mission Failed: 2 Casualties', those words were the sum total of how much the village valued the lives of my friend and love. Tsume wasn't even reprimanded "

He passed the paper cup of beer to Naruto, who looked at it curiously.

"At that moment, I wanted nothing more than to run as far as I could from Hidden Cloud and all it represented, but I never worked up the nerve. All I have been able to do is make sure that at least one gennin team has a teacher who will never abandon them."

Naruto sat quietly for a moment, "But that's a lot better than nothing, isn't it?"

Cirrus smiled slightly and held up his bottle, "To the burning passion of youth"

Naruto's raised his paper cup, "To the burning passion of youth…"

/-/-/-End Flashback-/-/-/

Cirrus had been a bit more withdrawn for a couple of days, and his students had inquired about his health when he had kept his voice at normal volume and only made them run through their introductory pose sequence three times one morning, instead of the usual ten.

After that, Naruto had started to treat Cirrus with more respect, even when the man was leaping through the air yelling about energy and spirit.

Naruto looked up to see that Temari was just finishing off the clones, revealing three wiped out gennin. She hadn't even broken a sweat.

She wandered over to what had become the two's sitting spot, "Your turn."

He shook his head, "We're done for the day, we have things we need to do"

Temari shrugged, "ok, so what are the 'things we need to do' "

"We need to get out of here tonight. There have been too many people inquiring about our presence."

She shook her head, "and whose fault is that, exactly?"

/-/-/-Flashback-/-/-/

Three weeks after their arrival, the three again found themselves going out to eat. Refusing ramen, they were eating in a rather typical Bar & Grill type of place. For the first few minutes, everything had been fine, but then Naruto started to notice things.

There were a number of nins eating, and many of them were whispering and pointing in Cirrus' direction, a few of them started laughing and pretended to strike poses. Naruto was just about to say something, when a group approached their table.

The middle one, obviously the leader, spoke first, "Eating with mercenaries, Cirrus? I never thought even you would sink this low."

A large number of nins looked down on people without ninja training who fought for money. Without forehead protectors, and with Naruto carrying around a sword as big as his, a weapon no normal shinobi would use, most would assume they were mercenaries.

Naruto stood up and glared, "I don't kill for money."

The nin smirked arrogantly at him, "Oh? How do you decide who to kill then?"

It was here that Naruto made his fatal mistake, in his anger; he let some of his chakra seep out as he bared his fangs, "Whomever I want."

The group offending nins suddenly started to look extremely nervous and backed off, but Cirrus grabbed his arm and dragged him out of the restaurant, Temari following.

Once they were outside, Cirrus sighed, "That was VERY stupid, Naruto"

Naruto, of course, knew this already, and was hanging his head. He had a feeling this was going to come back and haunt him later.

/-/-/-End Flashback-/-/-/

From that day on, people had started to glance in his direction whenever he walked by, and he had heard a few of the rumors. They were all crap, but people soon started to take an interest in him. So now they had to leave.

Naruto and Temari started to pack up the few things they had as Stratus, Cumulus and Nimbus stretched in the field. Noticing something was amiss from his vantage point, Cirrus landed next to them, "Isn't it your turn to defend, Naruto-kun?"

The boy shook his head, "I'm afraid we need to get ready, we're going to be leaving tonight."

Cirrus looked sad, but not surprised, "Ah yes, I feared this day would come soon"

Temari called over to the gennin in the field, "Hey, you guys! Come over here for a second!"

After everyone was made aware of the their departure, things were packed up, and Cirrus gave everyone bear hugs (even his students, just for the heck of it), Naruto and Temari left the field that had been their home for a month, and headed for the wall. Naruto looked upset as they approached the barrier, and veered off at the last minute.

The girl looked at him oddly as he went into a convenience store and started looking through a phonebook.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Stratus was awakened the next morning by a knocking on his door, and was surprised to find a member of the village police on the other side.

"Excuse me," the man said, "all the shinobi in the village are gathering, there's been an incident."

When Stratus arrived at the base of the tower, he looked around in awe; he had never seen this many shinobi in one place before.

The Raikage emerged from the tower and looked over the group assembled before him, "This morning, a mailman found one of our shinobi murdered in his bed," a gasp went through the crowd, "his name was Tsume Hirato, a jounin. I want you all to go about your normal business, but rest assured that matter will be fully investigated. That is all."

Stratus rushed to the training field, where his teammates were waiting for him. The three started to excitedly talk about the Raikage's announcement, waiting for their teacher to arrive.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Temari watched Naruto as they walked. Her eyes flickered towards the bloodstains on his sword wrappings, "Did he deserve that?"

Naruto looked back at her, "Yes."

She tilted he head sideways and looked at him searchingly, then nodded.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Cirrus was sitting at the ramen stand in the exact same seat he had sat in three weeks before, staring at the open but untouched bottle of beer in front of him.

He couldn't describe how he felt right then, it was a combination of so many emotions. Cirrus had access to information that was normally restricted, Tsume Hirato hadn't just been killed, he had been cut cleanly in half.

Everything Cirrus had experienced flashed through his mind in an instant, the most vivid image being that of his teammates, lying abandoned as they were set upon from all sides. The voice of the only girl he had ever loved, screaming her last.

Tears ran down his face as he raised his bottle in a silent toast, and took one swig.

He set the rest on the counter with some money, and wiped his face on his sleeve. It was time to meet his students.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Authors Notes: This is the longest and probably most serious chapter I've ever written, but that's not why it took so long to get out.

I spent the week mostly getting feedback and editing my new stories, and I want to thank everyone who volunteered to pre-read, but since I had a rather large number of offers, I randomly picked ten, and an extra-special thanks goes out to those people.

After much deliberation (I stared at my ceiling fan for 20 minutes) I have decided to post Unseen sometime soon, but will probably only update it once a week or so until NCT is finished.

To answer someone's question of why Naruto wraps his sword instead of just transforming it into a Kunai, A) Because I figure Henge has size limits and B) Because Kisame does it that way, and the shark man probably does it for reason C) Because it looks cool

Next Chapter: The journey to a new city, a mission, and rumors of a mysterious figure known only as _'The Dark Avenger'_


	18. Stalkers Who Play Guitar

His ears ringing, an almost awake Naruto swiped at the alarm clock next to his bed.

It took him a moment to remember where he was, and he stretched as he sifted through recent memories. They had left hidden cloud 2 days ago, and were currently in a small town, only a day's travel from Oceanside; the next city they planned to visit.

From the looks of the room, Temari had already left, probably to see the musicians. Their current location was named Snocken, which Naruto felt was a very odd name, but Snocken was renowned for its street performers.

He grabbed his bag and headed out the door of their room, intent on seeking his companion. The streets seemed oddly empty as he wandered, and Naruto started to get suspicious.

He passed one or two small musicians, but nothing of interest, and no people. He finally asked someone what was going on, and an old man directed him to stage 6.

Once he arrived, he realized that luckily, it wasn't going to be very difficult to find Temari, as everyone in the town seemed to be gathered in one place. All the girls, at least.

On one of the larger stages that were scattered about the streets, two performers were playing to a crowed of love struck fans and their jealous boyfriends (who liked the music anyway)

The lead attraction was a dark haired guitarist, who played so fast, even someone of Naruto's reflexes was impressed. His instrument seemed like it was going to burst into flame as his hands danced over the strings. Behind him was a larger man who was beating out a steady tempo on a large African drum.

Naruto sighed as he noticed that Temari was just as enraptured as the rest of them, gazing up at the stage, and he took a moment to more closely examine the two performers, as something about them didn't feel quite right…

The drummer suddenly grinned at him in a distinctly sharklike way, and Naruto's eyes widened. It took only a minute for the song to finish, so Naruto had to think on his feet.

He pushed his way to the front of the crowed, turned his back to the stage, crossed his arms, and activated a few fear stimuli, "I'm sorry folks, but due to unforeseen circumstances, the show is over for now."

A collective groan came from the crowed, which started to dissipate, and Temari looked both annoyed and confused. Naruto jumped onstage and grabbed the guitarist's shoulder, "What the hell are you two doing here, Itachi?"

The Uchiha activated his Sharingan for a moment, "Various things, Naruto-kun, but primarily looking for you."

The boy looked confused, "why?…."

Kisame leaned over from his position at his drum, "We'll talk somewhere more private"

Naruto just grabbed his head, "Ok, you guys grab your stuff and I'll take you back to our room."

Both Kisame and Itachi raised simultaneous eyebrows and spoke in tandem, "You did say _our_ room didn't you?"

He glanced at Temari, who was still on the ground in front of the stage and looking even more confused. The Akatsuki followed his gaze, and Kisame grinned, "Already got a girl? You work fast, don't you brat?"

Naruto tightened his grip on his head, "Grab the instruments, explaining will be done later," he turned to Temari, who looked about to speak, "that applies to you too, all will become clear once we get out of the freaking street. I hope."

The genjutsu-ed forms of Itachi and Kisame grabbed their instruments and followed Naruto back to the hotel.

Once they were all standing in the room, the Akatsuki dropped their illusion, and Temari gasped slightly at Kisame's appearance. The drum poofed away to reveal Samehada, but Itachi's guitar seemed real.

Naruto sat on the bed, "Ok, first things first. Temari, this is Hoshigaki Kisame, and that's Uchiha Itachi, who are about to explain why they're stalking me and playing music for donations."

Naruto actually wasn't sure which of those two things he found weirder.

Itachi just leaned against the wall and pulled a stick of Pocky out of his pocket, giving Kisame a look that obviously meant that the shark man would be doing the explaining.

Kisame sighed, "We tracked you down pretty easily, as there aren't many places you can go from hidden cloud. As to why we're looking for you, we were traveling this way anyway, and have been given a mission offer that might interest you …" Kisame gave Temari an appraising look, "and your friend."

That made sense, so Naruto nodded, "Ok, but I'm still not getting the part where two S-Class Nukenins are playing music in the street"

The shark man sighed yet again, "We were given a mission allowance, but we were dropping Kiran off in a village up north, and there just happened to be a Pocky factory there, and coincidentally, it was Pocky appreciation week, and through mysterious circumstances, Itachi somehow managed to 'lose' our money bag and was 'given' a few hundred 'free' boxes of Pocky"

Still leaning against the wall, Itachi smiled to himself, "And, of course, Chicks dig guys who can play guitar."

Naruto had hung his head about halfway through Kisame's explanation, "So the two most deadly men on the planet are broke because Itachi has no self control?"

Itachi glared, "I do to!"

Naruto raised an eyebrow, "Really? Kisame said a few _hundred _boxes of pocky…"

Itachi's eyebrow rose to meet Naruto's, "Getting a bit mouthy, aren't we, brat?"

Unnoticed, Temari had been backing towards the door throughout their banter, and as Naruto and Itachi exchanged smirks, she turned and quickly went out. The other members of the room only noticed when they heard the door slam.

Everyone else stood frozen for a moment, then Naruto went to follow her. As the door slammed a second time, Kisame went for the remote from its perch on a side table and flicked on the TV.

Itachi grabbed another stick of chocolaty goodness and looked up at his partner, "That could have gone better"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Naruto looked both ways in the hallway, and saw the door to the stairwell at his left closing. He ran, and reached the door in four steps, pulling it open. He heard a sound above him, and started to climb the winding stairs.

He didn't rush, but moved methodically. He had gone up 4 floors when he heard the door to the roof, just moments later, he was facing that same door, and he opened it slowly, not wanting to startle the apparently bothered girl.

He stepped onto the roof and winced slightly as the sun hit his eyes. Temari was standing with her back to him, not appearing to be paying attention to much of anything.

When she spoke, it was in an odd tone of voice, "It's funny. I have actually heard of Hoshigaki Kisame, he killed most of Water countries generals and lords. 39 people in all. He also killed most of their guards and attendants, another 127 people."

Naruto was feeling an odd churning in his stomach as Temari slowly turned to face him, "He is a person of _very_ rare variety. He scares me shitless."

Temari's voice rose a notch, "And do you know what? The other one seems even more frightening! I was shaking! Me! The sister of Sabaku no Gaara is afraid of a little girly man with a ponytail."

She finally got fully turned around so she was facing him, "Those two are real S-class criminals, Naruto, and they're really dangerous!"

Naruto suddenly started get annoyed. Even after all their time together, she still didn't understand.

"We are all Nukenin, and we do what we have to. Kisame and Itachi have just had more difficult lives than we have. So they have had to kill more people"

Temari struggled with this for a moment, "So, that makes their killing okay?"

Naruto half sighed half growled, "Sometimes, yes. I didn't see you having moral qualms about killing that leaf hunter who went after you."

Temari glared, "But those two kill just because it's convenient, they're monsters!"

The sore spot had been struck.

Naruto suddenly took a step towards her, "Like me, you mean? You think I'm a monster?"

Temari shook her head, "But you're not normally like that! You only hurt people when…"

Naruto's red chakra started to pulse around him as he took another step forward, "when I need to? When people get in my way? Do you see a difference between what I do and what those two Akatsuki do?"

She lost a bit of her conviction, "yes…"

Suddenly, the chakra started to pulse more strongly, and Temari could feel the charge in the air as the red and blue energy surrounded Naruto.

He had held eye contact throughout their conversation, and his pupils suddenly contracted, narrowing into slits. Temari found herself fighting the urge to take a step back as he again moved slightly closer, his eyes burning into her, as if they could see into her soul.

He took another step closer.

Then another.

There was now only a couple feet separating them, and Naruto's chakra exploded outward.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Two heads snapped upwards, and Kisame muted 'Fear Factor'

Itachi sucked in a breath, "What are they _doing_ up there?"

His blue skinned partner shook his head, "I have no idea, but the brat sure is impressive. I have been thinking recently the his may be even bigger than yours, Itachi…"

Itachi looked at him, "Why would you be thinking about that?…Wait! His is NOT bigger than mine!"

Kisame shrugged, "I really don't know Itachi, I know you pretty well, and have seen you at work, but this kid just blows me away"

The Uchiha was starting to get annoyed, "Kisame, I'll have you know that you have never seen me 'at work', and even assuming you had, its how you use it that's important."

Kisame thought for a moment, "What about that girl in hidden rain? She did a number on you. Your control was pathetic!"

Itachi looked about to seizure, "How do you know about that!"

Kisame looked at his partner oddly, "I was there, remember?"

"You……you……what!"

Kisame nodded, "Since your memory appears to be shot, I took over after you fell unconscious. After just three rounds."

Itachi was confused and horrified at the same time. He didn't remember anything like that…

Kisame continued, "and plus, Naruto has been getting a lot of practice recently…"

"How do you mean?"

"Well, he has been traveling with that sand girl for some time now, and I'd guess they have one or two hours a day to spare. Add that up and you get a whole lotta time"

Itachi was almost hysterical, "Kisame, They're just kids still! How could they have an hour or two a day for _that!_"

Kisame was starting to get nervous about his partners mental health, "We both used to train for 8 hours a day, and we weren't much older than them, Itachi. We knew Naruto's chakra reserves would grow larger than ours, and I know your chakra control is almost perfect, so there's no need to get so touchy about it. I was just joking, sheesh."

Everything in Itachi's mind suddenly clicked into place, "We were talking about _chakra _size?"

His partner stared at him, "What did you _think_ we were talking about, Itachi?"

Itachi was silent, and a look of understanding suddenly passed over Kisame's face.

The shark man burst out laughing.

Itachi clenched his fists, "Dammit! Its not funny, Kisame! …… Fine then, laugh away, I'm going to go see what's going on"

Kisame followed, still snickering, "Well, I now know why you got your ass kicked in that fight with that rain jounin last year…tsk tsk, Itachi, picking up chicks before missions is not a good thing"

Itachi swore at him from the hallway.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Temari found herself in a maelstrom; her senses overwhelmed completely by such huge amounts of chakra, and her skinned burned from the heat. She felt like she was standing inside a hurricane, yet wasn't being lifted off.

But through it all, she could still see those burning red eyes. Naruto took a final step closer, leaving only inches between them. His fangs had grown longer and his face markings darker, when he reached a hand up and grabbed her shoulder, she could feel claws.

"How about now, Temari-san? Do you think I'm a monster now?"

Temari opened her mouth to answer, but nothing came out. The figure in front of her was reminiscent of uncountable similar experiences with her brother. Every time Gaara had lost control, she had run as fast and far as she could.

But there was somewhere a part of her that wouldn't let her do it, and that same part of her was saying something, something that was very difficult to hear, but if she listened hard enough…

Naruto almost jumped when Temari suddenly reached up and grabbed hold of his arm and pulled him closer. The fox boy felt his menace draining away as her eyes lost their fear, and stared defiantly back into his.

When she spoke, it was just above a whisper, "You try to drive me away, but why? Why do you react in anger?"

Temari went on, thinking aloud, "You're trying to protect yourself. Your afraid I might hurt you so you withdraw, hiding behind your facade. I spent my whole life dealing with a person who did the same thing, and every time he put of his defenses, I ran away."

Naruto opened his mouth, but found himself incapable of speech as Temari slowly leaned her body on to his, still whispering, "But now I'm stronger, and there's a flaw in your defense. If someone has enough courage, they can exploit it"

The fox boy's mouth was dry, but he forced words out, "an…and what i..is that?"

"Your defenses won't force me away if I can get close enough to you"

She took a deep breath, then pulled his body fully up against hers and kissed him.

Naruto was frozen for a moment, but slowly felt that familiar and pleasant tingling run through his body. He relaxed and reached one arm round the small of her back.

Over at the still open door to the roof, two figures stood watching.

Kisame looked down at Itachi, "Correct me if I'm wrong, but are those two making out in the eye of a chakra storm?"

"hmm," Itachi said in acknowledgement

"How long do figure it'll be before Naruto drops from chakra depletion?"

Itachi pulled out his watch, "I'd say about ……7……6…...5……4……3……2…...now"

Temari gasped as Naruto suddenly went limp and the chakra around them dissipated.

She quickly laid him out on the roof and put her head to his chest, and was relieved to hear slow steady breathing. She sat up and felt a presence beside her.

Kisame crouched down and hoisted Naruto over his shoulder, "Well, well, it appears our little friend was too 'distracted' ", Temari blushed, "and wasn't paying attention to his chakra reserves. It's not to bad, though, so he should be up after a nights sleep."

The shark man stood up, and started to head for the stairs. Itachi just stood in the middle of the roof, and watched as Temari stared up at the sky. After a few minuyes, she slowly walked over to him, "You," she said, "have killed a lot of people."

Itachi nodded

Temari looked down at her feet, "I…want you to tell me why. I want to know why you kill people."

Itachi's expression didn't change, "Why do you wish to know?"

"Because I am a missing nin…but I don't understand you people yet," Temari looked to Naruto's unconscious form, held by Kisame like a sack of potatoes, "I don't understand yet…but I want to"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

The dark avenger stood atop a building, his various minions surrounding him. In his right hand he clutched a newspaper, and he seemed relatively lost in thought.

His foremost minion stepped forward, the sound forehead protector he wore glinting in the light, "So, what are we going to do?"

The avenger let his gaze sweep over the pitiful remains of a once great military, "We have no choice. I will not allow the last of Orochimaru-sama's legacy to be destroyed by Konoha scum."

The assembled shinobi nodded, and collectively vanished, the only trace that anyone had been there being the newspaper that slowly drifted to the ground. A gust of wind blew over the building, causing the paper to unroll, revealing the headline:

**UCHIHA SASUKE CAPTURED! EXECUTION IMMINENT!**

**/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/**

The next day, Naruto lay in bed, happily eating warm ramen, when he heard arguing outside the room.

Itachi burst into the room, followed by his partner.

Kisame was looking very conflicted, "Itachi! You can't just pull shit like this! What is the council going to say!"

Itachi stopped dead, "Screw the council. Screw our mission. You can tell those old bums whatever you want. I have to do this."

Naruto looked from one to the other, noodles still hanging from his mouth, "What's happened?"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Temari returned to the hotel just in time to hear Naruto bellow: "WHAT! Your Kidding!"

She rushed into the room, and found everyone else sitting around the small round side table.

Itachi was speaking, "I'm quite serious. I didn't spare my little brother all those times just to watch him get killed for coming after me."

Both Kisame and Naruto were looking at him incredulously, their hands simultaneously tapping on the hilts of their swords iout of nervous habit.

Itachi just glared at them, "Why do you two care so much, anyway?"

They both looked at him as if he were dumb, "We're going with you."

The Uchiha blinked, started to shake his head, when Naruto cut in, "Now, either we can have a long painful argument, ending with you agreeing to our coming along, or you could just say 'yes' now."

Itachi sighed, "fine"

Temari started waving her hands in the air, "What? What are we doing?"

Naruto looked up at her, "We're doing exactly what I was hoping to never do again. We're going back to Konoha, to stop the bastard from getting himself killed."

She turned to Kisame, "Translation?"

He hefted Samehada, "Uchiha Sasuke has been captured and is headed for execution. It looks like we're going to save him."

Temari looked skeptical, "We are going to take on a whole village of people to save one person? Four of us?"

All three S-Class nukenins stared, and Naruto nodded, "Well…yeah…Is there a problem with that?"

She looked at the faces around her and sighed, "You males are all freaks. I suppose now we need to start getting ready? Can you two get all your stuff in less than 30 minutes?"

The two Akatsuki nodded and left the room, Itachi grabbing his guitar as he went out the door.

Once they were alone, Temari flopped down on the bed next to Naruto, and leaned up against him, allowing him the space to slide an arm around her waist.

They hadn't spoken since the day before, but there was only the slightest bit of awkwardness between them. Naruto needed to break the ice somehow, so naturally, he just went for the first thing that popped into his head

"You seem to be getting along with Itachi and Kisame today, what brought on this change?"

Temari was only slightly annoyed at his choice of topic, but just shook her head, "We were up late last night talking, we played the question game."

"The question game?"

"Yeah, all three of us sat in a circle and took turns asking someone else a question which they have to answer. It really helped me get used to them, and they're kind of amusing in their own way"

Mildly entertained at the thought of Kisame and Itachi playing slumber party games, Naruto grinned and laid his head back on the pillow.

"Actually," Temari said, "the game might have gone on longer, but Itachi and Kisame got into a little spat."

Naruto grinned wider, "Do tell."

"Well, it was Kisame's turn to ask, and he suddenly got a sneaky look on his face. I don't remember exactly, but his question had something to do with you and 'wang size'. Itachi almost killed him."

Naruto laughed for a minute, and then fell slowly quiet, so the two of the lay in silence, content to just hold each other.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

This chapter was more revised and rewritten than any other I've yet done, but I get the feeling that I can never get it perfect, so this is the final draft.

500 reviews! Far more than I ever expected for my first story, so everyone who reviewed; give yourselves a hug. Yes, even those of you who gave bad reviews. Those help to.

I now have something to admit, despite the many major events crammed into this one small chapter, my favorite scene is Kisame and Itachi's 'misunderstanding'. I know some people might not get it, and some will think I'm weird for writing it, but it's still the one I like best.

How did Itachi learn to play guitar? He used the Sharingan to copy someone elses skill.

I am asking for extra reviews on this one, as I am slightly unsure about this chapter and would like to be told what works and what doesn't.

Next Chapter: A rushed rescue involving a great deal of sneakiness. And explosives. We must not forget explosives.


	19. Dead Man Walking

Temari looked at her legs.

Just months ago, her legs had been well sculpted, but a bit thin. Currently, she looked to be able to crush a rhinoceros with them. Why were her legs gaining so much muscle, you ask?

She glared at the three people in front her, "We have been running for 20 FREAKING HOURS, we need to take a break!"

To her great chagrin, Naruto didn't even look tired as he looked back at her, "So? We don't know when the execution is going to be, we need to move fast."

She glared, "Listen, unlike the rest of you, I do not have unlimited stamina, and I need to whoa!…"

Her tirade was cut off as Naruto suddenly stopped, whipped his sword to Itachi, and grabbed her as she flew past, hoisting her onto his back and continuing on.

The Uchiha absentmindedly grabbed Seirei Kirite out of the air and leaned it against his shoulder as he ran.

It took Temari a moment to realize why she was still moving, and she poked Naruto's head, "You do understand that if this were any other situation, I would kick your ass for pulling a stunt like that."

Naruto just smirked, "But we're in this situation, so don't complain unless you want to run again"

Temari just grumbled and watched the world pass her by.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Haruno Sakura stood in front of the door, her heart beating fiercely.

Kakashi and Lee stood beside her for moral support, and she took a step forward and slowly turned the handle. When the door swung open, a 10 x 10 foot room was revealed, with no windows and only a single light bulb.

Within the room a single figure was strapped to the far wall, his mouth covered with a metal mask that prevented movement or speech, his limbs separately held to the wall by leather belts, and his fingers tied together with thread so as not to allow the use of hand seals.

He looked as if he were crucified against the wall, and Sakura felt the bile rise in her throat at the analogy. He had indeed been crucified; by the Hokage, by the Konoha Council, and by the general populace who had once loved him.

Sasuke slowly looked up as the door opened, the light stinging his unaccustomed pupils. The only parts of him that could move were his eyes, so he took full advantage of them to examine his visitors.

Sakura walked slowly into the room, and looked at who had once been the love of her life. She knew everything he had done; yet she still could not hold back her tears at seeing him like this.

They traveled silently down her face as she walked right up to him, and slowly reached up a hand to touch his face. "Look at you, Sasuke-kun…is this what you wanted?"

She dropped her hand and looked at the ground

"The press love you, only two survivors of a clan, and they're both S-class missing nins. Talk of 'cursed blood' is all over the tabloids, and people eat it up. I try to believe that somehow, all of this is just a big mistake…you…Naruto…but then I go meet with my new team and realize its real, its all horribly real."

Sasuke suddenly gained new light in his eyes, and tried to say something through his gag.

"mmph….phat appnd oo a'ruo"

Sakura looked back to Kakashi, who nodded carefully, and she reached to remove Sasuke's mask.

Once the gag and hunk of metal over his face was removed, the Uchiha stretched his neck and repeated, "What happened to Naruto?"

Sakura laughed bitterly, "You don't know? He left almost right after you did. A hunter team was sent after him, but no one will tell me what happened to him…I don't even know if Naruto is dead or alive."

Sasuke just gaped. He would have figured that Naruto leaving Konoha would be about as likely as Iruka dating Anko, or Rock Lee shaving his eyebrows, or Itachi coming to save him from execution.

Sasuke shook his head to clear this train of thought, and wondered where those odd similes had come from, but suddenly noticed Lee outside the door to the room. Where there had once been two large dark proud eyebrows on the green beasts face, there was just smooth skin.

Sasuke shivered.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Uchiha Itachi was running for his life.

Not literally, of course, since very few things (nothing, in fact) had ever made him truly run for his life. To be accurate, he was running in hopes of avoiding fan-thwappage.

That is, being thwapped with a fan. A rather large fan.

After 3 days of straight running, it had been announced by way of newspaper that Sasuke's execution would take place in 2½ weeks, plenty of time to get to Konoha. Needless to say, a certain girl with very blistered feet was out for blood.

Unfortunately for Temari, Itachi was not just strong; he was _very _fast. She growled as she smashed another tree trunk in half. It was rather obvious that she had a snowball's chance in hell of actually hitting him, but the destruction was therapeutic.

Naruto and Kisame just watched semi-amusedly from the sidelines, adding the occasional "ooh, close one" or "you almost got him there!"

This went on for about 6 minutes, then Temari's blisters caught up with her and she collapsed onto her knees, glaring at Itachi just for good measure.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/13 Days Later/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Tsunade stood atop her tower, holding the execution plans in her hand. She had no doubts that someone would try to free the condemned Uchiha; she just wasn't sure who yet. She worried about this new killer, the one called the 'dark avenger', who reeked of hidden sound. All his targets were leaf affiliated in some way, and the various methods of killing struck a chord in her that reminded her all too much of her snakelike ex-teammate.

All of Sasuke's friends and associates were under 24/7 ANBU surveillance, this included Kakashi, who was the only one so far to notice his 'watchers', but no suspicious activity had been observed.

She also worried about more powerful forces from outside the village trying to take advantage of the distraction, as the majority of Konoha would attend the execution.

The populace, having been denied any information about Naruto (or as they called him, 'The Demon'), wanted to see at least one traitor die. It never failed to disgust Tsunade that such common people could be so bloodthirsty, but she had no choice in Sasuke's fate.

The least she could do was make sure nothing else happened. The greatest threat would be a task force of ex-sound nins who penetrated the walls and made a full scale rescue attempt, if that happened, people would die in large numbers no matter which side won.

Her main priority would be making sure there was a solid perimeter around the stage where the execution would take place. The boy had chosen death by fire jutsu, which was the most painful but also most honorable, showing he had no fear. Tsunade thought it was rather fitting in a bitterly ironic way.

She was worrying like mad over everything, as her gut told her something big was going to go down in 4 days, so she would have to do her best and pray.

Across town, Sabaku no Gaara sat on the roof of building and stared off into the sky.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

The dark avenger was dressed all in black. Black shoes, black pants, and a black high-collar shirt. If not for the sound forehead protector he wore around his head, one might easily mistake him for a priest.

He pushed his glasses up on his nose as he carefully looked over the paltry forces he had at his command. He had very few illusions about his chance of success, but he was determined to make no mistakes.

He let his mind ponder the question of how to convince the guards to let them in. Tsunade had mostly likely closed the border, and he would have to be very sly to convince the guard that he needed to get into the village. Unfortunately, Jounin would most likely be the ones guarding the entrance, so his ploy would likely fail.

They were only hours from Konoha, and his team was prepping. They were infiltrating as journalists making a long and perilous journey to the village in hopes of getting a few minutes to speak with the condemned man. However, despite the clever guise, even they were allowed into the village, his odds of actually getting a chance to speak with Sasuke were essentially zero.

The dark avenger sighed and pinched his nose, the more he thought about it, the more he realized the he was just screwed.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Itachi calmly set his bag of Pocky on the ground and examined the scene before him. Naruto and Temari were seated on the ground, each holding a small number of cards, and they seemed to be oblivious to his presence.

As he observed their play, there were many questions plaguing the mind of Uchiha Itachi.

Where did that ominous music that always followed him around come from? Why did god make the platypus? Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one? Why was Temari wearing his clothes?

Being as sharp as it was, his mind quickly and efficiently prioritized these questions, deciding that the last was the most urgent. He made his presence known in the camp, but neither player looked up from their cards, so Itachi cleared his throat,

"Excuse me, Temari-san, why are you wearing my clothing?"

Temari didn't seem to hear him, so it was Naruto who responded, "Strip poker is no fun when you only wear 5 articles of clothing, and we have very few extra clothes of our own, so we borrowed some of yours."

Itachi felt a headache coming on, "Did it ever occur to you that I might not want you wearing my clothes?"

Temari cursed, removing one of her socks while Naruto dealt another hand, "No, it didn't. And besides, I'm wearing Kisame's, you and Temari happen to be similar in size, so she got all yours. Lucky for me Kisame has better taste."

Itachi was about to respond when Kisame walked past him and tossed their groceries at the base of a tree, "So," the shark man inquired, "whose winning?"

The Uchiha twitched.

Seeing Itachi's volatility rising, Naruto grinned; "you'll get your stuff back as soon as Temari loses"

It was Temari's turn to get annoyed, and her "hit me" was almost a growl. She _was_ losing, and she knew it. Her family had never been fans of blackjack, preferring go-fish.

Resigning himself to his fate, Itachi sat down next to Naruto and awaited the inevitable, and said inevitable came exactly 19 minutes and 47 seconds later.

Reduced to just her net shirt and undergarments, Temari glared, "If you think I'm taking off any more, you can go (bleep) with your (bleep) while (bleep)ing yourself"

Itachi calmly stood and collected his personal effects from the pile of clothing, then went to his tent, not forgetting his recently bought weeks supply of Pocky.

He left behind a re-dressing Temari (who was annoyed and mildly embarrassed), Kisame (who was amused but felt slightly cheated), Kyuubi inside Seirei Kirite (Who felt much the same way as Kisame), and Naruto (who really had no idea what he was feeling).

This clash of moods caused an odd nervous tension for a few minutes, until Naruto got bored and started to gather sticks for a fire. Soon, Temari and Kisame both started silently helping, and the food for supper was soon sizzling away.

Unfortunately, Kisame always felt the need to have the last word, and after almost 20 minutes of silence he spoke up, "But you know, Temari-san, you really shouldn't start things you're not willing to finish."

His blue face split into another grin as a thrown kunai nicked his ear.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Late that night, while everyone slept, Itachi suddenly sat up in his bag and turned to his partner, "Ne, Kisame. Why do you think god made the platypus?"

"uh……wha?" Kisame blinked sleepily, "dammit Itachi, go to sleep!"

/-/-/-/-/-/-4 Days Later - Day Of The Execution/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Sakura again stood in front of that door, that horrible door. It was 11:25, and Sasuke's charred body would fall to the ground at exactly 12:01. She wasn't planning on being there to watch, but had been given the right to be the one to give him his last meal.

She was not alone, but was accompanied by two full squads of ANBU, who would remain outside the door, in case an escape attempt was made.

The door slid silently open and Sakura slowly stepped into the room carrying a tray of food. For his final meal, Sasuke had asked for nothing more than a bowl of chicken fried rice and a glass of water.

She carefully closed the door behind her and set the tray on the ground. Her hand reached up and undid each of the five straps holding the Uchiha to the wall, and he almost collapsed on her as the final restraint was removed.

After a moment, he regained his composure and managed to sit on the ground while Sakura undid his mask and untied the string holding his fingers together. They were almost completely silent as Sakura carefully placed the food in front of him and he started to eat.

It tore at her how weak he looked, he had lost a lot of weight, making his cheekbones more defined, and his arms had lost the muscular look she had liked so much. She felt shallow as these thoughts passed through her mind, but the gaunt form before her was nothing like the confident but silent boy she had developed a crush on all those years ago.

He looked up at her, and Sakura noticed that his hair was unkempt had grown longer, making him look more wild. When he spoke, his voice was scratchy and harsh, "Thank you for this, Sakura"

She had promised herself she wouldn't cry again, yet the tears started to flow, "Don't thank me, Sasuke-kun. Not now."

The Uchiha looked her over carefully, "I have a request, one final thing I would like you to do for me"

She smiled and wiped the tears from her eyes, "You know I'd do anything for you, Sasuke-kun"

He looked up at the roof his cell; "I want you to be there, at noon today. I want you to promise that, no matter what, you won't look away."

Sakura didn't know what to say, but she couldn't refuse him, so she nodded mutely.

"Good," he smiled, and then went back to silently eating.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Tsunade stood, overlooking the crowd. It did indeed look as if most of the population of Konoha had shown up, and the training field they were using was almost filled.

It was 11: 53.

In just seconds, the prisoner would make his appearance.

Suddenly, the ground shook, and as Tsunade's eyes widened, spouts of flame could be seen shooting upward all over the village.

A jounin dropped down in front of her, "No need to be alarmed, Tsuande-sama. It appears that your guess was correct, a group of nins were discovered in the village less than 8 minutes ago, but have been already disposed of. It appears they planned to use the distraction of the explosives to surprise and overpower Sasuke's guards. The leader is still alive, what shall we do with him?"

The Hokage wiped sweat from her forehead, "We can delay for a minute or two, bring him here"

She then turned to calm the crowd.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

The Dark Avenger felt a defeat bitterer than any he had experienced before. After succeeding in so many ways, they had been caught at the last minute. His few remaining supporters were dead, and he was being dragged before the Hokage.

The jounin holding him pulled him through the masses of people, and out into the open. He was shoved forward, and Tsunade regarded him critically.

"So," she said, "you're the one who planned all this. The Dark Avenger shows himself at last. Did you chose the name 'Dark Avenger', or was it something the newspaper's gave you? Well, Kabuto?"

The silver haired medic nin spat at the Hokage's feet, "I have nothing to say to you."

Tsunade shrugged, "Okay then, I'll deal with you as soon as we're done with Sasuke."

Kabuto gnashed his teeth at his own helplessness, but could do nothing as the Jounin dragged him off to one side.

Tsunade raised an arm and the masses parted. At the other end of the field was the prisoner, his hands and feet chained, accompanied by Shizune and three ANBU.

Shizune stepped forward and, steadying herself, took a deep breath, and called out "DEAD MAN WALKING!"

The grim procession walked slowly forwards, the Uchiha paying no attention to the hoards of people on either side of him. He arrived at his destination, a cleared part of the field where Tsunade herself stood.

He was walked over to a thick log and was chained to it, his ANBU guards making sure he was secure. Tsunade walked up to him, "Any last words?"

A set of dark eyes rose to look at her, "Actaully, I'd like a stick of Pocky"

Tsunade blinked, "Um….okay," she turned around, "anyone have a box of Pocky?"

A man in the crowd raised his arm, "I do! Here!" he threw it forward and Shizune rushed to catch it, before running back to pass it to Tsunade.

The Hokage pulled out a stick and put it in the prisoner's mouth, "good?"

He nodded, so Tsunade gestured, and the people moved back, the guard ANBU got out of the way, and Shizune jogged back a bit. Tsunade had decided to perform the execution herself, and once everyone was clear of the blast area, she started her little speech,

"You, Uchiha Sasuke, have been found, beyond a shadow of a doubt, to be guilty of High Treason against Konoha. The punishment for this crime is death, and that punishment shall now be inflicted." Tsunade flashed through hand seals, "Goukakyuu No Jutsu!"

She inhaled and breathed out a huge stream of flame that consumed the wooden log as well as the figure chained to it. She continued the technique for a full half minute.

Unnoticed in the masses of people, Haruno Sakura was crying, her tears reflecting the light as she forced herself to watch.

Kabuto fought futilely against those holding as he watched the last of Orochimaru's legacy go up in smoke.

Hatake Kakashi was also watching closely, but for a different reason. Something about this whole thing felt odd.

Tsunade completed the jutsu, and looked at her handy work. The still burning body was on the ground, as the flames had melted the chains and incinerated the log. She motioned for the three ANBU and Shizune to join her as she approached the corpse. She had to personally confirm the Uchiha was indeed dead.

Kakashi knew something was wrong. All his instincts screamed at him, something was setting him off, something he was feeling and should be remembering. He reached to pull up his forehead protector.

Tsunade reached down to check the Uchiha's pulse, when three objects came hurling from the sky, almost hitting the guard ANBU, who neatly side stepped. She turned to back look just in time to see the ANBU reach and grab the handles of the two swords and battle fan imbedded in the ground.

Kakashi's eyes widened in horror at what his Sharingan revealed, but he knew even as he started to yell a warning that he was to late.

One of the 'ANBU' vaulted over the handle of his sword to deliver a sharp kick to the side of Shizune's head, and Naruto, Temari and Kisame tore off their ANBU masks and turned outward, forming a circle around Tsunade and the body.

Tsunade suddenly felt her wrist in an iron grip, and looked down in horror to see the 'corpse' holding onto her, continuing to burn as it rose up and spoke, "That……HURT!"

As the not so dead body's eyes met hers, Tsunade only managed one word,

"…mangekyou…."

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Author's Notes: Don't you love cliffhangers?

Goukakyuu No Jutsu - Grand Fireball Technique

Next Chapter: Some of this insanity explained through the wonder of flashbacks


	20. Countdown: Part 1

From the Diary of Uchiha Itachi 

Entry #465

_There are 69 Hours until the Execution_

_Contrary to what many would claim, I feel a full range of emotions. Anger, Joy, Sadness, Envy, Regret, Lust; all these are familiar to me. Yet in my current situation, I find myself incapable of describing how I feel. Perhaps the only way to help you understand is to describe my position in as simple terms as I can, allowing you to draw your own conclusions._

_I am currently in a place I don't want to be, with 3 other people who don't want to be here either. Everyone around us is a potential enemy, and as we are in the middle of a large village, there are a great many potential enemies._

I have led us here to rescue someone who will most assuredly try to kill me and/or my companions at least once or twice during the course of the rescue, and this is while simultaneously fighting off an army of shinobi who will be very VERY pissed off at us.

_People have been calling me crazy for years; only here and now do I start to consider whether they might have a point._

_/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-_

Entry #466

Only 44 hours left 

_I find that as the rescue attempt draws nearer, I feel my need to write down my thoughts grow even stronger, and I am not foolish enough to delusion myself as to the reason. It is entirely possible that, in the course of this mission, I will die. If that happens, I, oddly enough, feel the needleave at least some piece of myself behind, so without further ado, I give you my philosophy for life._

_The thing I find most perplexing about the human race is their obsession with 'why?'. It has generally been my observation that often people pay more attention to why something was done than what was actually done. _

_An excellent example of this theory being of course my claim to fame, the so-called 'Uchiha massacre.' Let us say, hypothetically, that I killed off my pathetic clan for noble reasons. It's not true, but that's why it's hypothetical. _

_Due to the advantage of our Sharingan, a member of the Uchiha clan used to kill an average of 12 people in a lifetime._

_Let us say, to account for the old and middle age shinobi, who have already killed a number of people, and the babies who killed none, that every person I killed would have themselves killed an average of 6 people had they lived._

_Exactly 47 people died by my hand that day (another 11 died due to 'friendly fire') and based on our math so far, in killing them, I have saved 235 lives. Expanding this notion, if one looks at the people I kill even today, most of them are the large stupid rude ones, the ones who tend towards irrational violence._

_One could view it as my doing the world a service, as there are probably hundreds more people who are only alive today because I removed those who would have killed them. If this had been my intention all along, to save lives, people would view me very differently than they do. _

_The truth is, I killed the foolish clan into which I was born to test them and myself. I found them lacking, so they died. I kill people today not because they are evil or crude or unjust, but because they annoy me. It just so happens that these traits are often found on the same people. _

_Looking at it statistically, I have been doing unintentional good and saving lives my whole life. If people judged my actions just on my results, I should get a medal._

_The thing is, people don't think about the unexpected benefits of the people whom I happen to kill dieing, they just look at why I did it. I don't really care if they judge me, but its astonishing, because that way of thinking implies that the result of an event is different because of the intentions that led up to it, an idea that is completely absurd._

_I need look no further than the justice system, where murder is different from manslaughter, as if killing someone by accident makes them less dead than if you meant to kill them._

_This magnificent self-delusion is to protect the people from what we all know on some level, killing is killing, and death is death. No matter the reason 'why'. A shinobi's brain cannot acknowledge this, because it would mean that the 3rd Hokage was the same type of person as Orochimaru was. In an interesting bit of irony, the snake and 3rd had probably killed about the same number of people when they died. _

_People have speculated endlessly about how people like me can live with ourselves, and the answer is simply thus: _

_Good and evil are subjective. Justified and un-justified are subjective. Wise and foolish are subjective._

_But strength is not. _

_Rather than make up thin excuses for my actions, immersing my self in the justification of 'why' this or that was done, I simply do what I want to. It is power that allows me to live this way, outside the borders of society, and it is for that reason that I seek more power._

_I don't expect anyone to completely understand these words I have written, I don't understand them fully myself. But even if whoever is reading this dismisses my ideas as crazy (which you inevitably will), I hope they are at least remembered._

_/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/_

Itachi sat back and re-read his most recent entry. It was unusual of him to be so blatant, even if he was just writing in a diary. Honesty did not come easily to a man who led a life of secrets.

It was true, he mused, what he had said in his second last sentence. He had sat down intending to try writing out his thoughts, but what had come out was something he didn't fully comprehend.

He closed the small black book with a snap, and slid it into his pocket before rising up from his bench and stretching his shoulders. He hadn't planned to writing for so long, and he had a sneaking suspicion that he was late.

He grabbed up what few belongings he had brought with him, and left the park, striding through the streets of Konoha with confidence.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Temari leaned against a lamppost, glancing around nervously. Itachi was 15 minutes late, and for a moment she wondered if someone hadn't recognized him.

This thought was dismissed as soon as it came, for even in the unlikely event of Itachi being recognized, he wouldn't have gone down without one hell of a fight, and everything had been peaceful all morning.

But it didn't stop her from worrying.

She was just about to leave without him, when she spotted him turning the corner two blocks away. A minute passed, and when Itachi was just passing her, Temari started walking with the throng of people in the streets, one more drop of water in a stream.

A few minutes later, they were bouncing through the forest.

It had been decided that Kisame and Naruto would stay behind in camp, due to Naruto being a familiar face in Konoha, and Kisame just looking funny. This meant that Temari and Itachi had spent most of a day gathering information with regards to Sasuke's execution. A mind-numbing activity, as most people knew the same things, so one could spend hours listening to the same rumors and learn almost nothing of value.

Needless to say, after a day of droning gossip, both shinobi were ready to relax.

Just a few feet from the edge of camp, Itachi stopped and suddenly grabbed Temari's arm, "Look"

Concealed in the grass was a wire, but it took Temari a moment to see it, "Naruto set traps?"

Itachi shook his head, "Kisame. Even I almost missed the wire, and Naruto isn't that good at being subtle"

Both carefully stepped over the wire and started towards the tents, only to feel something pull at their legs. Temari looked down, "Oh, crap"

A huge log came hurling out of the upper foliage, but Itachi and Temari watched in a kind of trance as it missed them by more than ten feet. They followed it with their eyes as it swung into the brush to the left of them, and heard the log hit something with a THUMP - click

The thump was normal, but the click had Itachi mildly concerned.

5 large bolts were fired into the air, the log obviously having set off another trap, but again, none of the bolts seemed to be aimed at where Itachi and Temari had set off the initial trip wire.

But as each of them landed, Itachi heard more of that mechanical click.

This went on for a whole 20 seconds more, and it seemed that every type of trap in existence had been wired up in a few hundred square feet of forest, each set to trigger the next ones.

The grand finale was when three kunai traps were set off, each kunai bearing an explosive tag. They were angled to they hit a tree trunk at three different spots, and one large explosion later, the tree toppled slowly towards Temari and Itachi, who stepped out of the way, allowing it to fall between them.

There was one more click

The falling tree had set off the initial trip wire that he had so carefully stepped over, and he found himself hanging upside down. Needless to say, Itachi was not amused.

Unfortunately, everyone else seemed to be.

Temari was at least trying to hold in her giggles, whereas Naruto and Kisame emerged from one of the tents laughing openly. Determined to retain his dignity, Itachi wordlessly cut himself down, landing on his feet with all the grace of a cat.

After slowly examining himself, un-wrinkling every wrinkle, and straightening every hair, he languidly stretched his shoulders, took a few deep breaths, and turned on 'the glare'.

There were no fear stimulus used for 'the glare', nor was his Sharingan activated. In fact, 'the glare' was so effective because it showed people just how frightening he could be, even without any of his ninjutsu and genjutsu.

When he spoke, his voice was positively glacial, "Now that you've alerted every shinobi within 10 miles as to our presence, I suggest you get ready to go. You will explain this _incident_ as we travel"

As the four of them bounced through the treetops, Naruto was jovially describing the morning's events.

/-/-/-/Flashback/-/-/-/

Kisame looked up at the sky.

Naruto looked up at the sky.

They were bored. Very bored.

Naruto suddenly sat up, "Know what's fun? Dominos are fun."

Kisame rolled his eyes, "Oh good, I'll pull some out of my ass and we can set them up"

"A tad sarcastic are we? Didn't you ever set up huge patterns of dominos to knock over?"

The shark man snorted, "Why would I want to do something like that?"

"Because its fun, seeing if you can line everything up perfectly"

"As I mentioned before, we don't exactly have any dominos"

Upon hearing these words, Naruto suddenly got an idea, "Ne, Kisame. Isn't it possible to set a trap to trigger another trap?"

A grin slowly split his Kisame's blue face, "Why yes…it's quite a common tactic, actually…"

/-/-/-/End Flashback/-/-/-/

Naruto smiled at the memory, "So, as I'm sure you've guessed, things just kind of snowballed at that point, and soon we were using up all our trap kits."

As they continued away from their old campsite, Itachi fought the urge to start yanking at his hair.

Back in said campsite, a group of leaf Chuunin dropped to the ground. The leader scratched his head in bewilderment; it looked as though every type of trap in existence had been set off in just a few hundred square feet of woodland. He groaned, it was going to take weeks to sort this out…

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Later that night, they sat around a campfire exchanging information. Itachi was the pseudo-leader of the mission, so he spoke first, "Okay, people, we have a few major problems. We need to get in while remaining undetected, stop my stupid brother from being fried, and get out with everyone still possessing all their body parts."

Naruto considered for a moment, "Getting in shouldn't be a problem, the village doesn't have the resources to guard all the walls, but the execution stage will be packed with ANBU, so we'll need to make our move before the execution itself"

Itachi wagged his finger, "Yes and no. I have an idea that's just crazy enough to work, but it doesn't account for the third problem of how to escape."

Everyone just looked at him expectantly, and Itachi realized he was supposed to elaborate, "Ok, it goes like this. The first thing we would need to do would be to nab four ANBU and take their uniforms, thus allowing us to enter into Sasuke's cell. Since any discrepancy in the number of people coming and going would be immediately noticed, I will take my brothers place"

Kisame held up a hand, "Wait a sec, here, Itachi. Even assuming we could pull off the deception, how is you being dead better than your brother being dead?"

Itachi had to yet again sigh at how his usually sharp minded partner could be so dense sometimes, "I'm not planning on dieing, Kisame. Since its death by fire jutsu, I can use Amaterasu to protect myself from the flames"

It was Temari's turn to raise her hand, "Correct me if I'm way off base here, but wouldn't you still then be surrounded by an army of Shinobi?"

"Well, yes. But since the Hokage will have to confirm the 'death' herself, I should be able to take her as a hostage"

Naruto started to move, but Itachi grabbed his wrist, "Ok, you don't need to raise your hand, just talk."

The boy lowered his arm sheepishly, "even assuming you manage to take Tsunade hostage, the stalemate wouldn't last for long, Konoha would quickly organize a strategic attack, and even you cant hold back a village"

Itachi scratched his head, "I know, that part is still a problem"

Naruto felt, for the first time in some while, a stirring at the back of his mind. "Give me a second guys, the bastard fox wants to chat"

Naruto allowed his mind to fall into the dreamscape "Whaddaya want?"

The Chibi-fox was wearing a smile, **"I've been doing a little eavesdropping on your conversation, and I know of a way to solve your problem, brat, or rather, the Uchiha's problem"**

Naruto's reacted the same way he did to anything the fox said, with skepticism, "How exactly could you help solve our problem?"

The chibi-fox's smile darkened to an evil grin(which it should be noted, looked very odd on his rather small body)

"**What would you say to completely immobilizing all of Konoha for 15 minutes?"**

"If I belived that was possible, which I don't, I would say: 'What would you want in return?'"

"**Nothing, brat, this is personal. I just want to see the look on the Hokage's face when the lot of you walk out from under her helpless nose"**

"Okay, I can see you wanting revenge, but I still don't understand how you could immobilize that many people…"

"**Okay," **the fox amended, **"Maybe not ALL of Konoha, but all the Shinobi at least. And also, note I didn't say I was the one who would do this. I just said there was a way to do it"**

Naruto instincts said something was wrong about this, "And who other than you would have even near enough power to pull off that kind of jutsu?"

/-/-/-/-/10 Minutes Later/-/-/-/-/

Temari shook her head, "That's insane"

Kisame looked like a child with a new toy, "I think it sounds fun"

Itachi tapped his finger on a kunai, "We would all be betting our lives on this, but I think it's our best shot"

Temari continued the head shaking motion, "You are all nuts!"

Naruto tallied everything up, "Okay, that's three 'yes' votes, and one 'your all crazy' vote. We're going for it"

The Uchiha glanced at the rising moon, "Are you going to meet 'him' tonight?"

Naruto shook his head, "Kyuubi said I should be well rested, apparently any mistake or oversight while talking to 'him' might get me eaten"

"Then I'm guessing," Kisame said, amused by the mental image of Naruto being gobbled up, "that we should probably get to bed soon"

Naruto nodded, "probably"

Temari rubbed her head, "Remind me again why I put up with you fruitcakes and your ideas?"

Naruto stroked his chin, "Our devilish good looks?"

Itachi tilted his head, "Our razor sharp wit?"

Kisame held up a hotdog he had been cooking over the fire, "Our masterful culinary ability?"

The sand girl resisted the urge to throttle something, "THE QUESTION WAS RHETORICAL!"

They all watched as she stomped out of camp, then Naruto started to get ready for bed, "Ne, Itachi, could you play something?"

The Uchiha silently nodded and took out his guitar, playing a soothing melody while Naruto drifted off and Kisame ate his hot dog.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

I was late that night when Temari crept back into camp, sliding into her sleeping bag as silently as possible. She was feeling proud of her sneakiness when she saw Naruto's bag shift and his head emerge.

"That was a long walk," He remarked dryly

"I had to blow off some steam. It bothers me when you don't take my concerns seriously!"

"We're all concerned, but Itachi was right, there's no other options. We either have to try using Kyuubi's idea or let Sasuke die, and the latter is not an option. I owe Itachi at least that much."

"But still…"

"Then how about you come with me tomorrow? Then you can judge for yourself whether this will work."

If anything, Temari looked even more disturbed, "You want me to go with you…"

"Yeah, why not?"

There were a million reasons why not, but Temari knew that most of them were irrational. The fundamental idea disturbed her, but she had never been one to back off.

"Fine then," she said resolutely, "I will."

/-/-/-/-/Next Morning – 23 Hours Until The Execution/-/-/-/-/

Naruto took a deep breath and slammed his sword into a cliff wall, watching as it sunk in, forming a black portal.

He looked at Temari, "Ready?"

She nodded shakily, and they walked in together.

Temari had the momentary sensation of being immersed in cold water, but then it was gone, and she found herself quite dry, and in total darkness. The only thing she could perceive was Naruto, an that was only do to his breathing, which she realized annoyedly, was much calmer than her own.

Naruto started to move, as if guided by some other sense, and she followed silently.

They walked for what could have been 5 minutes or 5 hours, Temari found her sense of time was skewed. The first sign they had reached their destination was that Naruto stopped moving, but she soon felt another presence, one far more terrifying.

Naruto bowed low, and broke the silence for the first time since they passed through the black portal, "I am Fushichou Naruto, and have come to seek aid. I humbly ask the name of the one who stands before me"

Temari heard what seemed to her to be the rustle of a chain, and suddenly noticed that there was now a small bit of light coming from somewhere, and she fought as all her instincts told her to flee.

Towering above them stood a canine form, its glowing red eyes being the source of light. It's body appeared to be made of nothing more than dark blue smoke, but it was completely bound by chains, preventing the great beast from moving much in any direction.

There were 8 pegs imbedded in the ground surrounding the creature, and 5 of them had chains attached, while three more chains hung lose, obviously having once been attached to the three other pegs.

The two humans studied the demon, as it also studied them. When it finally spoke, its voice was deep and echoing

"**Never have I met a human who was so polite, and you are brave to enter a place like this, so let it be known that the greater demon Fenrir will hear your request."**

**/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/**

Author's Notes:

Well, there's good news and bad news.

Bad news is this chapter has been split up into two parts; good news is the second part will be done shortly.

For those of you who don't remember, the black portal is the Kyuubi's dimensional gate jutsu, last used in chapter 12.

Next Chapter: The Nukenins put their plan into effect, and we see more of Fenrir


	21. Countdown: Part 2

Authors Notes 

A bit of a mythology lesson:

Fenrir (or Fenris) is a monster (more specifically, a blue wolf) from Norse legend and is the son of the trickster god Loki. Bellow is a short excerpt from his legend, taken from pantheon dot org, an excellent site for anything mythology related.

_When he was still a pup they had nothing to fear, but when the gods saw one day how he had grown, they decided to render him harmless. However, none of the gods had enough courage to face the gigantic wolf. Instead, they tried to trick him. They said the wolf was weak and could never break free when he was chained. Fenrir accepted the challenge and let the gods chain him. Unfortunately, he was so immensely strong that he managed to break the strongest fetters as if they were cobwebs. _

_After that, the gods saw only one alternative left: a magic chain. They ordered the dwarves to make something so strong that it could hold the wolf. The result was a soft, thin ribbon: Gleipnir. It was incredibly strong, despite what its size and appearance might suggest. The ribbon was fashioned of six strange elements: the footstep of a cat; the roots of a mountain; a woman's beard; the breath of fishes; the sinews of a bear; and a bird's spittle._

I'm obviously straying from the legend a great deal for my story, as will be seen in this chapter, but I wanted everyone to know the background.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Naruto slowly raised his eyes to meet the restrained demon's gaze, "I am in need of a binding jutsu large enough to restrain a full army, and was told the only place I would find one capable of such a feat was here"

The boy was careful to keep his voice polite and neutral, as from the looks of things; he suspected binding jutsus might be a bit of a sore point with this particular monster.

"Ahhh… one could say I have a certain affinity for sealing and binding techniques. I have had, after all, over 2000 years in which study the most powerful of them."

"2000 _YEARS!_" Naruto and Temari yelled

"**Yes indeed, little ones, I was defeated exactly 2378 years ago, my physical body destroyed, and my spirit sealed in this pocket dimension. The jutsu was so powerful; eight people gave their lives to imprison me, each one of them using their very essence to form the chains and attach them to my soul. No sealing technique since could begin to compare, but it was lost sometime around 1200 years ago."**

Temari was finding her fear transforming into fascination, and having almost forgotten she was there, Naruto jumped when she spoke, "But why would they go to so much trouble to seal you? Of all the demons I've met, you're by far the nicest."

The great wolf laughed, his semi-solid form straining at his bonds as he shook with amusement, **"Centuries of imprisonment tend to change one's outlook on life. Before I was sealed, I was no different than the Nine-tailed whelp, who was the one who sent you here if I'm not mistaken. I haven't seen him in 400 years, but his smell is still the same."**

Temari was oddly at ease with the demon, despite the fact that he was older than recorded history. Naruto was for anyone who could call the Kyuubi a whelp and get away with it, so he liked Fenrir too.

"It's true," Naruto said, "that the Kyuubi sent me here, but he gave no indication of what's involved with getting your aid, what I would need to do or what your help would cost me."

"**Well," **the demon replied, **"the first part is easy. I can handle most of the work, but you need to weaken space so I can manifest beyond my pocket dimension. As for what my help costs, it is its own reward, as one of my chains will break"**

This, of course, drew Naruto's attention to said chains, 3 of which hung loose from Fenrir's body while the other 5 were still attached to the pegs in the ground, "How could I break something you can't?"

Fenrir growled, **"The seal that holds me was cleverly designed. It was decided by the council of eight that there might come a day when my help would be needed, so to account for this, every time I help a human who requires it, one of my chains will break. Think of me as a prisoner whose sentence is reduced for doing community service"**

"Oh, so all I need to do is open a gate when the time comes?"

"**Not so fast, little man, I haven't actually agreed to anything yet. Nothing annoys me more than rudeness, and you have done something _very_ rude."**

The boy picked his brain furiously for what it could be, then almost smacked himself in the head. He grabbed Temari's arm and pulled her down into a bow with him, "I have been remiss, great one. I am delighted to introduce my companion, Sabaku no Temari"

"**Much better. I was worried for a second. I once had a nut job bring a girl here who he was going to use as a virgin sacrifice. He seemed perfectly normal until he started yelling about how he would spill blood to appease the ravenous hunger of the demon, in other words, me. I squashed him, which counted as helping the girl, so I broke a chain and ridded the world of an ass."**

"You thought I was planning to use Temari as a sacrifice!"

"**Nah, it just makes a good story. You didn't strike me as the type of human who would waste such a cute girl"**

Temari blushed at the compliment. Fenrir was rather charming for a gigantic blue wolf made of smoke.

"**Speaking of which, I was hoping that you might be able to do _me _a little favor, Temari-san"**

Naruto was being ignored, and was having a minor sulking moment, but Temari was flattered, "What can I do to help?"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Itachi and Kisame stared at the black portal.

"If you had to guess, Itachi, how long would you say they've been in there"

"About an hour and a half so far"

"So what do you feel like doing while we wait, then?"

"I dono…maybe we could play I spy or something"

Kisame looked sideways at his partner, "I Spy?"

"Yeah, the game. You know, where you say 'I spy with my little eye something that is' and a color, then the other person has to try and figure out what the thing is"

"I know how to play, but why off all things would you think of that? Why not train or something?"

Itachi shrugged, "Well, I spy just struck me as the kind of thing people would do for long periods of time"

"………………..Sometimes, I worry about you, Itachi"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

At the precise moment, Fenrir was a very happy wolf demon.

"**Yeah…right there……wait, a little higher"**

Temari giggled and climbed a bit higher on his neck. Though looking like nothing more than a blue haze, the demon was quite solid, and when climbed on his body felt rather like a huge sponge. She wasn't sure how long she'd been rubbing the demons shoulders, but it was fun.

"**Oooh…yes, scratch the ears…"**

Far below, Naruto was training, using the demons interlocking network of chains like a jungle gym, vaulting from one to the next. He swung around Fenrir's back leg on one of the loose chains and let go, flying through the air before landing and balancing calmly on the demons back, "We really need to get going soon"

Temari looked up from her ear rubbing, "Do we have to?"

"Yes"

"**Sadly, your friend is correct. You have little time left, but I shall be there when my aid is needed."**

Temari slid off the wolf's neck and jumped from his back down to the ground. She had discovered an odd sensation of power in rubbing the demons neck, to feel a being of such power react to her every move. But Naruto was right; it was time to go.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

"Hmm…I spy with my little eye, something that is red!"

Kisame's eyes roamed the area carefully; there weren't many things that were red.

"Ha! The clouds on my Akatsuki cloak!"

Itachi narrowed his eyes, "Yes…that's right"

The Uchiha wasn't currently wearing his cloak, and had figured Kisame wouldn't be smart enough to look at himself. It was now the Shark man's turn.

"I spy with my little eye, something that is……Naruto?"

The aforementioned boy stepped out of the portal, followed just seconds after by an unusually happy looking Temari.

Itachi glared, "Where in the nine layers of hell have you two been?"

"Giving a greater demon a massage, but that's beside the point. He agreed to help us, all Naruto needs to do is perform some jutsu that will weaken space enough for Fenrir to manifest from his prison dimension."

While Temari was talking excitedly, the gate was closing and Seirei Kirite emerging. Naruto grabbed the handle of his sword and immediately felt the Kyuubi's discontent. It was just now that it occurred to the boy that the portal had been open this whole time, and therefore Kyuubi had been holding it open the whole time.

Naruto resolved to be nice to the fox for a while.

"So then, we ready to go kick some ass?" Kisame asked

Naruto nodded, "Yeah, we need to move out soon, since security will be insane the last few hours, we need to perform the switch ASAP"

/-/-/-/-/16 Hours Until the Execution/-/-/-/-/

Naruto carefully tried on the ANBU uniform, noting how it stretched to fit his body. He locked the various pieces of armor into place and finally examined the mask. His looked to have been based on a bird of some variety, as uniforms had been distributed based on size.

With Naruto in the hotel room was Itachi, tired from using a powerful genjutsu on a 4 man ANBU team, and Kisame, who was currently amusing himself by arranging the unconscious members of said team into compromising positions on the bed.

Itachi was getting suited up next to Naruto, and Temari was changing in the bathroom. Their plan had gone almost flawlessly so far, they had spotted the ANBU who were assigned to give Sasuke his meals, and once the team split up and each headed home, Itachi, one by one, caught them in a powerful genjutsu and drugged them with enough sedative to keep them asleep for 3 days.

It was a tad bit of hassle, but Naruto had requested there be as little killing as possible. It had been brought up that the ANBU might be missed at home, but Itachi had assured the rest of them it wasn't uncommon for an ANBU to be gone for days at a time without warning.

Naruto clamped his final armguard into place, but burst out laughing as he turned around. All the ANBU had been left in their underwear, but Kisame had successfully placed them on top of and around each other so none of it was visible, and so anyone walking into the room would immediately make incorrect and rather naughty assumptions.

Itachi just rolled his eyes and finished strapping his own armor on as Naruto and Kisame admired the shark man's work.

A few minutes later, Kisame too was in uniform, and Naruto and Itachi were helping him make sure all his skin was covered up, since it really wouldn't do for Kisame to be recognized due to his rather odd shade of skin.

Only when Itachi pulled the hood up over the back of Kisame's head, finishing the disguise, did all three shinobi realize Temari hadn't left the bathroom yet.

Naruto walked over and knocked, "what are you doing in there? We have to go"

The doorknob turned slowly, and the bathroom door swung open equally slowly. When Temari finally did step hesitantly in to the main room, reactions were varied.

Itachi merely arched and eyebrow, Kisame whistled, and Naruto turned a color usually reserved for tomatoes.

All the ANBU they had captured were men, but the uniforms were stretchy, so no one had predicted a problem. The uniform she had chosen did in fact fit Temari, and showed of her curves rather nicely. A bit too nicely in her opinion.

"Do I really have to wear this?"

Naruto just stared blankly at her, and Kisame nodded with a slightly lecherous grin, so she looked to Itachi, who considered for a moment.

"I really think that one would fit you the best, Temari-san. You are the smallest; so I doubt any of us could even fit into that uniform"

"But…I'm really not comfortable…"

Naruto looked up, face blazing; "You look…fine"

Naruto's approval helped, and Temari decided that she could put up with the constricting uniform, if just for the sake of the Uchiha brat. This resolve became harder to maintain as she started to strap her armor on, as she could _feel _eyes on her. She looked back up and they were all still staring at her.

"Go do something else and let a girl get dressed!" she snapped, and they all (including Itachi) jumped and started to get ready for the exchange.

/-/-/-/-/-/12 Hours Until the Execution/-/-/-/-/-/

The four Nukenin slid their earpieces into place and walked perfectly in step up to the Jounin leader whose team was on guard duty.

It had been decided that being the only one of them to have ever been leaf ANBU, Itachi would do the talking. "We're here for the scheduled prisoner checkup"

Itachi had explained the odd law that Konoha could not execute anyone who was sick, so exactly 12 hours before the execution, he would get a checkup. According the schedule Itachi had taken off the man whose armor he wore, the checkup was to be done by Shizune, so the Nukenin had shown up 20 minutes before Shizune was set to arrive and would have to bluff their way through.

The guard looked up boredly, "Shizune-sama is to perform that task"

Itachi used his best 'ANBU' voice, cool and in control, with just a hint of threat. "The Hokage has ordered us to perform this task so as to relieve Shizune-sama of part of her heavy workload."

The guard looked at Itachi carefully, then shrugged, "Okay then, please pass through the chakra sensor"

Itachi had told them about this, it was a simple ring 10 feet high, but anyone molding any chakra at all would set off an alarm as they passed through it. The device would detect any bunshins among their group or even the weakest of genjutsu. There were very few chakra sensors, and their manufacture was a mystery, so they were only used for the highest security.

Once they had all passed through, the jounin nodded, "You people can go do your thing, but Shizune-sama will probably redo it anyway"

The first obstacle overcome, all four of them fought the urge to break into a run as they walked closer and closer to where Sasuke was being kept. Their arrival was actually rather anticlimactic, as it was just a regular door, and when opened up was just a regular cell. Except for its restrained occupant.

Sasuke blinked and looked up sleepily as four figures surrounded him. He figured it was just a regular visit until one of them leaned close his ear, "Listen up, bastard, we can get you out of here, but you'll need to stay cool"

Recognizing the voice as Naruto's, but not really able to respond, Sasuke just hung limply in a daze as he quickly found himself quickly unbound and on the floor. During this time, Itachi had been quickly undressing, so when Sasuke did come to his senses, the first thing he consciously recognized was his brother in nothing but underwear.

Not really having the energy for a full-blown angsty speech, Sasuke settled for a glare, "What are _YOU _doing here?"

Itachi sighed, "Saving your ungrateful ass. Now get up and get undressed or I'll do it for you."

Sasuke again sat in a semi-stunned state, and he found his body obeying and starting to undress even though his mind was otherwise occupied.

Itachi had come to save him? Sasuke had friends from the academy, teachers who cared about him, loyal subjects from the sound, and _Itachi _was the one to come save him? Not only that, from the looks of things, Itachi was going to risk himself. This reality did not compute with the mental image of Itachi that Sasuke held in his mind.

Sasuke was soon also in his underwear, and Naruto helped him put on the ANBU uniform his brother had been wearing while Itachi quickly threw on Sasuke's clothes and Kisame started to strap the older Uchiha into place against the wall.

Within minutes, the exchange was complete, and almost no one would ever be able to tell the difference between the two brothers. Sasuke had grown to look more like his brother as time passed, growing taller and his face thinning out.

Naruto suddenly noticed a problem, and before anyone had time to react, he whipped a Kunai out of his holster and pulled Itachi's hair out of its usual ponytail, and then with one quick swipe, he cut it to look like Sasuke's midlength mop, grabbing the excess hair and shoving it into his pocket.

Itachi glared at him, but they both knew it needed to be done.

Naruto wanted to get Sasuke out of there before he came to his senses and tried to kill the now mostly helpless Itachi, so he grabbed him by the arm and dragged him out of the room, Temari and Kisame following quickly after.

Once they were outside, Naruto again whispered into Sasuke's ear, "Listen, we are a group of ANBU who have just finished inspecting the health of Uchiha Sasuke, and we found him to be in perfect health, got it?"

Sasuke nodded slowly, and all four of them strode purposefully back out of the prison until they again met the guard. Naruto stepped foreword this time, "Everything is in order, and there are no complications"

The jounin shrugged again, "I figured as much"

With that, the nukenin and ex-prisoner vanished, bouncing from building to building. Naruto was leading them to a their hotel, where they picked up their weapons before moving to another hotel, far away from where they had left the sleeping ANBU.

Only when they were again safely within the boundaries of a private room did Naruto gesture for everyone to remove their masks, and Sasuke spent the first few minutes just examining each face, as he knew all of them.

Kisame was to be expected based on Itachi's presence, and Naruto he had recognized based on voice, but what Gaara's sister was doing here the Uchiha couldn't discern.

He just went on looking for a while, and the other three let him. When Sasuke finally did speak, his voice was low and carefully controlled, "I would like it if someone would tell me what's going on here"

Naruto sighed, "Very long story, which you will hear eventually. Right now, we need to sleep, because we have a major mission tomorrow and unlike you have been busy working all day. If you can't sleep, there should be some reading material in your left pocket."

With that, Naruto leaned his sword against the wall and flopped down on his bed, without even bothering to take off his shoes.

"Ahhhhh…"

Kisame and Temari took a bit more time but were soon also crawling into their first soft beds in a long while.

Sasuke sat in one of corner chairs and observed everyone in their attempts to sleep, "How do you know I won't escape?"

Naruto opened one eye, "Trust me, you won't"

Sitting silently for half an hour, Sasuke soon heard snoring and moving very slowly, he worked his way over to the window. When he was just about to jump out, he felt a hand on his shoulder, "I told you, stupid bastard, don't even bother"

Sasuke hadn't heard the fox boy move. Naruto led Sasuke by the shoulder back to his chair and was soon again snoring happily. Leaving Sasuke to sit and do what Sasuke did best, sulk.

After another 20 minutes of moping the Uchiha grudgingly reached into his pocket and pulled out what Naruto had called 'reading material.' It looked like a normal leather-bound notebook, and Sasuke was curious as he opened it and read the inside of the cover.

"_The Personal Diary of Uchiha Ryouske Itachi"_

Oddly, his first thought was that he hadn't known Itachi had a middle name. It was the kind of thing one expected to know about ones brother. It was also the kind of thing one expected to know about a person they had devoted their lives to killing, so Sasuke felt he had failed doubly.

Once this rather random thought process worked its way through his mind, he pondered for a moment, and turned to the first page. He really had nothing better to do, and as far as Sasuke was concerned, anything he learned about Itachi would be to his advantage, so he started to read.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Naruto lay in bed, feigning sleep. He could hear Temari snoring lightly not 10 feet away, and let his minder wander through thoughts of the sand girl.

Between the arrival of Kisame and Itachi the rushing that had followed the discovery of Sasuke's capture, he realized that he and Temari really hadn't had any time together. In fact, the last time he and Temari had a decent conversation without one of the Akatsuki around had been the 'incident' on the rooftop, almost three weeks ago.

This bothered him, and on reflecting, he discovered that he had become oddly adapted to Temari's presence. He immersed himself in memories, remembering the times she smiled, the times she glared, and the times she threatened him with bodily harm.

He remembered the threats fondly, because it was something of a joke between them, seeing as how Temari had as much chance of beating Naruto and Seirei Kirite as Neji had of winning the 'Mr. Personality' contest.

But of everything, Naruto liked it best when she smiled. It was a rare occurrence, but that just made it all the more treasured. He lost himself in the warmth of memory, but suddenly snapped out of it as he opened his eyes with a start. It was at that precise and exact moment that Naruto realized he had a major crush on Temari of the Sand.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

The next morning's dawn found Sasuke still in that same position, reading the final diary entry. In 5 hours he had sifted through all his brothers various experiences and thoughts, and as his eyes washed over the final passage, he felt a great weight settle on him.

If Sasuke took a step back from his prejudice and hate, it frightened him how much sense Itachi made. He had started reading in hopes of learning something about his enigma of an older brother, and now he wished he knew less.

Sasuke had demonized his brother over a span of many years, an image Itachi had done nothing to dispute, but now as he sat in a hotel room surrounded by soon to be waking nukenins, Uchiha Sasuke faced the greatest opponent of his life.

He had come face to face with his brother's humanity.

Sasuke was well aware that he was not one who could lecture about morality, so acknowledging that his brother was human put them on the same level, and though he still hated Itachi fervently, he found his once fanatical obsession fading with the morning's dew.

Naruto started to shift and slowly opened his eyes, "Bleh…it feels like I just got to sleep…what time is it?"

Sasuke looked out the window, "about 9AM"

"Okay then, time to get out of bed…how was your night, by the way?"

"I don't really know…I'll just say it was interesting and leave it at that."

Naruto grinned, "We kinda need your help today, are you up for it?"

The Uchiha snorted, "I am, at the very least, one who pays his debts. Besides, it wouldn't count for anything if Itachi dies because I was too weak to protect myself. That would contradict the point of killing him."

Naruto grinned wider, "alrighty then, the plan goes like this"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/35 Minutes Before the Execution/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Itachi looked up wearily as the pink haired girl walked slowly into his cell carrying a tray of food. He knew from Naruto's stories that this could be no one but Sakura, the girl with the obsessive crush on his brother.

He watched passively as she undid his bindings and set some food before him, and he silently started to eat. Itachi had to say he was annoyed at his brother, because although he liked fried rice as much as the next person, asking for it for a final meal was just lame.

And water? WATER?

If Itachi had to pick a final meal, he would ask for a 30 oz steak marinated in honey taken from the hive at the top of a redwood and gathered by 3 virgins on the night of a full moon. As a side dish, he would demand truffles from Grass country mixed with Escargot from Water Country. Just to be excessive, he would top it all off by demanding red wine aged for at least 150 years.

But his brother had asked for fried rice and water.

It was only after a minute or two of mental grumbling did Itachi pay much attention to his pink haired guest, and he felt a tug on what was left of his heartstrings. Deciding to at least be polite, he looked up at her, "Thank you for this, Sakura"

The reaction he got was rather the opposite from what he expected. She started to cry.

"Don't thank me, Sasuke-kun. Not now."

It looked to Itachi like this girl was even more shaken up than expected at the thought of Sasuke's execution, so the older Uchiha decided she should see the escape.

"I have a request, one final thing I would like you to do for me"

She smiled and wiped the tears from her eyes, "You know I'd do anything for you, Sasuke-kun"

He looked up at the roof his cell; "I want you to be there, at noon today. I want you to promise that, no matter what, you won't look away."

Sakura didn't know what to say, but she couldn't refuse him, so she nodded mutely.

Itachi wasn't sure what came over him at that moment, but somehow the thought of the joy seeing Sasuke's escape would bring the girl in front of him brought a small but rare smile to Itachi's face.

He admonished himself as he went back to eating, it word of this ever got out; someone might mistake him for a good person.

/-/-/-/-/-/7 Minutes Before the Execution/-/-/-/-/-/

Naruto, Kisame, Temari and Shizune stood surrounding Itachi, waiting for the signal to proceed. His three 'guards' all again in full ANBU uniform.

In the trees at the edge of the training field where the execution was to take place, Sasuke sat hidden cradling three oversized weapons in his arms, cursing whoever had decided that when it came to weapons, bigger was better.

They all felt the explosions rock the village, but no one left their posts, and just minutes later Shizune saw the signal and started to lead the Nukenins through the masses of people.

As they walked, Naruto sub vocalized into his communicator, speaking just loud enough for the microphone to pick up on _"Ne, Temari, I wanted to apologize for something"_

"_Is this really the time?"_

"_Yeah, I need to say this now………I know things have been awkward between us for a while, since the 'incident' on the rooftop, and I'm not really good at this kind of thing…"_

Naruto paused and hesitated for a moment

"_But I want to say I'm sorry for being so distant and that I really do like you a lot"_

It was a good thing Temari was wearing the mask, because she could feel her face heating up, _"I like you too Naruto……but I really think we should talk about this later"_

"_Yeah…later" _Naruto agreed, feeling slightly drained. It had taken a lot of courage to say that, far more than he had expected.

At this moment, it should be noted that both Naruto and Temari had forgotten one small fact, that since they were talking over their communicators, Kisame could still hear their every word.

The Shark man wore an evil grin under his mask. If they survived this, he would have enough ammunition to make fun of those two for the next 10 years.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Itachi stood calmly chewing his stick of Pocky as the huge fireball was bearing down on him. At the last moment, he activated his Mangekyou Sharingan and surrounded his body with the black flames of Ameterasu.

His black flames protected him from the worst of the blast, but keeling over as the fire jutsu finally ended was one of the most painful moments Itachi had ever experienced.

He forced himself to lie calmly and quietly as the Hokage approached, then when she was about to check his pulse, Itachi felt three impacts in the ground around him.

_Right on time, foolish little brother, _he thought amusedly. He heard the commotion that was most assuredly Naruto, Kisame and Temari revealing themselves, and grabbed the Hokage's wrist while he opened his eyes and pulled himself up.

"That……HURT!" he growled.

Tsunade could only manage a single utterance as her eyes met Itachi's:

"…mangekyou…"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Author's Notes 2: Well, 2 chapters later and we're finally back where we started.

Ameterasu is one of Itachi's two Mangekyou jutsu (the other being Tsukiyomi) and it creates powerful black flames that don't burn the user.

Next Chapter: Fenrir struts his stuff, some verbal spars between siblings, and actual plot advancement

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	22. Feel The Rhythm

Itachi knew he had only a few fractions of a second before Tsunade came to her senses and tore him in half like wet tissue paper, but a few fractions of a second was far more than he needed.

Just as the clarity was starting to come back into the Hokage's eyes, Itachi delivered a sharp chop to her neck and she crumpled.

In that moment, it was as if time stopped completely as the multitude of spectators tried to figure out what was going on and the various shinobi were frozen by Itachi so casually holding the unconscious Hokage, daring anyone to make an aggressive move.

Not wasting time, Temari and Kisame started different sets of hand seals while Naruto let his mind slide into semi-awareness, and granted the Kyuubi partial control.

It was an odd feeling to voluntarily give up his body, because he was still aware, but he perceived everything as if through a haze and was watching his own body do things he wasn't telling it to do. Had the situation been less serious, he would have found the sensation amusing.

Allowing himself to revel in having an actual body, even for just a few minutes, the Kyuubi grinned to himself and spoke in a darker version of Naruto's voice, **"I have to do 236 hand seals, and I need my ass covered, so no screw up's"**

Naruto's body started to move, and for just a second or two, all three were forming seals.

Temari was the first to finish her jutsu, and as soon as she started to whip open her fan Naruto and Kisame took steps back, still forming seals, to get out of the line of fire "_Kaze __Nenshou no Justu!_"

As had been planned, she aimed intentionally high, so the superheated blast of air only skimmed the crowd, knocking a few people over and singing a few hairs. It was, however, plenty to send the citizens into a panic.

It took only moments for chaos to break out, and in this time Kisame finished his seals, "_Kirigakure no Jutsu_"

The group formed a tighter circle as the mist rolled in, and the ball was in the opponent's court. As he had a tendency to do, Itachi immediately analyzed the situation.

The Kyuubi was slightly clumsy controlling Naruto's, so it was the Uchiha's prediction that it would be about a minute and a half before the jutsu was complete. He still had the Hokage as a hostage, but he knew from personal experience how fast the ANBU would organize a counterattack.

Up in the trees at the edge of the mist filled field, Sasuke was finding himself conflicted. His original plan had been to just run away on his own as soon as he'd thrown the weapons, but now he was feeling the tug of his conscience. It wasn't with regards to any of his rescuers, as Sasuke had not doubt that one way or another, Itachi and Naruto would make it out alive. Instead, he found his concern focusing on a white haired medic-nin who was currently being restrained below him.

As much as it irked him, Kabuto had always been a loyal servant, and now he was in desperate need, with no one else to help him. Sighing to himself, Sasuke activated his Sharingan and jumped off his branch.

He fell through the air without so much as a whisper, and once he could see the backs of three figures he coiled his whole body up like a spring. Once he was only a couple feet above them, the jounin felt his presence and started to look up, but he exploded into action, driving the left jounin back with a blow to the jaw and sending the right jounin reeling with a kick to the stomach.

Even after this little acrobatic display, he hit the ground running, and after realizing what had just happened, Kabuto followed a few steps behind him. When the two of them reached Itachi, he barely even acknowledged them before starting to speak.

"Kyuubi needs another minute to finish his jutsu, and the ANBU will make an assault in 16 seconds. Temari will take the Hokage while Sasuke, Kisame and I deal with the ANBU."

Kabuto looked slightly confused, "what do I…"

"You," Itachi said abruptly, "stay here and don't get in the way. Are there any problems with the plan?… No?… Good."

Temari had the blissfully unconscious Tsunade quite literally dropped into her hands, and moments later she felt the approach of a group of high-level shinobi.

Hefting Samehada, Kisame grinned, "Here they come…"

Sasuke glared at his brother, "I can't believe I'm doing this"

Itachi relaxed his body in preparation for combat, "Naruto would rather we not kill people, but do what you must…" he paused for a second, "GO!"

They dove into the mist.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Immersed in fog, Kisame lifted his sword with two hands and went into a stance reminiscent of a batter awaiting a pitch and spoke in an exaggerated announcers voice, _"Now we have Kisame at bat…"_

He felt a disturbance in the mist, and swung, catching an ANBU in the chest and sending him flying back from whence he had come.

The shark man sunk into his stance a second time_, "That's a home run folks!…lets see if he can do it again"_

Moments later, a second ANBU advanced more cautiously. Kisame again swung, but his opponent danced just out of range.

Thinking he had caught his adversary off balance, the ANBU darted forward, only to realize he had underestimated the speed at which Kisame could reverse his swings. The second ANBU found himself flying backwards, and the shark man continued with his announcer's voice, _"Unknown to the other team, Kisame is a switch hitter! Another home run!"_

The squad commander, moving very carefully, made his way through the mist toward Kisame's position, followed closely by the rest of his team. He raised his hand as a signal to stop, and advanced the last few yards alone, trying to catch a glimpse of the blue skinned man through the mist.

The ANBU leader took another step forward, and Kisame, only a couple of feet away, swung with all his strength. The ANBU went hurling backwards, and moments later Kisame heard the sound of bodies colliding. He took a few steps and saw a conked out commander on top of his swirly-eyed team.

He smirked, _"There it is folks! Kisame scores a grand slam!"_

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Elsewhere in the fog, Itachi and Sasuke had their own ANBU to deal with.

So far, things hadn't being going so well, as the two brothers kept getting in each other's way. Their fighting styles were similar, but just different enough that their rhythms conflicted with each other.

Sasuke landed next to his brother and his eyes darted left and right. They were surrounded.

Itachi could feel the ANBU closing in, "You know what our problem is, Sasuke?"

Sasuke glared, "What?"

"We're focusing on our differences, rather than taking advantage of our similarities," as he spoke, Itachi regressed from mangekyou to normal Sharingan.

Itachi started to tap his foot to a silent beat, and Sasuke rolled his eyes, "You can't be serious, I haven't done that exercise since I was six years old"

Itachi's foot taping became more insistent, and when a kunai whizzed by Sasuke's head, he reluctantly started to tap along with his brother.

When they had been young, they had been taught that the best way to fight with someone else was to perfectly synchronize everything you did. The way they had been told to achieve this was to, right before combat, get their internal rhythms to line up by tapping their feet in time.

The ANBU were approaching, but as Sasuke focused on the beat, he could feel his heartbeat and breathing change to match his tapping foot. He started to hear the tapping in his head, and soon his foot stopped moving, and the silence told him Itachi's had as well.

His whole body now seemed to be operating on that beat in his head.

_Tap _

_Tap_

_Tap_

Itachi and Sasuke shifted their positions so they were back to back

_Tap_

The mist swirled and the attack began

_Tap_

Sasuke tossed a kunai into the air while Itachi sent an ANBU flying with an uppercut

Tap 

Itachi grabbed the Kunai from the air while Sasuke exchanged blows with another ANBU

_Tap _

Itachi went into a low spin while Sasuke jumped into a spinning kick, Itachi dragging his kunai across the thigh muscles of Sasuke's opponent and Sasuke kicking over his brother's head to send yet another ANBU away with broken ribs.

_Tap_

Itachi reached behind him into his little brothers pocket and grabbed one end of a coil of wire, Sasuke grabbing the other a moment later

_Tap_

Itachi and Sasuke sprinted away from each other, keeping the wire almost taut between them

_Tap_

Sasuke curved left and Itachi right, running in a large circle

_Tap_

The two brothers passed each other, forming a quickly tightening loop of wire

_Tap_

The both felt something catch at the same time and increased their speed, not willing to let their victims get away

_Tap_

They looped around again and met each other in the middle, then ran side by side until the wire was pulled as tight as it would go. Within the mist, four ANBU were caught in the razor sharp wire and were trying to free themselves

_Tap_

Itachi passed his end to Sasuke, who flashed through some seals

_Tap_

Sasuke held both ends in his right hand, "Yorozudori!"

Lightning arced over Sasuke's body and tore down the wire. For a few seconds, the wire crackled with energy, and Itachi could feel his hairs stand on end while he was ten feet away.

The energy subsided and Sasuke dropped a still smoking wire to the ground.

"That," he said breathlessly, "is a jutsu I invented to use on you"

Itachi looked on calmly, "Yorozudori……ten thousand birds……I don't suppose there's any point to checking on our ANBU friends?"

Still out of breath, Sasuke laughed throatily, "With that much electricity going through them, they'll be out for at least a few days"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Outside the mist, Kakashi watched.

It was like a wall of white, dividing the field in two. On one side was mass panic as the citizens of Konoha pushed to get away, and on the other side was absolute silence.

Two full squads of ANBU had already been deployed into the fog. There had been the sounds of combat, a large surge of chakra, and now nothing.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Kyuubi had been mentally counting his seals as he went; to be sure he hadn't missed any

_232…233…234…235…236…done!_

There was no jutsu name called, but Naruto, who had been just starting to enjoy not having to tell his body what to do, suddenly found himself slammed back in control just in time to feel a wave of chakra emanate from Seirei Kirite.

Next to him, Temari and Kabuto shivered.

Kisame, Sasuke, and Itachi immediately felt the wave and rushed back towards Naruto.

Within seconds, the great chakra had covered the entire village, and then it vanished.

The chakra was gone, yet every person in the village, shinobi or otherwise, felt something was wrong with the air.

Outside the wall of mist, a major assault was being readied, consisting of over 100 shinobi. Most of the villages ANBU and a large number of jounin were prepping and being hastily briefed.

Everything was silent for a few more seconds, and then a great unearthly howl resonated through the village, causing every man woman and child to freeze in their tracks.

Naruto let out a huge sigh of relief and almost collapsed, "It looks like our friend has made an appearance. We're in the clear…though I'm very tired right now…"

Walking slowly, and followed by Itachi, Kisame, Temari, Sasuke and Kabuto, Naruto made his way towards the edge of the mist. They started to hear yells, screams, and the sounds of general chaos.

When they broke the wall of white and emerged into sunlight, they found themselves faced with a scene that none would ever forget.

Konoha was wrapped in chains.

They were growing from the ground like devil's garden and seemed to cover the whole city, entrapping all its inhabitants in their frustrating metal embrace. Only fifteen feet away, Kakashi himself fought vainly against the chains that restrained his arms and legs.

The copy ninja stilled as Naruto approached him, and attempted an air of nonchalance, "Hello Naruto, come to visit?"

"Just here to pick up an old friend, Kakashi. We'll be gone soon enough."

The copy ninja smiled under his mask, "We will be coming after you…"

"No, you won't, because right now, everyone here is at my mercy. I could kill anyone I wanted, but I'm not going to, and in exchange you are all going to leave me alone."

"And what, dare I ask, makes you think we'll agree to this deal?" Kakashi asked, still smiling

"Simple. I did this jutsu once, and I can do it again. If I'm forced to use it a second time, I _may_ not be so merciful."

With that, Naruto strode past the copy ninja and made his way through the throngs of restrained and pissed off people. He ignored the familiar faces, the insults and the threats, walking resolutely forward.

Behind him, Temari was only slightly unnerved. She could see some shinobi trying to reach for weapons or form hand seals, but the chains always held them back. She was currently fighting off the fear that Fenrir might make one little mistake, and one ANBU would get a jutsu off.

As they approached the edge of the field, Itachi suddenly veered off to one side, making his way over to where he found a certain pink haired girl who was sobbing, her tears rolling off the chains that held her to the ground.

"Hello, Sakura-san"

Sakura's head snapped up in response to his voice, and all the shinobi nearby quieted in an effort to hear what was going on.

Paying no attention to the crowd, Itachi leaned in and whispered in her ear, _"Thank you for the meal and company"_

With that, Itachi backed away and jogged to rejoin his companions just as they reached the edge of the field.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

They stood outside a small store near the edge of Konoha.

"How much longer," Kisame inquired, "will this jutsu last?"

Naruto leaned against a wall, still tired, "A while yet. Forming the chains is very tiring, but maintaining them takes very little chakra. Fenrir can probably keep it up for at least a few more hours"

"In that case," Itachi said, "I think we should stock up on supplies"

Nods could be generally seen, but Naruto looked to be barely able to keep upright, so Itachi took control of the situation.

"Naruto will rest here, the rest of you, grab whatever you think might be useful."

With that, they set about the systematic looting of the store while Naruto sat outside on a deserted street. Or, to be correct, what he thought was a deserted street.

At first, Naruto thought the wind was just kicking up dust, but then he noticed that there was a whole lot of it collecting. He also realized a moment later that it was not dust, but sand that was swirling around him, and Naruto started to look slightly nervous.

All at once, the sand condensed into a solid form. A solid form that suddenly reached out and grabbed Naruto by the neck and lifted him into the air.

Now most definitely nervous, Naruto grinned, "Gaara……nice to see you again."

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/Author's Notes/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Translation

Yorozudori – ten thousand birds

Kirigakure no Jutsu – Hidden Mist Technique

Kaze Nenshou no Justu – Burning Winds Technique

To be clear before people start freaking out, there shall be no ItaSaku

This chapter was plagued by many delays, mostly due to two things: Harvest Moon and Final Exams.

For those who don't know, harvest moon is a game about farming. Yes, that's right, farming. It also has the honor of being the most addictive game I've ever played, beating out FFX, which used to hold that coveted position. In one weekend, I played harvest moon for 40 hours.

Final exams are a less fun cause for delay, but sadly are somewhat important.

As a consolation for the lack of plot, I give you a little random thing I liked, but knew wouldn't fit anywhere in the story.

/-/-/-/-/-/Bonus/-/-/-/-/-/

Sasuke glared balefully at his brother, "Yo mama's so stupid, at bottom of application where it says Sign Here - she put Sagittarius"

Itachi glared back, "Yo mama's so stupid, I told her Christmas was just around the corner and she went looking for it"

Sasuke's eyes narrowed, "Yo mama's so fat, her ass has it's own congressman"

Itachi's hands tightened into fists, "Yo mama's so fat, she fills up the bath tub, and then she turns on the water"

Sasuke activated his Sharingan, "Yo mama's so ugly, people go as her for Halloween"

Itachi did likewise, "Yo mama's so ugly, they put her face on a poster for abstinence"

Naruto and Temari were watching with bemusement and confusion respectively.

Temari glanced at Naruto self-consciously, "Those two _are _brothers, right?"

Naruto nodded, "Yeah"

"So they have the same…"

"Yeah"

Temari paused for a moment and shook her head, "These people confuse me"


	23. Fear the Pickle

Naruto had been in a great many difficult situations in his life, but his current one was easily near the top of the list. Gaara had him quite firmly by the throat and appeared completely casual about it.

"Hello there Naruto, It's been a while. I take it your doing well?"

Still hanging in the air, Naruto attempted an air of indifference, "Not bad, though I'm feeling rather tired right now"

The sand boy nodded, "That was quite a jutsu you did back there. Shukaku tells me it was to weaken the dimensional barriers, no small feat"

"I was quite impressed myself, as even I really didn't know exactly what the jutsu was going to do"

It was at this moment that the door to the store opened and Kabuto peeked out. He was about to say something, but then noticed the fox boy's situation "Is everything ok, Naruto-kun?"

Naruto grinned back, "Yeah, Gaara and I were just having a little chat"

Kabuto looked skeptical, "It looks to me like he's trying to kill you"

Gaara rolled his eyes, "If I was trying to kill him, he would be smothered in sand. I just want to make sure he doesn't run away"

The medic-nin shook his head, "Okayyyy then. Naruto, I wanted to know if you had any preference with regards to food?"

Still two feet off the ground, Naruto stroked his chin thoughtfully, "Hmm…not really, but thanks for asking"

"Carry on then," Kabuto said and ducked back into the store.

Gaara was silent for a few seconds, and Naruto started to get tired of hanging, "Uh…you've made your point, so could you let me down now?"

"No. The white haired boy had a good idea there, so I'm currently considering strangling you and throwing your body down a very deep well. I think the idea merits a few more minutes of thought"

"Do I have any input into this decision?"

"Your 'input' was kidnapping my sister and then disappearing"

Naruto pondered this for a moment. Gaara did have a point, and the fox boy wanted to tread lightly, as he was only mostly sure Gaara was joking about the strangling thing. Silence reigned for a few more seconds, then Naruto fell, hit the dirt and took a few deep breaths of air.

He stood up and brushed himself off, leaning against the wall, "So then seriously, what can I do for you? I would figure that you would ignore me and go see Temari"

"I will see my sister in good time. Right now, youare going to tell me _everything _that has happened since you left Konoha. Leave anything out and we may go back to the strangling idea."

Now, inside Naruto's head, little gears were turning. The only way for Gaara to confirm or disprove anything was to talk to Temari and compare what they said, so the fox boy could only get away with not telling Gaara something if he was pretty sure Temari wasn't going to tell her brother either.

The list of things covered by that definition was quite large.

Naruto then told his (slightly edited) story. Throughout his explanation, he discovered that he could judge how Gaara was reacting based on his scowl.

At the beginning, talking about when Temari had technically been his prisoner, Gaara had a fierce glare on his face, but when he got to the part about getting her a new weapon and helping her learn new jutsus, the sand boy's face became neutral and he even smiled a teeny tiny bit.

When Naruto finally finished, the two were silent again, each lost in their own contemplation.

The door to the store popped open and Kabuto again looked out, "Uhh…we have a bit of a situation in here"

Naruto sighed in exasperation, "I'm kind of busy right now…but tell me what the problem is"

The white haired nin rubbed his head nervously, "Sasuke and Itachi look like their about to attack each other"

This received an eye roll from Naruto, "I would be worried if those to _didn't _look like they were about to kill each other. Have Kisame and Temari calm them down."

Kabuto got more nervous, "Kisame and Temari are already making wagers with regards to the winner, so I don't think they'll be much help in defusing the situation"

Naruto looked up at the sky for a moment, then a proverbial light bulb appeared above his head, "Try making the offhand comment that you heard somewhere that the Byakugan was superior to the Sharingan"

Kabuto ducked back inside, immediately catching on to Naruto's idea, leaving said fox boy to again face Gaara alone, "So…what do you think?"

"It appears that under the circumstances you had no choice but to act as you did, so I can't blame you. I will also say that you appear to have done as well as you could to keep Temari safe and help her become stronger"

Naruto took a little bow, "I try my best"

"So then…when are they going to be done in there?"

"I'm not really sure, but it shouldn't be _too _much longer."

"What do we do until then?"

Naruto suddenly got a light in his eyes, "It's been a while since we've fought…the last time was, if I recall, in the forest when you went all crazy"

The sand boy smirked slightly and released his hold on the sand, allowing all of it to just fall to the ground. His gourd dissolved and the sand armor that always covered his body fell away, revealing his skin.

Naruto looked blankly on and Gaara's smirk grew wider, "Your exhausted right now, so using chakra wouldn't be fair. Besides, I haven't really had a chance to try this taijutsu I've been learning," Gaara took a look at Seirei Kirite, "but no weapons"

Naruto grabbed his sword and threw it haphazardly into the air, "Fine then, if you want it that way. I could use an old fashioned physical fight right about now"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Within the store, Kabuto found himself on the receiving end of a two-pronged attack.

Itachi and Sasuke were giving him the comprehensive list of all the reasons why the Sharingan was _far _more powerful than the byakugan. The two brothers had unconsciously fallen into a system where whenever one of them needed to breathe, the other would take over and continue the list.

Temari was just putting the last few foodstuffs into her bag when there was an explosion and all movement inside the store ceased. Sasuke stopped mid sentence and bolted for the door, Temari following only moments later.

Itachi, Kisame and Kabuto leisurely gathered up their things and meandered in the general direction of outside, confident in the younger generations ability to handle any problems.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

The street looked like a miniature desert, with sand covering the ground everywhere, but Sasuke's attention was immediately focused on the grapple that was going on.

Naruto and Gaara were in the middle of the mini-desert, caught in a deadlock. They were exchanging quick light blows with neither showing an apparent advantage.

It was obvious to Sasuke that Naruto had far superior taijutsu technique, but his fatigue evened the odds. Gaara used only the most basic taijutsu, but was far more energetic and nimble.

The young Uchiha shook his head. 'Nimble' was never a word he would have normally used to describe Gaara, but the sand boy had evidently been practicing and training.

The two combatants noticed Sasuke's appearance, but paid it no mind, both thoroughly enjoying the fight. They did, however, pay attention to who followed Sasuke out of the store.

Temari emerged into the light and was greeted by the image of Naruto and Gaara freezing in mid combat, with Gaara's fist an inch from Naruto's face and the fox boy just bringing his leg up for a roundhouse kick.

She took a deep breath, "_What in the nine hells are you two doing?"_

Still frozen in their odd tableau, the two suddenly felt the need to go hide somewhere.

Naruto went back to standing normally and cleared his throat, "Um…we were fighting…"

Temari felt a headache coming on, "Why, exactly?"

Gaara spoke this time; "For fun…"

Sasuke felt the need to bring up a point, "What was it that exploded?"

Naruto and Gaara looked at each other and shrugged, then looked around. After a few seconds, Gaara saw something and pointed, leading all gazes in that direction.

A few hundred feet away, Seirei Kirite was sticking out of an electrical transformer, sparking contentedly. Attention refocused on Gaara and Naruto.

Temari sighed, "Why am I not surprised…

Her adrenalin rush wore off slowly and she jogged forward to catch her younger brother in an unexpected hug, lifting him off the ground, "Despite the mess, its good to see you here, little brother. I would have thought you would be back in sand long before now"

Gaara blushed slightly, "Well…I was partly looking for you. You disappeared rather suddenly"

She laughed nervously, "Yes, I suppose I did… sorry about that"

Itachi emerged holding his bag and looked at the sky, "I'm afraid we must leave soon. We'll need all the time we can get"

Releasing her brother, Temari nodded, "Ok then. I'm really sorry, Gaara, I'd like more than anything to talk more, but the time…"

"I don't suppose you'd consider returning to the sand?"

Naruto was running to retrieve his weapon, but was listening in as she responded, a part of him apprehensive, "Part of me wants to… but we both know there's no place for me there. Not only that, it would ruin relations with Konoha. In fact, you probably shouldn't tell anyone you've even met me"

Gaara looked at the ground, "I guess"

She gave him another quick hug, "Tell you what, we'll come visit sometime, since I'd like to see Kankuro too. You just head back to the sand and don't worry, I can take care of myself"

Itachi almost growled, "We need to go NOW"

Naruto returned, almost stumbling, with his sword in tow, "Itachi's right. All of Konoha will be coming after us"

Gaara nodded, but suddenly grabbed his sister's wrist, "You promised to visit, don't forget"

Naruto laughed, "Oh, we'll be sure too, just you wait. Next time, we'll do some _real_ sparring"

/-/-/-/-/18 Hours Later/-/-/-/-/

Camp had been hastily set up, and its occupants were in various states of mind.

Sasuke and Temari were sleeping like logs after the ridiculously long run, Naruto was feeling refreshed as he had been carried by Kisame for a few hours and was out setting up a perimeter, and Kabuto, Itachi and the afore mentioned shark man were sorting through the supplies.

Kabuto was currently looking through the duffle Itachi had filled with a sweatdrop, "Um…there appears to be nothing in here but Pocky and Tang…was something wrong, Itachi-san?"

Itachi tried to look innocent, which he failed miserably at, "No, I chose what I thought to be most important"

Kisame dug through another one of the bags, and suddenly grinned in his unique sharky way, "You know what I'm thinking right now?"

Itachi's eyes narrowed sharply, "Yes, and this is NOT the time"

Kabuto looked confused, "What? It's not the time for what?"

The shark man held up a ripe tomato, "Time for a SCMS"

The poor medic nin looked more confused, "SCMS?"

Itachi rolled his eyes, "A special culinary munitions spar"

Kabuto tried to decipher this.

splat!

Pieces of tomato fell from Kabuto's face and he suddenly got it.

Itachi cursed, "Kisame! This isn't the…"

splat!

Cool as ice, Itachi removed the tomato from his face, took a deep breath, pulled a dozen eggs out of his bag, opened them, grabbed two in each hand, and whipped them at his parter.

Kisame ducked and laughed, grabbing a bag of carrots and tearing it open.

Soon, Kabuto was ignored completely as the two Akatsuki clashed with various food groups.

The shark man hit upon a winning strategy of using carrots as kunai until Itachi broke out his spinning sausage links.

Kisame's eyes narrowed, "Yes indeed……your sausage nunchaku are quite fearsome, but they are no match for _The Pickle of DOOM_"

Itachi snorted, "The pickle of doom? What are you going to do with a pickle?"

Kisame glanced sneakily over to where Temari sat against the tree asleep and reached into his duffle, pulling out a jar of what looked to Itachi to be perfectly normal pickles.

He slowly unscrewed the lid and drew one of the wet green vegetables out, and with a flick of his wrist, the pickle flew gracefully through the air, as if in slow motion, and smacked wetly into the side of Temari's face.

Her eyes snapped open and she suddenly became very awake.

Kisame quickly slid his jar back into his bag and yelled, "Itachi! How could you do that? Throw a pickle at a poor unsuspecting sleeping girl!"

The still groggy Temari made a threatening guttural noise and glared sleepily at the Sharingan user. Then she started to get up, and Itachi took a step back.

Naruto walked into camp ten minutes later, to be greeted by the scene of Itachi lying face down on the ground. "You ok?"

Itachi mumbled in a way that sounded vaguely like acknowledgement.

Naruto looked at the prone Itachi curiously, and then turned to Kisame, who was cleaning Samehada. "What happened to him?"

The shark man smirked, "He mocked the pickle of doom"

"Wha?"

"We had a special culinary munitions spar"

Naruto looked at the various food products that lay everywhere, "what exactly inspired you to do this?"

"It's a tactic to relieve stress and promote non-work relationships between Akatsuki pairs. Its also really fun"

Itachi pushed himself up, "That's a matter of opinion, but I won't deny I've been known to participate once in while"

"Well, on a more serious note, the perimeter is secure, but we need to decide where we're going now, and what you two are going to do. You do still remember that you ignored your orders and are now AWOL from the Akatsuki?"

Kisame nodded, "Yeah, but I've recently been having an idea that might solve that as well as some other problems. Trick is, we'd have to keep it quiet, cause it won't work if certain people are aware of it"

Naruto and Itachi looked at him questioningly, and he glanced over to make sure Kabuto was still out of earshot, "I think my idea will be best for Sasuke, but he probably won't agree with me on that, and if this is going to work, it has to be done tonight"

Itachi nodded, "we're listening"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

The next morning, Sasuke woke up feeling better than he had in weeks.

The sun was bright, his life was no longer in immediate danger, and things were looking good.

But he noticed something wrong.

Where there should have been people, there were none. Where there should have been a set up camp, there were just two sleeping bags. Everything else except two of the four food duffels and a plastic bag containing something he couldn't identify were gone.

This disturbed him.

He pulled himself out of bed, walked over to Kabuto's sleeping bag, and kicked it.

"Who? What? Are we under attack!"

"No, but we're alone. We appear to have been abandoned"

Kabuto rubbed sleep out of his eyes and surveyed the area, making the same observations Sasuke had only moments before, "What's in the plastic bag?"

"Dono, haven't really examined anything yet"

Saying this, Sasuke went over and opened the bag, revealing an envelope on top of lots of black cloth. He pulled out the envelope and tossed the bag to Kabuto, who began rummaging around.

The Uchiha examined the outside, which seemed normal, and tore it open, unfolding the two sheets of paper inside. The first one had only a couple of lines in what Sasuke recognized as his brother's slightly scratchy writing, it said _Congradulations, you've been promoted_

Shaking his head, Sasuke turned to the second page, which was significantly longer: _Within the country of lightning, there is a lord named Mamoru Shinobu. He has an estate 113 miles east of the capitol. He is to be eliminated. It shall be made to appear as if his wife killed him. Payment shall be 1200000 yen._

It was obviously a mission assignment, but there was nothing to suggest where it had come from. Looking down at the first sheet, Sasuke noticed there was something drawn on the back of it. It looked like a map.

"Hey, Kabuto, come tell me what you make of this"

There was no response, so Sasuke turned around and his eyes widened, "sonofabitch"

Kabuto was holding up two blacks cloaks, embroidered with red clouds.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Authors Notes:

New chapters will be MUCH faster then this last one, as there were some major complications, some creative (I wrote it, it sucked, I got discouraged, deleted it, and re-wrote it) and others technical (my computer has been dysfunctional)

On that note, If anyone knows why a computer might suddenly start running 20 degrees hotter than it used to, send me and e-mail. I've checked out all my fans and the machine is running at 170 degrees Fahrenheit (75 degrees Celsius), which is way over the max temperature it should be operating at. I've had to just run it for a few minutes at a time and it's driving me insane.


	24. Cool Hats

Not since the attack of the nine tails had Konoha been in such chaos.

People were running everywhere like chickens with their heads cut off, none of them really having a destination. Through the masses of people strode the Godaime Hokage, her body leaned forward aggressively as is daring anyone to get in her way.

She was going to a place that was generally forgotten and ignored, which was unfortunate because although only needed rarely, sometimes it was _really _needed. Now was one of those times.

She arrived at a small building on the west edge of town and banged noisily on the door, "Hanzo! Get down here now!"

After what felt like ages, the door was slowly pulled open and an old man looked out with a smile, "Ah! Tsunade-sama, what a pleasant surprise"

"You knew perfectly well I was coming, and you know just as well what I'm here for!"

The old man laughed and opened the door wider, "Must you always go straight to business? I haven't had a good chat with you in years"

Following the old man into his house, Tsunade looked around at the racks and shelves that filled it. Here was where the most ancient of scrolls and books were kept, an archive of information that no one had wanted but Hanzo. The library would have too much trouble to transport, so he had just moved into and redecorated the archive building.

They went into the study and Tsunade found a large plush armchair and sat down, waiting impatiently. Not in any rush, the old man took a moment to straighten a scroll rack that had gotten misaligned and then eased slowly into his own chair, "So then, I'm guessing you're here because of the incident a few days ago?"

"Of course! I've spoken with every jutsu specialist in the village, picked the brains of the summoning experts and been briefed by the greatest masters of chakra control"

Hanzo leaned forward and leaned his head on his left hand, "And now, after all that, you come to visit an old collector of books…why?"

"Because no one else has a clue what happened"

"Hmm…yes, it would appear that you are in quite a difficult situation"

"That," the Hokage said tiredly, "is a major understatement"

"Well, I've been predicting this visit, and have been doing some thinking and researching, but I first want to hear what other people have said"

Tsunade took a moment to sort through the mess of memories that made up the last 8 hours, "Well…I've been told it could have been some type of Doton jutsu, but I've never heard of any jutsu that widespread. Some people think it was an extremely powerful genjutsu, but that seems too farfetched as well. Apart from that, it could have been a chakra manifestation, but one of that size would require a inconceivably huge amount of chakra"

The old man nodded, "There's an old saying that goes: When you have eliminated all that is impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the answer. That was most certainly a chakra manifestation of some variety, which leaves us with the far more complicated and interesting dilemma of its source"

Sitting in her chair, Tsunade was wishing she had come to Hanzo first. As always, his calm methodology made the answers to problems seem simple, "So where do we start?"

"We start," the old man said, "with a poem"

"A poem?"

"What. Are you going deaf in your old age? Yes, a poem, or to be more precise, a very old poem"

"Give me an approximate age; are we talking 100 years? 200 years? 500 years?"

Hanzo reached behind his chair and pulled out what looked like a slab of stone in a plastic bag, turning it over to show a 4 by 2 foot surface covered in small scratch marks.

Tsunade stared, "You've got to be kidding me"

"This writing was only used for a period 1200 to 1600 years ago. It is the only record I have ever read that pertains to the incident"

"So read me this poem"

"I'll read a modernized version, since there have been some major changes in language and if I were to read it as written you wouldn't be able to make sense of it. In fact, the method I've used to modernize it is a relatively new and I have to say quite fascinating procedure, it starts by copying the manuscript twice and…"

"_Hanzo_"

"Oh, I'm sorry, you wanted to hear the poem, didn't you?"

The old man cleared his throat slowly and noisily,

_Long before the age of man,_

_When animals free roamed the land,_

_There arose up from his sleep,_

_A monster from the deepest deep,_

_His howl could make the oceans swell,_

_And with his roar the mountains fell,_

_The people fled clear of his path,_

_Lest upon them fall his wrath,_

_But some among them rose to fight,_

_Stood to end his reign of fright,_

_And from among them emerged eight,_

_Who swore they'd seal the demons fate,_

_On the highest peak of all the land,_

_The demon fought against the band,_

_For forty days and forty nights,_

_They clashed across the savage heights,_

_The heroes knew they could not win,_

_Their swords bounced off the demon's skin,_

_And yet still they would not yield,_

_But chose another battlefield,_

_As day turned twilight, then to dusk, they fought among the standing stones,_

_And there a ritual was done, to take them to the shadow planes,_

_Tis' said that there they shall remain, 'till willingly the best atones,_

_In that dark place where human souls, can serve but as the demons chains_

Finishing the poem, Hanzo raised his voice dramatically, as if he were an actor reading a script, "So, what did you think of that!"

"………Sure it's a nice poem, but what does it have to with the incident?"

Hanzo looked at her with just a twinge of condescension, "Hokage-sama, do you think any human would have the chakra to manifest enough chains to enwrap a _city?_"

Tsunade looked shaken, "No…I've never heard of anyone having anywhere near that much"

"Therefore the _only_ conclusion is that it was a demon"

"I guess…"

"NO! You don't guess, Tsunade! It's not a pleasant thought for me either but if we start ignoring things we're afraid of it will lead to the villages destruction"

Tsunade took a breath and closed her eyes, "So Konoha has been again ravaged by a demon, how am I supposed to tell the people without causing mass panic?"

"First of all, we weren't ravaged. If memory serves, no civilians and only 3 shinobi were killed. Those few who were killed were the ones sent after the escaped prisoner and his rescuers, so that means the demon itself killed no one, something we need to acknowledge and be thankful for. Second of all, there's already mass panic, so more information can't hurt at this point "

"So you want me to go out there and tell a city they should be thankful they were attacked by a demon!"

"Exactly. Had the four nukenin just attacked head on, there could be hundreds, or even thousands more casualties"

"Oh……I'd never thought of it that way"

"Obviously"

Tsunade got a glint in her eyes, "You might want to watch how you speak to me"

To her shock, Hanzo laughed openly at her, "You've become far used to your position intimidating people, Tsunade-hime. I was a jounin before you were even _born_. In fact, you might remember it was me who oversaw your jounin exam"

The Hokage did indeed remember. She had been completely confident in her abilities, only to be thoroughly thrashed by Hanzo who even then, at forty-six, had been old for a shinobi.

Hanzo went on, "The point being, I'm far to old to bother pretending to be intimidated by you youngsters and your filibusters"

"So then, what other insight can you offer me?" Tsunade said with only a hint of sarcasm.

"Well, the more I've thought about it, the more I'm sure the being we encountered is the one mentioned in the poem, but there seemed to be something missing"

Tsunade became fully serious again and nodded, "The last stanza was a completely different form than the rest of it. Your thinking someone cut out and re-wrote the end?"

"Indeed, I think there may be as much as half the poem missing, and I am working with the assumption that it was done to limit anyone's knowledge about this particular creature, whatever it may be. The obvious problem is that if this version was written over a thousand years ago, the original may not even exist anywhere"

"If it does, we'll find it"

"The other obvious solution would be to just find Naruto-kun and ask him about the demon yourself"

Tsunade shook her head, "I've had to send out squads to search the forest to keep up appearances, but it's obvious to anyone who knows about these things that with their head start our odds of finding them in the wilderness are slim to none"

"Well then, Tsunade-sama, I suggest you hop to it. I don't imagine the village is going to be very patient about finding out exactly what it was that made a complete fool of us and ruined our reputation of strength"

The Hokage groaned slightly as she got up, "I really don't need to hear that right now..."

"Oh but you do. The names of the shinobi involved will soon be forgotten and brushed aside, but it will be remembered forever that a demon was involved"

The Hokage seemed to get progressively more morose as she walked to the door, "Well...I suppose it's time to go out and face the bureaucracy"

"Drop by again some time, Tsunade-hime, I do so enjoy our little chats"

/-/-/-/Meanwhile, In the Forest/-/-/-/

As he had done so many times over the last couple days, Sasuke pondered conflictedly over the cloak that had only days before belonged to his brother. He knew logically that joining the Akatsuki would be a good choice for him; it provided a structured yet not overly restrictive environment for nukenins to develop their skills, but something inside him still resisted.

He set down the cloak and picked up the mission assignment on the back of which was scrawled a map. It showed an area near Hidden Waterfall and Itachi had, with his usual subtlety, written "SECRET BASE HERE" in large block letters with an arrow pointing towards the side of a badly drawn hill, where Sasuke suspected there would be hidden door.

Sasuke sensed movement behind him but refused to acknowledge it, continuing to study the map. After a few minutes of blankly staring at a page he had long since memorized, he lost his patience, "I think your enjoying yourself just a _bit_ to much, Kabuto"

Behind the Uchiha's back, Kabuto paused in mid kata, "But I'm just training, Sasuke-sama"

Sasuke slowly turned to look at the medic nin icily, "Your trying to make your cloak billow out as you fight! That's not training!

Kabuto smiled evasively, "Is there something wrong with wanting to fight with a little bit of style?"

"When your bugging me, yes there is"

"I think you need to lighten up a bit, Sasuke-sama"

"I think you need to stop being a distraction, as I am _trying_ to decide our next move"

"What's there to decide? We do missions for them, they give us money, and as an added bonus, we get cloaks, rings and cool hats"

"But still..."

"You have to admit, Sasuke-sama, that the hats are cool, and we get them for free! What other group gives out free hats?"

"The Shriners"

Kabuto paused, "A rare valid point...but their hats aren't cool"

Tuning out Kabuto, Sasuke looked again at the mission request, his logic finally overcome his resistance. Trying to be firm in his resolve, Sasuke jumped to his feet and started to pack up camp.

Noticing Sasuke's movement, Kabuto stopped mid-monologue, "So I take it we're leaving?"

"We'll try this mission, and if we succeed, we'll go from there"

"Yes!" Kabuto twisted his body so his cloak billowed out behind him, "free hat, here I come!"

/-/-/-/Meanwhile, Somewhere Else In The Forest/-/-/-/

"WHAT!"

Kisame took a step back from the irate girl, leaving Itachi to face her wrath, "How could you pack NOTHING but Pocky in your bag!"

Itachi crossed his arms, "I like Pocky"

Temari smacked her forehead, "Yes, but we human beings need more than chocolate and wafer sticks to survive. Therefore, it is somewhat of a problem when one of our provision bags contains nothing but Pocky!"

20 feet away behind a tree, Kisame felt the need to give his input, "Actually, Temari san, there's some orange tang in the bag too"

Immediately realizing he had drawn unwanted attention to himself in the way of a glare, Kisame ducked back behind the tree only to see Naruto taking a nap in one of the branches above him. Making sure as to not draw attention to himself again, he carefully climbed up the tree and poked the fox boy in the shoulder.

"Wha? Whadaya want Kisame?"

"What are you doing up here?"

"Well, I was sleeping until you interrupted me"

Kisame sat down on the branch; "I don't suppose you'd care to mention to Temari that she was the one who just grabbed two of the four ration bags without checking to see what was in them?"

Naruto looked over to where Itachi stood calmly amongst the hurricane that was Temari's temper

"Not particularly"

They sat silently for a few seconds, still well within earshot of Itachi's verbal thrashing

Kisame's stomach rumbled, "I'm getting hungry listening to her talk about Pocky so much…"

Naruto stood up and stretched, pulling his sword from where he'd stuck it into the tree, "Let's go get something then, we'll just take the long way around camp and find ourselves something to snack on…"

/-/-/-/10 Minutes Later/-/-/-/

After numerous failed attempts to sleep while standing and with his eyes open, Itachi had discovered a way to pass the time. If he watched closely, he could predict what Temari was going to say before she said it, and the closer he looked, the further ahead he could predict.

From subtle muscle twitches and the way her yes shifted he was predicting up to a full sentence in advance.

Itachi cut into her endless lecture, "Yes, There's a town only a few miles ahead where we can get supplies"

Temari stopped, "Don't interrupt me when I'm ranting…even my _brother _knows not to interrupt me when I'm ranting"

"You were about to say, 'and you better hope there's somewhere up ahead where we can get real food', and so I saved us both time by answering the question before you asked it"

"That's not what I was going to say!"

"Yes it was"

"How do you know?"

"I just do"

"If you're making fun of me I'll…"

Itachi suddenly vanished and Temari didn't even have time to react before her body went numb "What the hell did you do!"

Re-appearing right behind her, Itachi flicked the back of her head and watched as she tried to swat at him, but fell over instead.

"I just poked you in all 37 paralyzing pressure points," Itachi leaned over her, "How about this, I undo the paralysis, we get more food in the next town, and you stop wearing my ears off"

"Um…ok?"

Itachi poked her neck and feeling returned to her body, "Good then"

/-/-/-/-/Authors Notes/-/-/-/-/

There are moments in the life of every person when we wish we could do that, just instantly paralyze someone who was annoying us, the only thing is that Itachi _does _have the power to do it.

This chapter is intentionally (yes, intentionally) short because I wanted to keep a kind of lightness throughout the whole chapter, and that I wanted to do another little random bonus thing

For those awaiting more philosophical babble and Naru/Tem fluff, you must endure until the next chapter

Apart from that, I'm off to Anime Expo today for the weekend, so I leave you with:

/-/-/-/-/-/-/Bonus #2/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Gaara stood in the middle of an empty field, basking in the silence. There were no bugs, no animals, and no wind. There was no sound at all. He noticed that he was mostly naked, wearing only a set of boxer shorts covered in pictures of Shukaku, but it didn't bother him for some reason.

He started to walk forward, feeling the grass run pleasantly between his toes, and thought again what a wonderfully peaceful place this was, with absolutely nothing to annoy him…

"Pika?"

Gaara stopped cold and turned his head to look in the direction of the sound to see what had dared despoil his tranquility. There, in the grass, stood a large yellow mouse like _thing _that continued to look at him curiously, "Pika Pi?"

"Go away"

The odd thing stood there for a moment, then suddenly leapt at him, "PIKA!"

Electricity crackled in the air as the yellow rodent flew towards him and Gaara, being Gaara, reached out with his sand and crushed it into a bloody pulp.

Now back in his world quiet, Gaara was happy for only a couple seconds when his silence was broken again, "NOOOOOOOO! PIKACHUUUUUUUU!"

Appearing out of nowhere, a boy appeared and clutched at the bloody remains before standing up and striking a pose, "I am Ash Ketchum, from the town of Pallet, and you are a horribly evil man who has taken my best friend from me. It is with this knowledge that I shall, in the name of justice, strike you down and end your dark ways. Despite the loss of my partner from me and ended our great adventure, I shall continue on and…URK!"

The sand withdrew and Gaara sighed happily, his field was again tranquil.

"Prepare for TROUBLE"……… "and make it DOUBL…" _Squish_

Gaara cursed silently, where did all these freaks keep coming from? He looked around slowly, and no more annoyances appeared. But he walked cautiously forward only to feel something hit the back of his head.

He looked down and saw what looked like a red and white plastic ball. A moment later, another ball hit him, only to be followed by three more. He followed the path of the accursed projectiles and found an old man hiding in the grass, who upon seeing Gaara's approach, stood up nervously,

"Hello there, I'm professor Oak, and I'm here to tell you about the wonderful world of Poke…"

With a _squish _and a_ crack, _old man was no longer a problem, but Gaara was seriously starting to wonder if he was ever going to be left alone.

Gaara continued through the field now very apprehensive, but it appeared as if the annoyances had finally left him alone. He stumbled slightly on a rock and stubbed his toe. When he reached down to make sure it wasn't broken, he was struck with a dawning horror.

His feet were too small, as were his hands, and they were all yellow! He ran his hands over his body and felt not skin, but fur. Refusing to believe it, he tried to speak,

"Pi……Pika"

Gaara's eyes snapped open, "AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Kankuro burst in the door, "Gaara! You ok? What the hell was that!"

Quickly realizing he was in bed, Gaara calmed down, "I'm fine…just a nightmare…I'm fine"

Kankuro shook his head, "Man…that must have been some nightmare to scare you like that…"

Gaara laughed between deep breaths, "Lets just say I am never _ever _playing Gameboy before bed again"

/-/-/-/End Bonus/-/-/-/

This Bonus was for all you people out there who remember the original Pokemon TV series, and how horribly bad it was.


	25. The Bandits of Rivercity

Naruto felt that there was something very wrong with his current situation.

Temari had stated in no uncertain terms that Itachi was to have nothing to do with food shopping, and as Kisame was unnecessarily conspicuous, this meant Naruto had the 'privilege' of helping her shop while Itachi was 'punished' by being 'forced' to sit around camp relaxing and playing his guitar.

Something very wrong indeed.

Not that he really minded shopping all that much, it just didn't seem quite fair how things had worked out.

"Hello?" A voice interrupted his thoughts, "can I help you?"

Naruto blinked at the fishmonger, "Uh…yeah, give me some of…that," he said, gesturing towards one of the many bins filled with various varieties of fish.

The man smiled, "Sure thing, lad. How much would you like?"

"Give me…two fishes worth, I guess"

Despite having spent some time in the town already, Naruto still jumped slightly when the monger pulled out two 4-foot knives. Kisame had warned him that people in the country of water tended towards larger utensils as well as weapons, but it still took some getting used to.

Just looking down the street, he could see a woman in a food stand cooking on a grill with a spatula longer than Naruto was tall. Across the street a man was eating with chopsticks longer than his arm and beside him a young boy eating with a 3-foot fork.

"Done!"

A bundle of brown paper was tossed to Naruto so he caught it with one hand and dropped it into his bag of foodstuffs before handing the monger some money. If he found their oversized tools slightly odd, he had to admit that they were incredibly efficient.

Now armed with fish, he had almost everything on his list, with only cheese remaining to be found. It was, however, his suspicion that his last quarry might be more difficult to track down at a reasonable price. He looked up at the sky and calculated that he had about an hour before he needed to be back at camp.

Nodding to himself, he set off in search of dairy.

In an alley just down the street, a young face peeked out from behind the wall and watched him as he made his way down the street. Seeing as how he was in a city filled with giant knives and swords, Naruto felt no concern wearing Seirei Kirite out in the open, but as a girl stepped out from the alley into the street her eyes were fixated on it, and she slowly clenched her fists.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Temari, being a kunoichi, was a very disciplined individual.

But here she found herself unwatched in a city of very nice clothes stores with money. A _lot _of money. Money that wasn't hers.

Her self-control was weakening.

Before she could give in, Temari started running back towards the outskirts of town and eventually camp, trying to distance herself from temptation. She would be early, arriving back long before she and Naruto had agreed, but she had nothing more to do in the city and could look forward to a nap before supper was prepared.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

This, Naruto decided, was a great day.

Not only had he gotten cheese, but after letting a storekeeper admire his sword, he had gotten top quality cheese at half price!

He half-skipped down the street carrying his bag of food, and was sure that nothing could possibly ruin his day.

Unfortunately, he was wrong.

He had not gone two blocks when he felt that little tug in his mind that told him all was not as it should be.

As for his pursuer, she was quite sick of following this boy around as he apparently went shopping and had closed the gap considerably; being unaware she had been detected.

Not wanting to spook whoever it was, Naruto was careful not to look behind him, but sped up as he made his way through the crowd. He continued to feel that tug at his senses, and so he made a sudden turn onto a side street and sped up again.

As he got further away from the downtown throng, Naruto started to reach out with his senses while winding into more and more remote areas of the city. Eventually, he turned into a deserted alley and just stood, waiting for his unknown shadow to make a move.

Far above him she crouched on a rooftop. It was obvious she had been somehow discovered, but she wasn't about to let some common grave robber get the best of her. Running through some seals, she spoke at just above a whisper, "_Kirigakure no Jutsu,_" and drew two oversized curved scimitars from sheathes on her back as the mist rolled in.

She hadn't seen the boy wearing a forehead protector, so he probably had no idea what kind of sword he had. Luckily for her, it also probably meant he wouldn't know how or even have the strength to wield it.

Taking a deep calming breath, she jumped silently down into the fog, landing a good thirty feet behind her prey. He wasn't moving, which she found odd, since most people tried to find their way out of the mist, but she wasn't going to be so easily unnerved.

She advanced cautiously as she had been trained, waiting for there to be movement, but there was none. She closed to within a few feet and heard for the first time the voice of her target.

Naruto was annoyed. He had gone out of his way, he was hungry, and his cheese wasn't going to stay fresh forever, "Enough of these games. What do you want?"

The response came in the sound of a young girls voice that came from all directions, obviously trained to use echoes to hide her location, "I'm not going to waste my voice ofon grave robbing scum like you. If you have any last words, say them now!"

Naruto set down his food carefully, "Well, I'm not sure who you are, but you seem quite determined, so come on then

Bristling at his arrogance, she lunged forward with a low crosscut, hoping to take out his hamstrings

Naruto allowed half a second to admire her technique, then his fighting instincts kicked in. He started to turn while tearing his sword out of its restraints and twisting to parry her thrust with a vertical up-slice.

They were deadlocked for a fraction of a second, allowing both combatants to get a look at each other, and Naruto was surprised to see that his opponent looked to be no older than himself and wore a mist forehead protector. Not being one to ponder such things, however, he let a bit of chakra leak out and pushed, breaking the deadlock, her swords, and sent his unfortunate assailant hurling backwards.

Hitting the ground and rolling to a rather painful stop, she stared at her shattered blades with combination of disbelief and horror. These were swords that had been passed down through three generations of her family and survived four wars, only to be casually shattered by some thug.

No, she amended as she pulled herself to her feet; he was more than a thug. She hadn't seen his swordplay, but its results were enough of a testament to his skill. She closed her eyes, "Before you kill me, tell me at least who you are. In all hidden mist no one but my uncle was able to control that sword"

Naruto walked out of the mist rolling his eyes, "Don't be melodramatic, I'm not going to kill you. I am however interested in what you said about your uncle. I didn't know Zabuza had any relatives"

This made her pause and her aura changed completely, "You knew uncle Zabu?"

For Naruto, it was a truly surreal moment. He was fully aware of the severity of the situation, but having this girl who had just tried to kill him speak so lightly while using a pet name for one of the most frightening men Naruto had ever met almost made him burst out laughing.

"You could say I knew him"

And so an awkward silence ensued.

"Um…I'm Mako…Momochi Mako, and um…"

"You're a genin?"

"Yes…"

Naruto scratched his head; "Consider this a free lesson then. Don't attack someone unless you have some idea of how powerful they are, otherwise you really will end up getting killed someday. Where's your teacher anyway? It's their job to stop you from doing stupid things like this"

She flushed, "We're on a B-rank mission, but it doesn't start until later tonight. I saw you carrying uncle Zabu's sword (Naruto again fought the urge to laugh) and since it was marking his grave last I saw, I knew you must have taken it and you had no forehead protector so I figured you'd come here to sell it on the black market"

Naruto went around collecting the shards of Mako's two scimitars while trying to make sense of her rambling, "To be correct, it's my sword, and I would sell my kidneys long before I'd think of selling Seirei Kirite"

"Spirit Cutter? You renamed it!"

"Actually, it kinda renamed itself"

"Huh?"

Naruto sighed, "VERY long story. Suffice it to say that I mean Zabuza-san no disrespect at all, quite the opposite in fact, but either way the sword is mine now, and I am late for dinner"

"Hey! You can't just beat me up, break my swords, then leave!"

He dropped the fragments on the ground in front of her, "You're kidding right? You attacked me, accept responsibility for your foolishness"

With that, he walked over, picked up his food bag, and started on his way, leaving a still somewhat flabbergasted Genin behind him.

"Hey! HEY! Get back here! Are you listening to me?"

Naruto looked back with exasperation, "No, I'm not, and what exactly are you going to do about it?"

"I'll follow until you talk to me"

"What's to say I won't just get annoyed and kill you first?"

"You don't seem to me to be the kind of person who would do that"

Naruto cursed silently, she was right, "Well then, what do you expect of me? Do you want money or something?"

Mako started to wring her hands, "Well…you seem pretty strong and I was wondering if you might help with our mission"

"Come again?"

"I'm serious! Our teacher is confident but I'm worried that this one might be more than we can handle"

"So naturally the obvious thing to do is ask a complete stranger for help" Naruto said with obvious sarcasm, "did it ever occur to you that I might be an enemy shinobi sent here on a mission or to spy?"

"………no"

And so another awkward silence ensued.

"Are you an enemy shinobi here on some secret mission?"

"NO!"

"Then why did you bring it up?"

Naruto's eyebrow started to twitch, "To make a point, it being that you have absolutely _no _idea who you're dealing with"

She crossed her arms, "You're at least as strong as a chuunin, so I really don't care who you are if you'll help me"

"How bout this, you can come with me back to my campsite, I can eat supper, and you tell me about this mission"

Mako immediately changed back to being happy, "Okay then!"

Naruto again started to walk, grumbling as he went, "_at least as strong as a chuunin...sheesh_"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Itachi was the first to sense Naruto's approach, but felt another's presence and jumped up to a tree branch to look.

His eye's widening slightly, he jumped back down and poked Kisame, "Hey, Naruto brought someone back, a _mist-nin_"

Temari looked from her nap, "So? maybe he made a friend"

Kisame was less calm, "WHAT! Is he crazy? I've gotta hide somewhere"

Itachi continued on, "And its a _girl_"

Kisame continued to look shaken, "How is that relevant? It's a mist nin!"

Temari, however, went rigid at this additional information, "WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING?"

With now both Kisame and Temari in mild hysterics, Itachi smiled to himself. It was fun being him.

Looking around and seeing no places to hide at ground level, Kisame jumped up into the trees.

Only seconds later, Naruto emerged from the foliage and collapsed next to Itachi, followed closely by a far more energetic Mako.

The fox boy held out his bag of food, "Your turn to cook tonight, Weasel-man"

With a small sigh, Itachi took the foodstuffs, "Ok then, but I'm rather curious as to the identity of our guest"

Not the type of person to let herself be introduced, Mako jumped forward, "Don't mind me, Naruto-kun is helping me with a mission later tonight so I'm just passing the ti..." she stopped, re-examined the person she was speaking too, and her mouth formed an 'O', "your Uchiha Itachi, aren't you?"

Itachi almost dropped his bag of food, "How did you..."

She pointed behind him, leading everyone on the ground to follow her gaze to a tree upon which was leaned a half-wrapped Samehada

Violent swearing could be heard from above them and Kisame dropped down, "Dammit, Naruto! The least you could have done was give us some war..."

Kisame found himself faced with a set of huge sparkly star-filled eyes, "UWAAAAAAIIIII...IcantbelieveyourreallyheremynameisMakoanditsnicetomeetyouand...and...I'm your biggest fan!"

Temari had been quietly simmering, but she was the first one to sort out the jumble of words that Mako had just spewed. However, as said jumble of words had only the most marginal resemblance to an actual structured sentence, it took Itachi, Kisame and Naruto a few more seconds. The shark man just stood there looking stunned for a moment, then shook his head, "Excuse me?"

The girl was blushing red as a fire hydrant and looked slightly dizzy, and Kisame reached a hand to steady her, which she immediately appeared fascinated with, "Kisame-sama...is TOUCHING me"

THUNK

And she fainted dead away.

Kisame scratched his head, "Am I the only one who finds this situation really _wierd_"

The other three shook their heads slowly. Naruto looked around, "Sooooo, how about some supper? I got good cheese"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

The smells coming from the tinfoil dinners cooking on the fire were slowly wafting through the air and drawing noses as close to the fire as they could go without being burnt. Naruto stared at what would be his dinner as if it held the secrets of the universe, "So, what exactly is this, Itachi?"

The Uchiha looked up from his re-arranging the coals, "I took whatever fish that was you bought"

"Salmon," Kisame interjected

"I took the," Itachi nodded in Kisame's direction, "Salmon, seasoned the inside with some herbs Temari bought, stuffed them with some of that cheese, spiced the outsides a little bit too, and wrapped them in tinfoil with some carrots and thinly sliced potatoes"

Naruto brightened, "Amazing. It's like something a chef would prepare"

Kisame grinned, "If you're going to have to make all your meals yourself, they may as well be good ones"

Temari looked up from her task with a look of mild irritation, "Why am I searching the girl, shouldn't Naruto be the one dealing with his _guest_?"

Since she could only see his back, Temari failed to notice when Kisame's grin became more sharky, "Are you saying you'd want Naruto to search an _unconscious _girl who's only wearing what I must say is quite a form fitting ninja uniform?"

The sand girl examined what Mako was wearing, blushed, balled up her hands into fists, blushed deeper, and under her breath told Kisame to do various things that would be excruciatingly painful if even physically possible.

Through all this, the shark man continued to grin, "I thought not"

And so Temari went about her searching while everyone else stared at the food. One would initially think that Temari got the short end of the stick in this situation, but her search soon revealed something far more interesting than even Itachi's masterfully prepared cuisine.

"Ok, people, you _have_ to see this"

Dragging themselves away from the succulent scent of cooking fish, Naruto and Kisame went and looked over Temari's shoulder at what she held in her hand.

It was a picture of Kisame torn from what looked to be a bingo book. Someone had drawn a flower border on it. Naruto snickered while Kisame paled.

Continuing to dig, Temari emerged moments later with a small pocket book entitled: Who's who in the seven swordsmen of the mist. Flipping through the book, there were notes on almost every page.

Zabuza's page had the title Zabuza: Demon of the Mist crossed out and _Uncle Zabu _written in a flowing cursive, causing both Temari and Kisame to snicker, at least until they reached Kisame's page, which had yet another full color picture, this one covered in comments such as: _Well toned muscles, perfect height, cute ass_

The list went on, but Naruto and Temari found themselves rather hung up on the _cute ass_ comment. Kisame looked back at the Uchiha tending to the fire pit, leaned over and whispered, "I will give you _anything _to not show Itachi these"

Itachi having much better hearing than Kisame gave him credit for was, of course, immediately interested, "Not show me what?"

Jumping almost a foot in the air, Kisame rushed to grab the offending material but knocked into the sleeping Mako by accident, causing her to stir and slowly rejoin the land of the waking.

For the second time that day, Kisame found himself faced with huge sparkly eyes, "It wasn't a dream…Kisame-sama really is here"

Naruto tilted his head, "Your not going to faint again, are you?"

Itachi got up and started towards the huddle, "Not show me what!"

Mako looked she was about to answer Naruto when she noticed what Temari was holding and gasped, "AHH! How did you get those!"

Sensing that the group was teetering on the edge of chaos, Temari held up a hand, "Everybody STOP"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Ten minutes later, food was distributed and Kisame and Mako were far enough apart to prevent future incidents of fainting.

"I'm sorry I didn't recognize you, Mako-chan, but the last time I saw you would have been…"

Mako looked at the ground, "When I was six. I went to a dinner hosted by the Mizukage with Uncle Zabu and sat next to you"

Kisame suddenly laughed, "I remember, you were the one who choked on her milk during the Mizukage's speech"

Listening to the conversation, Itachi and Temari finally caught on. The Uchiha nodded slowly, "So your Zabuza's niece…and I suppose you want help with this mission later because…"

Mako crossed her arms and huffed, "Naruto took one of the most legendary relics of my family and broke two others, the least he can do is help me with one measly mission"

"For the record," Naruto semi-growled, "your swords broke when you tried to sneak-attack me! Besides, can't you get them re-forged?"

"Still…they'll never be as good as they were originally"

Kisame picked up one of the pieces and examined it, "Wrong there, little girl. These are decent weapons, but not extraordinary. Particularly not since Naruto broke them as easily as he did. Even I could do a better job than this if I put my mind to it…"

Kisame trailed off as he realized from Naruto's facial expression that he had said something rather foolish.

"Oh no…"

"Why not?" Naruto inquired, "I'll drag Temari along on this mission tonight, leaving you and Itachi with plenty of free time"

"Yes but…"

"No buts. Think of it as a chance to pay back an admirer" Naruto smirked, "an admirer who thinks you have a cute ass"

Mako's face looked like a tomato, "I wrote that when I was ten years old! Can't a girl keep her childhood crushes to herself"

"So…Naruto, how are Mako's sword skills?" Kisame said in an obvious attempt to change the subject

Naruto leaned back and stretched, "Hmm…she's pretty fast, but her actions are as predictable as Itachi's in a candy store"

Hearing this, Itachi grabbed some Pocky and started to munch, "Some day I'll get you all back for making fun of me…"

"…As I was saying, her actions are too predictable," he turned to the mist girl, "though you might be happy know that the parry I used on you was one of the ones Kisame taught me, or rather, that he used on me and I learned. It worked as well on me as it did on you, except that my sword is stronger than yours were"

Mako started to pout; "Still…I got beaten so easily by someone barely older than me"

Finishing his fish, Kisame joined Naruto in reclining and looked at the sky, "So Mako, when do you have to meet your team for this supposedly dangerous B-rank mission?"

"Pretty soon actually, I should brief Naruto and Temari-san," she looked at them, "If you don't mind?"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

The two Nukenin had the mission explained to them as they walked towards the south edge of the city.

"It's really a pretty simple mission," Mako said with a sigh, "there is a group of bandits who make their base and operate far too close to the city. We were hired by the Poohbah in control of this area to eliminate them"

"Poohbah?" Temari asked

"Oh…I keep forgetting you two aren't from around here. Poohbah, or 'Pooh' for short is the title given to the lesser officials who run the cities and rural areas. The one who hired us is named Vincent, and he really is a pretty decent ruler if you can get passed his weirdness"

Mako shook her head, "But anyway, the band who we were assigned to eliminate has no known shinobi affiliated with it but contains over seventy men and is well armed, trained and equipped, which is why the local guard haven't been able to do anything about them"

"So essentially," Naruto said, "You just want our support in case your team gets in over your heads?"

Mako smiled, "Right! I'm still a bit worried, but I'll feel much better if I know you're nearby in case something goes wrong"

They stopped as they neared their destination and Mako ran ahead of the other two, "I need to go meet my team now, so if you two could take up positions now, that'd be great. It won't be hard to find the bandits, and we'll be there soon. Hopefully, you two will never have to reveal yourselves"

With that, the mist girl bounded off into the city.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Kisame examined the shattered swords with a frown, "Ne, Itachi, I hope your well rested, cause I'm gonna need some of that fire you throw so well"

Itachi looked up from his guitar, "The Amaterasu is not for forging swords. Don't you know any fire jutsus?"

"None that I can use without the risk of burning the forest down. Controlling fire jutsus isn't something I've ever really practiced. Come to think of it, I haven't really practiced my weapon smithing recently either"

Itachi set down his instrument, "So really, we're just making it up as we go along?"

"Yeah, pretty much"

The Sharingan user let out a slow breath, "Ok then, let's get started"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Mako stared at her teacher in shock, "_What!_"

"You heard me," He said slowly, "after further consideration, your fears have some merit to them, so were going to hold off the attack and call for another team or two"

"But…we can't…I mean…"

The jounin sighed, "You're the one who suggested it, so don't complain when we follow your advice!"

Mako fell to her knees, "No…way," she took a breath and started to mumble to herself, "still…they should be able to handle themselves and they'll soon notice that we're not coming as long as they don't reveal their location"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

South of the city in the bandit camp, Naruto and Temari sat in a cage.

Naruto leaned against the bars, "Somehow, I just knew this was going to be one of those days…"

"Well, it's our fault for being detected, we shouldn't have underestimated them"

"Still…we could have fought back a little…" Naruto mumbled, only to be smacked on the head

"If we put up any major resistance we would have put them on high alert and made Mako's mission that much more difficult. Besides, this cage is probably more comfortable than wherever else we'd be hiding and as an added bonus, we don't have to worry about being seen"

A guard walked over and banged on the bars, knocking Naruto over, "Hey! Prisoner's who want to stay alive shouldn't talk"

Naruto could see Seirei Kirite only ten feet away and fought very hard to not let the Kyuubi just tear the guard to shreds, finally cooling his head as the man went back to his post.

Time passed and the two Nukenin were just starting to wonder what had happened to Mako and her team when the annoying guard came back, "Alrighty, brats. The boss said he wants to see you one at a time," the guard looked between them, his eyes settling lecherously on Temari.

For the second time that day, Naruto almost killed the bastard, but Temari grabbed his arm firmly and whispered in his ear, "_I can deal with any situations that come up, so promise you'll control yourself_"

Naruto gave her a look that suggested he would do no such thing, but again calmed himself down, allowing the guards to handcuff Temari and lead her out of the cage towards a ring of tents where the elite of the bandits lived. She was half pulled along until finally they reached the largest tent of them all and she was pushed inside.

"Hello, pretty lady!"

Temari looked at the…creature…in front of her, "Why do I always meet such bizarre people?"

The king of the bandits stroked his beard thoughtfully, "Having just met you, I don't really know"

As the man moved, he jingled. The man's clothes might as well have been made of bells, since his clothes were so covered in them she could barely see any fabric at all.

"Do you always dress that way?"

"Why yes, I do. I'm just the kind of guy who likes to be noticed"

"A bandit who likes to be noticed?"

"A bandit _king_" he corrected her, "and for a bandit _king, _one's reputation is as or more important than one's fighting ability"

"I suppose…"

"Anyway, you've put me in quite a pickle, your friend and you. I really can't allow you to live after trespassing with such weapons as you had"

Temari dropped and sat cross legged on the floor, "From your perspective, I guess that's true"

The king nodded resolutely, "So I suppose all I can do is ask for your forgiveness for what I must do. I'll at least try to make it quick for you"

While he was talking, Temari was starting to think she might have to break free, but she still wanted to give Mako a chance to act, "Ne, mister bandit king, you could at least let me live a little while couldn't you? Let me have something good to eat first?"

The bandit pondered for a moment, "Sure, why not?"

He walked over to the door of the tent and opened it slightly, changing his countenance completely and saying in an exaggeratedly dark voice, "Fetch me food, WORM! I have to…entertain our beautiful guest…HA HA HA HA HA!"

Closing the tent flap, he smiled uneasily at her, "Sorry, but I have to keep up the appearance that I'm doing all kinds of unspeakable things to you, so if you could holler like your in horrible pain once in a while during dinner I'd really appreciate it"

"You're planning to kill me later!"

"It's not like particularly I want to, and at least I'm treating you civilly"

Temari slowly tuned out the rambling bandit king as something itched at the back her mind and she suddenly went rigid, "Your men think that you're doing, as you said, 'unspeakable' things to me?"

"Hmm? Oh, yeah. I talk like that, again, to boost my rep"

"So the news will be traveling around your camp?"

"Well, yeah. Gossip is a bandits best friend, though I'm slightly sorry that your friend will have to go through thinking about what might be happening to you, but I'll tell him the truth before I kill him so he can rest in peace"

Suddenly noticing Temari's unresponsiveness, he leaned toward her, "Are you feeling alright?"

When she looked up at him, the man found himself stunned at how her gaze seemed to pity him, and even more so when she spoke, "The men in your band…they're the worst of people, right?"

The bandit king was only slightly taken aback, "Pretty much. Even I have problems dealing with them sometimes." He nodded to himself, "too many in this profession forget that there should be honor among thieves, why do you ask?"

Temari spoke with a soft and solemn voice, "These unspeakable things you're supposedly doing to me…Naruto will have heard about them by now…"

As if cued by her voice, the air was suddenly filled with the sounds of mayhem.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Kisame jumped as he was singed by Ameterasu, "Shit! Itachi, Be more careful!"

The Uchiha leaned against a log breathing heavily, "Do you have ANY idea how strenuous this is?"

"Come on, stop being a baby. We're already done one the swords, so we may as well do the other"

Itachi dragged himself to his feet, "Naruto is a bad influence on me. A year ago I would have killed you by now for being so annoying"

Kisame rolled his eyes, "Whatever you say, you're still being a baby"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Mako stood in the office of Poohbah Vincent along with her team, nervously awaiting the report of a scout who had been deployed to check on the bandit's camp.

The doors slammed open and two city guards helped the young man into the room, as skin was white as chalk and his legs appeared shaky.

The Poohbah stood up and slammed his hands on the desk, "What's the meaning of this, what did you see!"

The scout looked up with vacant eyes, "Dead…all of them…dead…"

Mako's jounin teacher almost had a heart attack, "HOW! BY WHO!"

The scout shook his head, "Couldn't see…mist…didn't hang around"

The Poohbah looked around the room slowly, "There is an unknown force in my territory capable of wiping out that powerful of a group without so much as a whisper…I want to know who they are. NOW!"

Advisers and city guardsmen sprung into motion along with pretty much everyone in the room except Mako, who was staring blankly into space

_They couldn't have…it's not possible…two people…that young…no older than me_

She continued to repeat these mantras in her head, but her memory kept going back to when Naruto had countered her attack with what she was now realizing was terrifying ease.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

The man formerly known as the bandit king stood among the ruble that had formerly been his tent and looked around at what had formerly been his group of bandits.

Many were dead, and those who weren't were dragging themselves to their feet and running away as fast as conceivably possible. The stench of blood was in the air and the occasional groan could be heard.

And in the middle of it, sat a girl. Lying down with his head in her lap was a boy, with his eyes closed and his body covered with small cuts and bruises.

The man watched them silently, his brain still not quite caught up to the reality surrounding him. As his thoughts slowly lined up in something resembling logical order, he slowly took a few steps towards the pair and noted that the boy appeared to be sleeping, his chest rising and falling slowly.

"Do you know what you have there?" He asked the girl in a quiet voice

"A boy" was the response

The man turned slowly to get the full picture of his surroundings and then refocused on the pair, "One with great power"

"Yes"

"He cares about you very much"

"I…hope so"

The man considered his surroundings again, then shook his head slowly, "I don't think you completely understand what it is that's laying with it's head in your lap"

The girl looked up at him and laughed softly, "That's probably true, but I can do my best to understand him"

"He must lead a very sad life"

"Once he did, but I'd like to think his life is improving"

The man turned and started to slowly walk away when he suddenly stopped, "You have there a person there who would wipe out a city to make you happy…"

There was silence for a moment as the man considered his next words.

"You need to guard your emotions and take responsibility for all your actions, or someday he might"

The girl watched as the man walked away, his bells jingling softly, slowly disappearing until he could no longer be seen. She looked up at the sky and rested her hand on the boy's forehead, stroking his hair softly as he slept among the dead.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Late that night, Mako slowly found her way back to where Itachi and Kisame sat packing.

Kisame looked up as she approached, "Have you seen Naruto and Temari?"

The mist girl eyes filled with tears, "I'm sorry! My teacher decided to postpone the mission and then the bandit camp was destroyed and no one knows what happened…and…and"

Kisame was about to reach forward to hold her shoulder, but remembered a certain fainting incident and his hands formed sign language,

_Itachi! You should comfort her!_

The Uchiha signed in response, _Why me? I don't do the 'comforting' thing_

_Well I can't touch her!_

_Too bad then_

Kisame gave up and tried to just talk her through it, "You worry too much, those two can handle anything the world can throw at them" then the shark man grinned and reached into his bag, "and…we finished your swords! Nothing near the quality of my brother's work, but hey, still not bad"

Like magic, the girl forgot about her concerns and snatched the swords, "…Hand forged by Kisame-sama himself…" her eyes again became starry, "I'll cherish them forever!"

The shark man sweat dropped, "Itachi helped some too"

The still chakra drained Itachi's glare bored into the back of Kisame's head

"Ok, maybe Itachi helped a lot…"

Mako stopped her cuddling of her new swords for one minute and dug through her pocket, withdrawing a business card, "Our mission was completed, but we're getting no payment since we didn't do anything. Here's the card of the Poohbah, and if you guys are subtle, he might pay you a little money under the table"

Itachi took the card, "Okay…thanks, I guess"

Kisame rubbed his head, "Um…you're not going to tell anyone I'm back in the country of water, are you? Cause that would really be a pain and…"

Mako looked horrified at the very prospect, but then smiled at him, "I'm loyal to my village, but I'm also loyal to my idols, and I don't think the two have to be mutually exclusive"

Kisame smirked, "Don't get killed, brat"

"I won't and…tell Naruto my uncle would be proud to have someone of such skill hold his sword"

She turned and ran back towards the city, bringing her hand up to her face to hide the beginnings of tears.

The two watched until she was out of earshot, then Itachi suddenly looked shifty eyed, "Are you going to tell Naruto what she said?"

Kisame snorted, "Hell no, the kid doesn't need a bigger ego than he already has"

"I think you're jealous…"

"Shut up, Itachi"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Naruto took a deep breath and jumped, falling straight down for ten feet or so and hitting the water with a violent splash. He felt his muscles lose some of their tension and opened his eyes to see the water around him turn red from the blood on his body and on the stained clothes he still wore.

Or rather, what was left of the clothes he still wore. Standing above him on the cliff, Temari's humility and desire to be clean were having a fierce battle, but one that her humility was destined to lose.

Diving into the water with significantly more grace than Naruto had done, she burst out of it giddily. "He he…so much water…water EVERYWHERE"

Naruto looked at her strangely, "Well, we are in the _country _of water, so one would assume that there would be a lot of water here"

"There is probably more water in this lake than there was within a hundred miles of hidden sand, so I'm allowed to enjoy it"

Ignoring her excessive enjoyment of the water, Naruto started to examine his various wounds, and Temari noticed him doing so, "How'd you get so beat up, anyway? It's not like you"

Naruto poked at his cut and bruises, "For the first little while, I was fighting armed soldiers with just my," he looked down at his hands, "claws"

"Why didn't you grab your sword? It was right there next to the cage"

" I wasn't really thinking straight at the time" At that point, his face was unreadable, but she heard something in his voice that sent a shiver down her spine

She sunk lower into the water and looked away, "I told you I could handle myself, why didn't you trust me?"

"I trusted you to act when _you_ thought the situation was getting out of hand. I acted when the guard told me that the bandit king liked to have his dinner while forcing female prisoners to do a striptease, which was when I viewed the situation as being out of hand"

"Still…"

"In my defense, with the exception of our guard, whom I took great pleasure in killing, I didn't hurt anyone who didn't attack me first. In actual fact, despite the mess I made of the camp, more people escaped than died, and if placed in the situation again, I would do exactly the same as I did the first time"

Temari tensed as the bandit kings words echoed in her mind, _"You have there a person there who would wipe out a city to make you happy…"_

Unfortunately, her tension caused her muscles to cramp, the immediate and obvious result of this being her sinking like a rock.

"And anyway, Temari" Naruto looked behind him, "Temari? Hello?"

/-/-/-/Two and a Half Minutes Later/-/-/-/

Naruto did a backstroke, "You really _do_ like the water, don't you?"

Catching her breath in the shallows, Temari glared, "Ha ha…very funny"

"Well, I thought so"

Naruto relaxed and started to float on his back in the water, "Ne, Temari, do you ever wonder what it would be like to be…normal?"

"How do you mean?"

"You know, normal. Learn math and language at school rather than killing techniques, work at jobs rather than go on missions, that kind of thing"

"Um…no, not really. Though it seems obvious you have"

"Sometimes I do, and I try to imagine people around me as well. What would Itachi be like if he had never been given a Kunai? Would he have become a scientist? Or maybe a banker? Would Kisame have become a sword smith or would he have become something like a teacher?"

Temari laughed lightly, "You really think about things like that?"

"…Do you remember when we first met? Not when we first saw each other, but when we _met_"

"If your referring to when you used a potent psychological attack on me, knocked me out and tied me up then yes, I do"

"Now see, whether or not you ever think about it, you score much better than average when it comes to looks, and so I like to imagine that if we lived regular lives and I had just seen you walking down the street I would think, 'Hey, that's a cute girl,' as compared to, 'crap, she's seen my face but I can't kill her', which is what I actually thought that day as you blasted away my concealing mist"

Temari was yet again blushing while cursing herself for being embarrassed over such a simple compliment, "Why would that be so different?"

"Well…we would be able to do normal things. Go to movies, hang out with friends, go for long walks on the beach…the usual stupid things teenagers do"

"I think you're looking at your life all wrong"

Naruto felt her re-enter the water, "How do you mean?"

Temari slid through the water and hugged him from behind, "Simple. First, we're going to deal with this issue you have where you only allow non-violent contact human if you're either emotionally disturbed or asleep, so I expect you to give at least three hugs a day and to try to stop avoiding touching people like you usually do now"

"Ok…"

"And secondly, this Saturday, you and I are going to a movie"

"But…"

"We'll leave Itachi and Kisame to do whatever it is they do, and I'm not taking no for an answer on this"

"So I guess I should just be quiet then?"

She rested her chin on his shoulder, "Exactly"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/Author's Notes/-/-/-/-/-/-/

This chapter is rather longer than usual, but somehow, it just seemed like splitting it up would have ruined some of the flow.

I personally thought I did some of my better work on this one, and like to think of it as a sign that I may be improving, or just that I'm becoming more easily amused (You'll have to decide for yourself)

In the last week I watched the Fullmetal Alchemist anime for the second time, and then decided to read the manga (which, for the record, is as different from the anime as NCT is from the Naruto anime. I kid you not)

Next Chapter: Naruto and Temari go to a movie and meet Vincent, Poohbah of Rivercity 


	26. When In Doubt, Kick The Fox

Author's Note: In the name of being sporadic, the notes are at the top again

1000 Reviews!

Over the course of working on NCT, reviews have helped me overcome numerous cases of writers block, aided me in improving and refining my style, and have given me motivation to keep writing even after making various major mistakes.

For that, this chapter is dedicated to anyone and everyone who's ever given me feedback; be it in a review, an e-mail, or by way of instant messaging. Give yourselves a pat on the back.

In other news, during my research for various recent chapters I have come across many interesting facts for fans and authors alike, and I present some of the most interesting here:

-ANBU actually stands for something. That being: Ansatsu Senjutsu Tokushu Butai, which roughly means "Assassination Tactics Special Squad." If it were a technical acronym it would be ASTB, but by taking the first two letters of the first and last words, ANBU is formed, which anyone would admit is much cooler than ASTB

-I took some liberties with Naruto's age by bending the rules a bit to make him a year older than strict cannon, but when it comes to Kisame and Itachi's ages, even the official sources contradict themselves. Itachi is quoted by official and semi-official sources to be both 17 and 18, while Kisame is said to be anything from 23 to 29. I went with the ages from the Second Official Data Book

-Every character in Naruto has a different birthday, and the odds of no two people sharing a single date of birth in that large a group is one in fifteen

-Many incorrect names are floating around for various character's parents, and according again to the Second Official Data Book:

Shino's father is Aburame Shibi,

Choji's father is Akimichi Choza,

Ino's father is Yamanaka Inoichi,

Shikamaru's father is Nara Shikaku and his mother is Nara Yoshino,

finally leaving Sasuke whose father was Uchiha Fugaku and whose mother was Uchiha Mikoto

-Dan (the past lover of Tsunade who died) was Shizune's uncle

-Kisame shares the record for tallest character with Shigure (a rain nin killed by Gaara in the forest of death) and is also almost the exact same height as myself (6' 3")

None of the above information was taken directly from the books themselves (I can't read Japanese) but came from a secondary source by way of a website's translation

Due to huge length, the uber-chapter that would have been chapter 26 has been split into three smaller chapters, the other two of which will be posted in the next few days. Things that don't make sense here will once you read the other two sections

Now, if you've read all 400 some words, feel proud, for you have reached actual story.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Kisame sat in the dawn's light contentedly, enjoying his few minutes of peace before the other's started to wake up.

Having spent years with Itachi, the two had many unspoken understandings, one of which being that the morning was Kisame's time. Unfortunately, Naruto was not a party to said agreement.

"Good morning, Kisame!"

"I see you're especially obnoxious this morning, what's the occasion?"

"Is there something wrong with just being happy to be alive?"

"Yes. It interrupts my quiet time"

Pouting, Naruto went back over to his sleeping bag and crawled in, "Fine then…"

A few minutes passed, and Naruto got back out of his sleeping bag and walked back over to where Kisame was sitting, "See, that was the time when you were supposed to say: 'It's alright, Naruto, I was just kidding, I enjoy your company' "

"But I don't right now, because you're interrupting my quiet time"

"Still, you were supposed to SAY it to make me feel better"

"Actually, I really don't care about making you feel better either"

Naruto grumbled and went over to start a fire going. The sun slowly rose above the horizon and as breakfast approached completion Kisame stretched languidly and stood up, "So then Naruto, there was no sign of you two when we turned in, so when did you get back?"

"Not exactly sure, but I can't have been asleep for more than five or so hours"

"How come you're awake so early then?"

"Wasn't sleeping too well, so I just decided to get up"

Kisame's nose twitched and he inhaled deeply; dissecting the myriad of scents he detected, "Hmmm…" he gave Naruto a weighted look as the boy reached to sample some of the eggs he was frying

"What?"

"You smell like blood, water, and Temari. The blood I can understand from your little bandit hunting excursion, but as for the rest, do the math"

Him + Temari + Water + Out Late … 

Naruto choked and spewed out half-chewed egg, "We were in the water with our clothes **_on_**"

Kisame blinked, "Oh…Too bad"

"………"

The shark man reached and snatched the pan from Naruto, "Mmm…these look tasty" he looked at the frozen boy, "What are you doing?"

"Trying _very _hard to forget what you just said"

"Why? The eggs really are tasty. One of these days you need to tell me how you make them"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Sasuke sat in a bar munching peanuts out of bowl when Kabuto plopped down next to him, "So, what information do we have on this Mamoru Shinobu?"

"Far as I can tell, pretty typical rich guy. Dabbles in politics, has multiple houses and is currently at his main estate. Well known for having violent conflicts with his wife, he's considered somewhat of a brute"

"Any clues as to who might have placed the price on his life?"

Kabuto nodded, "Probably one of his sons. They stand to have the most to gain from his death and aren't well known for getting along with either of their parents"

"So we're being employed by a person to kill one of his parents and frame the other?"

"Essentially"

Sasuke pushed himself up, "Alright then, let's move out. I don't want to hang around in any place for too long. Konoha caught me once and I'd rather they not do it again"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

It wasn't until everyone had gotten up and eaten breakfast that they realized they had almost nothing to do that day. Naruto had given Temari a good morning hug and thus had a quota of two left for the day, but was unsure how to proceed and decided to worry about the other two later.

Spending the morning training was fine, but by mid-afternoon Naruto was getting antsy. Seeing as how it was Friday, he would be going with Temari to a movie the next day, and was venturing into (what was for him) uncharted territory.

Normally, one would ask for advice in such situations, but Naruto was unsure as to whether he dared ask Kisame or Itachi for advice with regards to such a sensitive topic. Particularly since both of them were, and had always been as far as Naruto knew, single.

Sweat running down his body from training, he lay down on the forest floor and did what philosophers call 'stewing in one's own juices'. He continued to stew for the better part of half an hour, but never managed to come to what he would call a satisfactory conclusion, and finally decided to talk to Kisame, being the more normal of the two, and to just start conversation and see where it went.

As Temari was in the city for the afternoon and Itachi was playing his guitar, Kisame was training alone and thus relatively easy to find. Still somewhat unsure of himself, Naruto watched with a bit of envy as Samehada was whipped through sword katas far more complex than anything the boy himself had ever done.

With a final twist and downward crosscut, the routine was done, and Kisame slowly lowered Samehada and walked over to where he had a bottle of water. Although logically Naruto knew he had long since been detected, he still felt the need to step forward into the light before speaking, "I see you're as frightening as ever, Kisame-san"

Kisame reached and took a few gulps of water, "I'm doing well today. I had been worried that my skills might have been getting rusty, but apparently not"

"I don't suppose you'd like to show me some of those sword forms?"

"Ha! You think you can keep up?"

"We'll see, won't we?"

Kisame took a few more gulps of water, then picked up Samehada and went into a stance, which Naruto quickly copied. As had become their custom, Kisame would slowly go through a relatively short sequence of movements, which Naruto would then imitate. They would continue until they had gone through the entire sequence two or three times, at which point Naruto would start trying the form by himself and Kisame would correct his mistakes.

Naruto waited for a few minutes until they had fallen into a rhythm, then tried to be casual, "Ne, Kisame, have you ever had a girlfriend?"

To Naruto's shock, the shark man hesitated mid cut and fell off balance, dropping to one knee to steady himself, "A long time ago. Why do you ask?"

Slightly taken aback, Naruto took a moment to formulate a response, "I've just never heard you talk about that kind of thing…"

Kisame turned toward him and Naruto saw something dark in his face, "There's a reason for that. Now lets try that last form again from the top"

Naruto suddenly realized that he had somehow managed to devote his afternoon to training as well, and Kisame's sharp response was, for the moment, forgotten.

By the time suppertime rolled around, Naruto was ready to sleep. He was about to make a dive for his sleeping bag when he realized he had forgotten something.

Managing to catch Kisame in a surprise hug from behind, (causing no small amount of confusion and mayhem) he then came to an impasse.

Standing only a few feet away was Uchiha Itachi, and having caught on to Naruto's little game, was watching him closely.

Naruto, on the other hand, was busy being annoyed by how much Temari seemed to enjoy watching him futilely try to reason with the Uchiha.

"But I need to…"

"No"

"But Temari says…"

"No"

"Just this once…"

"No"

"I'll pay…"

"No"

"Bu…"

"No"

Diplomacy having failed, Naruto was left with only one option. He tightened all the muscles in his legs and dove forward. Itachi was of course faster, but Naruto followed him as he ran, unwilling to fail to meet his hug quota on his first day.

Unfortunately, Itachi seemed equally unwilling to allow Naruto within ten feet of him. And so followed a chase of epic proportions, lasting almost a full twenty minutes. The stalemate was finally ended when Itachi found himself immobile as something cold and wet trapped his feet. This rather abrupt stop caused Naruto to crash into him, leaving them both in a heap on the ground.

Itachi glared balefully up at an innocently whistling Kisame and slowly pulled himself up. Followed only moments later by a somewhat disoriented Naruto.

Satisfied that running into Itachi at high velocity was as good as he was going to do, Naruto found his way over to his sleeping bag and crawled in. At first it looked like he was going to be left alone, but he soon felt someone within his bubble of perception, "Temari? Whadaya want?"

She was crouched a couple feet away, looking decidedly amused, "You know that I wasn't really expecting you to try and hug Itachi"

"Then I'm glad I exceeded your expectations"

"Not only that, Kisame's eyes almost bugged out of his head when you caught him from behind, so for future reference, one hug a day will be fine from now on"

"Really, Temari," he said with a partial grin, "there's no need to get jealous. Kisame and I are just friends"

"…………"

"I have my eyes closed right now, but I'll bet you all the money in my pocket that you're blushing red as a strawberry"

Temari (who was, in fact, blushing red as a strawberry) stood up abruptly and stomped off in a huff.

Snuggling deeper into his sleeping bag, Naruto sighed contentedly; _why do I have the feeling she's going to get me back for that tomorrow…_

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Naruto was up bright and early again the next morning, only to find Kisame nowhere in sight. There was, however, a note tapped to the frying pan that gave vague indications that the shark man had gone into the city and would be returning late that night.

Lacking his morning entertainment, Naruto set his sights on breakfast, and soon had six eggs frying for himself, and two each for Itachi and Temari. His eggs were soon a thing of the past, and yet Naruto was still the only one awake.

Left to his own devices, he began to again stew. Kisame had been no help at all, and as Naruto didn't even want to _think _about talking to Itachi about relationships (the man had, after all, killed his entire family), he was left with only one option. He sat and allowed his mind to relax. Desperate times called for desperate measures.

He opened his eyes and looked into the abyss that was his mind, _"Hey, bastard fox!"_

There was no immediate response, so Naruto started to wander and soon discovered why.

The chibi fox was curled up in a ball, sleeping contentedly. So Naruto kicked it.

"_**What the hell!"**_

"You were sleeping" 

"I have long since discovered that most of your life is incredibly boring, so I sleep"

"Well, I need you right now" 

"_**Seeing as how we aren't under attack, I'm going to assume you want help with something other than busting stuff up"**_

"_Don't sound so disappointed. I almost never bother you, so you can afford to be at least a little accommodating when I do"_

"_**You kicked me!"**_

Naruto was now realizing he might have made a mistake in his method of waking the fox, _"Not very hard…"_

"_**Even so, it really hurt"**_

"I'll tell you what, I only need your advice on a few things, and I'll make it worth your while" 

"_**You better, runt"**_

As tempting as it was, Naruto knew he didn't have time to start an argument with the fox.

"Ok, here's my problem…" 

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

It's a biological fact that all people need sleep, but everyone sleeps in a slightly different way. For Uchiha Itachi, sleep means only being 95 aware of everything going on around him, as compared to 100 when he's awake.

Thus, for one such as him, waking up is not such a big deal as for normal people. For example, long before he was awake he already knew that Kisame was somewhere far away, Temari was still asleep, Naruto was sitting near the fire in a state of semi-awareness, and his nose had already smelled cooked eggs sitting in the pan, waiting to be eaten.

So therefore, waking up for Itachi is more a matter of just deciding to start moving, which he did. Contrary to what many would suspect based on his unmatched speed in combat, he wasn't a particularly fast moving person, or rather, he never found a reason to hurry.

And so, when he walked over to get some fried eggs, it was a slow walk, a deliberate walk, the walk of someone absolutely certain that his eggs would still be there whether he arrived in ten seconds or ten minutes.

When he finally did arrive, he scooped his eggs onto a paper plate and started to munch. After days of boredom, Itachi felt the rare sudden impulse to do _something_, and with the others all preoccupied, he wouldn't even have to explain himself (which was good, since he didn't know what he was doing yet) or run the risk of someone else tagging along.

Completely set on his plan-less plan of action, he finished his eggs and slunk out of camp. He was again in no rush and so arrived at the edge of Rivercity twenty odd minutes later, and started to wander in hopes of finding something interesting.

As luck would have it, after laughing silently at people using oversized eating utensils, he came upon a lady behind a cart that advertised: **FREE T-SHIRTS**

Now although not a person who wore T-Shirts, Itachi found himself unable (as many people are) to pass up a chance at getting free stuff, "Excuse me, miss, I'd like a shirt…"

"That's fine young man, but you have to complete a short survey"

Itachi's eyes narrowed, "Your sign says nothing about a survey…"

"Yes, but I assure you it won't take long, and it will help my company improve our services!" The lady emphasized this with a fake sugary smile.

The Uchiha mentally weighed the time it would take to complete the survey against how much he wanted the t-shirt and against how much mayhem it would cause if he just pinned the old lady to the wall with a kunai and took the shirt, "I will take your survey"

"Excellent!" The fake sugary smile got wider, "here you go!"

Taking the document, Itachi momentarily reconsidered the 'pin old lady to wall, steal shirt and run' method, but resigned himself to his fate, since he was to lazy right then to want to bother escaping authorities.

He sat down in a café next door and examined the survey he was to complete.

**Name?** Uchiha Itachi **Occupation?** Shinobi **Home Address?** (Somewhat at a loss, Itachi wrote in his old one) 12 Uchiha Ln, Konoha 

**_Sex?_** (Itachi blinked and looked up at the old lady suspiciously)

_No, thank you_

_**Age?**_

_19_

_**Weight?**_

Don't know 

_**What is your favorite snack food?**_

Pocky 

_**What is your favorite meal?**_

Pocky 

_**What is your favorite desert?**_

Pocky 

Happy that it had gone so quickly, he jumped to his feet and passed his paper to the lady, who looked at him untrustingly, but gave him a shirt anyway. Quite satisfied with his first accomplishment, Itachi set off in search of other things to amuse him.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Mumbling to herself, Temari rolled over as the sunlight tried with all its might to invade her eyes. Unfortunately for her, sunlight pretty much always wins such battles, and this one was no exception.

As she was forced into wakefulness, she homed in on the only other person nearby, "Uhhh…Naruto…watime isit?"

Naruto looked over from his place at the fire pit, "Not sure exactly, but its around 11AM"

She sat bolt upright, "YOU LET ME SLEEP UNTIL 11AM!"

"Yeah…why not?"

Now that she thought about it, there really wasn't a reason to get up early, but she couldn't very well admit it after such a dramatic outburst, so she made one up "I wanted to…polish my fan…yes…that's right, polish my fan"

"Well, you can do that now"

Temari smelled food, "Is that breakfast?"

"Lunch, actually, but I made enough for you"

After a couple minutes, Temari actually managed to get up and make her way over to where there was food, "and we need to get a newspaper or something, because…"

FWAP!

"Sorry, wasn't looking where I was throwing that"

Temari picked up the newspaper from where it had landed after bouncing off her head and flipped to the entertainment section, "So…we have 'JAWS 10th anniversary edition', 'My Neighbor Totoro', 'Rocky XVII', a bunch of dumb superhero movies, and 'Harry potter meets Godzilla'"

"I'm assuming that one is pretty short?"

She skimmed through the synopsis, "No, its not. Apparently the main characters talk for almost two hours about their various angsty lives, so when the big lizard finally does come and crush them into a bloody mess, everyone is glad their dead and leaves the movie contented"

"Ah…these moviemakers are clever"

"Anyway…I'm for going to JAWS, since I've never seen it"

Naruto sighed as he served the food, "I've seen a total of five movies in my life, so I'm good for anything"

Temari noticed what it was she had been handed, "What is this stuff?"

"Pan fried spam and instant rice"

"That sounds…weird"

"Try it first, then comment"

To Temari's great surprise, the Spam & Rice was quite good, so she and Naruto spent the next while focused primarily on eating. It wasn't until her food was almost completely gone that she noticed it was suspiciously quiet, "Where are the two fruitcakes?"

Naruto shrugged, "Out I guess, neither really specified what they were doing"

"All the better for us then. Having those two always around gets a bit tiresome"

"Maybe, but they've been invaluable to me as friends. I would have been dead months ago if not for those two"

Temari ate her last bit of lunch and threw her plate into the fire, "Still…"

Naruto pushed the log he had been sitting on out of the way and laid down on the grass, "Yeah, I know what you mean. Besides, you wanted a 'fruitcake' free day, and today we have one"

"Not quite…there's still one left"

Laughing and moving over to sit closer to him, Temari suddenly had her legs kicked out from under her and fell forward, landing on Naruto with a dull thump

Naruto managed to hide his amusement behind nonchalance, "You said I needed to work on human contact"

Deciding that two could most certainly play this game, Temari pushed her self up but only adjusted her position slightly, so she was next to him instead of on top of him with her arm draped across his chest and her head on his shoulder, "Ahhh…this is kinda comfy"

Naruto had not expected that.

His moment of confidence fizzling like a cheap firework, anxiety rolled over him in waves. Feeling him tense, Temari just pulled herself closer, "What _is _it with you?"

"People never touch me," Naruto mumbled, "that's just the way it's always been"

"Wait a second, didn't you live in some kind of foster home in your early life?"

"Yeah. They changed my diapers with tongs and bathed me by holding me by my arm and dunking me in soapy water. Most people in Konoha would have rather cut off their own hands than touch my stomach"

"That's…I don't even know what that is…I can't even imagine…"

He didn't respond at first, as he was waiting for his nerves to calm. When they finally did, Naruto reached around and pulled her body flush against his.

"Don't worry about it," he said with a grin, and sounding only slightly strained, "of all the things I've had to get used to in my life, this is one of the better ones"

The silence was tense at first, but passed through the stages of being awkward, normal, peaceful, and finally became a comfortable silence. Neither paid much attention to the passage of time, and Naruto soon started to dose off in the afternoon sun.


	27. Stop Being A Weenie

Author's Notes:

Here we have part two of the three part chapter, and since the third segment is already done, I'm going to spend the next couple days writing what will be the final chapter of the story. There will still be a few more chapters before we get there, but the end is in sight.

On a more positive note, this will give me the chance to re-think my writing strategy. Unseen has been neglected because I've been focusing exclusively on NCT, and if I ever want to have more than one story in production at a time, (and I do) I'm going to need to learn to schedule more efficiently.

Check my profile for updates with regards to the new stories, since I will need some pre-readers in the next little while.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

"Well, well, _well_…"

Naruto's mind, deeply in sleep though it was, reacted to those words like a cold bucket of water, but he kept his eyes shut tight and spoke softly, "Hello Itachi, when did you get back?"

"Oh, just now…" Naruto could hear the amusement dripping from his voice, "you two certainly look…cozy"

"What time is it?"

"Just past three"

Naruto groaned and slowly started to move, which of course immediately woke Temari. The two were back on their feet in seconds and, after a few yawns, fully awake.

Naruto stretched and then suddenly noticed something odd, "What's with all that crap you have, Itachi?"

The Uchiha was holding numerous boxes of many sizes, all filled with stuff, "That's why I'm here, I got tired of carrying all this around"

Rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, Temari leaned forward, "But what _is _it all?"

"I managed to get some free stuff from just walking around, then found an underground casino. I kept playing and kept winning, but decided to stop half an hour ago since I had almost more than I could carry. I plan to go back there now that I've dropped this stuff off"

"Oh…"

With a wave, Itachi vanished.

"Well," Temari said bluntly, "that was rather embarrassing"

"Could have been much worse"

"How do you mean?"

"It could have been Kisame that found us like that"

Temari opened her mouth to argue, then closed it again and thought about it, "Okay, you have a point there"

"Actually," Naruto said, "it's probably a pretty good thing Itachi dropped by, or we might have been late for the movie"

"Meh, we have half an hour yet"

Naruto looked at her curiously, "How come you fell asleep, anyway? You had just woken up"

"Well, actually" she said hesitantly, "you fell asleep a while before me"

"Then what were you doing all that time?"

"Nothing"

Crickets chirped in the background.

"Really?"

"Yes, really!"

More crickets.

"If you say so…"

With that, Naruto went over to clean up the forgotten lunch dishes, but Temari suddenly spoke really quickly, "Ok, I'll admit it. I noticed something while you were asleep that seemed strange, and it's been bugging me ever since. How come you don't have any scars?"

Naruto stopped and looked at her, "Huh?"

"Scars," she held out her arm to illustrate, "all shinobi get hit sometimes and so most are covered in scars, even Itachi has some, but not you. Why?"

Answering this question required Naruto to dredge up the memory of a conversation he had had with the Kyuubi some time ago, "Because I don't heal, I regenerate"

"I know you heal fast, but there should still be a scar…"

"No," Naruto corrected her, "Healing and regenerating are two completely different things. Healing is when your body replaces destroyed or damaged tissue with new tissue. Regenerating is when your body replaces damaged tissue with the same tissue"

"Um…what?"

"Its hard to explain to some who can't do it…" Naruto pondered and was suddenly struck by inspiration, "Okay, you and Kankuro are siblings, right?"

"Yes…"

"But you're not the _exact _same. The two of you have the same parents, but there are many differences between the two of you. That's how healing is, the new flesh is similar to the old, but not quite the exact same. Now regenerating on the other hand could be compared to a set of identical twins. Not only do they have the same parents, they are physically identical in every way"

"So then when you get hurt, your body replaces the material with flesh completely identical to what was damaged?"

"Exactly. Regenerating isn't very common, since it's pretty much a demon thing, but theoretically, I could even regenerate whole limbs with enough time and chakra"

Temari was silent for a moment, "So you could get a tattoo, and then when you were sick of it, cut off your arm, grow a new one, and get a different tattoo?"

Naruto sweatdropped, "Yes…"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Their movie was on at quarter past four, so they left camp at about three thirty. Before they left, Naruto went over everything the Kyuubi had told him.

/-/Flashback/-/

_**"Okay brat, since you seem to serious about this, you'll have to follow a few basic rules"**_

_"__No problem, give them to me straight"_

_**"You're going to have to not be an idiot. You often don't remember to do things like think before you speak"**_

_"Fine then, but lets try to avoid the personal insults from now on, shall we?"_

_**"Technically, you're going on a date with a coworker, so the same rules apply. No discussing anything shinobi-like and no bringing weapons"**_

_"But…what if Temari brings her weapons?"_

**_"She won't"_**

_"But…"_

**_"She won't"_**

_"But…"_

**_"Good god, she WON'T bring any weapons"_**

_"How can you be so sure?"_

**_"You live as long as me, you learn a few things. Now do you want my help or not?"_**

_"Yes!" _

**_"Then shut your mouth and listen"_**

_Naruto shut his mouth._

**_"Now, as I was saying. I know this might be a stretch for you, but you should try and work on your charm"_**

_"Charm?"_

**_"Yes, charm. It's not hard, it just requires you to think in a different way than you usually do"_**

_"Explain"_

**_"Being charming me_****_ans smiling, using what little wit you possess, and that sometimes you need to do something, often something frivolous, for someone even though you know they're fully capable of doing it themselves"_**

_"That sounds dumb, but I know what you mean"_

**_"Good. You again prove that you are, in fact, smarter than you look"_**

Naruto was tiring of the fox_, "Is that it?" _

_**"No. Most important of all, you have to learn to be less of a weenie"** _

_"__Remember the personal insult thing?"_

**_"Yes, but I don't care. You need to stop being a weenie. No girl is going to respect someone who has a phobia of physical contact"_**

_"May I remind you that my being so screwed up is mostly your fault?" _

**_"Again, I don't care. And just so we're absolutely clear on this, if you don't keep up your half of this bargain I'm going to kill you in your sleep, and consequences be damned"_**

_"Yeah, yeah, very scary. To my immense surprise, you've been pretty useful today, so don't worry about your reward"_

**_"And remember, brat : No weenieness"_**

_"Go to hell"_

/-/End Flashback/-/

As they were just about to leave, Temari was slightly shocked when, before she even suggested it, Naruto said he was planning on leaving his sword behind. She was again surprised when he suggested they walk instead on run, and doubly so when he asked to hold her hand.

By the time they actually reached the theater, she was starting to wonder whether this was really Naruto. They arrived with plenty of time, but wanted good seats, so Naruto gave Temari money to buy snacks while he got tickets.

Temari considered her many snack options and turned to the greasy man behind the counter, "Large popcorn please, and two root beers."

The man wiped his greasy hands on his greasy shirt and grabbed the popcorn scoop, "What'r you goin to?"

"JAWS, since it's supposed to be really good"

"Aye, it is, but you might find it a bit strange today"

Curious, Temari grabbed her popcorn, "How?"

"Well, this strange bluish guy came in this morning and bought tickets to _every single showing today_. Even weirder than that, the guy always cheers for the shark, rather loudly I might add. A couple people have even left the theater because he disturbed them so much"

Going white, Temari bolted to where Naruto was just about to buy tickets, "Naruto! Changed my mind, lets go to," she looked quickly to see what else was on right then, "Harry Potter Meets Godzilla"

Naruto blinked, "Okay then, no problem"

/-/-/-/-/2 Hours of Melodrama Later/-/-/-/-/

Naruto and Temari walked out of the theater in a kind of daze.

"Well," Naruto said dryly, "I was right about those moviemakers being clever. By the time Godzilla showed up, I was ready to rip into those whiny wizards myself"

"Well, it certainly was an…experience"

"Speaking of which," Naruto suddenly asked curiously, "how come you didn't want to go to JAWS?"

"I heard a rumor that someone strange was in the theater and was causing problems"

"Ah well, I guess we'll need to see JAWS some other time…you hungry?"

"Yeah, kinda" Temari said a bit self consciously, having hoped that her rumbling stomach hadn't been loud enough to hear.

"So what do you feel like eating then?"

"I don't know…why not find a seafood place? We are in water country after all"

"Sure, though I can't imagine seafood can get better than that fish Itachi made"

"That's because you've eaten nothing but junk your whole life"

"Hey, instant ramen is good!"

Temari rolled her eyes, "Instant ramen barely qualifies as food"

"Fine then, you pick where we eat and then we'll see if I think it's better"

Deciding to humor him, Temari found a convenience store and grabbed a tourism book, passing the man behind the counter a few coins.

Going back outside to where Naruto was waiting, she brandished the book like a weapon, "You better prepare yourself, because today your concept of food will be blown away"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Sasuke wandered back and forth in his hotel room nervously, his dinner long since forgotten. He tensed when felt someone at the door, but calmed when Kabuto slid quietly into the room, "Any sign?"

"No, Sasuke-sama. There don't appear to be any cloud nin in the city"

"Fine, but this will be the last night we spend in town. How did your intel gathering go, anything new?"

"Not really, this Mamoru is a tough customer. All his ex-employees are so afraid of him that I couldn't get so much as the name of his wife out of them"

"This probably goes without saying, but you were discreet in your questioning, I hope"

"Of course, not a one of them suspects I was anything more than a nosy reporter"

Dropping onto his bed, Sasuke stared vacantly at the ceiling, "So, we're going to just have to go to the estate ourselves and see what we can find out"

"Looks that way, Sasuke-sama"

"What did I tell you about doing that?"

"Doing what, Sasuke-sama?"

"Adding 'Sasuke-sama' to the end of your sentences. I thought I told you to stop that"

"You did, Sasuke-sama"

"Then why haven't you stopped?"

"It would be too disrespectful, Sasuke-sama"

"Okay, now you're just doing it to annoy me"

"I would never, Sasuke-sama. I can't even imagine going out of my way to annoy you, Sasuke-sama. Don't you know that, Sasuke-sama?"

Sasuke shifted his gaze to Kabuto, "See, the thing is, I can't tell if you're being serious or not"

"Why would I not be being serious, Sasuke-sama?"

"………Never mind"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Naruto looked at the restaurant Temari had chosen with a detached sense of awe.

"You plan to eat _here_?"

"Yeah, why not?"

"It's…so fancy"

"It's a sushi restaurant, Naruto. There's nothing fancy about sushi"

"I've never been to a place like this before"

"Which is why we're going, now come on"

Sitting down, Naruto grabbed his menu and began to read with fervor, while Temari casually glanced through her's.

Once their order finally was taken, Naruto almost collapsed, "Man…it was really hard to decide"

"Only because you acted like the fate of the world depended on what you ordered"

"I had to be sure I made the right decision"

"You do realize that if you really wanted to, we could come here again tomorrow"

"………" Actually, he hadn't realized that

Feeling foolish, Naruto searched for a subject change, "I was pondering something earlier. Why _do _people think movies make good dates, anyway?"

"Because they don't require any interaction"

"But doesn't that eliminate the purpose of going on a date?"

"Yes. But people like nice passive activities since they eliminate the need for such inconveniencing things as conversation"

"Are most people really that shallow?"

Temari shrugged, "It's just human nature. Remember the first girl you had a crush on? If you think back to it now, what was the crush based on?"

Naruto hung his head, "Point taken"

It was while Naruto was looking at the ground dejectedly that he suddenly felt something tickle his senses. Not wanting to needlessly cause anyone alarm, he lifted his head back up and his gaze scanned the nearby tables in what he hoped was a casual kind of way.

Three tables to his right, there was an old man sitting with middle-aged woman, and Naruto's eyes were drawn to the pair. It seemed to him at first to be nothing more than a woman going out to dinner with her father, as neither looked particularly strange, but there was _something _about the old man.

At that same table, the woman was getting nervous, "Father, that boy is staring at us…"

"Don't look! He felt my chakra, just a moment ago"

"How? It's perfectly masked"

"I sneezed. When you sneeze every bodily function stops for a fraction of a second, and during that fraction of a second I lost control and he sensed the chakra that leaked through"

"Impossible. I didn't feel a thing"

"Well that," the old man said while stroking his chin, "is because your senses are not yet well enough attuned"

"He is young, Father. There is no way someone of his age could have such perception"

"Ah, but you assume to much. Let us go, we shall eat somewhere else"

"But do we really have to go?"

The old man glanced sideways at Naruto, "Yes"

Naruto watched as the old man pulled a huge walking stick from under the table and stood up, at which point his daughter helped steady him and they walked out of the building. Then, there was a hand being waved in front of his face, "Hello? Earth to Naruto"

"What? Oh, sorry. Was just a little distracted"

Temari Hmmmed, "Yes, you were. What was up with those two people?"

"I'm not sure…and really, I don't care"

"So I can get to interrogating you about relationships now?"

"It's not like there's anything to tell. I'm not sure why, but every girl I knew was either stupid, weak, or more likely, both"

Temari searched her blurry memory of time she had spent in Konoha, "They didn't seem quite _that _bad…except that Sakura girl, she always pissed me off"

The effect on Naruto was immediate. His muscles tightened, his pupils narrowed, and he half snarled, "I'm not even going to _think _about her. Even bastard Sasuke worked and improved himself, but Sakura has never been anything more than pathetic. Even worse, she uses cruelty to mask her own uselessness"

"She sounds like a bitch"

"Yeah…that's about right… she was one of the main reasons I left the stupid village in the first place…"

"That, however" Temari said with a smirk, "is most definitely her loss"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

The old man walked down the street with a sense of urgency, his daughter trailing behind. Growing impatient with his lack of explanation, she grabbed his arm, "Geeze, dad! What's going on?"

"We're going to see the Poohbah"

"What? WHY?"

"Because, I think that boy might be far more that he seems, and if anyone in this city would know about any powerful shinobi in the area, it would be the Poohbah"

Setting a brutal pace, he burst into the city's central tower only minutes later, making the lady at the desk jump, "Can I help you, sir"

The old man (who looked fine, compared to his heavily breathing daughter) smiled in the wizened way that old men do, "Please tell the Poohbah that Szark and Seraphim are here to see him"

"I'm sorry sir, but he doesn't take guests this late"

Szark rubbed his head, "Ah, I'm sorry then, for not being specific. In that case, tell him that a Swordmaster of Hidden Mist is here with his daughter"

The desk clerk's face went ashen "Th…Th…Those names again, sir?"

"Szark and Seraphim"

"I'll tell him right away!"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

When Naruto and Temari finally got their food, they had been waiting so long that they both ate like they were starved. Naruto ate with such excessive speed that he didn't even taste his first few bites.

When he slowed down a little bit, the first taste hit his tongue, "Crap…this stuff is really awesome. I hate it that you're always right"

"The faster you get used to it, the easier your life will be"

Naruto spared her an amused glare between bites, but only for a second. Temari was quite hungry herself, and so their meal went on in relative silence.

When there was no more food to be found, Naruto laid back in his chair, "Ah…that was tasty. I need to try some more new kinds of food"

"But later, because I'm going to explode if I eat any more"

"Like you said, there's always tomorrow!"

"It worries me that you sound so enthusiastic"

Naruto reached into his wallet and pulled out a few bills, "How much should we tip?"

"Some people say a percentage of the meal price, but I just say give the server whatever you think he or she deserves"

Leaving 2000 Yen for a tip, Naruto stood up, "Ready to go?"

"Sure, it's actually getting pretty late"

As they left the building, Naruto suddenly realized Temari was right, the sun had already set. The night made the walk back seem surreal, as the only light came from flickering streetlights and a sliver of the moon.

They turned a corner and were suddenly hit by a cold wind, causing Temari to shiver, "How come you never seem bothered by the elements?"

"Aren't you just full of questions today?"

"Once I get a chance to examine you, I notice all this neat stuff and then I get curious," she pointed at where their hands were interlocked, "my hand is cold, but yours is warm despite the wind and the low air temperature"

"I don't know exactly how my body does it, but my temperature almost never changes. It has something to do with my chakra system and body composition, both of which are different than, say, yours"

"What did you _do _to yourself, anyway?"

"Forced near lethal amounts of demonic chakra through my system"

"I knew you were crazy, but that might be a record"

"Nah, it's worked out pretty well for me in the end. As well as being, as you put it, 'neat', there are major advantages to having a body like mine, and even now I'm not even sure I've figured all of them out yet"

Temari suddenly grabbed his arm and hugged it to her chest, "Okay then, I'm borrowing some of your body heat"

Even as most of Naruto was getting nervous, a little voice in his head repeated **_"weenie…Weenie…WEENIE"_**, and he willed himself to calm down. Once he cooled his head, he actually quite enjoyed the contact, as it gave him a warm fuzzy feeling in his gut.

It was in this way that they continued back to camp, neither really feeling the need to talk any more. Once they passed the city limits and entered the forest, the night became almost pitch black.

It was times like this that for Naruto, the world truly came alive. He closed his eyes and let his other senses take over, smelling, tasting, hearing and feeling the forest. Even without sight, he felt no fear, as he was fully aware of his surroundings.

It was nice, he mused, to use his advanced senses to just enjoy his surroundings. He could hear Temari's heartbeat, the scratching of small animals, and the rustling of leaves as if amplified by hundreds of small hidden microphones. It was not, he mused a moment later, the most emotional or dramatic simile, but it was accurate.

They stopped about a half-mile from camp and Temari seemed annoyed about something. Not wanting to cause trouble, Naruto remained quiet until she spoke.

"We have a dilemma"

"What kind of dilemma?"

"See, often the success of a date can be determined by whether the guy offers to walk the girl home/to her door"

"We live in the same place…"

'Exactly!"

"And this is a dilemma?"

"Yes, it is"

Looking down at her slightly pouting face in the moonlight, a maelstrom slowly brewed in Naruto's belly. He wanted more than anything to go for it, but his body was frozen.

_**"WEENIE!"**_

In that one moment, his inhibitions were shattered.

Pivoting on his right foot, he wrapped his free arm around her waist and kissed her with everything he had. Temari squeaked in surprise, but didn't make any move to push him away, and slowly started to kiss him back.

In the world of kisses, this one was rather clumsy, neither of the participants having much experience, but it had a certain illogical wonder about it, not unlike that of a young child's first spoken word.

When they broke apart, the warm fuzzynesss he had felt earlier was back, replacing the maelstrom that had been churning Naruto's stomach only moments before, "I think that was a good enough indication that our first date was a success"

Temari rallied her confidence and grabbed his shoulder, "Actually, I don't think I quite got the message the first time"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Back at camp, Kisame sat surrounded by JAWS memorabilia, "What are those two _doing _out there? They haven't moved for five minutes now!"

Itachi looked up, "Do you want to be the one to go check? And maybe walk in on something?"

"I never said anything about going to check, but I am curious"

Itachi sorted through the box of stuff he had won gambling, "Think of it this way, if we don't actually _know_ what they're doing, we can just assume whatever we want"

Kisame grinned, "And, of course, mock them ceaselessly about it"

"Exactly"


	28. Giggity Giggity Gig

Author's Notes:

Just moments before this chapter was to be posted, Never Cut Twice received its 200000th hit, so since I'm feeling warm and fuzzy right now, I'm going to do something I haven't for a long time, answer a couple questions:

Shun Yamada Asks:

**Why does Sasuke give a damn about, let alone not kill, Kabuto?**

Well, it seems to me that Sasuke would tolerate Kabuto, if only barely, because of Kabuto's strength and complete devotion. Kabuto has nowhere else really to go (would _you _want someone like Kabuto working for you?) and Sasuke is in need of strong allies.

**What shall become of poor Sakura?**

I received a number of similar comments, and I try to address them all here: There are a few schools of thought on Sakura, and for this story I'm drawing from the idea that she is fundamentally an extremely shallow person. I will be the first to admit that this isn't anything resembling a fair and balanced portrayal of her on the whole, but she was quite horrible to Naruto at times and that view of her fits in the context of NCT, particularly since she's not a very important character. Also worth noting that she became far more mature as the series progressed, and most of her appearances in NCT are as memories.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Walking into camp, Naruto felt a strange unease.

Itachi sat examining piles of stuff and Kisame was reading a book about sharks, but Naruto sensed something sinister in the air.

Temari seemed oblivious to the atmosphere and wandered curiously over to Itachi, "What did you win at gambling? Anything good?"

The Uchiha shrugged, "I now own a mansion on the north end of town, a summer house by the sea, a company that builds shingles, a horse named 'Tabasco', the patent of an invention that slices bagels, a candy store, and some guys wife. That's only the stuff worth big bucks, the rest is in boxes that I need to sort through"

Temari sat next to him and peered over his shoulder, "A man bet his _wife_?"

"Yeah. Actually, it was the same guy who I got the horse from, and he bet his wife before he would bet his horse"

"You started with almost nothing, so how'd you manage that kind of profit?"

"I just play card games, which I can win at easily"

"Isn't that cheating?"

"How is having better eyesight and a better memory than everyone else cheating?"

"I guess it's not…but it still doesn't seem right…"

Naruto flopped onto his sleeping bag, "I figure morality is beside the point, since Itachi, you have no use for anything you've won"

"Maybe so, but I can sell some of them for money, and return the others in exchange for having some powerful people owe me favors"

Temari poked Itachi's head, "This probably goes without saying, but I assume you are going to return the man's wife"

Kisame looked up from his book, "Bah! I bet there are some groups who would pay handsomely to have her as a hostage, use her to blackmail her husband"

Temari crossed her arms, "I sometimes can't believe you people…"

Naruto looked up lazily from where he was lounging, "He was joking, Temari. Do you really think we'd go to all the trouble of trying to transport and sell a person when we could just sell off that summer cottage?"

"Okay…I think you're missing the point, but it really doesn't matter"

Naruto was not really listening, as his mind had moved on to other more obvious sources of interest, "Speaking of junk, it looks like you got quite a haul yourself, Kisame…"

"This is not junk! I used to have the greatest known collection of JAWS memorabilia in the world, but I was forced to leave it all behind in hidden mist"

"You must really like the movie"

Kisame adjusted his JAWS hat, "It's my favorite. I'm always inspired when I see it to strive for great things, just like the hero in the movie…except that it's so sad when he dies at the end"

Temari huffed, "Thanks for ruining the ending!"

Itachi pulled a bobble-head of some famous actor out of his box-o-stuff and threw it over his shoulder into his 'trash' pile, "Don't worry, Temari. Kisame has a rather unique view of JAWS, which I should know since he's dragged _me _to see it at least seven times"

Kisame looked offended, "Hey, it's a great inspirational movie, and I think every young boy and girl should be taken to see it. A shark, wanting simply to find something to fill his starved belly, and the merciless humans who hunt him. You'll laugh, cry and be moved by the poor sharks struggle to live!"

Temari was wide eyed, "Okaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy then…"

A stuffed monkey flew through the air and landed in the trash pile as Itachi continued to dig through the box, "So anyway, enough about us. What have you two been up to all evening?"

Thinking he sounded a tad smug, Temari was cautious, "Not much. Went to a movie and ate some sushi"

"That's it? Sounds pretty boring…are you sure you're not leaving anything out?"

"Of course! Why are you acting so suspicious? What do you think I'm not telling you?"

"Well, for example," Itachi said matter-of-factly, "you're forgetting to mention your make-out session in the forest, if it was even as tame as that"

"…………"

"And just so we're clear," Itachi continued in that same tone of voice, "you two are free to do whatever you want as long as Kisame and I aren't around, since we really don't want to listen"

Temari glared, "I wasn't aware that we needed your permission"

Kisame smirked and brushed away an imaginary tear, "Ah, they grow up so fast, don't they, Itachi?"

Despite having been just moments ago in a very good mood, Naruto was getting annoyed, "Do you _really _want me to kick your ass that badly, Kisame?"

"Ha! I'd like to see you try, brat"

Just as the two swordsman were gearing themselves up, Temari tossed her sleeping bag over her shoulder and grabbed Naruto's arm, "Come on, these nutcrackers aren't going to let up any time soon, so we'll sleep somewhere else tonight"

Not really caring, Naruto just let himself be led into the woods, though he had the mind to grab his sword and pack on the way. They hadn't been gone a minute when Kisame noticed something amiss and raised his voice to call after them, "Hey guys, you only have one sleeping bag!"

Temari's voice echoed out from the trees with an edge of amusement to it, "That's all we'll need!"

The ex-Akatsuki shared a look, and Kisame let out a low whistle, "Well… she's rather feisty, isn't she?"

"Surprisingly, yes. We were, in a word, owned"

"I'm not sure it was quite that bad…"

Itachi gave him a flat look.

"Well, maybe it was that bad, but we can at least claim a moral victory!"

"No, Kisame, we can't. Our bluff was called, and plans of harassment were foiled"

"Bah! All they've done is temporarily delayed our mocking, since they have to come back in the morning. Not only that, they've given us a whole night to improve out strategy"

"True…" Itachi was silent for a moment, "and if they want to give us extra time, then it would be a waste not to use it"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Naruto examined his position with rapt anticipation. Temari was vulnerable, she knew it, and yet she would be completely unable to stop him. HE moved in for the kill, barely able to retrain himself.

"Your precious bishop is mine. Check!"

"Bastard…"

The sleeping bag had been fully unzipped and laid on the ground like a picnic blanket, in the center of which now sat Naruto's chess board.

"Are you ready to concede yet? I have checkmate in two moves"

"I need time to think"

"That," Naruto said pointedly, "was what you said about your last move, and yet after five minutes of thinking you moved exactly where I knew you would and brought me one move closer to check mate. So now again you are going to think, and four or so minutes from now, you are going to make what we both know is the only move you can and thus I will be one move from checkmate, so you should just give up"

Temari ground her teeth, "You should just _shut _up"

Naruto almost started whistling the 'Jeopardy' theme, but figured that might be pushing it, "So I take it I'm going to be the one who's sleeping on the ground?"

"Well yeah, what kind of man would you be if you made a girl sleep on cold hard dirt?"

Naruto rolled his eyes, but refrained from making further snide comments.

Time passed slowly, and Temari slowly had to accept that Naruto had been right. There was only one move she could make, "I'm going to get you next time"

Naruto laughed, "Sure you are"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Late that night, when the night was quiet but for the sound of Temari's breathing, Naruto slowly sat up and crept over to where his sword was laying against a tree. Being as silent as possible, he lifted the weapon and slowly snuck away.

He continued moving for quite some time, more concerned about the chakra he would give off than the noise he would make, so he made sure to be at least four miles from any other people.

Sitting on the ground, he laid Seirei Kirite in front of him and ran his hands over the blade, his mind sinking slowly into itself.

"_You there, stupid fox?"_

"_**About time! I've been waiting for hours!"**_

"Stop whining, you're getting an amazing opportunity, so you have no right to complain" 

Conceding the point, Kyuubi controlled his urge to spew insults.

"_Anyway,"_ Naruto said suddenly, _"what's this jutsu called?"_

_**"What IS it with you humans and naming things? This particular technique could never have had a name since you invented it, but you could call it 'Giggity Giggity Gig' no jutsu and it wouldn't make the slightest difference in how it worked"**_

Naruto had never really thought about it, but he supposed the fox had a point. Shrugging to himself, he drew himself fully back into the real world, bit his thumb and streaked a line of blood across the flat of his blade, forming familiar hand seals, but in a new combination"Giggity Giggity Gig no Jutsu!"

There was a momentary surge of chakra, a little smoke, and the jutsu was complete.

It was with great trepidation that Kyuubi slowly opened his eyes and looked down at his hands, "Kick ASS!"

In place of Naruto's familiar sword stood a young man, one who was now doing back flips just for the sheer joy of being able.

Naruto, on the other hand, felt a strange sense of satisfaction, "So how does it feel to have a body again?"

"Well, it is a _human _body, and so completely inferior to the noble body of a fox, but I suppose I'll manage"

For all his haughtiness, the demon was betrayed by the fact that he continuously flexed and stretched his muscles with apparent delight.

"Now I'm hoping you will remember the time limit…"

"Yeah, yeah, brat. I'll be back tomorrow mid-morning"

"And remember," Naruto spoke, "you may have a body, but the same rules as always apply. If you break even one, I'll know and you may find yourself quickly being cut off from the chakra that keeps you transformed"

"Yes, _Father. _Speaking of which, how real am I?"

"Technically, the body your inhabiting is a variation on the henge, but reinforced with chakra. You are for all intents and purposes human for the next twelve hours, but I'd avoid rough physical contact"

The demon suddenly dashed off, and Naruto followed closely, having guessed what Kyuubi had in mind. Arriving at a lake, the fox bent over and examined his reflection, "Hey…I look pretty good! The babes are going to be all over me!"

Naruto smiled to himself, "One more thing: You've helped me out today, and so I'm going to allow a _little _mayhem, but only a little"

Kyuubi suddenly noticed something strange about his clothing, an insignia on the back of his shirt… "Wait a second… You made me look like Uchiha Sasuke!"

Naruto started to make his way back toward the campsite, "Yes…yes I did"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Both Naruto and Temari slept in (relatively) late the next morning, so Seirei Kirite was back next to Naruto, the sword showing no sigh that just hours ago it had been romping around Rivercity in the form of Uchiha Sasuke.

Though unbeknownst to the Uchiha himself, all the city guard had been given Sasuke's (Kyuubi's) picture and were told to bring him to the central tower if ever spotted, to be charged with mischief and public disturbance.

It would be a shame that some years down the road when Uchiha Sasuke actually did visit Rivercity, Naruto was not in the nearby area to see the chaos that followed, but that is another story entirely.

Temari and Naruto of them stumbled back into the main camp only to notice a distinct lack of Itachi and Kisame. There was, however, a pile of a few scrolls and a Polaroid photo, which Temari picked up and examined.

It was a picture of Itachi and Kisame wearing cloaks, but they weren't their old Akatsuki ones, although the pattern did look familiar. There was a written caption that said 'Since he won't be needing it anymore' and it clicked.

"Oi! Naruto, get over here. You won't _believe _what those two wackjobs did with your sleeping bag"

Naruto had one of the previously piled scrolls in his hand and was reading the first few lines, "Considering what I've got here, I would believe anything"

"It appears that your sleeping bag has been made into clothing, though how the two of them managed to pull it off in one night is beyond me"

"Well," Naruto said, "count me as even more amazed because this scroll is, and I quote, 'The Uchiha And Hoshigaki Complete Annotated Encyclopedia Of Everything Two Hormonally Charged Teenagers Might Do While Alone In The Forest With Just A Large Sword And Naruto's Pack'"

"Creepy…"

"What's really creepy is that they knew _exactly_ what was in my pack. And I mean _exactly, _down to every last used gum wrapper"

Temari grabbed one of the other scrolls, "Apparently one wasn't enough, because here's TUAHCAEOETHCTMDWAITFWJALSANP volume two, and I'd bet that's volume three on the ground there"

"They managed to fill _three _scrolls? They must be a lot more creative than we are, since all we really did was play chess and sleep"

"So they managed to sew two cloaks from a sleeping bag and come up with and write three scrolls worth of ideas which I suspect are mostly sick, twisted, or both, all in one night?"

Naruto took a look at the photo, "No one takes stupid jokes more seriously than Kisame and Itachi. They're probably not here because they wanted to get some sleep somewhere we wouldn't find them"

Temari crushed the Polaroid in her hand, "Well, I'm going to find them, and they'll be damn sorry when I do!"

She paced back and forth fuming while Naruto read the first scroll with no small amount of amusement, "Well, you have to at least give them credit for sheer effort"

The boy tilted his head to the side as a kunai whizzed by his ear, "Okay, so maybe you don't"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Temari never did find where Itachi and Kisame were sleeping, but the two ex-Akatsuki strolled into camp that evening with wads of cash, announcing they had sold a little of Itachi's acquired capital and returned the rest.

Having spent the day wandering around with Naruto as he bought a new sleeping bag, the sand girl had almost completely cooled down, and had even allowed herself to read a few entries of TUAHCAEOETHCTMDWAITFWJALSANP, which she would never admit, were at least a little bit funny.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Early Moday morning, Itachi withdrew the business card Mako had given him a few days earlier, "So, what are people's views on going to see this Vincent person?"

Temari leaned against a tree, "I think we should go for it, I figure there's no harm in asking for payment when the job is already done"

"So then," Kisame interjected, "What do we do if he refuses? Are we ready to threaten him, and if so, are we willing to go through with any threat we might make?"

Itachi looked at Naruto, "You did the job, so it's your call"

He tapped the hilt of his sword rhythmically, "I agree that we have very little to lose by trying, assuming we're discreet, and a few subtle threats might be required. On the other hand, I want to avoid violence, so if push comes to shove, we back off. Sound good?"

Getting a generally affirmative response, Naruto nodded to himself, "But then comes the problem of who should go"

Kisame grinned, "All of us"

"Are you sane?" Itachi said bluntly, "Suggesting that you, a registered missing nin of this country, could walk into the central tower of this city unchallenged"

"Yes, I am"

"On what basis?"

"You'll all just have to find out"

Temari poked at the coals of the fire, making sure they were all out, "You're not messing with us, right? We're not going to walk up to the central tower only to be surrounded by members of the city guard?"

"Well…subtlety will be required, but once we're in the tower, there won't be a problem. However, this doesn't mean we won't need to prepare a little bit. Itachi joined the Akatsuki almost immediately after leaving his village, and so has never really dealt with clients personally, meaning I have to explain to you people how to prepare for and handle a meeting with the Poohbah"

Naruto harrumphed, "And what makes you an authority?"

Kisame looked annoyed, "Alright, everyone take a shot at guessing how old I am"

Itachi looked his longtime partner over carefully; curious as he suddenly realized he didn't know the shark man's age "Twenty six"

Temari shrugged unknowingly, "Um…twenty three"

Naruto continued to tap his sword hilt; "I'll go with Itachi on this one, twenty six"

Kisame stared at them blankly for a couple seconds, then started to laugh, "I'm glad I look so youthful, but I'm afraid to say I've been walking this earth for a full thirty years"

Itachi's mouth would have hung open had he allowed himself such displays of emotion, and Naruto's mouth was hanging open. Temari seemed the only one to be impressed rather than astonished.

"So, as I'm eleven years older than even Itachi, making my time as a shinobi almost twice his, I've had much more variety in my experiences. One of those experiences is that I have, on many occasions, met with high and done jobs for high officials. Any more arguments? No? Good."

With a few quick hand seals Kisame and Naruto concealed their more bizarre features, and thus the four set off for the city. None were concerned about carrying large weapons, as in this city, they blended in perfectly.

To Temari's delight, the place Kisame led them to was a shopping mall.

"Alright," Kisame said authoritatively, "we are not going to visit the Poohbah as Nukenin, but as contractors and businesspeople, meaning we need to dress sharply. Does anyone have any ideas or…"

Suddenly a dark suspicion popped into Kisame's head as he recalled that he had never seen Itachi wear anything other than a black shirt and black pants, whereas Naruto wore only a navy vest and black pants.

"We might have a problem here…"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Kabuto and Sasuke arrived at their mark's estate and almost immediately realized why the Akatsuki had been the ones to take this mission.

Not only was the estate crawling with guards, there were dogs _everywhere. _Sasuke observed their motions and immediately guessed the dogs purpose, "They're sniffing the guards to make sure no one is a imposter using henge"

Kabuto shook his head, "Those dogs can't have been easy to train, that kind of expense paid suggests our mark is expecting assassins"

Activating his Sharingan, Sasuke almost fell out of the tree, "Shit! There must be twenty…thirty…forty…more than _forty _genjutsu traps! We step on the wrong blade of grass and alarms are going to go off while we try to get out of whatever genjutsu it is," he released his Sharingan and rubbed his head, "there's so much it's disrupting my vision"

"So we're rethinking the 'chop the guard on the neck and take his place' approach?"

"Rethinking? We're trashing it. This mission is going to require much more deviousness, which is probably why they gave it to my brother"

"And of course, now you're going to give it your all just to prove you can do anything Itachi can"

Sasuke smirked, "Damn straight"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

It had been a unanimous decision among those whose votes counted (Kisame and Temari) to go with suits since Kimonos made Itachi look too feminine and made Naruto and Kisame just look weird. For the sake of consistency, Temari was told she would have to dress likewise, but she secretly preferred western suits to Kimonos as well.

Itachi and Naruto appeared perplexed by the black suits they were given and eventually came out and asked where the shuriken holsters were. This was followed by a long involved description of exactly what a suit was, how to wear it, and why it didn't have shuriken holsters.

Temari then dragged Naruto off to get his haircut while Kisame shopped for sunglasses and every female within sight range swamped Itachi.

Arriving back fifteen minutes later feeling refreshed, Naruto discovered Itachi reaching his breaking point as girls of every age surrounded him to stare and/or drool and/or grope. Suspecting that any moment now Itachi would grab a kunai and get stabby, Naruto made urgent gestures suggesting that Itachi make a quick escape to the men's washroom located only fifty or so feet away.

A couple minutes later, Kisame emerged triumphantly holding a number of small boxes, "Yo Naruto! What happened to Itachi?"

Even as he spoke, Itachi burst from the washroom like a bat out of hell and made it to the protection of where Kisame and Naruto stood in less than three seconds. As soon as he appeared, the girls started to gather, but were held back by the rather imposing men with large swords.

Figuring Temari might be a while shopping for herself, Kisame and Naruto escorted Itachi back the store to change back into his regular clothes, after which the three of them wandered aimlessly around the mall.

Eventually, Naruto got bored enough to start wondering that if one swallowed a kunai, would one die from suffocation or blood loss first? He figured suffocation, and was just starting to consider testing this theory out when Temari appeared carrying various bags and appearing absolutely ecstatic.

Naruto glared, "Nice of you to hurry, since we weren't waiting or anything"

"Oh, shut up. I'm in far too good a mood to be annoyed by you"

"So then can we at least go now? We've been here for over three hours!"

"Yes, we can, though I may go back and look more if you keep whining…" Suddenly noticing that Naruto, Kisame and Itachi were already walking away, Temari trailed off and rushed to follow.

/-/-/-/-/-/Later That Day…/-/-/-/-/-/

As the four made final preparations, Kisame sat with Temari watching as the other two struggled to move in foreign garments, "It's not fair, is it?"

"No," she agreed, "it's not"

"I mean, between the two of them they don't have as much fashion sense as a bowl of cottage cheese, but once they actually get dressed up…"

Temari sighed, "Naruto looks amazing, and Itachi could pass as a friggin model"

"Makes me want to go become a nudist…every one is equal that way"

This comment immediately caused all movement within thirty feet to cease. Birds stopped chirping, bees stopped buzzing, and the wind stopped blowing. After a moment of realizing everything had gone quiet, Kisame looked around blankly, "I was being sarcastic, you know"

Unfortunately, the damage had been done as each person tried vainly to rid themselves of the mental image.

Temari shook her head violently, "Let us NEVER speak of this again"

Kisame coughed, "Well fine then…I was just making a joke…"

Itachi was rubbing his temples as if plagued by a headache, "Next time, please make your jokes out of earshot"

"Some people have no sense of humor"

Naruto snorted with amused derision, "Some people have no sense of decency"

"Well some people are just stupid"

"Hey, I don't need to take that from a guy who looks like he belongs in an aquarium!"

"Ha! This coming from someone most suited for a zoo cage?"

As the two started into what Temari suspected would be a rather long exchange of insults, she gathered up her own purchases and made her way to one of the many nearby lakes. Never having been one to care much about fashion, she was nonetheless overjoyed at the thought of now having _something _other than her shinobi uniform.

She dressed quickly so as not to make the others wait, but fortunately for Temari, she had underestimated how long Kisame and Naruto could maintain a stupid argument, for not only were they were still at it when she finally made it back, they appeared to be nearing the point at which swords would be picked up and landscapes devastated.

Figuring the two of them should have gotten it out of their systems by now and were probably just angling for an excuse to pick up the aforementioned swords so they could devastate the aforementioned landscapes, she intervened "Alright, quit it! Kisame, weren't you just telling us a few hours ago how experienced you are? Shouldn't you then also then have an equal amount of maturity to go with your experience?"

Kisame rolled that thought around in his head for a few seconds, "Hmm…well, yes, I _should, _but that doesn't mean I _do_"

"Pfft…and you're supposed to be our role model?"

Kisame turned to deliver a witty retort but stopped when he saw her, "Well now…" said in wonderment, "and all this time I'd just assumed your hair was _stuck_ in those four spiky ponytail things"

Temari flushed, "Don't be stupid! I just do it that way so my hair never bothers me"

Kisame pouted slightly at being rebuked, but suddenly brightened again, "Hey! We have to do our 'thing'"

Nothing happened for a moment; then, as if cued by some silent maestro, the three reached into their breast pockets, pulled out sunglasses, snapped them open with a flick of the wrist and slid them smoothly on all in perfect synchronization. Temari burst out laughing.

Kisame stood thunderstruck, then he and Naruto both cursed and passed some money to Itachi, which the Uchiha collected smugly. It took a couple of minutes for Temari to calm down, during which time she almost tripped from laughing so hard.

As she eventually gathered control of herself, she noticed Naruto's irate state, "…sorry about that, but you guys look like a bunch of dysfunctional Yakuza"

"It's not personal" Naruto grumbled, "We all made a bet on how you would respond. Kisame figured you'd think it was cool, I figured you'd roll your eyes and brush us off, and Itachi said you'd laugh. The two losers had to pay the winner 5000 yen each"

"So now that you three are done being silly, can we get onto the important stuff?"

With a forlorn sigh for his 5000 yen, Kisame nodded, "Alright then, a couple things that the more unstable of us have to remember. Its true that we could crush the entire city guard without much effort, that doesn't however mean that we treat the Poohbah with anything less than the greatest respect. Speak only when spoken to or when I signal you. Most important, no matter what I do, make no threatening gestures of any kind"

He turned to Itachi, "So no sharinganing and no weapons," then to Naruto, "and since you have built in weapons, you must do your very best to look meek. No baring of fangs or flexing of claws"

Despite mild annoyance, there were sounds of grudging agreement on all sides, and Kisame gathered his thoughts, "Its getting later in the day, so we need to leave now and keep a low profile. A reputation is a freelance nukenin's most valuable asset, and we have the perfect chance here to start a good rep, so no mistakes on this"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Sasuke and Kabuto stared at a rough sketch of their mark's estate and the guard movements they had observed.

"So, Sasuke-sama, any new ideas?"

"Is there any kind of genjutsu we could use that we could use on the guards that we could later lift without anyone noticing?"

"Well…yes…but we need the whole household to be under its influence, and we don't know how many are inside. Not only that, but we're not sure how a genjutsu placed over an area that saturated with genjutsu traps might be altered"

"Can we even be sure that the mark is _in _the house?"

"That will require some reconnaissance"

"So assuming everything goes according to what we have as far as a plan goes, what's our time frame?"

Kabuto scratched his head, "I'd guess about three to four days"

Sasuke started to absentmindedly nibble his thumbnail, "Crap…we need to move faster…I have an idea for a genjutsu that might work, but it will need to be refined. Can you be reasonably sure of the presence of both the mark and his wife given a whole day to observe?"

"Sure enough, Sasuke-sama"

"Alright then…keep your sleeping time tonight short and start observing, I'll have my genjutsu ready in eighteen hours, but then I'll need to sleep for eight. That will mean that if we give ourselves four hours to prep and plan, we can start the operation in exactly thirty hours "

"Determined to get this over with quickly? Wouldn't a bit more patience be prudent?"

Sasuke nodded, "Maybe, but how long would this mission have taken Kisame and Itachi?"

"Forget sleep, I'll start observations now"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Vincent was not what one would call a fat man, but nor was he thin. The best way the Poohbah had ever come up with to describe his physique was that he fit his chair perfectly.

This was extremely fortunate, for he spent most of every day in his chair, seated behind a large oak desk. On the other side of the desk were eight other chairs arranged in a semicircle, where his numerous visitors sat.

He had entertained people of every variety in the course of his term, but as he sat reading through reports describing modifications to the cities sewer system, he was completely unaware of the visitors he was about to receive.

He heard a knock at his door, "Come"

His secretary pushed the door open nervously, "Karen says there are…people…here to see you"

Karen was the lady who worked at the desk downstairs, and Vincent knew that whenever she used the intercom to inform his secretary of visitors, she always gave a detailed description, "and what did she say about them?"

"There are four of them, but she seems mostly concerned with a large man who she says looks like he's going to eat her"

"They certainly sound…colorful. Are they armed?"

"No sir"

Vincent momentarily considered sending them away, but his gut told him not to. And besides, his report was about as mentally stimulating as watching ice melt, "Tell Karen to send them up"

Setting his papers to one side, he reached into one of his desk drawers and pulled out a clay jar and spoon. Dipping the spoon in, he withdrew a dollop of golden syrup and slid it into his mouth with a warm sigh.

Cleaning the spoon as best he could with his mouth, he replaced the clay pot and spoon back into their drawer, feeling much refreshed. He heard a knock on his door, "Enter!"

His door was almost thrown open, and Vincent's eyes tightened at the first figure that pushed confidently into his office, "Well…Hoshigaki Kisame…what a pleasant and rather interesting surprise"

Naruto was thrown off kilter by the Poohbah's apparent lack of shock at having an S-class missing nin walk into his office, but noticed there was a subtle tension in the air.

Kisame took a step forward, "Nice to see you too, sir"

Vincent leaned back in his chair, "Somehow I knew you'd show up here someday… but I forget my manners," he turned to address the group as a whole, "my name is Vincent Marmite III, Poohbah of Rivercity and the surrounding area. I am well acquainted with Hoshigaki, but I fear I am unfamiliar with the rest of you"

Naruto, Temari and Itachi took turns introducing themselves as politely as possible while the Poohbah examined them each with an unreadable expression. When they were done, he rested his elbows on his desk and laced his hands together, "The suspicion that this might be a trap has I'm sure passed through all your minds by now, so I would like to clarify exactly how I am acquainted with Hoshigaki-san"

In actual fact, not one of them had suspected a trap, because Itachi trusted Kisame completely and Naruto trusted Kisame completely. Temari placed her trust in Naruto, who trusted Kisame, thus, she trusted the shark man as well. Despite all this, they were all curious, so none corrected the Poohbah.

"It really was," Vincent said reflectively, "a minor event that had a huge impact. Back then I was a protester, nothing more than a punk, really, but I had a cause. The previous Poohbah was a true incompetent, but was the brother of a crime boss, and so remained in power for two full terms. He was about to be elected for a third time, and I started a number of major protests and one or two riots to try and stop him"

Naruto tried to imagine the man in front of him as a upstart idealist punk, and found he couldn't as the man continued, "I was had almost given up hope, but one night I found a note pinned to my door. It wasn't signed, but offered to solve my problems if I could provide safe passage to the mainland for one person and would agree to keep silent. I posted a reply note agreeing, went to bed, and woke the next day to the news that Hoshigaki Kisame, the Daimyo killer, had broken into the city that night had had killed the Poohbah. The next day I smuggled Kisame-san out of water country, and I haven't heard anything of him until today"

"How many years ago was that?" Kisame asked rhetorically, "I can't even remember for sure, but I was much younger"

"As was I," Vincent said with a shade of nostalgia, "but I doubt you are here to reminisce…"

Kisame subtly poked Naruto in the shoulder and the boy took the hint, "We are here with regards to the incident concerning the bandit camp recently destroyed"

Vincent laughed and waved for Naruto to stop, "Of course, of course. Had I known Kisame was in the area; there would have been no doubt in my mind as to how the camp was destroyed. You shall be paid in full"

Kisame looked sheepish, "Actually, it was_ Naruto_ who destroyed the camp, and he did so by himself, so the money goes to him"

Raising his eyebrows, Vincent re-examined the boy, "You don't say…in that case, the reward is 400000 yen, the same as I would have paid hidden mist"

Naruto almost fell over, "400000 yen? Are you sure…?"

"Of course, young man. I pay based on the job, not who does it. You did a B-rank mission, so you get the money for such"

"Well…thank you very much, sir"

In a much better mood than he had been in for quite some time, the Poohbah grabbed up his clay pot again and ate a spoonful of the tasty contents, causing Naruto to lean forward, "Is that honey?"

"Why yes, it is, and now that our business is concluded, I fear I must re-introduce myself, because although I am technically Vincent Marmite blah blah blah, my friends, and I hope I can count Kisame's friends as my friends, call me Vinny," he slurped down another spoonful of honey with a grin, "Vinny the Pooh"


	29. Szark Stings and Kabuto Sings

Author's Note:

Today I have some advice: it would appear that the best way to get reviews is not to write well, but to end your chapter with a really bad pun. I kid you not; the last chapter has received more reviews than any other. Opinions on the pun vary; some think it's good while others think its bad. But personally, I have to agree with the adage that:

A pun is only really funny, if it's also really punny (especially a pun 'bout honey)

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Naruto licked the palm of his hand and sucked each finger, "Man, that honey really _is _good!"

"See?" Vincent said confidently, "Everyone makes fun of my honey eating, that is until they try it"

"I mean seriously, you people need to try this"

"No," Temari said bluntly, "I'm quite sure we don't"

"Bah! Suit yourself"

"Oh, I almost forgot, Kisame" Vincent said as Naruto dug into his clay pot in search of honey, "Szark was here with his daughter recently, and though it's a big city, you should watch yourself"

Kisame blinked, "Wait… Szark is here...As in, Szark of the hidden mist? As in, Szark, _Swordmaster_ of the hidden mist?"

"Hmm? Yeah. Like I said, you probably don't need to worry. He wanted a list of all the high powered shinobi in the area, then he and his daughter left"

"Hold on a second," Kisame said nervously, "just being within thirty square miles of Szark would make me worry, so being in the same city as him is a BIG deal"

Naruto spoke through a mouthful of honey, "How come yoush care so musch anyvay?"

"Allow me to be blunt: I learned swordsmanship from Hitero Matsu, who learned swordsmanship from Ganju Sakai, and _he_ learned swordsmanship from Ikana Szark. Are we now getting some idea of why I'm concerned?"

Itachi crossed his arms, "But it's not like he's one of the seven swordsmen or anything, so I think you're overreacting"

Kisame shook his head, "Szark was around before the seven swordsmen, and his daughter, Ikana Seraphim, IS one of the seven swordsmen. Not only that, as if he weren't enough of a pain on his own, Szark uses a powerful ninjutsu sword and no one has any idea where he got it"

"Well," Temari said, "Now I'm worried"

Naruto was silent as his thoughts churned, "Temari… I think we saw him"

"What?"

"That old guy, at the restaurant. I think, no…I'm sure that was him. It would be far too much of a coincidence for there to be two old men in this city able to hide their chakra that well, and yet still have so much of it"

Kisame started to pace, "Well this is just great. We are so screwed. I'm amazed we haven't been found out already, especially considering the first place they'd look for people like us would…" Struck by momentary insight, his eyes riveted themselves to the office door, which slowly started to open.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

"For if I were an Oscar Mayer weiiiiiineeerrr, everyone would be in love with me"

Kabuto sat in tree, singing to himself. It wasn't like there was anyone close enough to hear him, and watching guards wander around can only amuse someone for so long.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Vincent's secretary pushed her head into the office door, "Excuse me sir, but Szark-sama is here to see you again"

The young secretary balked at having so many piercing gazes focused on her, even as the Poohbah muttered to himself then spoke firmly, "Tell him I'm busy. If that doesn't work, have the buildings power cut"

The secretary rushed back out, sensing urgency, "Yes sir"

Kisame smacked his fist into the palm of his other hand, "We have maybe three minutes, so everyone listen carefully. Seraphim will most definitely be waiting on the ground just outside the window, and we have no weapons"

Itachi appeared unconcerned, "Ah, and whose fault is that?"

"This is not the time to be smug, Itachi. I have to think…"

And so, with a very determined (but still very polite) old man pushing his way past Karen the door lady downstairs, there was silence in the Poohbah's office as Kisame applied his often underestimated intelligence to getting them out of there.

The proverbial light bulb appeared at last, "Got it!"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Ikana Seraphim stood below the central tower impatiently, leaning her rather small sword against her shoulder.

It is worth noting that the term 'rather small sword' is used relatively, meaning that she used a Katana rather than some type of broadsword and it was only five or so feet long.

Her father had told her to just stand and watch the Poohbah's office window. That was it, stand and watch a window. She had trained her whole life, practiced until she fainted from chakra depletion, and finally achieved membership as the first woman in the seven swordsmen. And her father told her to stand and watch a window.

It wasn't even a very interesting window, just a big sheet of glass somehow adhered to the wall. That was, until it shattered.

Shards of glass rained into the street as hundreds of clones poured out the window, running and leaping off in all directions. Her eyes scanned the mass, the surrounding buildings making it impossible to use the mass destructive type of jutsu typically used to clear such numbers of clones.

She was just about to send her own clone army in pursuit, when she noticed a chakra fluctuation. Locking her senses onto that 'clone', she bounded after it.

Among the clones, Naruto and Temari (who looked like Naruto thanks to a henge) ran quickly while not allowing themselves to move faster than the general mass of clones.

Naruto glanced back; "I think she took the bait, since she's coming after us"

"Can I just say now that I think this plan is completely insane"

"Sure, if it will make you feel better, but I suggest we run faster, since she's catching up"

"And was it really necessary to waste chakra on all those clones?"

"Yes, because otherwise it would have been to obvious that we were drawing her away"

They hit the city limits and started leaping through trees rather than buildings

"But still, that may have been a bit excessive"

Naruto silently conceded, but it was more because he wanted to focus on running than because he agreed with her.

They neared their destination and Temari fell back slightly, allowing Naruto to pull in front of her.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Itachi and Kisame stood in the street, watching as the main door to the central tower was pushed open and an old man walked towards them, leaning on his staff for support, "How nice to see you again, Kisame-san. I have to say I wasn't expecting _you_"

Kisame scratched the back of his head, "Of the two of us, Szark-sama, I can assure you I'm the more surprised"

"You appear to be unarmed today… but I'm more interested in how those friends of yours managed to get my daughter away from here"

"Simple. I relied on the fact that you hadn't told her anything about the person or people you were after, so there was no way for her to know that there were four of us"

"Ah, so you remembered how much I enjoy being cryptic, do you?"

"I will never forget. You were the one who first told me that a mission is no fun when you know what's going to happen"

"That may be true, but a mission is also no fun when the enemy is unarmed, so I suggest you remedy that problem quickly"

"Oh, don't worry"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

A certain white haired medic nin's hands were tapping his tree rythmically,

"When the chimes ring five...six and seven, We'll be right in sev-enth heaven. We're gonna rock... around... the clock tonight, We're gonna rock, rock, rock, 'til broad daylight. We're gonna rock, gonna rock, around the clock tonight"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Blasting into the campsite, Naruto grabbed Samehada and jumped as high as he could.

A nanosecond later, Temari had her fan and through no small feat of acrobatics, opened it and sent a shockwave of air straight up, launching Naruto high above the trees.

Holding Samehada by the hilt, like a javelin, Naruto forced as much chakra as he could into his arm, causing a few veins to pop out and a small spurt of blood, and threw the sharkskin blade as hard as he could.

Seraphim looked up as the sword flew over her head at near supersonic speeds, "…Samehada!"

She twisted in midair; hitting the next branch backwards and launching herself back the way she had come.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Szark was continuing to smile politely, "So, Kisame, did you ever manage to get the feel for that backhand twist cut?"

"Nah, could never get the timing quite perfect, so I figured out a way to compensate by speeding up my backhand cross cut. Not as graceful, but equally effective"

Itachi slowly shifted his gaze between the two swordsmen, finally settling on Szark, "So… I hear you saw Naruto at a restaurant"

"Naruto? So that's his name… well then, give him my compliments if you see him, because his sensory attunement is truly amazing"

"I'm sure he'll appreciate praise from one such as yourself"

"Whoa," Kisame cut in, "here it comes…"

Running over to a wall and running up it, Kisame back-flipped off and grabbed Samehada as it flew past, landing lightly in a crouch, "Sorry for the delay. I'm ready now"

Szark grabbed his wooden staff by its thick end, his hand facing the ground, and flipped the staff so he was holding it like a sword, "Excellent. I was getting impatient"

Itachi blinked, "Um... Am I fighting too?"

"Of course," Szark said as if it were obvious, "Kisame alone won't keep me entertained for very long"

As he spoke, a ripple rolled down his staff, the wood seeming to melt into the shape of a blade.

"Wait a second, you're going to fight Kisame and me with a _wooden _sword?"

Kisame sweatdropped, "Itachi…"

"Why yes, I am. Do you have a problem with that?"

"Not really, but…" The Uchiha blinked; Szark was gone.

He threw himself to one side out of pure instinct, and the earth exploded behind him. When he looked again, Szark's wooden sword was embedded halfway into where he had been standing, and the old man himself was balanced on top, "My my, and I'd heard that the Uchiha had the best eyes anywhere. Do try to keep up with me next time"

There was a blur of movement and Itachi again got himself out of the way with fractions of a second to spare.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Temari looked around nervously as they ran through the forest away from the city, now re-armed and re-supplied, "Are you sure it's okay to leave them like that?"

Naruto shrugged, "Well, Kisame said we'd just get in the way, and considering the opponent, I'm inclined to believe him"

She looked at him skeptically, "But…"

"There is the small matter of the fact that I'd rather not have to fight a sword master of hidden mist, but Kisame said they'd be fine, and we have to trust him on that"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

"And I'm…too sexy for the leaf… too sexy for the leaf…I like pot stewed beef"

Kabuto was now at the point of making up his own lyrics, and realized with a start that he was rather hungry.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Extemporaneous Notes:

Those of you out there who have seen Fullmetal Alchemist might want to check out 'Laughing Shadow', my newest venture.

The link is, of course, on my profile page.

Actually, now that I think about it, you should go read it whether you've seen Fullmetal Alchemist or not.

Today's chapter is really short, I know. Next chapter will be normal length.


	30. Dark Waters

Author's Note: After 100,000 words, I'm pretty set in my ways, but at the request of many reviewers, I'm going to try to add the correct punctuation to my dialogue.

Some have commented on Szark's name being similar to 'shark', an association that honestly never crossed my mind.

This chapter is not _quite_ full length, but I'm posting this literally minutes before I'm off to AnimeFest in Dallas, Texas, and I didn't want to have to wait five days to update.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Itachi examined their current situation grimly, "Brilliant plan you came up with Kisame."

With only seconds having passed, Itachi counted no less than three cuts of varying depth on his own body, and approximately the same had been inflicted on Kisame. It was a position the two were not used to being in.

Szark didn't seem to have a particularly enormous amount of chakra, but his skills and style were on a whole different level than anything the two Nukenin had ever faced.

The old man stood there so innocuously, daring one of them to attack him. The Uchiha was quickly realizing the benefits of wooden swords, the primary being their lack of weight. Despite his skill, Itachi had no doubt that but for his Sharingan, he would have been dead after the first strike.

Szark was at least as fast as him, and far faster than Kisame, but he lacked the ability to block the man's surprisingly deadly wooden sword, which Kisame could by way of Samehada.

So in summary, Itachi concluded, Szark possessed a level of skill approximately equal to that of Kisame and himself combined.

As if suddenly bored by the lack of action, Szark suddenly vanished again, but this time Itachi was prepared. His eye's could just barely keep up with the old man, so he had to dodge again, but he twisted and dove right, so if Szark wanted to close for a second strike, he would have to pincer himself between Itachi and Kisame.

Not appearing overly concerned, the old man did just that.

The Uchiha tried to dodge again, but felt a telltale burn in his leg where the wooden blade cut into his muscle. Shifting his weight to his other foot, Itachi tried to counter attack just as Kisame took advantage of the opening Szark's back left him.

Still wearing that infernal smile, Szark grabbed Itachi's wrist and flung him over Kisame's head while bringing his sword round to parry Samehada, catching the shark man off balance and sending him following Itachi's trajectory with a well placed kick.

"And I had such high expectations for the two of you… Now I'm all disappointed."

Itachi pushed Kisame off him and dragged himself up, "Well, apparently this will require more planning than usual."

Kisame shook his head to clear it, "No shit. I don't suppose you have any brilliant ideas?"

The Uchiha didn't at first, but taking a slow step forward he heard a crunch under his foot, "I might just have a couple… Do you remember what I once called the most useless skill ever?"

(Flashback)

Kisame took his sword and swung it into a tree, barely even scratching the bark, but suddenly all the leaves fell off it and slowly floated to the ground.

Itachi looked at him dully, "So you can create vibrations; who cares? That's the most useless skill I've ever seen."

(End Flashback)

"Yeah…"

"Well, I want you to do it now. That building behind us first and then the street."

"I have no idea what your thinking, but it has to be better than what we've been doing so far."

Taking a couple cautious steps backwards, his eyes still on Szark, Kisame suddenly slammed Samehada into the wall behind him. The shockwave was visible as the whole building shook and the windows shattered in rapid succession starting with those nearest to Kisame.

The cloud of broken glass fell towards the earth and Itachi dashed forward.

Szark watched the Uchiha's movements curiously, but just as he was running to intercept, he felt a small scratch on his face and stopped cold, figuring out the trick, "Clever, Uchiha… Very clever."

Glass continued to fall, and Kisame smashed his sword into the ground, sending a shockwave through the earth this time, the vibrations launching what glass had already hit the ground back into the air. He repeated this every few seconds, keeping the air filled with glass.

Szark let the shards fall over him as he contemplated. The falling glass meant that both he and Itachi would be severely restricted in their motions, because the faster they moved, the more damage they would receive from the glass. Standing still, it was just like having small pebbles and rocks dropped on you, but at high speeds, the tiny chunks of glass would cut as well as any kunai.

Still advancing, Itachi grabbed a couple of the larger pieces and threw them like shuriken, forcing Szark to dodge as fast as he dared. As he felt the sting of another cut on his face, the old man was finally starting to enjoy himself, "Interesting strategy, but all you've done is slow me down. How do you plan on overpowering me?"

Grabbing more of the larger shards, Itachi closed the distance between them.

To an outsider, the exchange of blows that followed would be almost comical, as both combatants moved and attacked exaggeratedly slowly, for fear of crippling themselves.

Hissing as he received a gash on his hand, Szark backpedaled quickly. Both he and Itachi were covered in a great many small cuts, but the sword master figured he was faring slightly better.

About to advance for another skirmish, Szark suddenly looked up for a moment then glanced at Kisame before refocusing on his opponent, "I'm afraid I must cut our game short, fun as it was turning out to be."

Itachi, looking far more haggard than usual, laughed darkly, "And how do you plan on 'cutting it short', you're in almost as bad shape as me, old man"

With a sigh, Szark closed his eyes and simply felt the glass as it fell and the vibrations under his feet as the echoed through the earth, "Your name is Itachi, right? Let me say then, Itachi, that I would most definitely like to fight you again some day."

Opening his eyes once more, Szark threw his sword away to one side of the street. Ignoring the looks of disbelief he was receiving, he smiled disarmingly, "But today you shall learn that talent is no substitute for experience."

He formed a single seal then thrust his right arm into the air, "_Leviathan!_"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

As his mind slowly emerged from its confusion, the first thing he felt was pain. A rather lot of pain.

Kisame forced his eyes open, "What the hell…"

His sight was blurry, but he managed to focus when a long forgotten face appeared in his field of vision, "Seraphim? Why are you here? You should be in the forest somewhere, chasing Naruto and Temari."

"Well for one, I'm keeping a useless chunk of flesh named Kisame alive."

"Where's Itachi? I remember using vibration transfer, but my memory starts to blur… And why am I all wet?"

Reaching down, she grabbed him by the collar and dragged him into a sitting position. Kisame blinked a couple of times as he tried to take everything in. He was still in the street, which was now filled with workers and covered in six inches of water and glass. Itachi was laying face down a few feet away, his back covered in bandages.

"How long was I out!"

Seraphim dropped down next to him, "Thirty or so minutes."

"And where then exactly is your father?"

"Not sure, but he left _right _before I arrived, cause the two of you had just begun to bleed."

"You know, it's strange, because based on how much my side is killing me one would think I should at least remember being injured."

"He used 'it', so your brain probably wasn't able to keep up with what was happening right before you were hit, thus causing mild memory loss"

Kisame laughed, coughing up some blood in the process, "So that was 'it'? This is just perfect… I was witness to one of the greatest legends in mist history and can't remember a damn thing."

"You should just be thankful you're still breathing."

"Yeah, about that, why _am _I alive? I have a hard time believing you bandaged me and Itachi out of pity…"

"Ha! Fuck no. I would have skewered you, but my father likes strong people, and probably wouldn't like my killing someone he went out of his way to leave alive."

Kisame lay back down slowly and grinned, "Nice to see that you're as charming as always ever, Seraph."

"You think flattery will get you anywhere?"

"Not really; but hey, why not give it a shot?"

"I don't suppose you have any idea where my dad might have gone?"

"Hmm… Nope."

The woman leaned forward and rested her head on her knees, "Since he went out of his way to leave right before I arrived, I can assume he's going to do something that I wouldn't approve of."

"Yeah, but there are so many things that fall into that category…"

"How is it possible that you've managed to become _more _immature with the passage of time?"

"Pure talent, babe"

A sound was made a few feet away as Itachi shifted and rolled over, wincing as his back hit ground, "What the hell…"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Naruto and Temari ran across the water, both soaked from falling in a few times each.

"Okay, whose idea was it to run across the ocean?"

Temari smacked him, causing him to fall in again, "It was _your _idea!"

Naruto dragged himself out of the water, running up one side of a wave and down the other, "We need to get to the mainland tonight. Waiting for a ferry wasn't an option."

"But running on water doesn't allow for any rest, a stressful enough situation not even considering that at any given time we don't know how much longer we'll have to go"

"No other options were open to us. Kisame told us to get to the mainland tonight, and I intend to do that no matter what."

_(Flashback)_

Kisame took Naruto off to a corner of the Poohbah's office speaking quietly and quickly, "Now listen here, Szark is way out of your league, and way out of my league, but Itachi and I together have a chance. The most you and Temari can do for us is to lead Seraphim as far away as possible, because if she joins her father we stand no chance at all. No matter whether we win or lose this fight, the Mist will be after you in full force, so escape to the mainland tonight and keep a low profile for a little while."

Naruto balked, "But that would be abandoning you!"

"I told you, Szark could crush you without a second thought, and I have another task for you." He pressed a piece of paper into Naruto's hand, "Three months from now, go to this location, it's where my brother is hiding out. If all goes well, Itachi and I will be waiting for you there. If not, I want you to tell Kiran that I went down fighting and wouldn't have had it any other way."

The implication shook Naruto to his bones, "I…"

Kisame ignored him and calmly walked back to where the others were hurriedly discussing strategy, "Don't think about it, Naruto, just do it."

_(End Flashback)_

A cold wind blew across Naruto's face as he ran across the water, _'I will not fail.'_

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

On the shore far behind them, Szark sat on a cliff.

He supposed that he could have gone after them across the sea, but he was really in no particular rush. Besides, it had been years since he had indulged in a good chase.

He momentarily considered the position his daughter was now in, but dismissed this concern as well. After all, he mused, the experience would build character.

/-/-/-/-/-/13 Days Later/-/-/-/-/-/

Hidden Sand was not anything resembling a thriving metropolis, yet even on the hottest of days, a few people would always be active.

Gaara was one of those people. Not so much because he enjoyed the heat, as because he enjoyed the fact that no one else enjoyed the heat, allowing him to wander the near empty streets.

But the sand boy was troubled on this particular day, and even more troubled because he wasn't exactly sure what was troubling him.

He knew there was nothing at all logical about this feeling, but he couldn't help it. He continued to wander, finding himself at the east edge of the village, looking out over the desert.

It was the wind, he decided. There was only a warm breeze, but it sent foreboding shivers down his spine. "Something…"

He said quietly, as if afraid he might be heard, "Something is going to happen soon"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Many miles farther to the east than Gaara's gaze could reach, just outside a small town whose name was not even known by the sand boy, two people lay huddled in a sleeping bag.

They had done nothing but run, eat and sleep since that fateful day in the country of water. Naruto wasn't sure what it was that was driving him to keep such a brutal pace, but he felt the need to run in his bones. He shifted and poked Temari, waking her.

"Time to go."

Temari yawned, "How long did we sleep?"

"Three hours."

"That's not enough…"

"It will have to be, since we need to leave."

They slept mostly clothed, so once awake; it took the two of them only three minutes to be ready to leave. Naruto flexed his leg muscles to loosen them, "Ready?"

"Yeah."

Sleep deprived and with their muscles burning, they set off again, determined to reach the relative safety of hidden sand.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

As twilight fell, Szark ran his hands over the ground on which Kubikiri Houcho had been laid only a few hours earlier, "Ooh… lucky. I might catch up tomorrow."

Lifting his gaze, he watched the almost unheard of sight of dark clouds gathering in the desert sky and he spoke to the air, "Getting impatient are we?"

A flash of lighting lacerated its way to earth, and in the empty desert, the old man's eyes reflected a deep blue light, "I know… and to tell the truth… I'm exited as well."

The last vestiges of sunlight vanished, immersing the world in darkness.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Sakura navigated her way through piles of bound books, scrolls, and various other knickknacks, "Excuse me, Hanzo-sama. The Hokage sent me to get your report…"

Hanzo emerged from what had moments earlier appeared to be a solid wall of literature. Sakura swore his house must employ some sort of Genjutsu, since he was the only one who could figure out how to get anywhere.

He looked elated, "I may have found it, Sakura-san."

"Found what?"

"I've been refreshing my knowledge of ancient languages, and might have found a clue to the identity of the demon who subdued the village."

He held a scroll out for her to see, which meant absolutely nothing to her, "I'm sorry, but I don't…"

"Oh, wrong scroll, how silly of me to forget," Hanzo said excitedly, "See, this scroll contains information written by a group of people who used to worship demons."

Sakura blanched, "_Worship _demons?"

"Yes, and its not so crazy when you think about it. They served the demons in return for protection and power, and this symbiotic relationship continued for hundreds of years, until a young chief scorned the demon race and the people were wiped out. Now this is mostly irrelevant, but these people kept the best known records of the different demons, along with information about them."

"Then why didn't you check their records before?"

"Oh, the Demon religion existed long after our assailant disappeared from history, but I hoped to find some clues in their records and I did!"

Digging through the pockets of his robes, Hanzo pulled out a second scroll and unfurled it, and this one Sakura could read. Hanzo continued to go on about his discovery, but Sakura had stopped listening in favor of reading the scroll. "Anubis… Keldorn… Raksha… Oh! Here's 'Kyuubi'…," she suddenly pointed to the scroll, "What's this name here? Leviton?"

"Oh, no. There's some dispute among historians how to pronounce that one. He's a water demon who, every few hundred years, terrorizes ships at sea. Although we can never get all the pronunciations perfect because of the language gap, I like to call him Leviathan."


	31. Things Long Forgotten

Sakura shivered at the list of demonic names, just reading them gave her chills, "So people used to worship all these demons?"

"Yes, but that's not what's important. You probably aren't experienced enough to know this, but further down on the scroll there's instructions on how to commune with the demons, and the ritual is almost _exactly _the same as a summoning jutsu."

Sakura was lost, "So that means what exactly?"

"I think that demons and summoning animals are the same thing"

"But then, why would we have two names for them?"

"I'm sorry, Sakura-san, I was being imprecise. I believe they are the same type of creatures with one defining difference. What we call summoning animals become 'demons' when they gain the ability to enter the human dimension without having to be summoned."

"Meaning…?"

Hanzo flicked her forehead, "Of all the things ancient civilizations tried to record, one thing was paramount: Their summoning contracts."

"So we can find those and cross reference them with the descriptions of that chain demon!"

"Don't get so excited, Sakura-san. It's a relatively small discovery, but it gets us one step closer to our goal."

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

She knew perfectly well that he couldn't move; yet Seraphim found herself checking in on Kisame more and more frequently. It was something about the way he looked at her from his prone position in his hospital bed, like he knew some great secret and was keeping it from her just for the sake of his own amusement.

She reached her hand towards the handle of his door, but suddenly retracted it when she heard movement from inside the room. It was an almost silent rustle; easily dismissed as that of shifting blankets, but Seraphim somehow knew was more than that.

Silently promising to pay the hospital back, she kicked in the door with her sword drawn, "Stop whatever you're doing!"

Kisame looked up from his small table, "Hey Seraph. Wanna join me for lunch?"

The shark man looked like he had barely managed to get from his bed to the table at the side of the room, and had a tray of almost edible looking hospital food in front of him.

"I thought you were trying to escape…" She said rather lamely.

Kisame looked pointedly at the door now embedded in the wall across from where it had until recently swung on its hinges, "Hmm, yeah, I noticed. I don't suppose it occurred to you that people very rarely go from mangled to completely healthy over the course of three hours." A sudden thought caused him to amend his previous statement, "Unless we were talking about Naruto, of course."

Seraphim pulled the door from where it had landed and examined it dejectedly, "This is going to cost a lot of money, and I'm not even getting paid for this so-called mission!"

A bite of what Kisame had decided to be plasti-egg vanished into his razor filled maw, "I'd _like_ to say that I've been trying to make this whole ordeal easier for you."

Seraphim rolled her eyes, "Somehow I know how you're going to finish that sentence."

Kisame smirked, "I'd _like_ to say it, but I'd be lying."

Seraphim impulsively dropped into the chair across from Kisame and leaned against the wall, her voice becoming airy with a forced feeling of casualness, "You really don't change, do you, Kisame?"

The man's expression turned wry "Not much, Seraph. I'm pretty much the same as I've always been."

She reached and scooped up some of his mashed potato on her finger, popping it into her mouth, "Bleh they actually feed you this crap?"

"It's not so bad once you get used to it."

"This tastes like sawdust, how could you get used to it?"

Kisame reached under the table and pulled out a bottle, "Just swish this around in your mouth for thirty seconds or so before you eat."

Seraphim blanched, "This is hot sauce… you wouldn't be able to taste _anything _after thirty seconds of swishing this around in your mouth."

"Exactly." He said as he took another bite of the plasti-egg.

"Somehow I don't think I'll ever understand you…"

Kisame continued to eat until his tray was clean of anything resembling food, then lay back in his contentedly "This may seem random, but have you ever regretted teaching me?"

Seraphim blinked. That was random.

"No…"

"Really? Even when I used the skills you taught me to become a nukenin?"

"I trusted you to make the right decision, and so I have always had faith that for you, becoming a nukenin _was _the right decision. Besides, you put fear back into the corrupt government of water country, so hidden mist might be better off this way."

Kisame looked at the ceiling, "Better off, huh?"

/-/-/-/Flashback/-/-/-/

It was the beginning of winter, and there was just a hint of a chill in the air. A light wind blew over a large crowd of people, in which a young Seraphim stood in awe of the stage set up in the center square of the village.

The Mizukage was making a speech of some kind, but she was fully focused on the men who stood behind him. They were a newly established organization that stood above even the ANBU, and embodied the power of their village. They were the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist.

She knew all of their faces, and had even worked with a couple of them on missions, but they now seemed somehow more impressive, as if they became more powerful simply by virtue of now being: 'One of the Seven Swordsmen'.

The Mizukage finished his speech and her father stood up to say a few words, after which there was the obligatory applause and the seven filed off stage.

The crowd started to disperse and Seraphim made her way around to where her father was talking with a couple of the Seven in a small tent. A small group of people (mostly girls) had remained behind in hopes of meeting some of the legendary swordsmen, and so Seraphim stayed near the edge of the group.

Normally she would have gone and joined her father in his discussion, but she didn't want to have to dig through fangirls to get there. Letting her eyes wander, she caught sight of movement near the back of the tent, where it looked like someone had just ducked out.

Lacking anything better to do, she ducked out herself and ran along the outside edge of the tent until she caught sight of a man's back, "Hey you!"

He ignored her, which only spurred her on. "Hey, I'm talking to you! Yes, you!"

Seraphim wasn't able to see the man's eyebrow twitch, but twitching it was, "Go away, woman."

"Hey… You're Hoshigaki… Why are you out here?"

He turned to glare at her, and she got her first good look at his face, "People piss me off, so I'm going to where there aren't any people."

He had now succeeded in pissing _her_ off, "Don't be such a jackass! Next to being Mizukage, you were just given the highest honor available in the hidden mist, so the least you can do is be at least a littlegrateful!"

Kisame now turned fully round to face her, "Grateful? That's a riot, especially coming from you. Don't think I don't know who you are, girlie. You're Szark's little princess daughter who's probably never even been in a real fight, so screw off before I get mad."

Inside the tent, still chatting, Szark felt a disturbingly familiar chakra flare up seconds before explosions were heard.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

That night, Kisame and Seraphim got to share a cell.

She picked up a small chunk of broken concrete and threw it at him, "This is your fault, you know."

"How could this be, in any possible way, my fault? YOU attacked ME."

"You provoked me."

"I provoke people all the time, but most of them don't go crazy and attack me."

Seraphim tried to swing at him, but a pain in her side flared up and she just landed on her face.

Kisame whistled, "Got you good, didn't I?"

She groaned slightly, "I'll admit that you're pretty strong for a fuckwad."

"Your not so bad yourself… for a psychotic bitch."

Managing to get herself seated comfortably against the wall, Seraphim laughed, "I'll take that as a compliment. But really, how did _you _get chosen to be one of the seven?"

"What are you talking about? I got in because I'm strong."

"Maybe, but your strategic skills are barely Genin level." She kicked his ankle for emphasis, and enjoyed watching him flinch.

"You nicked me, so what?"

"There was an opening in your defenses. Your sword skills are near flawless, but you're open to attacks from things like," she kicked his ankle again, "kunai."

"Still, the woman who got her side sliced shouldn't be lecturing me."

"I'm not lecturing, I'm just pointing out that someone as strong as you has such an easily fixable weakness, yet you don't do anything about it."

Kisame waved his hand dismissively, "If it was such an easy weakness to overcome, my teachers would have taught me by now."

Even as Kisame said the words, a seed of doubt had been planted inside him, and Seraphim was having similar thoughts. It was extremely strange for someone like Kisame to have such an obvious chink in his defenses, particularly when all his other skills were off the charts.

The woman continued to consider this conundrum and looked out through the bars into the small cellblock contained in the basement of the police station. The two of them could easily break out of jail if they wanted to, but they stayed inside, in the same way that children go to their room when told, shinobi stay in jail when ordered to so as to acknowledge authority.

She was struck by realization and looked back at Kisame, "Authority…"

The man blinked, "What?"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

The next morning, they were let out of their cell and made a great show of snubbing each other and stomping off in different directions, but that night, they met in a clearing just outside the village wall.

They continued to meet like that every night, and took only a week to discover that Seraphim's darkest suspicions had been correct. It took almost no time at all for Kisame to overcome some of his greatest weaknesses, and he soon fixed all the holes in his defense. They trained to exhaustion every night, and while the purpose was to help Kisame, Seraphim found that her own blade skills were being sharpened as well.

After a month, they progressed from simple combat tactics to small group and large-scale tactics, yet more areas where Kisame was horribly lacking. Contrary to his muscle-man image, he absorbed information like a sponge, progressing faster than almost anyone Seraphim had ever seen.

They went through massively complex theoretical battle situations of all types, and once the strategies were explained, Kisame never once made a mistake.

As they worked more and more, both Seraphim and Kisame had to face what they had first discussed in that cell all those months ago. It was now clear that Kisame's training had been flawed, and not unintentionally.

Seraphim estimated that ever since the age of thirteen, Kisame's teachers had been crippling him by leaving out large portions of training that all shinobi are supposed to have. After four months of the two training together, the cause of this became blindingly obvious.

The higher ups in the village were afraid of him, and with good reason. He had only months ago been the weakest of the seven swordsmen, and on a fresh day near the beginning on spring; he made a declaration before the Mizukage.

Zabuza and Sage, ranked fifth and sixth in strength as far as the seven swordsmen went, were out on missions, so Kisame challenged the other four to face him in combat. The Mizukage figured it would at least make a good spectacle, so he allowed Kisame alone to take on the top four of the seven swordsmen all at once.

It was indeed a spectacle; and a large portion of the village watched as Kisame calmly and methodically obliterated them.

The village council and Mizukage watch in horror as more than ten years of conspiracy were blown away like dust in the wind as the top four shinobi in the village were publicly thrashed.

Szark, who, although not involved, had known about the councils intentional limiting of Kisame's power, felt a sinking feeling in his belly as he watched his daughter smile triumphantly as the battle unfolded.

Over the next few months, Kisame and Seraphim started to spend time together publicly, and whispers started to spread. They seemed like the last two people on earth to become friends, let alone more than friends, but even Szark had to admit that when they weren't trying to kill each other, they got along well.

Many questioned Seraphim's taste, but everyone said it was only a matter of time before the two of them took their relationship to the next level.

Unfortunately, fate had other plans.

It was exactly a year after the formation of the seven swordsmen, and the Mizukage was hosting a dinner in their honor, but this day was especially important for Kisame.

It was a day off for most shinobi, so Seraphim slept until noon, only to be woken up by someone shaking her enthusiastically, "What the… Kisame? What happened to your hands!"

Kisame's hands were wrapped in bandages, but he paid them no mind and moved to one side so he could hold something up for her to see, "It's called Samehada. It was just finished this morning."

Still sleepy, she reached out and poked the strange blade with her finger, "Man, your brother is really something; this looks like one hell of a sword."

"I haven't really tested it out yet, but I can use it to absorb chakra."

"Amazing. Now let me sleep."

Kisame sighed amusedly as Seraphim rolled over in bed and pointedly ignored him, "Fine, then, but I assume you will remember to get up in time to go to the dinner tonight?"

"I won't forget, so let me sleep or I'll hurt you."

Kisame stuck his tongue out at her but grabbed Samehada and made his way over to the door, "You better get in time, or I'm going to tip you out of bed."

He slipped out the door just in time to avoid a thrown pillow and vaulted over her apartment railing on the slightly wet ground below.

Having a brand new sword, Kisame was faced with the constant temptation to try it out on things, and had to fight said temptation constantly as he wandered through the village. Finally deciding that he was going to go crazy if he couldn't smash something, Kisame made his way to one of the jounin training fields.

The field was empty, so Kisame stretched out his arms and lifted Samehada one handed up to shoulder level while keeping his arm fully extended. He could definitely feel the difference in weight from his old sword, and he was going to suck in combat until he could compensate.

He was just about to take his first swing when he heard the grass rustle behind him, "Oi, fish-for-brains, you got a minute?"

"That depends, Zabuza. What do you want me for?"

The devil of the mist shoved his hands in his pockets, "I'm not generally a helpful person, Kisame, but I figure you're the least idiotic of the people around here, so I'm going to give you a little warning."

Kisame shifted his sword from his right hand to his left, "A warning about what?"

"The Mizukage received word of your new sword being finished and immediately called a special council meeting. They're in there right now discussing whether to have you assassinated in your sleep."

There was a dull thumb as Samehada hit the ground, having fallen from Kisame's now limp hand.

Zabuza looked at the fallen sword with mild interest, "Hmm… that new blade of yours does look first rate, I can see why the Mizukage is in a panic. Oh, and of course, if anyone asks, we never had this conversation."

Zabuza's image blurred and he vanished with a 'poof', leaving Kisame alone in the training field. The shark man just stood there, unmoving; his brain devoting all it's power to figuring out what he was supposed to do now.

Even he had never dreamed the council would go so far as to order him killed, but Zabuza had no reason to deceive him and as he thought about it, he really wouldn't put anything past a council that had conspired for years just to keep him weak.

As the day passed, he continued to stand in the same spot, and after almost three hours of no movement, he reached down and grasped Samehada by the hilt, "So they think they can kill me, do they?"

He held the sharkskin blade in the air, and couldn't help but notice that there was no sign of the heaviness from earlier. He smiled then, and his smile slowly widened into the malevolent and slightly manic grin for which he would, from that day on, be famous.

"We'll see who kills who!"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

He arrived to pick her up at the agreed time, but Seraphim couldn't help but feel that there was something wrong with Kisame as they went to the dinner. His eyes seemed cold and distant, like his mind was somewhere else.

They split up at the entrance to the dinning hall since Kisame had to go sit at the table for the seven swordsmen and Seraphim was expected to sit at the head table with her father.

Kisame sat and took in the room; everyone here was a potential enemy, waiting to spear him when he was least expecting…

Poke

He almost jumped out of his chair as he felt a poke in his side and looked down. A small girl was poking him in the side, apparently oblivious to his anxiety. He grabbed her arm and she looked up at him innocently, "Hello, Kisame-sama."

Zabuza sat down on the other side of the little girl, "Don't be a nuisance, Mako."

"Awww… But I wanna play with Kisame-san!"

"You have to be quiet now, but I'll let you swim in the lake after, okay?"

Mako carefully considered her uncle's offer in her unique six-year-old way, "Wai! Swimming!"

The Mizukage stood up and started to talk. In fact, most of what the Mizukage did was talk, to the point where that became his primary skill. This was the type of thing Seraphim pondered as he made his speech.

She glanced at Kisame and a shiver went down her spine. His eyes looked so cold compared to usual, there was none of the fire his eyes usually concealed. She resolved to talk to him about it later and was just about to look away when she heard a sudden grating cough.

The little girl next to Kisame spewed out a stream of milk that engulfed her entire table, and thus, the seven swordsmen of the mist.

Mako coughed a few more times as Zabuza patted her on the back. Once she caught her breath she looked up at the milk drenched swordsmen, "Sorry…"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

From that day on, it felt to Seraphim like Kisame was drifting farther and farther away from humanity. He had always been a loner, but now she was the only one in the village who ever saw him.

He spent the majority of his time practicing with Samehada on the outskirts of the village and would rarely give her more than two or three word responses, when he would talk to her at all.

He sunk deeper and deeper into himself, until the first day of spring, 15 months after they had met, when he told her to meet him in the third training field at midnight.

She approached the pitch-black clearing with a sense of trepidation, not sure what to expect, but Kisame was just standing in the middle of the field casually leaning Samehada against his shoulder.

He looked over to her as she approached and smiled his first real smile in months, "I'm glad you came, Seraph."

"What are you up to, Kisame! I know you, and you're planning something big."

"Don't talk, Seraphim, just listen. Tonight is the last time we're ever likely to see each other, so I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. You've been good to me, and next few days will be hard on you, but as it turns out, all I can say is sorry."

"Hey wait… you can't just say something like that and…" Kisame was gone, and Seraphim was left alone in the field.

The next morning, ANBU broke her door down, "Ikana Seraphim, we are sorry to intrude, but under orders of the Mizukage, we are taking you into custody as the last known person to see Hoshigaki Kisame, who as of 27 minutes ago, is registered as a missing-nin of the hidden mist."

/-/-/-/End Flashback/-/-/-/

Seraphim started to get uneasy as Kisame continued to stare at the ceiling, and was about to call for a nurse when he suddenly broke out of his reverie, "Do you remember what I told you the last time we saw each other in hidden mist?"

"Of course, you said you were sorry."

Kisame lowered his gaze so he was looking at her again, "I hate to say this Seraph, but I need to apologize again."

"For what? You haven't done anything this time. In fact, you've made my father happier than he's been in ages…"

As she was speaking, some part of Seraphim's brain realized something rather significant. Kisame's eyes weren't focused quite as one would expect.

He wasn't looking at her, but past her.

She instinctually pivoted, and realized her mistake nanoseconds too late as she was entranced by two burning red orbs in what was otherwise a suddenly pitch black room.

She collapsed in a heap and Kisame hopped up from his chair, snapping off his casts.

"Thanks, Itachi. Lets roll."

"Did we really have to delay our escape by six days?"

"Yeah, I had some things that I had to ask."

"This woman makes you unusually emotional." Itachi observed coolly.

"That's true," Kisame conceded as he pulled on his shirt, "She makes me act irrationally and go against my better judgment; even to the point of delaying our escape."

He paused to pull on his shoes; "She makes me lose my cool and leaves my emotions in a mess. Put succinctly, she completely screws me up."

Kisame took a moment to admire his now fully clothed form in the mirror, and then strode past the Uchiha towards the doorless door, "And if you're really lucky Itachi, someday you'll meet someone who will do the same for you."

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

They had been running to the point of collapse, but Naruto watched the gathering storm and knew they weren't going to make it. He wasn't sure about exactly what was following them, but he knew they weren't going to escape it.

Or at least, he wasn't.

He grabbed Temari's arm, "Stop."

"What! You almost made me fall!"

"How far are we from hidden sand?"

"About… eight hours, I'd guess."

Naruto looked at the ground, "Eight hours… the only way either of us is going to survive this is if you go on without me."

Temari whacked him upside the head; "I am not leaving you here just so you can be heroic."

"I'm not suggesting it to be heroic! I'm saying it's the only way we are going to survive. With the help of Gaara and some sand-nin, we might stand a chance against what's after me, but not otherwise."

"So then what are you going to do until I get back with help?"

Naruto smiled easily, "I'm going to wait for you."

She grabbed a clump of his hair and kissed him roughly, "You better stay alive!"

"No problem, I promise."

Temari ran into the desert night with a new vigor, and Naruto watched her go with mixed feelings. Even at his most optimistic, he had maybe two hours before whatever it was got to him. It was eight hours to hidden sand, and then another eight back, so he would have to hold his ground for fourteen straight hours.

He collapsed on his back and looked up at the moon.

"I'll try to keep my promise Temari," he covered his eyes with one hand, "I'll try with everything I have, but…"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

An hour and ten minutes later, Temari passed through another village and decided she had to eat something. As much as she wanted to keep running, she knew she would collapse without sustenance.

The first thing she saw was a ramen stand, so she stumbled in and demanded a bowl of pork ramen as fast as it could be made. She lay her head on the counter and looked hazily at the man next to her, "Hey…mister… what's this place called?"

"What?"

"This town, what's it called?"

"It's called Ocean, but are you alright?"

Temari laughed semi-deliriously, "Ha! A place in the desert called ocean… but I need to remember: an hour south of ocean… an hour south of ocean… an hour south of ocean."

The man rubbed his head, "Miss, I really think you should go to a hospital or something."

Her pork ramen arrived and Temari grabbed the bowl and left the stand.

The owner looked stunned, "Hey! That's my bowl! And you didn't pay for the ramen!"

Temari looked back, "Charge it to hidden sand!"

At the other end of the ramen bar, a man sat perplexed as Temari ran off.

Had she really not recognized him? Was she playing dumb as part of some plan? Was she on some kind of drug?

The more he thought, the more confused he got, but he figured he had one clue.

"An hour south, huh?"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Naruto opened his eyes and sat up, "How long have you been there?"

Fifty feet away, Szark smiled, "Oh, just a couple minutes."

"Awfully considerate of you to let me sleep."

"I came all this way to fight you, Naruto-kun, not kill you," he smiled wider, "though I can't promise I won't."

Naruto stood up and reached into his mind, "_Alright, bastard fox. If there was ever a time to fight your hardest, this is it!_"

To his surprise, the response was both immediate and strong, **_"I WILL."_**

The fox seemed really riled up; the last time Naruto remembered him being this energetic was when he fought Gaara.

His hand suddenly clenched around Seirei Kirite's handle, "Impossible…"

Szark threw his staff to one side and formed a single seal; "I hope you won't mind, Naruto-kun, if I start off at full power. And by full power, I of course mean," his eyes suddenly narrowed, "_LEVIATHAN!_"

Chakra exploded outward and Szark watched as Naruto struggled to fight against the waves of blue energy with disappointment, "I may have vastly overestimated you, Naruto-kun, if you can't even stand up to a little raw chakra."

With a sigh of annoyance, Szark drew a kunai and vanished in a blur, appearing behind the boy and driving it towards his skull. The old man was more than surprised to hear the clang of metal on metal.

The old man was suddenly blown back and dug his feet into the sand as a vortex of crimson chakra consumed the boy.

Naruto looked at him with unholy fire in his eyes, "DON"T FUCK WITH ME, OLD MAN! There's no way Itachi and Kisame would have lost to that kind of pathetic strength."

Szark looked delighted, "Wonderful, Naruto-kun! This will be even more fun than I imagined."

The boy's voice had a demonic edge to it, "I suppose _now _you're going to show me your 'full power'?"

"Hardly. I wouldn't be much of a shinobi unless I kept a few tricks in reserve, but then again, I'm not much of a swordsman without a sword, now am I?"

Saying this, he rolled up his right sleeve, revealing a complex tattoo that the blue chakra seemed to condense on. The tattoo suddenly glowed bright red and there was a poof of smoke, which blew away almost immediately to reveal the largest sword Naruto had ever seen.

His response was therefore appropriate, "Damn… that's a big sword."

"It's called Gyakuryuu, and I haven't used it in combat for seven years now, so this is quite an event for me."

"You didn't use that thing on Itachi and Kisame?"

"I didn't need to. Whether you intended to or not, Naruto-kun, you have chosen the perfect battlefield to face me on."

"How do you mean?"

"Leviathan can control water, so with his help it's easy to surround my feet with an inch thick bubble that allows me to move at three or four times my normal speed, but here…"

Naruto grinned, "No water… and any you did accumulate on your feet would be sucked up by the sand."

"So it would appear," Szark said as he hefted the massive bastard sword, "that our speeds are now almost even."

Naruto knew he was still slower, but now had built up some confidence. Szark was not invincible, and from the way the blue and red chakra vortexes were pushing against each other, the old man was about even with him in chakra capacity as well.

Unfortunately, the boy knew he was vastly inferior with regards to technique, so if he was going to hold out, he would have to attack hard, fast, and when Szark was least expecting it. If fact, with the old man's eyes closed and him looking rather out of it, right then seemed like a pretty good time.

He burst forward and adjusted his hand grip for an upwards cross cut.

Szark opened one eye, "Foolish."

He brought the massive blade to bear faster than Naruto would have though possible, so fast in fact, that Naruto could barely follow its trail. He was only more confused though, once he did see its trail.

Even with its size, the sword was moving so fast it was going to complete its swing before he was in the strike zone; in other words, it was going to miss him. Naruto enjoyed a moment of bliss before he realized that an opponent of this caliber wasn't likely to make such a mistake.

Szark's single open eye narrowed to a slit and pulsed with dark light, "Kamaitachi!"

Unable to even think of evasion, Naruto ran headlong into the shockwave and was sent hurling backwards, slamming into a sand dune with a dull crunch.

Naruto pulled himself out of the sand, "Well, that wasn't a very good idea… and with a name like Gyakuryuu… I wasn't even thinking."

Szark smiled amiably again, "To define it, Gyakuryuu is a stretch of turbulent water in a river or the sea caused by one current flowing into or across another current."

"In other words," Naruto coughed and spit out some blood, "a Riptide."

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Author's Notes:

Well, AnimeFest was a blast, although I was so tired that I pretty much slept through school last week.

'Dorklotus' included a pancake recipe in his review for the previous chapter. I just happened to read that particular review on Saturday morning, and having nothing better to do, made pancakes. They were quite tasty.

I also received an email with a great picture from 'Reighost', can be found at

htt p/groups .msn .com/NarutoMangaReturns/picturegirlalbum.msnw?action(equalsign)ShowPhoto&PhotoID(equalsign)11924

(Link fixed. Obviously, remove the spaces and make the equalsign's into actual equal signs)

/-/-/-/First Omake/-/-/-/

The Specs of Gyakuryuu (Riptide)

A twelve-foot bastard sword, having an eight-foot blade and four-foot handle, Gyakuryuu stands as the largest weapon in my Narutoverse.

Bastard swords are designed and weighted to be usable with one or two hands (Primarily with two), a fact that shouldn't change as you increase the size, making them extremely versatile as far as swords go. They have straight double-edged blades and are a kinf of hybrod between a long swrod and two-handed sword. Initialy, I mistakenly refered to bastard sword as as being another name for long sword, which, after further research, I have discovered is untrue. (Today we learn that Wikipedia is not always right)

Gyakuryuu gets its name from the fact that if swung at a specific angle and with sufficient velocity, a vacuum is created directly behind the blade, which in turn creates powerful and turbulent winds.

Designed to catch its victims off guard, Gyakuryuu is a weapon to be feared.

/-/-/-/Second Omake/-/-/-/

This is actually how I first wrote this scene, but I realized as soon as I was finished that it was way to silly:

Saying this, he rolled up his right sleeve, revealing a complex tattoo that the blue chakra seemed to condense on. The tattoo suddenly glowed bright red and there was a poof of smoke, which blew away almost immediately to reveal the largest sword Naruto had ever seen.

His response was therefore appropriate, "Damn… that's a big sword."

"It's called Gyakuryuu, and I haven't used it in combat for seven years now, so this is quite an event for me…"

"But seriously," Naruto said blankly, "that's a REALLY big sword… how do you even swing it?"

Szark's eyebrow twitched, "As I was saying: Few have ever seen its blade, let alone had the honor of facing it in comba…"

"I mean…" Naruto interrupted, "It's just so big! Seirei Kirite is a pretty good size, but that thing is just excessive! I see why you keep it sealed, because I sure wouldn't want to walk down the street carrying that thing. It's huge… like, Godzilla sized… or maybe it's the Megazord sword from power rangers."

Szark's patience snapped, "STOP TALKING OVER ME!"


	32. Interlude: The Dark Secret Meeting Room

Author's Note:

Sigh... One of my three hard drives died two days ago. It was my main drive, so my computer is pretty much out of commision until I figure out how to fix it. This, of course, means that everything I've ever written is probably gone (not including what's been posted, of course), but there is still hope. I 'm going to try and fix my drive for a couple more days, and if that doesn't work, I'll just have to re-write the last chapter. Either way, as a hold-over until then, here's something I wrote in wordpad (sorry, no spell check) on the computer at school during my spare. I realized that the final chapter didn't adequately address what happened to Sasuke and Kabuto, so this one is devoted entirely to them. Might be a while before the last chapter is posted, but I'll do my best since I know it sucks to leave a story just one chapter away from completion.

This side chapter is out of continuity with the rest of the story, but it takes place somewhere in the 16 days between when Naruto and Temari left wave country and when Szark caught up with them.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Sasuke and Kabuto sat on the side of a hill, looking dejectedly at their surroundings.

The medic-nin pushed his glasses up his nose, "So even after all our hard work, we find ourselves unable to proceed… how vexing."

"We'll find the entrance soon, all it takes is a little patience."

"Maybe Itachi got the location wrong… it might be on the other side of the hill."

"It's worth a look, I guess."

Pushing themselves up, the two made their way around mound of rock and dirt..

Not a minute later, the ground where they had been sitting opened up, and Deidara walked tentatively into the sunlight, "Damn...it's so bright out here. I'm going to kill Sasori for making me look for him."

Mumbling curses, Deidara headed off towards the nearby village in search of the puppet user as the secret door closed silently, leaving no trace of it's presence.

Sasuke and Kabuto returned to their original spot even more discouraged, and Sasuke was fighting the urge to start throwing around some fire justus, "There was no sign of anything on the other side, and I doubt Itachi would make a mistake like that anyway, but I still don't see a door here."

"Well, if we wait here, someone will have to use the door eventually, and we'll be here when they do."

/-/-/-/-/30 seconds later/-/-/-/-/

"I'm boooooooooored."

"Shut up, Kabuto."

"Here's an idea. How about we just blow up the hill!"

"Allow me to rephrase: Shut up or I'll gut you."

"I think Sasuke-sama needs to lighten up a bit. Afterall, Sasuke-sama, it can't be fun to be that uptight all the time. I like Sasuke-sama best when Sasuke-sama is optimistic and positive."

"Oh for the love of... Don't start that again!"

"Don't start what?"

"Don't call me Sasuke-sama!"

"Why, Sasuke-sa..."

Sasuke dove at him, and had just managed to get his hands around the scrawny medic-nin's neck when they heard a twig snap. Sasuke shoved Kabuto into a bush and dove in after him, putting them in a position that would have been awkward if they weren't so on edge.

Deidara stomped up the hill, dragging Sasori behind her, "We're an hour late for the fucking meeting! Where have you been all this time!"

The massive figure that was Sasori held a plastic bag filled with boxes, "I was shopping, and the store was having a special today. The first 600 in line got a free special edition Goku."

"Dragon Ball Z action figures are not as important as top secret Akatsuki meetings!"

"That's just your opinion."

"No, it's the way things are!"

In the bush, Kabuto and Sasuke watched the two Akatsuki pass by, then walk into the gaping hole that suddenly opened in the earth. As soon as the eart closed, they jumped up and ran to examine where there had just been a opening.

Sasuke whistled softly, "The seam is perfect... Even my sharigan can't tell there's a door here."

Kabuto's leg hit something and he bent down to pick it up, "Hey... That guy dropped one of his figures."

"Really?" Sasuke said semi-interestedly, "Which one?"

"It's a special edition Goku figure."

Sasuke's brain made the connection just as the earth opened up again, "Oh crap..."

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Five sat in a dark room.

One might question why the Akatsuki always felt the need to hold their secret meetings in dark rooms. After all, it wasn't like they didn't all know each other, and they were fifty feet underground, but the leader thought the dark made the secret meetings seem more secret.

Unfortunately, two members had yet to appear, so right now they were just five people who were feeling rather silly sitting in a dark room.

It was then that Deidara burst into the room, "We have a problem!"

Garm, head of the Akatsuki, looked up sharply, "Report!"

"I was returning with Sasori from the village and we saw these two guys feeling each other up in a bush but ignored them cause we wanted to get back but once we got inside Sasori noticed that his Special Edition Goku figure was missing and he went back outside and saw the two guys with his figure and thought they stole it even though they really just found it on the ground and it also turns out that they have Akatsuki cloaks and weren't just two guys feeling each other up in a bush because I'm pretty sure one of them is an Uchiha but Sasori is trying to kill them while raving about people stealing his Goku action figures."

The other two teams were looking at Deidara strangely, and Garm was fighting off an impending migraine.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Once Sasori had been calmed down and his figure returned to him, Sasuke and Kabuto had to face the Akatsuki.

The Uchiha scanned the room, "Why is it so dark in here?"

Garm coughed into his hand, "Thats not important. I have recieved word that the mission assigned to Kisame and Itachi was successful, but you must explain to me how you did it."

"Well," Sasuke began, "I knew that there was no way we could get into the marks house without setting off any traps, so I had to modify a special genjutsu. Kabuto and I advanced into the grounds and the alarms went off, which we expected. We managed to evade the guards for quite a while, but when they did catch us, it was my turn to use my new jutsu."

/-/-/-/Flashback/-/-/-/

A group of four guards cornered them in the hallway, "Stop!"

Sasuke looked on calmly and waved his hand, "Don't worry, we're not the intruders you're looking for."

The guards eyes glazed over and one turned to the others, "These aren't the intruders we're looking for."

Sasuke waved his hand again, "You're beggining to suspect this alarm is just a diversion so the lady of the house can kill her husband."

Another guard nodded sagely to his companions, "I'm beggining to suspect this alarm is just a diversion so the mistress can kill her husband."

The hand was waved a third time, "The rest of you agree."

The other three guards nodded, "We agree."

One final wave of the hand, "You never saw us here."

Sasuke and Kabuto ran down the hall and around the corner as the guards nodded in unison, "We never saw you here."

The first guards blinked at his companions, "What were we talking about, again?"

/-/-/-/End Flashback/-/-/-/

"After that," Sasuke continued, "It was just a matter of repeating the process a couple times, then finding the wife of the house and putting a genjutsu on her so she thought her husband was an evil space alien trying to suck out her brain. He dies, we escape, wife takes the blame. Badda Bing, Badda Boom, Badda Bang."

Garm stroked his chin in that way that only evil geniuses do, "Hmm... Not a bad mission result, and Itachi endorsed you, so I'll let you join for now. If you want to stay members, I expect a 100 percentmission success rate. We were going to have a meeting about how to replace the AWOL team 1, but now we have replacements. Since Deidara and Sasori made us all wait for an hour to start a meeting which we now don't need to have, they get to be the lucky ones to show our newest members around the compound. Dismissed."

Everyone filed out of the 'dark secret meeting room' and Sasuke and Kabuto, having no idea where to go, just waited for Deidara and Sasori to start their tour. The blond just stomped past them, while Sasori hung back so as to follow them. And so their little procesion made it's way through the twisting halls until the reached a door.

"This," Deidara said, kicking open the door, "is the cloak room. Here we have all the Akatsuki cloaks you could ever want. You guys might want to change yours."

Kabuto decided he just might do that, but Sasuke shook his head, "No thanks, I'll keep this one."

Sasori looked down, "Strange... Your brother used to say the same thing. He was the only one of us who never changed his cloak."

"Really? Him and I do have our similarities, I suppose."

Deidara snapped on a new cloak, "Similarities? Listen, kid, if you were taller, ate pocky all the time, and were a bit more of a jackass, I wouldn't be able to tell the two of you appart. Now lets move on to the next room!"

Sasori being the closest to the door, led them down the hall to another door, which he slid open, "Here we have the cool hat room, which has both regular hats and hats with little white dangly things, which make you look more mysterious, but also make it kind of hard to see."

Kabuto looked like he was in heaven, and went straight for the white-dangly-thing hats, throwing one on, "Being able to see is a small price to pay for looking this good."

Deidara nodded, "Finally, someone who understands the importance of cool hats! Sasori always says they're stupid."

Ignoring the room of hats, Sasuke looked curiously up at the sand nin, "That's a puppet, right?"

"Yeah."

"So, to really make eye contact with you, I'd have to look at your chest or neck?"

"I suppose..."

"Doesn't it feel wierd to have people always looking above your eye level when talking to you?"

In all Sasori's years of living inside a puppet, it had never bothered him. Until that moment.

"No," He said semi-convincingly.

Sasuke just shrugged, "Whatever you say."

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Their tour continued on for another hour, and the last thing they were shown was what would be their room. They had bunk beds.

As the two older Akatsuki were just about to leave, Sasuke grabbed Sasori's arm and gestured for him to stay. Once Deidara was gone, the Uchiha closed the door and fought down his nervousness, "Now I understand this may be a strange question, Sasori-san, but I need to ask. Your partner, Deidara... We've spent the last hour together, but I can't for the life of me tell if Deidara is a guy or a girl."

Kabuto sighed, "Even for a medic nin like me... I couldn't tell at all."

Sasori made his way over to a large stool at sat down, "What you have just asked is a question that has plagued me for years now. It doesn't matter which gender I use when refering to him, she never makes any effort to correct me. I've just gotten into the habit of switching genders with every pronoun. Deidara's gender is a mystery to everyone as far as I know. Garm might have figured it out, since he gives physical examinations to everyone when they join, but he's not telling anyone."

Sasuke looked nervous, "Physical examinations? Like testing for torture resistance and stuff?"

"No, like a 'stick out your tongue and say ahhh' kind of physical examination. He likes to know the bodies of his subordinates so he knows their weaknesses if they ever revolt."

"Still... how can you share a room with someone and not know what gender they are?"

"Many would ask how Deidara can stand to room with a guy who lives in a puppet."

Kabuto stretched out on his bed, "Touche."

Sasori rose and made his way to the door, "You can try to spy on Deidara in the shower if you want, but no one has ever managed to see him naked. If you do try to peep on her though, remember to get some sleep. You'll work hard tommorow."

Sasuke climbed up onto his bunk, "Thank you for the tour."

The sand nin let out a laugh as he walked out the door, "Welcome to the Akatsuki. I'll be interested to see if you runts survive your first assigned mission."

The door closed behind him and the Uchiha looked up at the ceiling with a smirk, _You bet your big puppet ass we will._


	33. Promises Kept

Author's Notes:

I know it's been freaking forever, and I really didn't want to make everyone wait for the last chapter, but a number of factors contributed to the delay.

A brief summary would be: One of my hard drives got messed up, so I went and bought a new 300 gig drive and copied all the files I wanted to it, then formatted (completely erased) my old drives to clear off all the crap. I was happy as a clam for two whole days, then it turned out that my new drive had a small defect, and by small defect I mean it crashed. Now a _real _hard drive crash is when the write head hits a platter, and a good analogy for what then happens to the drive would be that its like taking a power sander to a CD.

So in less than 3 seconds, I lost more than 200 gigabytes of data that I had collected over two years. I returned the defective drive and got a new one, but at this point it had already been a couple weeks since my last update, and I had just lost all the original files for all the writting I had ever done, including the final chapter, so I kind of fell into a funk for 10 days or so and didn't do any writting at all.

Having brought my machine back to life from the ashes of it's demise and gotten things somewhat back to normal, I decided it was time to stop sulking and get to re-writting the last chapter, and so two weeks later, here we are.

Being the final chapter, and since you have all waited so patiently, this one is way longer than usual (and nearly twice as long as it was when I wrote it the first time).

In other news, Never Cut Twice got nominated for a Naruto Fanfiction Award in the Humor/Parody category. Awards are given based on votes, and voting is open from December 2nd to Febuary 28th. The Awards are hosted by narutofic(dot)net, so go check out the site sometime.

There might be an epilogue at some point, though don't hold your breath.

Most of my effort is going to now be channeled into Consanguinity, which you should check out if you haven't yet. Some people might be put of by it being AU or by Sasuke being a main character (I know a lot of people don't like him), but you may find yourself suprised if you give it a try.

I'm writting the author's notes last, so these are the words that are going to end a story I started six months, 33 chapters, and a few hundred plot-holes ago. I'm a little sad about my first forray into the fanfiction world comming to an end, but I have way too many other projects going to reflect on it too much.

I've had a blast writting this, and hope you've enjoyed reading it, but I think thats enough pseudo-blogging from me, so on to actual story!

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Szark watched Naruto with something akin to amusement as the boy circled him slowly. Szark had thwarted numerous attack runs, all using the Kamaitachi, and Naruto just kept getting blasted back.

The old man walked sideways over the sand, keeping in rhythm with Naruto's circling, "Do you know what the problem is with shinobi today, Naruto-kun?"

The boy was focusing his attention on regenerating a part of his arm that had been slashed, but wasn't going to waste an oppurtunity to stall for time, "No, what?"

"None of the young people today have any respect for power, since none of them had to earn it. All the kiddies rely on their blood limits these days, or in your case, a demon."

Naruto glanced at his arm; it was 40 percent healed, "What about you then? You use demonic energy too, and even have a tenken."

"Wrong, Naruto-kun. I worked harder than anyone growing up. When other students in my dojo trained five hours, I trained ten. At sixteen, I designed and hand forged Gyakuryuu, which by the way isn't a tenken, but an ordinary sword that uses some simple principles of physics. By twenty I had designed a new type of summoning tattoo so I would always have my sword on hand."

The boy looked again at his arm; which was now almost fully healed, "So what?"

"When I was thirty one, I was an elite guard for a merchant ship. Our vessel was attacked by a sea demon, and I beat the bastard with nothing more than a sword and my wits."

Naruto paused for a moment, "I guess I have to give you that one. Beating a demon is pretty damned impressive, but that was a long time ago and the world has changed."

"Oh really? If you think you can beat me using your borrowed power, I dare you to try!"

Naruto gritted his teeth in frustration. His arm was healed, but Szark was holding back, obviously mocking him. None of his usual strategies were going to work, since he had to assume that with his experience, Szark knew everything Kisame had taught him and most of the things Itachi had taught him. Naruto supposed that the old man's comments about borrowed power might not have been that far off, since to win he would have to improvise.

He ran through a mental list of all the jutsus he knew, and something resembling an idea started to form.

Szark had been using the Kamaitachi almost exclusively so far, and that wasn't likely to last, but if Naruto could strike while the old man was still overconfident, he might have a chance.

The boy took a moment to pull off his shoes while the old man whistled carelessly, and he tossed the boots to one side, digging his feet into the sand and ensuring he had good traction.

"Alright, geezer, get ready to eat your words!"

Szark yawned dismissively as Naruto started what appeared to be another blind frontal assault.

"Alright then, Naruto-kun, lets kick it up a notch!" Gyakuryuu cut through the air, "Daikamaitachi!"

A cloud of sand was kicked up as the wind tore across the desert, but Szark didn't hear an impact, implying Naruto had evaded the blast. The old man surveyed the empty landscape, but there was no sign of the boy.

Then he heard it.

It was an almost inaudible high pitched whine, and it set his teeth on edge.

Sword clones burst from the dust cloud and closed on him from all directions. Szark counted 4...6...8...9 swords total.

_Interesting, _the old man thought, _he replicates his thrown sword and the demons chakra allows their flight to be controlled. _

Szark started to rotate Gyakuryuu over his head, passing the blade from hand to hand as it steadily built up momentum. Once it was up to speed, he twisted the sword about his body like a baton twirler. The wind created kicked up sand, forming a miniature sandstorm surrounding him.

The first of the Seirei Kirite clones was vaporized upon contact with this cyclonic barrier of wind and chakra, to be quickly followed by the second, third, forth, and fifth sword clones. As his attention shifted to the sixth blade, he felt the sands beneath him shift. Just as the sixth clone was banished, a hand burst from the desert and Szark was faced with an orb of chakra being propelled towards his nose.

The old man brought Gyakuryuu down and obliterated the kage bunshin, dissolving the rasengan, but in doing so he embedded half Gyakuryuu's blade in the sand. With three spinning blades bearing down on him, his sword was immobilized.

_Very well done, Naruto... Very well done indeed._

He slammed his left hand into the desert, "Kuchiyose no Jutsu!"

The final three sword clones vanished with a muted poof and Naruto, hiding in a dune a few hundred feet away, felt a cold feeling settle in his belly as a massive cloud of smoke filled his vision. The smoke cleared slowly, and a massive serpentine form lifted it's head into the desert sky.

Naruto had faced Orochimaru's giant serpents, but even Manda paled when compared to the monster that was now fixating it's gaze on his hiding spot.

"**What is this, Szark? Have you become so weak that even with my chakra, you cannot defeat a child?"**

"Oh, shut up, Leviathan. It's not like you had anything better to do today."

"**I'll have you know that I was in the middle of a very nice dream about mermaids. You interrupted my mermaid dream."**

"You can dream about mermaids any day, but how often do you get to face another of your own kind?"

"**Have you gone senile, old man? We're in a fucking desert. How many sea serpents do you know who hang out in deserts? All I see is a brat hiding in a pile of sand."**

"Not a sea serpent you dumbass, a demon."

"**The brat hiding in the pile of sand is a demon? Generally, I expect demons to be more than five feet tall, and scarier than mozzarella cheese, and I have seen cheese _way_ scarier than that runt."**

Naruto, despite the immediate threat to his life, wanted to correct the demon by saying that he was at least five and a half feet tall, but decided he would have to restrain himslf to take full advantage of the bickering going on between Szark and Leviathan.

"_Hey, bastard fox, got any ideas?"_

"_**I have one, but..."**_

"_Yeah, I was thinking that too, but theres a pretty good chance that I'll die in the process, so I 'm really not a fan of that strategy."_

"_**Well, fighting as you are now guarantees that you'll die. Szark may have become a softie in his old age, but Leviathan will kill you without a second thought. Or even a first thought, for that matter."**_

"_So I have no choice then?"_

"_**Not really. Unless you want to fall on your knees and beg for forgiveness, which is always an option."**_

Naruto looked up, "Alright then, here goes nothing..."

There were 37 seals to this jutsu, and he remembered them as well as the day he had first used it.

By the time Szark noticed that Naruto was actually doing something, 15 seals had been completed.

By the time Szark managed to point it out to Leviathan that Naruto was actually doing something, 30 seals had been completed.

The serpent snapped forward, intending to finish the boy with one bite, but the final seal had been completed. Naruto streaked a line of blood across his belly, "Shikifuujin KAI!"

His final thought was:_ Shit... I'd forgotten how much this hurt._

**/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/**

Skimming across the sands, Temari was making excellent time. She had made it to the village in seven hours, and with just a ten minute turn around, she was now moving at high speed on a platform of sand along with Gaara and a squad of sand ANBU.

A trip which she had originally thought would take sixteen hours was going to be completed in just a little more than half that, but she was still anxious about what they might find.

They were still a great many miles away, but Gaara suddenly poked her in the shoulder, "Look."

She did, and was almost blinded by the light. Though still far in the distance, a section of desert was reflecting light like a mirror, blinding anyone who looked directly at it.

"Go faster!" Temari said suddenly, "Go FASTER!"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

When they finally arrived, Gaara lowered his sand platform and everyone disembarked, moving like zombies. The ANBU commander couldn't keep a stutter out of his voice, "Impossible... not even..."

He looked at Gaara fearfully, but the sand boy shook his head, "No, even I couldn't do a thing like this."

Right in the middle of the desert, there was a square mile of glass.

Temari just stared, ignoring the others, because she knew exactly the kind of power that would be needed for something like this, and the only way that power could have been released.

"Naruto did it... That bastard broke the seal!"

The ANBU leader looked at her skeptically, "Highly unlikely, Temari-sama. Humans cant handle a third this much chakra. Anyone who ran this kind of energy through their body would be completely incinerated from the inside out."

Resisting the urge to squish the ANBU leader, Gaara grabbed hold of his sister's arm, "Listen to me Temari, you have to explain everything thats happened."

She shook him off, "It doesn't matter if he's dead, Gaara."

"We don't know that..."

"What the hell are you talking about? The sand was liquefied for a quarter mile in every direction and all that power came from inside Naruto. Not even he could survive that."

Gaara didn't know what to say. He wanted to believe in Naruto's invincibility, but he would be deluding himself. He looked to the ANBU, "Search the area for this Szark. If he is found I want him brought to hidden sand immediately. I'm going to take Temari back now, the rest of you can run."

Grabbing Temari's arm again, he directed her away from the ANBU then lifted the two of them off the ground, heading back to hidden sand as fast as possible.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Naruto smelled something.

It was a unique smell, there wasn't another like it in the world, and it was one that hadn't tickled his nose for a very long time. He couldn't see anything, and wondered if his nose might be deceiving him, but his nose had never been wrong before.

"I smell instant ramen... pork variety... with chicken stock used instead of water, a little soy sauce added, chives, paprika, horseradish, and a dollop of sour cream on top."

"It's almost done. I hadn't planned on your coming around so fast."

The voice was muffled, but Naruto would know that voice if he was hearing it under water, "Iruka-sensei... this is a surprise. It must be my unlucky day."

"Hardly. You should be dead right now."

It occurred to Naruto that the last thing he remembered doing was unsealing the demonic chakra in his stomach, "Maybe you have a point there... How did my fight with Szark end up, anyway?"

"I can't say I even know who your talking about. I just found you in a field of viscus liquid sand suffering from whats honestly the worst case of chakra burns I've ever seen."

"Weird... Nothing on my body hurts."

"That's because your body was so badly damaged that you don't have any feeling in most of it"

"Then why can I hear, smell and talk?"

"There are virtually no chakra pathways in your ears, tongue and nose."

"Hm, I didn't know that... Is the ramen done yet?"

"Not quite. Your sight should be coming back pretty quickly, and the rest of your body should regain feeling within an hour or so."

"Cool. What have you been up to recently?"

"Pretty much just hunting you, actually. I headed for hidden sand right after the mess in Konoha, and have been traveling around the country of wind ever since. I figured out that there are only three main towns directly between the borders of wind country and hidden sand, so I've been patrolling from one to another in hopes of running across your trail."

"You people never give up, do you?"

"The village did, I didn't. I've been using my vacation time to go after you, if Tsunade found out, she'd have my hide."

"So how did you find me anyway?"

"I saw Temari in Ocean an hour north, she was all rattled up and mumbling directions. I followed them, and found you."

"Wait... how long was I out?"

"Half a day, so eleven or twelve hours."

"Phew... I still have another couple hours. How far are we from where you found me?"

"Just an hour. We're in Ocean again, and I just found an abandoned warehouse and set up a camp stove."

Naruto suddenly noticed that he was able to see blurs now, and turned his head to look at the blur that was Iruka, "An excellent segue to my next statement. Is the ramen done yet?"

"Yes, actually. Pork Ramen with chicken stock instead of water, a little soy sauce, chives, paprika, horseradish, and a dollop of sour cream on top. Just the way you like it."

"Wait... making my favorite kind of ramen... you want something from me, don't you?"

"Well, I'd like you to renounce everything you've done, come back to the village, apologize to the Hokage and pay your debt to society."

"..."

"Or, you could think of this as a ramen to celebrate the fact that you haven't gotten yourself killed yet."

"You know, Iruka, I don't remember you being this cynical."

"Things have changed a little since the last time we met."

"Thats true, at least."

His sight now good enough to distinguish his hand from his body, he held out his arm as Iruka-blob held out ramen-blob. Naruto slowly closed his hand around the object he couldn't feel, "Do I have it yet?"

"A bit more... there!"

Now holding the cup of ramen, Naruto just tilted his head back and drank the whole thing, "Ahhh... that was good."

"You do realize that I spent nearly ten minutes making that for you."

"I was hungry, and I really can't use chopsticks right now."

"Are you seeing better?"

"A little, still just shapes, though."

Though Naruto couldn't see it, Iruka took off his mask and dug around in his pocket for a cigarette, lighting it on his camp stove, "You know something, Naruto? I've spent more time than I want to admit thinking about what I was going to say to you when I finally found you, but now that I'm here, none of it seems appropriate."

"We've talked a thousand times, so why would you need to plan it this time?"

"Put like that, I have to admit it was pretty stupid of me."

"I'm not going far for a while, so tell me whats going on in Konoha."

Iruka blew a cloud of smoke into the air, "You mean apart from all the madness that you caused?"

"I deserve that, but Itachi wasn't about to let his brother get killed, and the only time anyone got hurt is when you attacked us."

"I don't understand you... Sasuke broke the law. Not only that, his leaving was the catalyst that made you run away."

"Yes, Sasuke broke the law, but the law is wrong. And yes, his leaving was one of the factors that drove me to run away, but running away turned out really well for me."

"How can you enjoy living this way? Spending every day afraid?"

"Afraid? Who am I supposed to be afraid of, you? The other leaf hunters? You're sent on missions by superiors, sometimes those missions will almost assuredly end in death, but you are forced to do it anyway. I, on the other hand, do only missions I want to. Why should _I_ be afraid?"

"It's frightening to be alone, though. As a nukenin, you don't have a village to support you when you're in trouble."

"Ah, your logic fails again. Sasuke was a nukenin, and when he was in trouble other nukenins supported him. Not only that, his few supporters took on your entire village and won by a landslide."

Iruka didn't like all the weaknesses in his argument, "Do you really like being a nukenin that much? You never miss anything about Konoha?"

"I used to be a lot more polarized about it, but I've come to accept that there are a lot of people in the village I hate, but there are as many that I'm indifferent to and a few I actually like. The thing is that I'm not willing to put up with the people I hate just to be in the presence of a few people I like."

"I still can't see that being a good enough reason to just abandon your village."

"Iruka, you and I agree on a lot of things, but not this, so lets just not talk about this, ok? I originally asked you how things were in Konoha."

"Really, they're pretty much the same. Neji trains constantly in hopes of beating you some day, Chouji eats a lot, Shikamaru whines, etc, etc, etc."

"There must be something."

Iruka blew another cloud of smoke into the air, "Well, I was only there for a little while, but after you and your demon pal tore up the city, Sakura started spending all her spare time in the archives. It took her a day and a half to learn more about Demonology than any other shinobi in the village save Hanzo himself, and she shows no signs of slowing."

"I really didn't want to hear about her, you know. In fact, I would have rather you talked about that ugly old fruit stand lady who used to make me pay five times market price than talk about Sakura."

"You really have some issues with her."

Naruto reflected for a moment, "Maybe a couple."

"You didn't part on very good terms, but of everyone in Konoha, she's spent more time thinking and worrying about you than anyone else."

"That won't work, I've perfected the art of apathy. Nothing you say can make me care."

"Sakura was depressed for weeks after you left."

"Don't care."

"She cried herself to sleep every night."

"Hear that? Its the sound of me not caring." Despite what Naruto said, guilt was starting to poke at him.

"She forgave you."

Naruto bit back his planned witty reply, "What?"

The boy still couldn't see that well, so Iruka allowed himself a triumphant smile, "You heard me. I've had a lot of discussions with many people about you, and Sakura is the only one who told me that she couldn't hold what you had done against you."

The guilt was now stabbing him through the few chinks in his emotional armor, "Dammit... You've made me care."

"I've always been good at that, though you are pretty predictable. More importantly, though, is what you're going to do now."

"Now you want me to do something?"

Iruka ground the stub of his cigarette into the floor, "Part of being a man is paying recompense for your mistakes, so I want you to at least think about what you could do for Sakura."

"If I promise to think about it will you make me more ramen?"

"Sounds like a fair deal to me, but you better seriously think and not just stare off into space."

Naruto thought about it for all of thirty seconds, got bored of it, and decided he'd think about it later. The next nine and a half minutes were occupied by him staring off into space. Iruka noticed the boy's inattention almost immediately, but figured he had at least set things in motion.

After adding the various toppings, he helped Naruto maneuver the second cup of ramen into his mouth. Again, it all disappeared in one swallow.

"I'll think even more for a third cup of..."

"No."

"Stingy..."

"Yes I am, but I don't see you paying for any of this."

"I could if you wanted. That would make a great story in Konoha too: How you found Naruto but let him go because he bribed you. I'll bet that goes over real well with Tsunade."

"I'm hoping beyond hope that no one in Konoha _ever _finds out about any of this."

"Thats probably a good philosophy, even if we both know its really unlikely."

Iruka fished around for another cigarette, "Yeah well, a guy can dream."

"You know that smoking is bad for you, right?"

"Yes I do," he said as he lit up, "As you may recall, we used to have a monthly 'no smoking day' in class where we'd spend fifteen minutes talking about exactly how bad this is for your health."

"So how did you get hooked, then?"

"Needed a stress reliever."

Naruto reached out and swatted the cigarette to the ground, "There are other ways to relieve stress! Get a girlfriend or something."

"I was never very good with women, Naruto, and even less so since I joined the hunter-nin. I walk down the street and all the girls just stare at me."

"Wait... you think it's bad when they stare? That means they dig you."

"Come again?"

"You heard me."

"Listen Naruto, I am much older and much more experienced than you, and I can tell you that women stare at me because they think I'm weird. I can see it in their eyes."

"I'll make you a bet, how about that. I need to get a message to Temari, so if I win the bet than you have to go leave a note where I fought Szark and mark it with something obvious so that they'll know I'm alright. If you win, then I'll go peacefully back to Konoha with you and do all the things you want me to. Repent or whatever."

Iruka almost fell over, "Give me the terms..." he said eagerly, "I'm not entering into an unreasonable bet"

"Now I'm trusting you here, so you better play fair. I want you to go outside into a market or somewhere and introduce yourself to the best looking woman you see who's not either married or too far out of your age bracket. I'm going to bet that as long as you really try to be nice and all, you'll have a date within ten minutes."

"Thats absurd... but you're serious about coming back home if you lose?"

"Completely serious."

Now excited, Iruka ran and vanished outside.

/-/-/-/13 Minutes Later/-/-/-/

Iruka stumbled back into the warehouse in a strange kind of daze, "What did you want that sign to say, again? I have to hurry because I'm going to coffee with a woman named Roxane."

"Blond, brunette or redhead?"

"Redhead."

"Ooh... How old?"

"Two years younger than me."

"Care to make another bet? I'd be willing to accept the same terms as the previous bet, only if you lose this time you have to give me you're wallet. I can think of all kinds of things we could bet on... "

Iruka was only paying partial attention, "I don't think so, Naruto."

"Don't forget that you're a hunter-nin, so when dealing with girls you need to dazzle them with stories of your battles."

The older man searched around and found a large wooden board, "Lecture later, message now. I'll just carve it right into the wood."

"Better hurry, you have an hour to travel both ways."

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Temari sat atop the highest building in hidden sand and looked out over the desert, her youngest brother standing a few paces behind her. Were it not for the Master's fan on the roof at her feet, she might have been able to pass off her time with Naruto as a grandiose dream. Here she was, back in hidden sand, and nothing had changed. She would be able to wake up the next day and return straight to her previous rank and position as a gennin.

It was all thanks to Gaara's influence, but it was still a shock to have normalcy so unexpectedly thrust upon her, who had become so used to the random and unpredictable life of a outlaw. She looked down at her fan, and for one fraction of a second considered burying it deep in the desert and trying to just forget that Naruto had ever existed.

But then reality sunk in, and she started to cry.

They weren't the sort of over exaggerated tears one might expect, and there was no wailing, sobbing or moaning. She just stood there as small tears traced paths down her cheeks and fell silently onto the tile roof. Gaara wanted to say something, but any words of consolation would seem pathetically insignificant when measured against his sister's pain.

He looked away and spoke softly, "I'm sure Kankuro will be glad to see you."

"Yes."

"And all your old friends... we should invite them over or something."

He got no response, but Gaara took the silence to be affirmative and dissolved into sand, leaving Temari alone on her rooftop.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Iruka practically danced into the warehouse, "That was great! Roxane wants to see me again."

Inside, Naruto was on his feet and looking at his reflection in one the few unbroken windows in the building. He glanced over as the older man entered, and their eyes were level with each other, "You forget to mention this one small detail."

Iruka blinked, "I didn't notice. It's hard to judge height when someone is laying down and I wasn't really paying attention, though I did notice that your limbs were out of proportion."

Naruto surveyed his body uncomfortably, and although the changes were similar in nature to the first time he had used the Shikifuujin Kai, the effects were much more pronounced. He had grown slightly taller again, and running his tongue over his fangs determined that they had again grown longer, but it took only a few more seconds of poking and prodding to reveal that his skeletal structure had become distinctly more canine.

He was finding his back hunching slightly, and had a sneaking suspicion that if he were to let himself fall forward he would be able to run on all fours. Contributing to this suspicion was the fact that his arms had grown longer in proportion to the rest of his body, all of his muscles had become leaner and stringier, and his shoulders felt somehow wrong.

"Oi, Iruka. Dogs have disconnected shoulder bones, right?"

"Yeah, running on all fours requires a wider range of motion, so having disconnected shoulder bones gives them more flexibility, a longer stride when running and lets them jump farther."

"...You sure know a lot."

"I used to be a school teacher. They paid me to be smart."

"Right now they're paying you to kill me, and you haven't done that yet."

"I'm better at being smart than I am at killing."

"Not really, you're just not quite used to it yet. Wait until you're desperate enough and I bet you'll find you have a great talent for killing. Everyone does."

"And you call me cynical?"

"I call them as I see them. How much money do you have?"

Iruka suddenly became suspicious, "Why?"

"Because I need to go clothes shopping." Naruto said dully, _"Again. _There seems to be some greater power obsessed with wrecking my clothes and/or wrecking my body in an effort to force me to constantly buy new garments._"_

"..."

"Stop looking at me that way. Do you have the money or not?"

"I guess."

"Excellent, now give me a hand here, since I really can't move very well yet."

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Szark sat up against a sand dune and systematically examined his injuries. After fifteen minutes of careful examination he was able reach one conclusion.

He was fucked up.

Even with Leviathan's large girth shielding him from most of the chakra, he had at least three broken ribs, a snapped wrist, a broken foot, and a split lip that hurt like a bitch. Since he didn't have the luxury of regeneration like Naruto and Leviathan did, he always carried a soldier pill, but he would still have to bandage his ribs and a make a splint for his foot.

Looking down at Gyakuryuu, he decided that he didn't need the extra weight, so he pressed his right hand onto the blade and watched it vanish.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Somewhere in another dimension, Gamakichi was hopping happily down a river bank with his friend Usagi the bunny.

He heard a strange poofing sound and quickly looked around, "What was that?"

Usagi shrugged her small bunny shoulders, "I don't..."

Splat

Gamakichi stared in wide eyed horror at the large sword now lying on the ground where Usagi had just been.

And the splatter of red that was now Usagi.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Szark pondered his smoking arm. What he used to seal his sword was essentially a reversed summoning contract, so he couldn't help but wonder where exactly the weapon went when he wasn't using it.

But that was a question for another day.

With a grunt of pain, he started to dig in his various pockets, looking for his soldier pill.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Naruto pushed his way out of the clothing store happily, wearing apparel that actually fit him. Clothes that fit are important, since wearing underwear that's three sizes to small is never a pleasant experience.

His shoes had been lost somewhere in the desert, but he didn't really mind going barefoot for a while, and Iruka was starting to look annoyed at the quickly thinning pile of bills in his wallet.

"How are you feeling?"

"I can barely walk, Iruka. How does it look like I'm doing?"

"You really need to be more positive about things. Being able to move is an amazing feat for someone with your level of injuries"

"Amazing or not, it's still not enough. I'm helpless without my chakra."

"Naruto; I could cut off your arms and gouge out your eyes and you would still be a lot more dangerous than most shinobi I know."

"Hmm... True."

Iruka's eye twitched at the boy's tone, "And by the way, I'm assuming I can abandon any hope of ever getting my money back?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

Iruka really didn't know where to go from there, so more words were exchanged as they made their way back to the warehouse, and Naruto went straight back to sleep once they arrived.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

He felt himself being sucked back into the world of the waking by some force or another, and opened his eyes to find a large dog licking his face.

Pushing the mutt off him, Naruto dug around in Iruka's pack and pulled out an energy bar, unwrapping it and throwing it to the dog.

"There, now leave me alone."

The dog jumped and caught the bar in it's mouth, munched for a moment, and seemed to find it satisfactory, barking once and then running out of the warehouse.

Naruto saw no sign of Iruka anywhere, and was feeling quite a bit better, though he still couldn't feel even a hint of chakra. He did a quick test of all his major muscle groups, and was pleased to find that most of them responded quite well. There was still a persistent burning sensation, but that wasn't likely to change until his chakra system started to heal itself.

It was strange to think about, but he had burns all along the inside of his muscles and organs. Even more annoying was that his regeneration would be massively slowed. It was, he realized, something of a vicious circle; he needed chakra to regenerate and needed to regenerate his pathways before he could use any chakra.

With a sigh, he pulled on his new vest and stretched out his arms, testing to see how extensive a range of motion his new shoulder muscles actually allowed him. He was surprised to find that he could actually rotate his arms like windmill blades, keeping them straight aligned with his torso.

Once he was loosened up, he started going through some basic taijutsu routines, trying to get a feel for his new body. He would flinch every now and then when a stab of pain would shoot through one of his arms or legs, but he wouldn't let himself falter.

After twenty or so minutes, he took a breather and started to heat some water to make instant ramen. Sweat ran down his face as he watched the water start to boil and lost himself in the hypnotic bubbling.

He wasn't sure how much time had passed when he snapped out of it, but a good amount of water had evaporated by the time he poured it over his par-cooked noodles. Slurping loudly, he left the warehouse and started to wander through the nearby streets.

He turned a corner and paused as he saw a bunch of rather large men surrounding a smaller man with very greasy hair.

"Is there a problem, gentlemen?"

Attention immediately centered on Naruto, who continued to eat his ramen.

"Get out of here, brat. We're just doing a little business."

Naruto slurped down more noodles and gestured to the surrounded and shivering smaller man, "It looks like you're being a little rough."

"This is none of your concern, so just walk away."

When the boy showed no intention of doing so, a few of the larger men started to advance towards him. He watched them approach but held out a hand as they moved to surround him.

"Wait a second." Naruto tilted his head back and drank down the rest of his ramen, throwing the cup to one side. "Okay, I'm ready."

One of the men went to grab his arm, and without so much as a change of facial expression, Naruto caught the thug's hand and crushed it. With their companion now laying screaming on the ground, the rest of the men were slightly more hesitant.

The leader (Naruto assumed, since he was the biggest and looked the meanest) stepped forward, "What the hell do you want kid, money?"

"I just want to know what's going on, and why you appear to be ganging up on someone obviously weaker than you."

"I'm only telling you one more time, leave!"

With a sigh, Naruto ducked under a punch thrown by one of the thugs who had managed to get behind him, grabbed his wrist and and threw the man into a nearby pile of trash. Two more tried to flank him, but Naruto flattened them with his all time favorite, the scissor kick.

"What IS it with you people and resorting to violence? All I do is go for a walk, and the next thing I know, people are attacking me. I'm injured, you know."

Those who could were now running away as fast as possible, leaving Naruto surrounded by a bunch unconscious or pitifully moaning thugs.

He shrugged to himself, "Whatever," and continued on his walk.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Sakura dropped into a chair and surveyed her kitchen table and the paper that covered it. Every day she received her mail along with all the mail addressed to the Uchiha estate (since she was the only one who cared) which she sorted to one side every day and looked through once a week. There was an unusually large amount this particular week, but she suspected most of it was junk mail.

Her suspicions were for the most part confirmed, until she reached an innocuous looking letter that made do a double take. Scribed on the front of the envelope were the words: "_Are you **Uchiha Itachi**? If so, the do we have some deals for you!_"

Thinking it must be some sort of prank, she tore it open and pulled out a single sheet of paper, which opened to reveal a form letter.

_Dear **Uchiha Itachi,**_

_We know that life as a **19** year old **No, thank you** can be hectic, particularly when you're working hard as a **Shinobi. **It may not always be easy to eat healthy, but if you want to weigh a little less than **Don't know,** we have some great deals on **Pocky, Pocky, **and even **Pocky **for after dinner. If any of this sounds good to you, feel free to give one of our representatives a call at 555-FAT-GONE, thats 555-328-4663._

Sakura read through the letter again just to be sure she wasn't going crazy, then bolted out the door.

"Tsunade is not going to _believe _this."

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

When Iruka got back, Naruto was doing one finger push ups, "Did you go out today?"

"Hmm? Yeah, why?"

"There's a big story going around. Apparently there's a water shortage in the city, and most of the water supply is controlled by a guy named Crisco, who's backed by the local gangs. Now a group of cops went undercover six months ago to bust this guy, and managed to get hired as his bodyguards."

Naruto didn't like where this was going.

"Now they were only few people in a large group of bodyguards, and today was the first day that his detail consisted of all undercover cops. They managed to get him away from the rest of his organization and were interrogating him, but just before they got him to roll..."

Iruka just let it hang, and Naruto flipped onto his back, "Well shit."

"So I take you were one who beat up the police?"

"It would seem so, but I didn't know they were police at the time."

"Their cover was blown as soon as they confronted Crisco, so now they're screwed."

"They must have evidence against this guy if they followed him around all that time."

"Yes, but he escaped from the police and is now holed up in his fortress of a house, surrounded by minions, and sitting on top of a tank filled with water that the city needs to survive."

"Ouch..."

"And once Crisco found the name of the man who had led the undercover team, he had his daughter kidnapped."

"Ack..."

"And he had all the puppies and kittens in the city gathered together up and is hanging them over a pot of boiling water, threatening to drop them in."

"..."

"Okay, so I made that last one up."

"But the thing about the daughter is real?"

"As far as I know."

Naruto growled, "Fuck... If this Crisco was just a greedy asshole, I could let it slide, but since he plays dirty I'm going to have to something about it."

"What exactly are you going to do?"

"Kill the bastard."

"Just like that?"

"Just like that."

"What about the girl?"

Naruto pondered for a moment, "I'll leave that you to you."

Iruka stood slack jawed as Naruto walked out of the building, then ran after him, "Wait a second!"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Crisco's mansion wasn't hard to find, since it was pretty much the largest building in the city. That, and the fact that there were a hundred or so police outside.

He vaulted easily over the wall and made his way to the open front door and peeked in.

He saw a few of the men from this morning, most noticeably the man who Naruto had dubbed 'Head Thug', who was standing near the door in a police uniform and looking very nervous.

Across the gigantic entrance hall, at the foot of a set of stairs was the greasy haired man Naruto had protected this morning, surrounded by a small army of tough looking guys armed to the teeth. There were a few more police, but they were looking scared senseless.

Naruto strode in, and those who recognized him grew wide eyed. He looked over at the big cop from this morning, "Oi, you the one who's daughter was kidnapped?"

The man appeared to be trying very hard to restrain himself, "What the fuck do you care! This is all your fault anyway!"

Naruto rubbed his head, "Okay, not getting anything from you." He looked across the room, "You there, Crisco. Did you kidnap this guys daughter?"

"Um... Yeah."

"Are you threatening her life?"

"That IS the point of holding someone hostage, isn't it?"

"Alright then, I guess I have no choice. You police guys might want to get out of the way for this."

With everyone else in the room staring at him, Naruto meandered slowly towards Crisco and his cronies.

Crisco scowled, "Listen boy, I'm grateful for your help this morning, and will pay you well, but stay back and let me deal with this first."

Naruto continued his advance and shook his head, "I'm afraid that won't be happening."

Some of the gang members raised their crossbows, but Crisco held up a hand, "What do you mean by that?"

The boy narrowed his eyes, "I think you know exactly what I mean."

The greasy haired man snorted, "Well, go ahead and attack me then, but you'll find I have some very good protection!"

He snapped his fingers with a flourish, and the ground started to rumble as a trap door opened in the floor and smoke billowed out. Out of the smoke rose...

An empty platform.

Everyone stared at it for a moment, then a flushing sound could be heard from somewhere in the building. A young man in shinobi garb came through one of the doors on the second floor and jumped over the railing onto the platform, "Sorry! I was just in the..."

Crisco pointed, "Fight him."

He looked at Naruto, "Whoa... I actually have someone to fight today. I may not look like much, but I almost passed the chuunin exam a couple years back, and I wont go easy on you."

Naruto looked on blankly, "Exactly how low _are _your standards around here?"

"Don't insult me!"

The young man formed two bunshins, and each of the three drew a kunai and they attacked Naruto from all sides.

He watched them charge towards him pityingly, "Well, let's hope you get lucky."

The three boys laughed, "Lucky?"

Naruto was attacked from the left first and dodged the kunai thrust, grabbing the boy's neck with his hand. He blocked a thrust from the right a half second later and again grabbed his neck. The third attack came from straight ahead, and he ducked under the final kunai and tore into his assailants throat with his fangs.

The forms in his left hand and teeth dissolved into smoke, leaving a quaking boy being held the air by his right hand, "What do you know, your luck was good today."

He looked down at Naruto shakily, and more specifically at his teeth, "You re... re... really didn't know which was the real me?"

Naruto grinned, and the boy fainted dead away. He dropped him casually and turned his gaze to Crisco, "Anything else?"

The greasy man looked manic, "All of you, KILL HIM!"

The terrified gang members drew throwing weapons of various varieties and hurled them at Naruto, more out of self-preservation than any sense of loyalty.

Just as the weapons were about to hit him, Naruto blurred and vanished.

Crisco looked around desperately, "Above!"

It was far too late, as the first row of thugs were taken out by weapons they had only seconds before thrown themselves. Twisting in mid-air, Naruto planted his feet and hands on the ceiling, digging in with his claws to adhere to it.

"Really, Crisco. When you hire mindless minions, make sure they have good aim."

At this point, Crisco's men were running for the exits as fast as they could, and the police had to get out of the way as the throng forced it's way out the front door. When the mass exodus was over, the greasy man was left with his few loyal supporters.

"You may kill me, runt, but that police-man's daughter is going to die with me! She's probably being strangled to death in the basement even as we speak!"

Naruto dropped off the ceiling, again twisting to land lightly on his feet, "Do you have her, Iruka?"

The hunter-nin appeared just outside the door, holding a young girl, "I have her and the guards have been dealt with."

As his last few men deserted him, Crisco's eyes took on a look of madness, "Ha... ha... HAHAHAHA! So you think you can kill me, do you? Then we'll all die together, how about that."

He pulled a stick of dynamite out of his pocket, "I was going to use this on the water tank as a last resort, but it should work just as well to kill you!"

Everyone outside watched tensely as the madman lit the stick and waved in the air, "TAKE THIS!"

Crisco threw the explosive, and Naruto watched as it tumbled end over end toward him. He glanced down at the kunai scattered about the floor and kicked one into the air. He studied the tumbling TNT even more closely, then snatched the kunai and threw it with a small flick of the wrist.

The weapon traveled through the air at an untraceable speed and embedded itself in Crisco's head with a wet thunk.

The dynamite turned end over end a final few times, then Naruto caught it. The boy turned his attention to the center of the room, where a small piece of wick was burning as it floated slowly to the ground. He watched it for a couple more seconds, until it quietly burned itself out.

"Boom."

Naruto dropped the dynamite and walked back out the mansion's front door. He stopped for a moment to check on the little girl and her father, who looked up as Naruto passed by, "You can't know how much I appreciate this..."

"Give my regards to the guys I busted up, and consider us even."

With that, Iruka and Naruto vanished.

While most of the cops were arresting members of Crisco's ex-gang, one got curious and went over to examine the stick of dynamite.

The wick had been cleanly severed a half inch above the top of the stick, and the man's eyes then traced a path to the kunai in Crisco's head, and the small piece of wick lying on the ground in the middle of the room.

"Sir... You'll want to see this."

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

When they arrived back at their warehouse, Iruka collapsed against a wall, "There are no words to describe how nervous I was back there..."

"About the mission?"

"I was worrying about what would happen if I was caught taking an action like this without orders."

"Be content that you did some good today, Iruka."

"So after this, how long are you planning on staying in the city?"

Naruto shook his head, "Not long at all. Probably going to leave tomorrow morning. Why, are you planning on following me?"

"I have to return to Konoha soon, and tomorrow is as good a time as any."

"So tonight is our last chance to hang out, huh?"

"Yes it is, and you are going to do some talking."

"About what?"

"You've been sick, so I've been doing all the talking, and now I want to hear about you a little bit."

"There's nothing really to say about me..."

"If you need help, start with Temari and go from there. From the impression I get, you two are getting pretty close."

Naruto choked and started to cough violently, while Iruka just smiled.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

The next morning Iruka awoke to the smell of ramen.

Figuring he owed Iruka breakfast, Naruto had made a full ten cups of instant noodles (eight for him, two for Iruka). Actually, he had taken the ramen from Iruka's pack in the first place, so all he had really done was cook it, but that was a minor issue.

"I'm surprised you're still here, Naruto. I would have thought you would have left as soon as you got up. Don't you have all kinds of important things to do?"

"I'm going to dig my sword out of the desert today, and I'm not really looking forward to it, so I'm procrastinating."

"You do realize that it's probably under the section of desert now covered by glass?"

"Hence the procrastination, but I want to get to hidden sand as soon as possible, and before I can do that I have to settle the score with an old man, which requires my sword."

"You're going to go back and fight the same guy who kicked your ass last time, but this time without chakra?"

"I'm kind of hoping that my chakra pathways will heal before I find him."

Iruka finished his breakfast and subtlety pulled a smoke from his pocket, "Great plan you have there."

"I like to improvise."

"But are you any good at it?"

Naruto rolled his eyes and tossed Iruka a scroll, "Here you are, oh great master of sarcasm. Something for Sakura."

"I'm amazed, Naruto... What is it?"

"None of your business, so just give it to her."

Iruka looked at him flatly, "It's not going to explode when she opens it, right?"

"No."

"Release a poisonous gas?"

"No."

"Start playing music from the Katamari Damacy soundtrack?"

"God no, I would never do something _that _inhumane."

"Is it going to do anything that might get her or me in trouble?"

"Nope; 100 safe, I guarantee it."

"I'm trusting you on this, so if _anyone _gets hurt because of this scroll..."

"I'm not a very good person by most people's standards, but I don't lie, and I would never even consider being so underhanded as to try and hurt the village through you. We clear?"

Iruka looked at the ground, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

That line was a pretty effective conversation killer, so Naruto just helped Iruka get ready to go. Neither of them were working very fast, but all the work seemed done far too early.

Iruka lifted his pack onto his back, "In the grand scheme of things, you haven't been gone that long, Naruto, but somewhere along the line you leaned some maturity."

The two of them walked out into the street and arbitrarily turned right, "Nah, I'm just really good a faking it."

"If you say so, but I see maturity."

"Anyway, are you sure you don't want to hang around a bit longer and help me dig through a few hundred metric tonnes of sand?"

"No, I think my life can go on quite happily without my ever having to dig through any sand at all. And I figure it's better if we keep our time together short; we live in different worlds now."

"Maybe... But yesterday, you felt a little rush, didn't you?"

"A rush?"

"Play dumb if you want, but you know you did the right thing yesterday, and you did it without being ordered to by anyone. Tell me you didn't enjoy it even a little bit when you beat those thugs away from that little girl."

There was heavy silence as Iruka realized his mouth would not open to deny it.

"See? I'm not going to suggest you leave the village or anything, but stand up to your superiors once in a while. It will keep them on their toes."

"So now you're promoting insubordination?"

"It's part of a long term plan to force hidden villages to reconsider how they operate."

"And how do you plan to get support for this mass coup of yours?"

"Under my organizational structure, all shinobi will be given a fifteen minute doughnut break twice a day."

"What if they're in the middle of a battle?"

"It won't matter, because if I get all the villages to operate this way, both sides will take their breaks at the same time."

"What kind of doughnuts?"

"Chocolate sprinkle."

"Vive la revolution."

"What?"

"Sorry, historical reference. Look it up."

"I need to head the other way pretty soon, but I have something I want you to say to the Hokage for me when she inevitably finds out about our meeting, and you have to use the exact wording."

"Sure, what do you want me to say?"

"Tell her that I have no problem doing missions for Konoha again, on one condition."

"What's the condition?"

Naruto grinned, "That she pay the same price as everyone else."

Iruka gulped, "She's going to kill me..."

Naruto stopped walking and started to turn around, but suddenly had an inspiration, "It would be even better if Kakashi was in the room too."

"As a matter of detail, what _is _your price?"

"You don't seriously think the Hokage would hire a missing-nin from her own village, do you?"

"If she were desperate enough."

It had never crossed Naruto's mind that his joke might be taken seriously, so he had to think for a minute, "2,000,000 yen."

Iruka initially balked at the cost, but tucked the information away for a day when he might need it, "So I'll see you later then, Naruto?"

The boy laughed, "I'm sure we'll run across each other again eventually. Take care of yourself, sensei."

With that they went their seperate ways, and neither looked back.

Iruka would make his way to Konoha without giving the scroll much thought at all, completely unaware he had in his pocket a text that would change the study of demons forever, as it contained everything Naruto knew about the history of the demon race.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Szark stumbled through town, his stomach grumbling noisily. He, like Naruto, had lost most of his possessions to the shifting sands, and had only a few thousand yen.

He was pondering this dilemma when he saw a group of young people doing what appeared to be dancing on the street. He watched as money changed hands, then two people would start dancing, and after a couple minutes they would stop and more money would change hands.

Szark didn't know what kind of dancing it was, and had never heard that type of music, but he knew a competition when he saw one, "Hey! You kids over there, can I try?"

There were a few snickers, but one of the boys held up his hand, "Sure, old man, I'll take you on."

"What odds?"

There was some muttering, then someone whispered something in the same boy's ear, "20 : 1."

The old man counted his money, "I'll bet 9000 yen on myself, then."

Full fledged laughter broke out, but a few courageous people put money down for Szark to win, usually because their friends dared them to.

The old man took his place across from the cocky teen and someone started up the boombox.

/-/-/-/ 7 Minutes Later /-/-/-/

Szark walked away with a large bag on money, leaving a number of gaping jaws and one crushed ego behind him, "Remember, kiddies; never underestimate a geezer!"

Two boys near the edge of the crowed watched the old man walk away.

"Dude... did that guy just do a disco to rap music?"

"Uh huh."

"I didn't know that was rhythmically doable."

"Me neither."

"..."

"..."

"It was a damn good dance, wasn't it?"

"Yep."

"..."

"..."

"Think he'd teach us the disco?"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Naruto surveyed the field of glass morosely. Having been unconscious the last time he was here, he hadn't actually seen the glass field his uncontrolled chakra had spontaneously formed. It was big. _Really _big. Like... Szark's sword kind of big.

Obviously he would have to rethink his plan of systematically digging in the desert. If he wanted to find his sword, some use of the mush between his ears would be required.

So he sat down, and pondered.

What did he know about glass? Though technically a liquid, it existed as a solid for all intents and purposes, so no help there. Despite looking like a crystal, glass was also amorphous, which meant that the atoms had no order or structure, so speaking atomically it had more in common with cotton candy than anything crystalline. Interesting as this fact was, again Naruto couldn't think how it would be useful.

But then the wanderings of his mind brought him to something Kisame had taught him by the campfire one night, and it had to do with resonance.

All substances have specific frequencies at which they will vibrate, the lowest of which being the resonant length. Kisame had told him that if one were to create a vibration very near to, but not exactly, that frequency, the glass would shake itself apart.

This effect, although boring in theory, was really fun to do in practice; since when a scientist says glass 'shakes itself apart', what he really means is that it 'shatters violently.' And that was exactly what Naruto needed to do.

"_**How on earth did Kisame learn something like that?"**_

Naruto lurched at the voice and fell onto his back, _"That you, bastard fox?"_

"_**Are there any other dashingly handsome demons currently forced to cohabitate with you inside your head? Cause if there are I'd love to meet them, it gets lonely in here."**_

"_See, I knew it was you."_

"_**The why did you ask?"**_

"_So I would have time to collect myself after the surprise of having you talk after being quiet for so long."_

"_**I'm more surprised than you are, brat. I've been trying and failing to get your attention for a couple days, and I went to some pretty extreme lengths."**_

"_I had a really weird dream last night, and it included you singing Candy Girl."_

And thus awkwardness ensued.

"_So you really were singing candy girl?"_

"_**I thought you might be just ignoring me, so I tried to come up with the most annoying thing I could think of."**_

"_You were right. I didn't sleep very well at all last night."_

"_**Back to my initial question: How does Kisame know about something like resonance?"**_

"_He has many hobbies, one of which is science that involves breaking shit."_

"_**..."**_

"_I'm just quoting what he told me one day, but anyway, on to more important things. I don't suppose you would be so lucky as to have any space in which to manifest?"_

"_**I don't, but even if I did, you can't give me anywhere near enough chakra in the pathetic state you're in right now."**_

"_You could have stopped after saying that you didn't have any space."_

"_**I could have, but I derive great pleasure from pointing out your insufficiencies."**_

"_If you can't manifest, we really will have to use vibrations."_

"_**I can oscillate my 'body' with a very small amount of chakra, but I'm not sure how accurate I can be in controlling the frequency."**_

"_How much chakra are we talking here? As of now I have pretty much none."_

"_**If you have enough to maintain a connection with me, I can probably draw enough to shake things up a bit, even if you can't feel it."**_

Focusing with all his might, Naruto felt what might have been the tiniest hint of chakra, but he would have to trust the Kyuubi on this one.

Strangely, that thought wasn't very comforting.

With a self-resigned sigh, Naruto lay down on the glass and placed his ear against it, then lightly ran one claw over the glass' surface in slow circles. The sound created was complex, full of overtones, but Naruto listened very carefully and soon isolated the frequency he needed.

"_Oi, bastard, can you hear that?"_

Having immersed himself in the boy's mind, the Kyuubi could indeed hear it, and started to hum throatily, trying to match the pitch. One the demon had it, he drew on just the tiniest bit of chakra and, deep under the surface of the glass desert, Seirei Kirite started to shake.

It took a little while for the Kyuubi to get it exactly right, and as soon as he did, Naruto jumped away and clamped his hands on his ears as the glass resonated, massively amplifying the sound and turning the desert into a giant speaker.

He wasn't sure how long he would be able to stand it, but after just a couple seconds the Kyuubi varied the frequency a teeny tiny bit.

300 ft away from Naruto's position, a section of the glass desert shattered, launching the sword into the air. The boy ran forward as it landed and skittered across the ground, grabbed it up and slid to a stop.

"_Hey fox, remind me to pick up some sodium if we ever some across a place that sells it."_

"_**Why..."  
**_

"_For Kisame, we owe him one. It's pretty much his favorite stuff on the planet, but Itachi won't let him keep it around."_

"**_What would he want with a lump metal?"_**

"_Sodium ignites upon contact with water."_

"_**Like 'makes a little fire' ignites or 'explodes' ignites?"**_

Naruto leaned his blade comfortably against his shoulder, _"A half pound of sodium dropped in water can level a small building, assuming you have enough water."_

"_**We definitely need some of that stuff."**_

The boy laughed, _"We can get some for our own personal use too, then."_

Preparing to head back to Ocean, Naruto took a moment to admire Iruka's sign. It was just a wooden board with a simple message telling Temari he was ok, but it made him feel better after having not seen her for what felt like far longer than the few days it had really been.

There was a part of him that wanted to just run all the way to hidden sand right then, not stopping until he collapsed at her feet. But Naruto could feel in his bones that Szark was still somewhere nearby, and he couldn't leave their fight unfinished.

Reigning in his emotions, Naruto set off yet again across the desert.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Leaning in and surveying the room, Temari tried her best to cheer up. In her time with Naruto she had steadily forgotten more and more of her old life, but seeing all the people she had grown up with gathered all together almost brought a smile to her face.

Gaara had gathered everyone an hour or so ago, and they had all patiently waited for her, chatting among themselves and keeping quiet even though many of them could sense her hovering just outside the door.

Finally rallying her courage, she pushed the door open, walked in, and found herself immediately swamped. Some were happy with just a handshake, but many insisted on hugs and it seemed like every person in the room wanted nothing more than to make her feel better after what many called her 'terrifying ordeal.'

It swiftly became apparent that no one in hidden sand had even the slightest clue about what she had really been doing all this time, and so she mostly just nodded to whatever they said and accepted the raw sympathy everyone seemed to be exuding. That was, until she got to Bando.

Now Bando really wasn't a bad guy, and she had known him all her life, but he was somewhat lacking in the tact department. As she passed, he gave her a hearty thump on the back, "Glad to see you, Tem. Guess it was a stroke of luck that bum who was holding you got whacked, huh?"

The change in the atmosphere was palpable as Temari stiffened and her chakra flared. Bando started to slowly take a step backwards, but was suddenly helped along by Temari's fist, which sent him flying through the air and out the window.

There was a moment of shock as everyone in the room tried to figure out what had just happened.

Temari, like most all sand shinobi who used battle fans, was quite well known for being physically weak. Bando wasn't a huge man by anyone's standards, but he was at least 180 lbs. It required quite a lot of force to send 180 lbs flying across a large room.

One of her old academy teachers laughed quietly, "Been working out a little, Temari-san?"

The sand girl was quiet for a moment, surprised to find that the random act of violence actually made her feel better. She reveled in the adrenaline rush for a few moments, then walked through a parting crowed over to the broken window and looked out, "Are you okay?"

"I... I think I broke my leg in the fall."

"Can you move?"

"No..."

"Perfect."

Temari felt energized for the first time in days, and there was a little more bounce in her step as she walked away from the window and the feeble whining coming through it.

Kankuro pushed open the door to the kitchen and emerged carrying a tray of hors d'œuvres, his stuffed mouth suggesting he had sampled a few already, "Whash goin on? Whysh efewyone tho quiet?"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Szark walked into the hospital and looked around, grabbing a doctor as he passed by, "Hey, I need some medicine to speed the healing of broken bones."

"I'm sorry sir, but I'm busy right now and..."

The old man held out his bag of money, "Is this enough?"

The doctor stuttered, "I... I'm sorry sir, but we don't just hand out valuable medicine to anyone who asks."

"Where's the nearest discotheque?"

"The nearest what?"

"The place where the young people go to dance."

"Leave the hospital and turn left, go a couple blocks down, turn left on main, go a few more blocks and its on your left. A place called Ziggy's."

"Thanks." Szark let go of the doctor and quickly left the hospital.

/-/-/-/20 Minutes Later/-/-/-/

The old man walked back into the hospital with two huge sacks and found that same doctor, "Okay, I have more money now. Give me the medicine."

The doctor stared at the sacks of money for a couple seconds and drooled a little, "Of course, sir, right this way. We have many fine brands of product to help speed healing, and you'll be ship shape in no time."

"No bullshit sales pitches or fake courtesy please, doctor. Just give me the best stuff you have and I'll be on my way."

His rather harsh tone took some of the wind out of the doctor's sails, but Szark had his medicine within five minutes in the form of a salve.

"Just rub that on the injured area liberally," the doctor said, "and anything broken or bruised should heal in a couple of hours tops."

"Thanks, your help has been appreciated."

Leaving his sacks of money behind, the old man walked out the automatic doors.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Walking the streets of Ocean with his sword, Naruto felt his body drain of tension he hadn't even noticed before then. Despite their mutual dislike for each other, both Naruto and Kyuubi derived a sense of comfort from the other's presence. For Naruto the Kyuubi was his power and source of (usually sarcastic and snide) wisdom, while the demon had Naruto to thank for his life and the few freedoms he enjoyed.

The boy continued to contentedly wander, knowing that he would feel Szark's presence if he ever got close. Normally he would never be so brash, but the one advantage of not having any chakra flow was that no one could sense him. Anyone who saw him, even other shinobi, would not be able to distinguish him form a normal man. Or rather, a normal man with claws, fangs, facial markings that looked like strange tribal tattoos, and a sword large enough to bisect a cow.

So maybe he wasn't going to be very inconspicuous, but in a relatively large city like Ocean, they weren't very likely to run across each other, and that was only if Szark was even in the city, but Naruto still kept a small part of his brain alert in case of attack.

Having had no real direction in mind, he just let his feet take him wherever they wanted to, and after an hour or so he unconsciously made his way to the police station. Upon realizing where he was, Naruto immediately ducked into a side street and scaled a fire escape, doing his best not to draw attention to himself.

Once he was safely on top of an office building across from the precinct, Naruto took a moment to try and figure out what on earth had possessed him to go to the one place in the city where all the people who could recognize him would gather and came up blank, but even then he felt compelled. Performing a quick henge into his usual disguise of Sasuke (a fact for which he was sure the Uchiha was going to yell at him some day), his knees almost buckled as his whole body burned with a sharp pain.

"_**You know, I never get tired of watching you do stupid things. Not ever."**_

Ignoring the fox, Naruto hid his sword in an obscure corner of the roof and went back over to the fire escape, sliding down to the ground. He had left the Uchiha fans that adorned Sasuke's shirts out of his henge, since having been primarily a clan of police, they would probably be well known among their law-enforcing counterparts.

Trying to look innocuous, Naruto walked casually over to the station and pushed open one of the double doors, immediately taking inventory of his environment. He was somewhat surprised to find none of the air of suspicion he would have suspected so soon after an officer's daughter being kidnapped. In fact, things seemed somewhat jovial.

Everything was polished and looking shiny, a janitor mopping the floor was singing a little ditty to himself, and everyone moving around in the lobby seemed to have a little extra bounce in their steps.

Rather at a loss as to what to do, Naruto went over to the display cases and started searching for faces he knew, quickly finding the one he was looking for. Naruto had, during their first meeting, called this man the head thug, but looking at a picture of him in his full uniform, there was nothing thuggish about him at all and Naruto felt just a little guilty about having so brashly used such a moniker. Shifting his attention to the nameplate, he was able to apply the more correct title of 'Hidori Katsu.'

Catching the eye of the receptionist, Naruto walked over and smiled politely, "Hello there, I heard a friend of mine got in trouble the other day. His name is Hidori Katsu and..."

"Oh, yes! His daughter... well, I'm not supposed to tell anyone about the specifics, but you can ask him yourself. He's probably in the break room, so I'll have to page him."

The receptionist picked up a small microphone and spoke into it, her voice echoing through the building, "Officer Hidori to the front desk please, Hidori to the front desk."

Fighting the urge to twitch nervously, Naruto settled on just pacing slowly back and forth until one of the doors leading to the lobby opened and the man himself came through, glancing at Naruto then at the receptionist, "Can I help you with something?"

Naruto tried for a friendly look, "Hey, Katsu, it's been a while."

"Do I know you, sir?"

The receptionist looked at Naruto with a bit of distrust, "This young man said he was a friend of yours."

Hidori looked about to deny it, but Naruto interrupted, "You don't have to be this cold, Katsu, I thought I'd made up for the alley incident. Didn't we agree to call it even?"

Gears started to turn in the policeman's head and he suddenly smiled semi-exaggeratedly, "Well, you did cause a pretty big mess."

Thus ensued a round of nervous laughter.

As the receptionist sighed to herself and went back to work, Naruto gestured with his head for the policeman to follow him out the door. Once they were on the street, the boy found himself the target of a bombardment od questions, starting with: "Who on earth are you?"

"See... Thats a complicated question, but I'm not going to be anything but peaceful."

"You can't expect me to just take your word for it."

"What happened to gratitude?"

"Don't get me wrong, but a lot of cops saw what you're capable of, and someone of your power just wandering around our city makes a lot of us nervous."

"You guys get nervous way too easily then, but I'll be gone soon. I just wanted to meet you."

Hidori looked slightly taken aback, "You wanted to meet _me_?"

"Is there something strange about that?"

"We have a few shinobi posted in the city from hidden sand, and they probably wouldn't even talk to me. It would break the chain of command."

Naruto laughed humorlessly, "Trust me when I say that I'm not the kind of person to worry about something like that. My only motive is curiosity, and I have no superior to report to."

"So is this you're real form?"

"Nah, just a henge."

"So that bestial form was..."

"Yep, me in all my glory, but I don't want to keep you away from your work."

"Oh, I wasn't working. We were actually having a little party of sorts. With Crisco gone, the crime rate is already dropping through the floor, and someone made the joke that now they'll have to lay off half the police."

Naruto leaned against the wall of the building, "Would you mind if I hung out for a little while?"

"What?"

Everything in Naruto's head told him not to say what he was about to, "You said you were having a party, and I could use a party right now. Just say I'm a family friend or something."

"That sounds great, but your not going to answer any more questions, are you?"

"If you really want to know, do a little digging through your logs of missing nin."

Hidori pushed open the precinct door, "I was already planning on it."

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Naruto waved at the rabbit, "Hello, Bunny-san."

The small furry creature hopped over to him, "Hello, Naruto, how are you today?"

"Pretty good, though the world seems a bit blurry."

"Ah, but Naruto, thats because you're drunk."

"Heh... Silly rabbit, I can't get drunk."

"No, you are most definitely drunk. I think there might have also been something in those brownies you ate."

"But my chakra burns all the alcohol and other crap out of my system..."

Naruto blinked.

"Shit."

The rabbit nodded authoritatively, "See, I told you."

"So what do I do now?"

"Oh, you'll just have to wait it out, and I'm afraid you'll have to do it alone. We hallucinogenic bunnies are in high demand these days."

"Okay then, bye bye."

"See you later, Naruto."

The rabbit disappeared in a swirl of color and Naruto looked around the room, "He he... things are spinning!"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Naruto ambled out of the police station, flinching as the sun hit his eyes, "Man... when he said party I thought he meant a bunch of cops eating doughnuts and drinking coffee."

"_**You owe me another one, brat. I maintained your henge for you when you were out of it, which was most of the night.**"_

"_And I'll bet you were enjoying every minute of it."_

"_**Hell yes. I particularly liked the part when you danced with the stripper on the table."**_

To his horror, Naruto did remember something to that effect,_"You've got to promise me never to tell Temari."_

"_**We'll see about that."**_

"_Dammit, why didn't you snap me out of it before I got in over my head?"_

"_**Bah! You need to let loose once in a while or you get all tense and act like even more of a jackass than usual. Plus, its fun watching drunk people."**_

Naruto stumbled across the street and climbed up onto the roof where he had left his sword, _"I'd shoot back a clever comeback, but my head hurts too much."_

Finally able to let his henge slip, Naruto lay down next to his sword and closed his eyes, _"I'm gonna take a little nap, ok?"_

"_**You don't need my permission."**_

"_Hmmmmm."_

Not really listening, Naruto drifted off, dreaming of a world where his head didn't feel like it was splitting open.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

As alarm bells went off all around him, Naruto bolted upright and snatched up his blade, _"Fox! What the hell is going on?"_

"_**I don't know. Everything was completely peaceful until about five seconds ago."**_

Running to the edge of the roof and peeking over, the mayhem confirmed Kyuubi's statement. Everyone was running around haphazardly with no apparent idea what was going on, but police were pouring out of the station and running down the street, so Naruto followed along the rooftops.

As the procession of cops led Naruto through what was beginning to be a disturbingly familiar part of the city, Naruto dropped down into the street and grabbed a man who was running the other way, "Hey! Whats going on here?"

The man gasped, "Some freak just ruptured Crisco's water tank! God knows how he got past the police but he did, and nows he's just standing there as the water runs onto the ground."

"Then why hasn't anyone stopped him!"

The man started to sob, "We tried, but he has this sword and..."

That was all Naruto needed to hear.

He jumped with all his strength and landed on a roof half a block away, already bracing for another jump. People turned to look as he tore across the rooftops towards Crisco's mansion. As he approached, he could see a ring of police surrounding the house as the people who weren't running away looked on in horror as the water they needed to survive formed a slowly growing pool on the ground.

Naruto landed in the mansion's courtyard, ignoring the water that started to seep into his shoes, "SZARK! Where are you!"

There was dead silence, then a small splash.

Naruto rotated his arm back with a snap and stopped Gyakuryuu and inch from his neck, flinching as the blade dug into his palm, "That was dirty, old man."

"We seniors have to take every opportunity we get, Naruto."

The boy brought Kirite to bear as Szark lashed out with a Kunai, and Naruto was forced to release his hold on Gyakuryuu to catch the old man's other arm. So now they were deadlocked, Blade against blade and hand against hand.

Naruto growled, "How can you even hold that sword with one hand?"

"Oh, I just eat my Wheaties every morning and never drink alcohol or smoke."

"Bull."Pushing with all his strength, Naruto started to overpower his opponent. Szark ducked and suddenly broke away as Naruto toppled forward. Rather than try to regain his balance, the jumped forward into a roll and the ground he had previously occupied was torn up.

Flipping back onto his feet Naruto immediately broke to one side as Gyakuryuu again barely missed him. He brought Kubikiri around for a low hamstring slice and at the same time Szark went for a follow up decapitation. Naruto ducked and the old man jumped as both continued to spin, keeping up their momentum for a full 360, their blades clashing again with a grinding sound as the two again found themselves deadlocked.

This all happened in a period of just a couple of seconds, and the large crowd of onlookers was completely speechless.

Naruto glared up at the old man, fully aware of his situation. With all these people around, using jutsus could become extremely hazardous, and if either fighter used any offensive jutsu, even a low level one, the other would be forced to respond in kind, thus creating escalation.

On one hand, being forced to use nothing but taijutsu was good for Naruto, who could still only use a small amount chakra, but at the same time it meant that...

As expected, Sazark suddenly blurred out of existence.

Naruto didn't think for a second that Szark had ruptured the tank just to draw him out, the old man was too nice for that, but he needed the water to boost his speed. And _man _did it boost his speed.

Szark came down with a diagonal slash from Naruto's blind spot and the boy just barely escaped with a nicked shoulder. Without missing a beat Szark attacked again, opting for a straight cross cut. Escaping narrowly again, Naruto suddenly turned an ran away.

The old man was stumped for a second, then gave chase.

Just as he was almost to the doors of Crisco's mansion, the boy suddenly slammed his sword into the dirt in front of him and planted his feet against it. The blade flexed liked horizontal springboard and Szark skidded to a stop as Naruto was launched straight towards him and hit the old man with a very un-shinobi like but still very effective flying tackle.

Gyakuryuu went flying as Naruto and Szark hit the mud, the old man grabbing Naruto's shoulders and kicking kicking the boy with both feet, flipping him over and sending him skidding through the mud following the massive sword.

They were a little scuffed up, but on their feet in fractions of a second and back at each other. Szark drew a pair of large kunai without much hope of them being able to stand up to Naruto's claws, but he wasn't planning on going long without his sword.

Figuring that for once he had an advantage, Naruto immediately went on the offensive, being careful to not move too quickly and give his opponent a chance to slip by him. If the old man went straight for his sword with Naruto directly in his way, it would leave him open no matter how fast he was.

Unlike typical shinobi battles, which are typically fast and bloody, two swordsmen facing off against each other involves a lot of waiting and watching. Naruto advanced slowly, his entire being focused on Szark, waiting for the old man to make his move.

The boy was just taking his eleventh step when he saw Szark start to shift. He thought the old man was going to go left, but he had to be absolutely sure. His pupils dilated and he could suddenly see through the feint, masterful as it was.

He broke right and Szark, immediately sensing his ploy had been detected, tried in vain to reverse direction at the last moment. The two clashed, Szark scoring a light hit on Naruto's shoulder but paying for it dearly when the boy's claws raked down his side.

Breaking away and diving for his sword, the old man forced Naruto to do the same unless he wanted fight against Gyakuryuu with his bare hands. Grabbing Seirei Kirite as he ran by, Naruto jumped out of the mud and landed on the house next to the now deceased Crisco's.

Szark stood below him, unwilling to leave the advantage of the water and confident that Naruto wouldn't waste any time, as the tank was still slowly draining. The boy obviously knew this, and worked his mind furiously trying to come up with a plan.

A straight sword battle between him and Szark might take hours, and he had to finish it soon. He felt for his chakra and could now draw on more than any normal human, but still only a mediocre amount for someone like him. He would lose in a ninjutsu battle, sucked at genjutsu way too much to even try that, and didn't have time for a drawn out straight taijutsu match.

So it was time to get creative. The biggest problem he was facing was the issue of water, because the more drained from the tank the stronger Szark got, to say nothing of how much it might cripple the city.

He was desperately puzzling over this conundrum when the astoundingly simple answer suddenly came to him in a flash of insight.

He flashed through seals with the ease of someone who had done them a thousand times, and molded a huge amount of chakra, "Kirigakure no Jutsu!"

The old man caught on a moment too late as all the water on the ground suddenly evaporated into mist, and a violent explosion rocked the house as the tank ruptured, all the water therein having also been transformed by the jutsu.

Szark felt a momentary stab of regret as the water surrounding his feet also vaporized, canceling his speed jutsu. He had been hoping for things to last a bit longer.

Sensing that Naruto had left his rooftop perch and was now stalking him through the mist, Szark raised Gyakuryuu and charged forward.

Naruto blocked his first strike and the two slid into their respective stances; attacking, blocking, parrying and counterattacking in a flurry of strikes, flowing from one to the next with no delay or hesitation. It was a battle of wills where the slightest insecurity would mean death, and neither faltered in the slightest, Naruto's more brash and offensive style countering but not able to overpower Szark's sweeping defensive slices.

They moved through the mist like phantoms, making no sound with their movements as their blades clashed again and again. Every second felt like an hour, every minute like a day, but neither would concede.

It would have been easy for one of them to break away, giving them both a chance to rest, but that might leave the first to retreat open to attack, a position that couldn't be risked.

So they continued on.

A particularly powerful stroke of Gyakuryuu cleared the mist, and for a second or two, the two fighters could actually see each other. Naruto had a serious expression that showed his complete and total focus on the fight, but the boy was slightly disturbed to see that Szark was smiling. Their eyes met for a fraction of a second, and the old man abruptly changed the rhythm of the battle.

He broke away and then attacked from a different angle, catching Naruto off guard with a forward thrust. The boy couldn't block it, and he knew it, but was going to try anyway, bringing his blade around at what he knew to be far too slow a speed.

He watched the sword close in, and Naruto suddenly jerked as control of his body was torn from him.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Szark looked down at form kneeling in front of him, "This is foolishness, and I want no part in it."

"But why!"

"You are too weak. Your coup will fail, and my only regret is that there are people stupid enough to follow you to their deaths."

"We could win easily if you helped us! Everyone would rally around you."

"Why would I help you? Why would I help a self proclaimed devil gain control of an entire country?"

"I am a devil, Szark, but I'm one you helped to create. And besides, I don't care about politics and all that crap, but I care about keeping the country strong, and the scum who run things now care about nothing but their own fat useless selves."

"I am a shinobi of hidden mist, and I will defend it against anyone who threatens it, no matter the circumstances!"

Szark glared as the man who had once been his greatest student rose and faced him, "Fine then."

"I thought I taught you better than this. You are acting like a petulant child."

"I am going to take this country over, old man, and there will come a time when you realize I was right to do it."

"Get out of my sight, Momochi;. You are a disgrace to me and to our sword style."

Zabuza turned away, "You're right about my being weak, but I won't be weak forever. One day I'm going to make you eat those words."

"You think you'll ever be _my _equal? I doubt you'll even survive this pathetic rebellion of yours!"

The demon of the mist paused mid-step and grinned sardonically, "Then I'll strike at you from the depths of hell."

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

There was a wet thunk as Gyakuryuu hit the mud, and all was still.

Szark held his paralyzed and only partially attached sword arm with his other hand and let out a sigh, "That was spectacular, Naruto-kun. A half twist parry followed up by a quick backhand slash. Tell me, do you ever remember learning a form like that?"

"No, but at the time it was just a means of stopping your sword from connecting with my skull."

The old man winced as he squeezed his wound in an attempt to slow the bleeding, "That defensive counterattack is the best one that I ever came up with, and I only taught it to one of my students." Szark laughed, "He was never very good at it though, that fool."

Naruto ran his thumb over the hilt of Seirei Kirite, "So is that it, old man?"

Gyakuryuu vanished in a puff of smoke, "Today is your victory, Naruto-kun. Strangely enough, I don't mind the feeling of losing. Short as it was, the battle was magnificent, and i haven't enjoyed myself so much since... well, never."

"But you'll leave me alone now?"

"Of course. You shall never be bothered by me again."

"Good."

"Except..."

Naruto narrowed his eyes, "Except what?"

"If you ever want a rematch, you know where to find me."

/-/-/-/-/3 Days Later/-/-/-/-/

Temari sighed as she sunk into her bath, a rare and treasured commodity in hidden sand. Citizens were allowed one bath every three months, but since Gaara never took any, he had allowed Temari to go in his stead.

The last few days had actually been semi-bearable, with her newly gained respect among her peers and Bando having spent almost an hour apologizing. There was even the occasional period of five or so minutes where she didn't think about Naruto.

She smiled slightly as she thought of the people who were trying so hard to cheer her up, particularly Gaara and Kankuro, who were willing to go to sometimes ridiculous lengths.

She was reaching reaching for the soap when there was a sudden violent knocking on the door, "Temari-sama!"

"If you even think about coming in here I'm going to tear you in half. What do you want?"

The door, which had started to open, snapped shut again, "I'm very sorry, but there seems to be some sort of disturbance at the south entrance. It seems there's a man who's been inquiring as to your location."

"Why is that a problem?"

"Well, he was carrying a large sword, and one of the gate guards insisted on inspecting it..."

Temari was on her feet in an instant (almost falling over getting out of the tub), and rushed to get dressed, not bothering to dry off. She flung open the door as she was pulling on her shirt and ignored the Chuunin on the other side, running strait down the hall towards the exit.

She wasn't sure why Szark would have followed her to hidden sand, but she wasn't about to be a burden on the village. It wasn't very far to south gate, but she needed to get her gear from her room, which was going to send her a couple blocks out of the way. All in all, Temari figured she had maybe two minutes, so she would have to hurry.

Her bedroom window was open, so she dove in headfirst, rolled to a stop with her hand grabbing her fan. It wasn't until she was halfway turned around to jump back out the window that she realized someone else was in the room.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

At the south gate, a hundred or so shinobi had the intruder cornered up against a building. The highest ranking person present was a Kunoichi ANBU captain, so she took a few steps forward from the group.

"Who are you, and why do you insist on being senselessly violent?"

"Well, actually, I just kind of enjoy senseless violence. Now I have a question," he smiled fangily and held out his weapon, "Don't you think this is a sexy sword?"

The silence was deafening.

"I mean seriously, if you were to see this sword just laying at the side of the road, don't you think you'd suddenly have an incredible urge to run your hot hands over it?"

The various ANBU collectively took a couple steps back as their captain's self control started to waiver, "Now as I was saying, about your intentions here..."

"And then you could take it home so you could grind up against it just for the sheer joy of rubbing your body against a sword as sexy as this."

At this point, a storm of Kunai, Shuriken, and various other sharp pointy things converged on the poor cornered intruder, but he appeared undaunted as a red chakra flared up blasted all the projectiles back without any effort.

"Nice try, but not _nearly _good enough. Might I recommend some explosive tags next time?"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Temari's training kicked in and she tore a kunai from her holster and thew it blindly towards the only corner of the room where someone could be hiding.

"Now I have to say, that wasn't the kind of welcome I was expecting."

As the voice registered, her body suddenly stopped responding, and she could only stare as Naruto walked over and amusedly flicked her forehead, "You do realize that if I were someone else using a henge you'd be dead right now, right? "

Surreal as it was, the first question that popped into her head was: "How did you get in here?"

"The fox is creating a distraction of sorts, so I just hopped over the wall and found where you live."

"But... I'm pretty sure I have ANBU watching me."

"You did, hence the distraction involving the bastard fox saying he was looking for you. It drew all your watchers and guards like Itachi to Pocky."

They just looked at each other for a second, then Temari punched him in the stomach as hard as she possibly could.

"...Ow"

"I thought you were dead! How could you stay away this long and not even try to contact me!"

Now at this point, Naruto could have mentioned that he did leave a message, and that it wasn't his fault she didn't get it, but that probably would have been insensitive and she might have hit him again, so he held his peace.

"I promised you I'd come back alive, didn't I?"

"Yes, but..."

"There are no 'buts' when it comes to my promises. Ever."

Temari stared at him for a second, "How is it that you manage to make such a blatantly arrogant statement so comforting?"

"It's part of my charm."

For all her efforts, Temari felt her anger at him slipping away, but she suddenly noticed something odd, "Is there any particular reason you're standing six feet away and avoiding looking directly at me?"

"That depends, because there are two options here. You might have just gotten a lot more comfortable around me, but I think It's more likely that you haven't noticed yet that your clothes are completely soaked through."

Temari blinked.

"And rather clingy, I might add."

Her ears went bright red.

"Not that I'm complaining, mind you..."

Her voice was slightly strained, "Could you turn around, please?"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

The demon posed dramatically, "No, Kristy, you can't leave!"

He switched to a high squeeky voice, "But I must, Jack. See... I'm your sister!"

Back to his low dramatic voice, "Noooooooooooooooooo! How can this be!"

An ANBU lieutenant sidled up to his commander, "At this point sir, I think he's just mocking us."

She looked over to where Kyuubi, in his usual Sasuke-ish from, was reading aloud from "Icha Icha Paradise: A New Beach of Love", and then looked back at her lieutenant, "Thats a very insightful observation you make there."

The lieutenant grinned like an excited puppy, "Thank you."

"I was being sarcastic."

"Oh..."

There was a gap in conversation, then a sob could be heard from the crowd of sand-nin, and one of the chuunin started to get teary eyed, "I'm sorry... but I just can't help it... It's so sad. Jack and Kristy love each other, but they both know it can never be... This performance is so touching."

An eyebrow started to twitch, _I am commander of the ANBU, respected by all. I am not going to lose my cool. I am NOT going to lose my cool. I am not going to..._

Kyuubi used the squeaky voice, "I don't care, Jack, I don't care! Even if we are siblings, I must have you!"

The commander's control almost snapped as the entire crowd of shinobi, including her personally trained ANBU, collectively gasped in shock, and she started to massage her temples slowly.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Temari, now dry, emerged from her bathroom to find Naruto sprawled on her bed staring blankly at the ceiling. "Making yourself at home?"

He spared a glance in her direction, "Yes, thank you. I'm a bit tired, since I really haven't slept for three days now."

"What could you possibly have been doing?"

"Re-condensing a numerous square miles of mist into thousands of gallons of water. "

"I trust that theres a long and involved story there, but I probably couldn't give less of a damn about it right now."

"Thats about what I figured."

Shoving him over slightly, Temari lied down and rested her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. When she spoke, her voice had none of it's usual vitality.

"I really thought you were dead. I honestly believed it after seeing that desert of glass."

"I know."

"You beat him, right?"

"Yeah, I beat him."

"So what now?"

Naruto let out a slow breath, "That depends on you."

"On me?"

"I can't stay in hidden sand for very long, so if you decide to remain here then..."

Naruto was cut off as Temari pinched his side, "Listen, after this last mess, you'll be lucky if I let you out of my sight for a few months."

"Well then, we don't have to meet Itachi and Kisame for some time yet, so I'd like to visit the country of the wave."

"Country of the wave?"

"Yeah. I figure we a base of operations somewhere, and Wave country has no shinobi, its relatively out of the way, plus I like it there, so I thought I might buy up some real estate."

"You're not worried about being vulnerable if we stay in one place?"

"I intend to take safety precautions, but I'm not overly concerned. There are a lot of politicians who have far more numerous and powerful enemies than I do, and none of them have a tenth my power, yet they sleep contentedly in their own houses."

"You've thought this through, it seems."

"I've been rolling the idea around in my head for a while now."

"But we can stay here for tonight, right? You're not planning on going anywhere?"

Naruto laughed and rolled Temari off him, leaning over to steal a quick kiss, "Tonight, I don't even plan on moving from this spot."

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Kankuro pushed open his front door to find his brother sitting on their couch looking strained, "Hey Gaara, what are you doing?"

"Nothing."

"I looks like Naruto's alive."

"I know."

"What? How?"

"He's upstairs."

Kankuro did a little mental figuring, "And you're doing nothing?"

Gaara nodded, "Absolutely nothing. It's the hardest thing I've ever done in my entire life."

"I'm thinking we should get you out of the house. Hell, I don't think _I _want to be in the house."

"Where would we go?"

"We could go watch a demonic sword transformed into Uchiha Sasuke recite his own rendition of a porn novel in monologue."

"I'm assuming this is one one of those things that makes more sense when you see it?"

"Not really, but I kind of enjoy watching the commander of the ANBU tear out her hair."

Gaara stood up slowly and forced himself to walk out the front door as Kankuro continued talking, "And for what it's worth, the demon is pretty good with his different voices."

/-/-/-/The End/-/-/-/


End file.
